After five very long minutes of screaming their hearts out, all the Vortian scientists, engineers, designers, testers and everyone else in the room shut themselves up and started to pay attention to the commander (for once)
"Good, I knew that'll get your attention! Yes, she will be coming to expect all our little mini projects and devices, yadda, yadda, yadda.. ..But the main reason she's coming is because of the new Bludgeon Class Fleet Leader, a soon-to be Irken ship they really, really, REALLY need, or they'll blow off your heads!"
The commander gives a little chuckle to himself, while the other have frightened looks on their faces and holding on to their dear heads.
This is more like it, said 296 in his mind, and he leans back in his chair, legs idly up on the table. "And you all know by now the advantages of obeying the Almighty Irken Tallests and the use of their awards to us-"
He keeps rambling on and on for over and hour, everyone forms out a bored, sleepy look on themselves as time goes by. Lard Nar fiddles around with his round green goggles, which truly meant a lot to him. But every Vortian knows that wearing goggles 24/7 made you look foolish.
He didn't care, ever since the early days of working with the scientists and mixing chemicals, he'd always forget to take off his goggles for lunch break, wearing them and thought he was better off looking foolish with goggles then to look like everyone else having tiny beady eyes..
He yawned silently, but just enough to tell you there was no point of this meeting after all. "This is utterly pointless. I wonder if--- "
WOOOSH!!!! Slam!!"
Lard Nar turned around to the window he was looking at earlier and saw a some red machinery from a distance on the side of the building. But it was hard to see, so he listened carefully to the screaming lady.
"HEY! Be careful landing that ship! It's hard enough as it is to scream 12 floors down this ugly building just to give orders, you know!!!!!!"
The only one in the room who heard that yell, and, by standing right next to the exit door, he had an advantage to leave quickly. But leaving while the Commander was talking?? And possibly taking one of his eagle eyes on him to make sure he does no nitwit-y things?
"Well... I bet no one would notice I was missing..." Whispering to himself, looking at the window and back at the Commander repeatedly. " But they might hear the door slide open.... And they might need me to do some kind of special job........Nah! I better check it now and leave this bore shack!"
Lard Nar slides off his seat, crawls under the table and slyly opens the door about 6 inches out. He fits thorugh and runs down the dark, gloomy hallway to get closer and closer to that cold, thick, female voice as she screamed out more and more.
Finally, at the end of the hall, he gets to a door that's slightly open, and inside is another boring-looking meeting. But this time with IRKEN officers, advisors, and Almighty Tallest Miyuki herself, as she stands at the end of the long table with her shiny, shades of green hard suit of royalty. Lard Nar gasps, but covers his mouth to keep his breathing noises quiet.
"Ahh---eeeem!" She had a bizarre high pitched voice going on for that second, and sits deeply into her comfy hover-chair. "Those foolish little Vortians think we'll be here later, but I wanted to come early just to SURPRISE them!" She cocks up a typical maniacal laugh Irken-style, officers then do the same.
"Moronic! Just, plain, MORONIC! They don't even realize that this very project is THE GRAND MASSIVE! The ship with the armada! The technology! The weapons of mass destruction! The advanced computers and monitoring cameras! And not to mention all the life time supply of snacks all for ME!!" Miyuki licks her nonexistent lips with her snake tongue, making even Lard Nar be creep out a bit.
One of the officers in a purple overcoat stands up, asking, "But what are we gonna do with this big thing? Show it off to our friends, my tallest? Huh? Huh?!? Huh???"
The officer across from him stands to, saying in his hissy voice: "Yeah! And what are the thick-brains gonna get for building. Some kind of award, my tallest?
"What if one of the Vortians finds out about before they Finnish it? Wouldn't ruin our plan?"
"And don't forget that Irken who has cause so much chaos for the past several years? Zim, is it?"
"Enough questions already!" Miyuki shouts at all her assistents, bobbing them in the heads. "Don't you already now our plan with the massive, you idiots?! We're having it and the armada invade all the planets on my Conquest List and conquer those planets as part of OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM! HA!HA!"
The Top Secret Project, Lard Nar gasped in thought. This was a lot more interesting than the meeting down the hall, but he would definitely not let himself be exposed to him, despite the fun of spying further in the room.
"Vortians and Zims won't and NEVER WILL worry me! Because I'm so tall and successful in life!" Miyuki mumbles to herself, "Memo: Execute them all for being so dumb and unworthy of living! Ha ha!' And as for the award, I'll give them....ummmm...."
She looks for something in all of her pockets, and pulls out a really tiny bag. "Ah-ha!! A bag of jellybeans! They surely will think a tiny bag of jellybeans is a most excellent award for all the work they'll be doing for the next several years! Pathetic fools! Thick-brained Squishees! Idiotic little creatures of ugliness! Sacks of Lard!--"
Lard Nar feels insulted by her last comment, though he is used to being made fun of for anything. "HEY! You fuckn' bi---" He pauses, realizes what he's doing and seals his mouth again.
"They have no idea what they're getting themselves (and the whole entire Universe) into! And the best part of it is, by the time they found out, they'll be imprisoned for life and will have to obey ME, Almighty Tall--"
"Don't you mean us? You know, the WHOLE Irken Empire?" An officer points out, knowing that you don't make yourself more clever in front of any Tallest. But Miyuki gets the point and makes the whole government happy.
"Yes, well, they will have to obey me, Almighty Tallest Miyuki, and all the other Irkens....MUAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Join me! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!"
And all the other Irkens in the room laugh along with her, and the shocked, insulted and-yet amazed Lard Nar escaped Irken madness, running back to the hall, screaming and yelling out gibberish . He runs so fast that by the time he gets to the sliding door, he runs right through it without even noticing (ouch!).
"It's all a trick! a horrible, cruel and terrifying trick!!!! The Bludgeon Fleet Leader is really a devastating conquest ship and Tallest Miyuki is in this building right now, talking about how they're gonna use it for their top secret plan :Operation Impending Doom!"
By this time some of the scientists have expressed "What the hell?" looks, but continue to listen this pile of trash anyway.
"If we fight back now, the Irkens won't stand a chance trying to rule the whole Universe! COME ON! While there's still time!!!"
The fellow workers and Vortians in the room laugh hysterically, and a lot more louder than ever before at him, pointing fingers and shouting 'Crazy Vortian!' or, their favorite, 'You NITWIT!!' Treating him so horribly now that even a Vortian Engineer throws a pie right at Lard Nar's face.
Lard Nar growls for frustration and humiliation, and despite that he hates anything thrown right on his face, he tried a piece of the pie. Sweet Meekrob blurberry with Radical strawberry slices from the rare Meekrobian 'Fruit For Thought' trees in the rainforests of Zi-An. His favorite.
Of course 296 was laughing into tears as the pie was thrown, and his chuckles stopped the taunting. "Ha, ha ha! Ha....*sigh*. Well, now that we totally humiliated Lard Nar once again for the rest of his damned life, the unfortunate one will get to present Tallest Miyuki with this holographic model of the ship, "He shows the model to the crowd. It looks like a poor version of The Massive
"the only model we have of it, we shall select the one....RIGHT NOW! YOU! SPIN THE WHEEL OF INFERNAL PAIN, TOTAL IMPORTANCE AND NERVOUSNESS!!"
He points to a slate skinned Vortain female, who comes up to what looks like a wheel used for Bingo and spins it very fast. Already she is starting to sweat nervously, hoping it isn't her of any of her friends.
Lard Nar questions the Commander's use of descirption for the wheel. "Total Importance!?!? Who the hell will come up with such a pathetic name for just a simple Bingo wheel?"
"If the chosen one drops the model, insults Tallest Miyuki, gets a lot of crappy comments about the ship's design or does anything Lard Nar would do, then that will be a very horrible disappointment, wouldn't it?
"But you wouldn't even have to worry about disappointing ME!You'll never have to had little worries like that again, because if you DO screw things up for us, THEN YOU'LL HAVE A PERMANENT BAN FOR WORKING IN MILITARY TECHNOLOGY EVER AGAIN!!!
"I guarantee there won't be much other job options for Vortians, SO DON'T MESS UP THIS DAY FOR ANY OF US, MAGGOT!! But you will get a huge promotion if the expectation succeeds. STOP WHEEL TURNING NOW!!"
Jilwiskey, the girl, stops immediately and a chilling feeling goes through all the spines of everyone in the room. She opens the wheel and grabs a crumpled piece of paper away from the other paper crumbles and opens the paper up slowly, to crowd the room with utter suspense fear, but not much surprise in her eyes.
"Lard Nar."
"Oh.....shit!"
A Vortain scientist stands up against this preposterous picking of the bingo wheel. But only because he was jealous that Lard nar might get the prize.
"Him?!? Why him? He doesn't deserve ANOTHER promotion in his life! Why does he get the honors?"
"Who says he'll ACTUALLY succeed? He's just BOUND to get fired. I bet 1000 monies on that to everyone here!" Whispered back a Vortian Tester.
"Yeah! That little Nitwit never does anything right! Oh, this is gonna make my day!" Squeals a female in exitement.
Lard Nar doesn't seem to know what's going on. The crowd turns around to face him, smiling with an evil grin.
Lard Nar instantly thinks in himself, "Dear Diary of my mind, I learned something new today. Life.....it sucks. For me and me only. FUCK!!"
"Good, I knew that'll get your attention! Yes, she will be coming to expect all our little mini projects and devices, yadda, yadda, yadda.. ..But the main reason she's coming is because of the new Bludgeon Class Fleet Leader, a soon-to be Irken ship they really, really, REALLY need, or they'll blow off your heads!"
The commander gives a little chuckle to himself, while the other have frightened looks on their faces and holding on to their dear heads.
This is more like it, said 296 in his mind, and he leans back in his chair, legs idly up on the table. "And you all know by now the advantages of obeying the Almighty Irken Tallests and the use of their awards to us-"
He keeps rambling on and on for over and hour, everyone forms out a bored, sleepy look on themselves as time goes by. Lard Nar fiddles around with his round green goggles, which truly meant a lot to him. But every Vortian knows that wearing goggles 24/7 made you look foolish.
He didn't care, ever since the early days of working with the scientists and mixing chemicals, he'd always forget to take off his goggles for lunch break, wearing them and thought he was better off looking foolish with goggles then to look like everyone else having tiny beady eyes..
He yawned silently, but just enough to tell you there was no point of this meeting after all. "This is utterly pointless. I wonder if--- "
WOOOSH!!!! Slam!!"
Lard Nar turned around to the window he was looking at earlier and saw a some red machinery from a distance on the side of the building. But it was hard to see, so he listened carefully to the screaming lady.
"HEY! Be careful landing that ship! It's hard enough as it is to scream 12 floors down this ugly building just to give orders, you know!!!!!!"
The only one in the room who heard that yell, and, by standing right next to the exit door, he had an advantage to leave quickly. But leaving while the Commander was talking?? And possibly taking one of his eagle eyes on him to make sure he does no nitwit-y things?
"Well... I bet no one would notice I was missing..." Whispering to himself, looking at the window and back at the Commander repeatedly. " But they might hear the door slide open.... And they might need me to do some kind of special job........Nah! I better check it now and leave this bore shack!"
Lard Nar slides off his seat, crawls under the table and slyly opens the door about 6 inches out. He fits thorugh and runs down the dark, gloomy hallway to get closer and closer to that cold, thick, female voice as she screamed out more and more.
Finally, at the end of the hall, he gets to a door that's slightly open, and inside is another boring-looking meeting. But this time with IRKEN officers, advisors, and Almighty Tallest Miyuki herself, as she stands at the end of the long table with her shiny, shades of green hard suit of royalty. Lard Nar gasps, but covers his mouth to keep his breathing noises quiet.
"Ahh---eeeem!" She had a bizarre high pitched voice going on for that second, and sits deeply into her comfy hover-chair. "Those foolish little Vortians think we'll be here later, but I wanted to come early just to SURPRISE them!" She cocks up a typical maniacal laugh Irken-style, officers then do the same.
"Moronic! Just, plain, MORONIC! They don't even realize that this very project is THE GRAND MASSIVE! The ship with the armada! The technology! The weapons of mass destruction! The advanced computers and monitoring cameras! And not to mention all the life time supply of snacks all for ME!!" Miyuki licks her nonexistent lips with her snake tongue, making even Lard Nar be creep out a bit.
One of the officers in a purple overcoat stands up, asking, "But what are we gonna do with this big thing? Show it off to our friends, my tallest? Huh? Huh?!? Huh???"
The officer across from him stands to, saying in his hissy voice: "Yeah! And what are the thick-brains gonna get for building. Some kind of award, my tallest?
"What if one of the Vortians finds out about before they Finnish it? Wouldn't ruin our plan?"
"And don't forget that Irken who has cause so much chaos for the past several years? Zim, is it?"
"Enough questions already!" Miyuki shouts at all her assistents, bobbing them in the heads. "Don't you already now our plan with the massive, you idiots?! We're having it and the armada invade all the planets on my Conquest List and conquer those planets as part of OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM! HA!HA!"
The Top Secret Project, Lard Nar gasped in thought. This was a lot more interesting than the meeting down the hall, but he would definitely not let himself be exposed to him, despite the fun of spying further in the room.
"Vortians and Zims won't and NEVER WILL worry me! Because I'm so tall and successful in life!" Miyuki mumbles to herself, "Memo: Execute them all for being so dumb and unworthy of living! Ha ha!' And as for the award, I'll give them....ummmm...."
She looks for something in all of her pockets, and pulls out a really tiny bag. "Ah-ha!! A bag of jellybeans! They surely will think a tiny bag of jellybeans is a most excellent award for all the work they'll be doing for the next several years! Pathetic fools! Thick-brained Squishees! Idiotic little creatures of ugliness! Sacks of Lard!--"
Lard Nar feels insulted by her last comment, though he is used to being made fun of for anything. "HEY! You fuckn' bi---" He pauses, realizes what he's doing and seals his mouth again.
"They have no idea what they're getting themselves (and the whole entire Universe) into! And the best part of it is, by the time they found out, they'll be imprisoned for life and will have to obey ME, Almighty Tall--"
"Don't you mean us? You know, the WHOLE Irken Empire?" An officer points out, knowing that you don't make yourself more clever in front of any Tallest. But Miyuki gets the point and makes the whole government happy.
"Yes, well, they will have to obey me, Almighty Tallest Miyuki, and all the other Irkens....MUAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Join me! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!"
And all the other Irkens in the room laugh along with her, and the shocked, insulted and-yet amazed Lard Nar escaped Irken madness, running back to the hall, screaming and yelling out gibberish . He runs so fast that by the time he gets to the sliding door, he runs right through it without even noticing (ouch!).
"It's all a trick! a horrible, cruel and terrifying trick!!!! The Bludgeon Fleet Leader is really a devastating conquest ship and Tallest Miyuki is in this building right now, talking about how they're gonna use it for their top secret plan :Operation Impending Doom!"
By this time some of the scientists have expressed "What the hell?" looks, but continue to listen this pile of trash anyway.
"If we fight back now, the Irkens won't stand a chance trying to rule the whole Universe! COME ON! While there's still time!!!"
The fellow workers and Vortians in the room laugh hysterically, and a lot more louder than ever before at him, pointing fingers and shouting 'Crazy Vortian!' or, their favorite, 'You NITWIT!!' Treating him so horribly now that even a Vortian Engineer throws a pie right at Lard Nar's face.
Lard Nar growls for frustration and humiliation, and despite that he hates anything thrown right on his face, he tried a piece of the pie. Sweet Meekrob blurberry with Radical strawberry slices from the rare Meekrobian 'Fruit For Thought' trees in the rainforests of Zi-An. His favorite.
Of course 296 was laughing into tears as the pie was thrown, and his chuckles stopped the taunting. "Ha, ha ha! Ha....*sigh*. Well, now that we totally humiliated Lard Nar once again for the rest of his damned life, the unfortunate one will get to present Tallest Miyuki with this holographic model of the ship, "He shows the model to the crowd. It looks like a poor version of The Massive
"the only model we have of it, we shall select the one....RIGHT NOW! YOU! SPIN THE WHEEL OF INFERNAL PAIN, TOTAL IMPORTANCE AND NERVOUSNESS!!"
He points to a slate skinned Vortain female, who comes up to what looks like a wheel used for Bingo and spins it very fast. Already she is starting to sweat nervously, hoping it isn't her of any of her friends.
Lard Nar questions the Commander's use of descirption for the wheel. "Total Importance!?!? Who the hell will come up with such a pathetic name for just a simple Bingo wheel?"
"If the chosen one drops the model, insults Tallest Miyuki, gets a lot of crappy comments about the ship's design or does anything Lard Nar would do, then that will be a very horrible disappointment, wouldn't it?
"But you wouldn't even have to worry about disappointing ME!You'll never have to had little worries like that again, because if you DO screw things up for us, THEN YOU'LL HAVE A PERMANENT BAN FOR WORKING IN MILITARY TECHNOLOGY EVER AGAIN!!!
"I guarantee there won't be much other job options for Vortians, SO DON'T MESS UP THIS DAY FOR ANY OF US, MAGGOT!! But you will get a huge promotion if the expectation succeeds. STOP WHEEL TURNING NOW!!"
Jilwiskey, the girl, stops immediately and a chilling feeling goes through all the spines of everyone in the room. She opens the wheel and grabs a crumpled piece of paper away from the other paper crumbles and opens the paper up slowly, to crowd the room with utter suspense fear, but not much surprise in her eyes.
"Lard Nar."
"Oh.....shit!"
A Vortain scientist stands up against this preposterous picking of the bingo wheel. But only because he was jealous that Lard nar might get the prize.
"Him?!? Why him? He doesn't deserve ANOTHER promotion in his life! Why does he get the honors?"
"Who says he'll ACTUALLY succeed? He's just BOUND to get fired. I bet 1000 monies on that to everyone here!" Whispered back a Vortian Tester.
"Yeah! That little Nitwit never does anything right! Oh, this is gonna make my day!" Squeals a female in exitement.
Lard Nar doesn't seem to know what's going on. The crowd turns around to face him, smiling with an evil grin.
Lard Nar instantly thinks in himself, "Dear Diary of my mind, I learned something new today. Life.....it sucks. For me and me only. FUCK!!"