KIWI'S NOTES: This is the last chapter I have on my computer. If anyone has the others saved (I doubt it, but I might as well ask), can you send them to me please? My email is kiwi@sennen-ring.net ... well, okay, that just redirects to my main email address, but I couldn't help but semi-plug the now almost fully functional Millennium Library...
NOTES: Okay, let's go through this. I was SO running out of ideas for this one, so I had to enlist the help of various people. Said people including Kiwi, Omega the Gryffin, and Zero. So they get a thanks.
Oh and another thing - several websites I've seen say Marik's vegetarian. So he is in this story. What kind of homicidal nut is vegetarian? This one, apparently.
-------------
STRESS REMEDY
BY LOGO
-------------
Well, Ryou managed to stop me from getting at the Pringles. Partially because he can see me when I get up to go and get them, but mostly because he called Joey and told him to get a pizza. And said I wasn't going to get any unless I left the Pringles alone.
Of course, that's only a delay.
Having switched from the weird tag tournament Duel Monsters fighting game thing to Sonic the Hedgehog, Yami is currently kicking my ass in racing, with the worst character in the whole fucking game. Yeah, the pink one. I can't remember their names.
He's just paralysed my character again. Bastard.
It's not as if I'm crap at this game or anything, it's just that Yami has this annoying habit of winning everything. Oh well, I'm playing Marik next, on the treasure hunting game. I'll be playing as the peachy-coloured girl. Because she reminds me of Ryou.
Ryou's commented on the fact I like playing as her. He thinks I'd pick anyone who wasn't a peace-making, sweet little girl. I wonder if he noticed he's pretty much describing himself?
After that, it's Marik racing against Ryou. I'm REALLY looking forward to them playing against each other. Simply put, I'll be free to observe those mesmerising expressions they both get when playing. Marik tends to gnaw on his bottom lip and frown slightly, and Ryou looks like he's spaced out. I'm pretty sure he'd have that expression after a night of... yeah, well, I'm sure you know what I mean. It'd involve his face being flushed as well though.
Well, Yami won. What a surprise. The pink thing is squeaking in that ridiculously high-pitched voice. She makes me think of Tea after inhaling helium. Yes, she's THAT annoying.
But not as annoying as a certain someone who's just picked me up and put me on his lap. Yes, Yarik's finally come out of the rod.
I honestly don't know if it's a genuine crush or if he's just trying (successfully) to rid me of my last remaining shred of sanity. All I know is, I'm not interested.
Okay, so he's hot, but if you don't mind, I'd rather stick to people who AREN'T bigger, stronger, and more uncontrollable than me.
Besides, he's got Marik.
"Hey Bakura!" Yarik chirps. He's always too happy, in a destructive psychotic kind of way. Basically, if people say I'm nuts, I introduce them to Yarik. Who usually tries to introduce them to the Millennium Rod, namely the pointy part, but Marik usually stops him in one way or another. Occasionally threatening him with no sex.
I repeat: I WANT SEX!
"I'm going to get something to eat," Yami says, heading, once again, into the kitchen. He'd better not grab any of MY Pringles. He's still bouncing around like a bunny on steroids, only ever so slightly subdued by the several painful attacks of heavy objects. Heavy objects including the curtain rail, the book, a shelf, a plate (I hit him over the head with it because he tried to steal the cheesecake - Yami likes to steal food), the Millennium Rod, and for some unknown reason, a porcelain plant-pot. Oh yeah, and Ryou accidentally hit him in the face with a door.
Yarik's currently occupying himself by licking my neck. Not in the sensual kind of way, more like a dog. Freak. From past experiences I have learned that struggling is no good. I would kick him in the balls, but in this particular situation, I can't reach.
He REALLY needs a kick. He's got an erection, and it's digging into my back, QUITE painfully. My head vibrates under the powerful force of my twitchy eye.
"Yarik, if you don't mind, I'm supposed to be playing against your hikari here!"
"So?"
"So, let go."
"But I don't wanna!"
"Let go."
"NO!"
And he clings to me even harder. I think my ribs are going to crack.
"Yarik, let go of Bakura," Marik orders. He sounds odd with his blocked nose. "You can do all that later."
"With you?" I ask. I have to make sure, especially considering the nature of Marik's personality.
"What? You must be joking. I'm not having him slobbering all over me like a mongrel."
Well, there's a surprise.
"Well then, have him grab Yami next time."
"What was that about me?" Yami asks. Great, he's back. Oh, how absolutely fucking wonderful, he found the Pepsi. And he's got a pint glass full of the stuff.
The doorbell conveniently rings. Yarik bounces up and knocks me to the floor.
"I WILL KILL THE EVIL DOORBELL RINGING PERSON! THE DOORBELL RINGER MUST BE... destroyed? Um..." Like I said before, a good threatening glare from Marik soon calms this weirdo down. Even if his eyes ARE pink and puffy and sicky-looking and pitiful and adorable and... I'll shut up now.
Yugi answers. It's Joey. With added circular pieces of edible stuff.
"Hey guys! I got two pizzas seein' as y'all like to stuff yer faces!"
"Hah, more like YOU like to stuff your face," Marik comments. "What kind?" He snatches a box from Joey. "You'd better have remembered I don't eat..."
"Hey, don' worry yourself there Marik. One of 'em's a half an' half. One side spicy vegetable. Yer the only vegetarian here, y'know."
"Great, you're not as stupid as I thought."
"An' by the way, that box you got there is pepperoni."
"And you can tell... how?"
"Because I already knew it was the top one."
"I still think they should put lemon on pizza," Yarik tells me. Yarik has some weird obsession with lemon anything. Especially the real thing. Yarik and Ryou are the only people I know who can stand actually EATING them.
"No, that sounds horrible," Yami comments. I SEE those eyes rolling, stupid patronising idiotic hyperactive pharaoh! Well, at least he hasn't done anything particularly stupid since he forgot that there were glass panels in the patio doors and bounced happily into them.
Ouch.
Yami turns off the TV and the GameCube, and Joey puts the pizza down on the table. We'd put on some music, but the stereo died about a year ago. Ryou's dad is never around long enough to actually bother sending it to be fixed. Yami offered to help. Ryou refused. I wonder why.
So, pizza.
I like pizza. Especially pizza with pineapple on it. I don't like it when people try to steal the pineapple.
Ryou, being Ryou, picks off any pineapple and pepperoni and leaves it to eat seperately. Motion of fingers... so delicate. I swear he was a girl in a past life.
Crap, I can't have just said that. He was ME in a past life.
Joey and Yarik have such similar table manners. At least I bother to actually bite it first, rather than pull off the crust and stuff the rest of the pizza into my mouth. They find chewing it very difficult.
Marik... well, he's eating kind of slow. Normally he goes at pretty much my pace. Must be that cold of his.
"Too quiet," Yami comments. "We need to talk about something."
"How about... bunnies?" Yarik suggests. Wow, Yarik, what an interesting topic.
"Rabbits are evil," Ryou says. "Seriously."
"No, you can't say that!" Yugi argues. "How can you not like rabbits?"
Ryou responds by standing and pulling up the left leg of his pants. The sheer bagginess of them lets him pull them up to show the scar just above his knee. "Got viciously attacked by one," he explains, before sitting back down and noticing that Yami had stolen some of his reserved pineapple.
"Well, you can eat bunnies," Yarik starts out. "You take ferrets hunting with you and they bite their necks like vampires! And the bunny is squealing and bleeding everywhere but it won't live long because the ferret shakes it and shakes it until it's dead and gone limp, and you take it home and chop it up and..."
He manages to say that with a childish grin on his face the whole way through.
"Thanks for that enlightening tale," Marik groans. "Since when have you known about rabbit hunting, anyway?"
Yarik shrugs. Yarik has a tendency to make assumptions... and twist them into something involving a lot of sick imagery... so I think he got most of that completely wrong.
"That was SICK, Yarik! You'll put Yugi off his food!" Yami yells.
"Yami, I'm fine..."
"But he..."
"DOWN!"
"...okay..."
Joey's mouth is far too full to talk. Same with Yarik, but he has an 'I AM THE VICTOR, MUAHAHAH!' look on his face.
Yugi's trying to control Yami again. One day I'll be able to do that to Ryou. Ah yes, the things I could do with Ryou when that happens. I could actually live out my fantasies. To some degree. If I can get Yarik to let me borrow his hikari for a little while, then it'd be perfect.
Ryou's way of eating makes me think of where his mouth COULD be. Oh yes.
So I failed in my attempt to suppress my sexually deprived mind's antics. Well, I have to go to the bathroom again.
"Going upstairs a minute," I tell everyone. Marik and Yugi are both snickering.
Once again, I take care of myself. However, after I've washed my hands and head back, something catches my eye.
HOLY FUCK THAT SPIDER'S HUGE!
I immediately jump back from the bath. THAT is the kind of spider I'm terrified of. The big, bony, kind of hairy, huge, brown ones! IT'S THE WAY THEY MOVE, I SWEAR!
Of course, since I'm a freak, I can't resist going back to have another look. To feel the fear. I like the fear.
SHIT! It's MOVING!
The thing climbs out of the bath and runs across the floor.
I HATE the way these spiders move! ESPECIALLY when they're moving towards ME!
I immediately go back into the Ring. MY Ring. My sanctuary. Of course, Ryou notices, like he always does when I go back in.
/"Uh, Bakura? What exactly are you doing?"/
//"There's a fucking HUGE spider in the bathroom!"//
/"Are you going conditionally arachnaphobic on me again?"/
//"...yes."//
/"Did you unbolt the door before you left the bathroom?"/
//"...no."//
/"WHAT? You IDIOT!"/
//"I panicked! It was running at me!"//
/"Great, now we're locked out of the bathroom."/
I leave the Ring, and end up sitting next to Ryou.
"Sorry?"
Ryou sighs. "I need a couple of you guys to help knock the bolt-hole-thing out of the door frame. Bakura stupidly left it bolted."
"Why didn't you just come downstairs?" Yami asked me.
"Because he saw a spider and panicked."
This is followed by a lot of laughter from everyone but me and Ryou.
"HEY!" I complain. "It's called a phobia! I can't help it!"
"Actually, it's a conditional phobia," Ryou responds. "You grab flies and put them in spider webs just to watch the spider eat them."
"Yeah, but those spiders don't move freakily," I defend.
"Alright," Joey says, wiping some of the tomato sauce from the pizza onto his sleeve. "Let's go knock this door down!"
And so everyone heads upstairs. Where Joey and Yarik proceed to ram into the bathroom door.
"You know, guys, it might help if someone held the handle down," Yugi points out.
"Then why don't you?" Marik asks. Yugi shrugs, and grabs the door handle, positioning himself in front of the door rather than beside so the two wouldn't break his arm when the door opened.
It took about five hits for the door to open. And the first thing that happened was the spider racing out at top speed.
"SHIT!" Yami yelps, clinging to the wall for safety. See, I told you it was big and scary. Even Yami's scared. New mockery opportunity.
Yarik and Joey look awed.
"Now that is one big spider," Marik comments, looking stunned. "How the hell did it get through the plughole?"
"That's the mystery of those spiders," Ryou responds. "And now..."
He grabs hold of the vaccuum cleaner, which is at the top of the stairs.
"Yer gonna kill it with that thing?" Joey asks. Ryou nods happily, plugging it in and turning it on, before he chases after the spider. And since this is one of those bagless, 'cyclone' vacuum cleaners, we all get to watch the evil creature go round and round and round and round...
END OF PART 6
One day I will return to the plot. I swear.
Next chapter, Yarik declares war on Yami over the Pepsi. You thought caffeine high Yami was bad? Wait until you get caffeine high Yarik. And it's best not to argue when he tells you cars are just evolved ponies.
Tried to make this chapter a bit longer. Sorta failed. I was supposed to go further than the spider... but that file was on the school computers and they took away my network access because of it. That is the main reason why it took so long to update. Too much innuendo for the IT tech. So, this is just the one that was on my computer.
It'll take a little longer than usual to update because I can't work on the school computers anymore.
NOTES: Okay, let's go through this. I was SO running out of ideas for this one, so I had to enlist the help of various people. Said people including Kiwi, Omega the Gryffin, and Zero. So they get a thanks.
Oh and another thing - several websites I've seen say Marik's vegetarian. So he is in this story. What kind of homicidal nut is vegetarian? This one, apparently.
-------------
STRESS REMEDY
BY LOGO
-------------
Well, Ryou managed to stop me from getting at the Pringles. Partially because he can see me when I get up to go and get them, but mostly because he called Joey and told him to get a pizza. And said I wasn't going to get any unless I left the Pringles alone.
Of course, that's only a delay.
Having switched from the weird tag tournament Duel Monsters fighting game thing to Sonic the Hedgehog, Yami is currently kicking my ass in racing, with the worst character in the whole fucking game. Yeah, the pink one. I can't remember their names.
He's just paralysed my character again. Bastard.
It's not as if I'm crap at this game or anything, it's just that Yami has this annoying habit of winning everything. Oh well, I'm playing Marik next, on the treasure hunting game. I'll be playing as the peachy-coloured girl. Because she reminds me of Ryou.
Ryou's commented on the fact I like playing as her. He thinks I'd pick anyone who wasn't a peace-making, sweet little girl. I wonder if he noticed he's pretty much describing himself?
After that, it's Marik racing against Ryou. I'm REALLY looking forward to them playing against each other. Simply put, I'll be free to observe those mesmerising expressions they both get when playing. Marik tends to gnaw on his bottom lip and frown slightly, and Ryou looks like he's spaced out. I'm pretty sure he'd have that expression after a night of... yeah, well, I'm sure you know what I mean. It'd involve his face being flushed as well though.
Well, Yami won. What a surprise. The pink thing is squeaking in that ridiculously high-pitched voice. She makes me think of Tea after inhaling helium. Yes, she's THAT annoying.
But not as annoying as a certain someone who's just picked me up and put me on his lap. Yes, Yarik's finally come out of the rod.
I honestly don't know if it's a genuine crush or if he's just trying (successfully) to rid me of my last remaining shred of sanity. All I know is, I'm not interested.
Okay, so he's hot, but if you don't mind, I'd rather stick to people who AREN'T bigger, stronger, and more uncontrollable than me.
Besides, he's got Marik.
"Hey Bakura!" Yarik chirps. He's always too happy, in a destructive psychotic kind of way. Basically, if people say I'm nuts, I introduce them to Yarik. Who usually tries to introduce them to the Millennium Rod, namely the pointy part, but Marik usually stops him in one way or another. Occasionally threatening him with no sex.
I repeat: I WANT SEX!
"I'm going to get something to eat," Yami says, heading, once again, into the kitchen. He'd better not grab any of MY Pringles. He's still bouncing around like a bunny on steroids, only ever so slightly subdued by the several painful attacks of heavy objects. Heavy objects including the curtain rail, the book, a shelf, a plate (I hit him over the head with it because he tried to steal the cheesecake - Yami likes to steal food), the Millennium Rod, and for some unknown reason, a porcelain plant-pot. Oh yeah, and Ryou accidentally hit him in the face with a door.
Yarik's currently occupying himself by licking my neck. Not in the sensual kind of way, more like a dog. Freak. From past experiences I have learned that struggling is no good. I would kick him in the balls, but in this particular situation, I can't reach.
He REALLY needs a kick. He's got an erection, and it's digging into my back, QUITE painfully. My head vibrates under the powerful force of my twitchy eye.
"Yarik, if you don't mind, I'm supposed to be playing against your hikari here!"
"So?"
"So, let go."
"But I don't wanna!"
"Let go."
"NO!"
And he clings to me even harder. I think my ribs are going to crack.
"Yarik, let go of Bakura," Marik orders. He sounds odd with his blocked nose. "You can do all that later."
"With you?" I ask. I have to make sure, especially considering the nature of Marik's personality.
"What? You must be joking. I'm not having him slobbering all over me like a mongrel."
Well, there's a surprise.
"Well then, have him grab Yami next time."
"What was that about me?" Yami asks. Great, he's back. Oh, how absolutely fucking wonderful, he found the Pepsi. And he's got a pint glass full of the stuff.
The doorbell conveniently rings. Yarik bounces up and knocks me to the floor.
"I WILL KILL THE EVIL DOORBELL RINGING PERSON! THE DOORBELL RINGER MUST BE... destroyed? Um..." Like I said before, a good threatening glare from Marik soon calms this weirdo down. Even if his eyes ARE pink and puffy and sicky-looking and pitiful and adorable and... I'll shut up now.
Yugi answers. It's Joey. With added circular pieces of edible stuff.
"Hey guys! I got two pizzas seein' as y'all like to stuff yer faces!"
"Hah, more like YOU like to stuff your face," Marik comments. "What kind?" He snatches a box from Joey. "You'd better have remembered I don't eat..."
"Hey, don' worry yourself there Marik. One of 'em's a half an' half. One side spicy vegetable. Yer the only vegetarian here, y'know."
"Great, you're not as stupid as I thought."
"An' by the way, that box you got there is pepperoni."
"And you can tell... how?"
"Because I already knew it was the top one."
"I still think they should put lemon on pizza," Yarik tells me. Yarik has some weird obsession with lemon anything. Especially the real thing. Yarik and Ryou are the only people I know who can stand actually EATING them.
"No, that sounds horrible," Yami comments. I SEE those eyes rolling, stupid patronising idiotic hyperactive pharaoh! Well, at least he hasn't done anything particularly stupid since he forgot that there were glass panels in the patio doors and bounced happily into them.
Ouch.
Yami turns off the TV and the GameCube, and Joey puts the pizza down on the table. We'd put on some music, but the stereo died about a year ago. Ryou's dad is never around long enough to actually bother sending it to be fixed. Yami offered to help. Ryou refused. I wonder why.
So, pizza.
I like pizza. Especially pizza with pineapple on it. I don't like it when people try to steal the pineapple.
Ryou, being Ryou, picks off any pineapple and pepperoni and leaves it to eat seperately. Motion of fingers... so delicate. I swear he was a girl in a past life.
Crap, I can't have just said that. He was ME in a past life.
Joey and Yarik have such similar table manners. At least I bother to actually bite it first, rather than pull off the crust and stuff the rest of the pizza into my mouth. They find chewing it very difficult.
Marik... well, he's eating kind of slow. Normally he goes at pretty much my pace. Must be that cold of his.
"Too quiet," Yami comments. "We need to talk about something."
"How about... bunnies?" Yarik suggests. Wow, Yarik, what an interesting topic.
"Rabbits are evil," Ryou says. "Seriously."
"No, you can't say that!" Yugi argues. "How can you not like rabbits?"
Ryou responds by standing and pulling up the left leg of his pants. The sheer bagginess of them lets him pull them up to show the scar just above his knee. "Got viciously attacked by one," he explains, before sitting back down and noticing that Yami had stolen some of his reserved pineapple.
"Well, you can eat bunnies," Yarik starts out. "You take ferrets hunting with you and they bite their necks like vampires! And the bunny is squealing and bleeding everywhere but it won't live long because the ferret shakes it and shakes it until it's dead and gone limp, and you take it home and chop it up and..."
He manages to say that with a childish grin on his face the whole way through.
"Thanks for that enlightening tale," Marik groans. "Since when have you known about rabbit hunting, anyway?"
Yarik shrugs. Yarik has a tendency to make assumptions... and twist them into something involving a lot of sick imagery... so I think he got most of that completely wrong.
"That was SICK, Yarik! You'll put Yugi off his food!" Yami yells.
"Yami, I'm fine..."
"But he..."
"DOWN!"
"...okay..."
Joey's mouth is far too full to talk. Same with Yarik, but he has an 'I AM THE VICTOR, MUAHAHAH!' look on his face.
Yugi's trying to control Yami again. One day I'll be able to do that to Ryou. Ah yes, the things I could do with Ryou when that happens. I could actually live out my fantasies. To some degree. If I can get Yarik to let me borrow his hikari for a little while, then it'd be perfect.
Ryou's way of eating makes me think of where his mouth COULD be. Oh yes.
So I failed in my attempt to suppress my sexually deprived mind's antics. Well, I have to go to the bathroom again.
"Going upstairs a minute," I tell everyone. Marik and Yugi are both snickering.
Once again, I take care of myself. However, after I've washed my hands and head back, something catches my eye.
HOLY FUCK THAT SPIDER'S HUGE!
I immediately jump back from the bath. THAT is the kind of spider I'm terrified of. The big, bony, kind of hairy, huge, brown ones! IT'S THE WAY THEY MOVE, I SWEAR!
Of course, since I'm a freak, I can't resist going back to have another look. To feel the fear. I like the fear.
SHIT! It's MOVING!
The thing climbs out of the bath and runs across the floor.
I HATE the way these spiders move! ESPECIALLY when they're moving towards ME!
I immediately go back into the Ring. MY Ring. My sanctuary. Of course, Ryou notices, like he always does when I go back in.
/"Uh, Bakura? What exactly are you doing?"/
//"There's a fucking HUGE spider in the bathroom!"//
/"Are you going conditionally arachnaphobic on me again?"/
//"...yes."//
/"Did you unbolt the door before you left the bathroom?"/
//"...no."//
/"WHAT? You IDIOT!"/
//"I panicked! It was running at me!"//
/"Great, now we're locked out of the bathroom."/
I leave the Ring, and end up sitting next to Ryou.
"Sorry?"
Ryou sighs. "I need a couple of you guys to help knock the bolt-hole-thing out of the door frame. Bakura stupidly left it bolted."
"Why didn't you just come downstairs?" Yami asked me.
"Because he saw a spider and panicked."
This is followed by a lot of laughter from everyone but me and Ryou.
"HEY!" I complain. "It's called a phobia! I can't help it!"
"Actually, it's a conditional phobia," Ryou responds. "You grab flies and put them in spider webs just to watch the spider eat them."
"Yeah, but those spiders don't move freakily," I defend.
"Alright," Joey says, wiping some of the tomato sauce from the pizza onto his sleeve. "Let's go knock this door down!"
And so everyone heads upstairs. Where Joey and Yarik proceed to ram into the bathroom door.
"You know, guys, it might help if someone held the handle down," Yugi points out.
"Then why don't you?" Marik asks. Yugi shrugs, and grabs the door handle, positioning himself in front of the door rather than beside so the two wouldn't break his arm when the door opened.
It took about five hits for the door to open. And the first thing that happened was the spider racing out at top speed.
"SHIT!" Yami yelps, clinging to the wall for safety. See, I told you it was big and scary. Even Yami's scared. New mockery opportunity.
Yarik and Joey look awed.
"Now that is one big spider," Marik comments, looking stunned. "How the hell did it get through the plughole?"
"That's the mystery of those spiders," Ryou responds. "And now..."
He grabs hold of the vaccuum cleaner, which is at the top of the stairs.
"Yer gonna kill it with that thing?" Joey asks. Ryou nods happily, plugging it in and turning it on, before he chases after the spider. And since this is one of those bagless, 'cyclone' vacuum cleaners, we all get to watch the evil creature go round and round and round and round...
END OF PART 6
One day I will return to the plot. I swear.
Next chapter, Yarik declares war on Yami over the Pepsi. You thought caffeine high Yami was bad? Wait until you get caffeine high Yarik. And it's best not to argue when he tells you cars are just evolved ponies.
Tried to make this chapter a bit longer. Sorta failed. I was supposed to go further than the spider... but that file was on the school computers and they took away my network access because of it. That is the main reason why it took so long to update. Too much innuendo for the IT tech. So, this is just the one that was on my computer.
It'll take a little longer than usual to update because I can't work on the school computers anymore.