Preface: I do not (unfortunately) own any of the following: Treasure
Planet, Amy Brown or any of her art work (well, technically, I do own a journal, but you know what I mean), Garnier or any of the products, Billy
Blanks, Tae Bo, Patricia Ribbon or her books, Herbal Essences, or Nerf Foam Bats or any additional Nerf Products. And if that gives you any clue
what this chapter is like, you're right. (Except for Treasure Planet,
which I just forget to mention from an earlier chapter!)
Chapter Six: A Short Chapter About the Importance of Personal Hygiene
As the crew and the captains were leaving the basketball court,
Rachael and Emily seemed to be considering something. After a moment,
they agreed, and turned the crew.
"Listen up, bébés," called Emmy, "We're feeling rather rank after all
that exertion, so we're going to freshen up with a shower. We'll meet you
later."
"OK," said Orly, "Aragorn insists we must try the Pilates class, but
first we're going to Tae Bo."
"We'll meet you there," said Rachael, "But right now we've got a date
with a bottle of Garnier Fructis!"
They rushed off to the girlies locker room (yes, that is what the sign
says, thanks!) to have their shower. Meanwhile, the crew went over to the
room where the Tae Bo class was held.
For an hour, they enjoyed an intense work-out with many punches,
kicks, and occasional visits from the Ghost of Christmas Past. (If you've
ever read "Why Girls Are Weird" by Pamela Ribbon, you know what I'm
talking about.) They were rather distracted by their above said intense
work-out to bother wondering where the captains were. But as they were
"taking a break" (by running in place), Sir Ian did begin to wonder where
the girls were. It had been about an hour, and taking a shower doesn't
take that long.
Finally, with five minutes left, the girls, still clad in jeans and
other such clothing, entered the room, with a distinct and lovely smell
of fruit surrounding them. They whole-heartedly joined in the kick and
punch combination.
"All right, people," said Billy Blanks®, "that's enough for today!
Good work!"
The captains cheered along with everyone else. The other women in the
class, who had been eyeing the crew of the Hot Ship quite lustily during
the entire course of the class, rushed to them as soon as class was over.
Rachie and Emmy were forced to take drastic measures.
Taking up a huge foam Nerf bat each, the batted the women away,
shouting, "MY HOT CREW! MINE! NOT YOURS! KEEP YOUR FILTHY UNWORTHY HANDS
OFF!" while the crew made a run for the hall.
"Phew!" exclaimed Emily, as she and Rachael finally escaped the horde
of lusting women. (Er . . . that sounds weird, but you know what I meant,
right?)
"Thanks," said all the men, who were quite disheveled after that
fierce fight.
"Whew!" said Rach, sniffing her under arms, "I do believe I need
another shower!"
"I agree!" exclaimed Emily, "I worked up quite a sweat!"
"You were barely in that class for five minutes!" exclaimed Sinbad.
"Uh, yeah, but we worked hard, and plus we had to beat off all those
women for you!" exclaimed Rach.
"Ohh." the crew said, "That's right."
"Just try not to take so long this time, ok?" asked Elijah, "Those
creepy women staring at us all the time give me the heebie-jeebies!"
(Yes, he can see heebie-jeebies if he wants!)
"We'll try," said the girls doubtfully, "But the Garnier Fructis takes
so long to rinse out."
The men shrugged and hurried on to their Pilates class. They were very
immersed in the stretches and weird exercises of the Pilot. (That's who
invented Pilates, right?) Somehow, however, they couldn't fully
concentrate, especially as all the women in this class were also leering
lecherously at them. (If you've never done Pilates, you wouldn't know
that it requires you to twist and bend in positions that quite clearly
show "your stuff" as we say, to everyone who cares to look, especially if
you're clad in spandex.)
Just as the crew thought they were going to have to take serious
military and nautical action, when their captains arrived.
"Phew!" sighed the crew in relief. With just one "I-Will-Kick-Your-Ass-
If-You-So-Much-As-Think-About-Looking-At-My-Men-That-Way-Again-Or-Even-In-
Your-Wildest-Dreams-Try-And-Touch-Them" look, the other women were
cowering like little puppies during a thunderstorm, (I think that is the
most childish metaphor I have ever come up with. Apologies.) with their
eyes curiously averted.
The girls joined in for the last ten minutes, and afterwards, took up
their foam Nerf bats, just as a precaution, as they left.
"Whew, I am worn out!" cried Rachie.
"I totally agree," said Emmy, "What do you say to a shower and we head
back to the ship?"
"But you were barely in there!" exclaimed Johnny, "Besides Pilates
doesn't work up a sweat!"
"Yes," said Emily, seriously, "but do you have any idea the effort it
takes to conjure up a 'I-Will-Kick-Your-Ass-If-You-So-Much-As-Think-About-
Looking-At-My-Men-That-Way-Again-Or-Even-In-Your-Wildest-Dreams-Try-And-
Touch-Them' look on such short notice?"
The men thought, and then allowed that they didn't, and so everyone
ran off to their respective showers, although the captains were going to
try and sneak into the men's locker room, and they would have made it
too, if they weren't first frightened off by the sight of a nekked
(naked) old fat man, and they ran away screaming to their own shower
room.
An hour later, the men were all showered, dressed, and waiting outside
for the captains.
"Where are they?" said Arthur, tapping his foot, and looking at his
watch.
"They'll be here," reassured Dom.
"I know, but they're taking so long!"
Just then, the ladies emerged from their locker room, looking fabulous
and smelling great.
"Ah-" said Rachael, with satisfaction, "Nothing like a good shower to
sooth you after a hard day's exercise!"
"But you didn't even do that much!" exclaimed Pippin.
"And you took like eighteen showers!" added Aragorn.
"Yes, but doesn't my hair smell fabulous?" said Emily, as she and Rach
fluffed it so others could sniff. A dreamy and happy and lustful look
came over everyone's eyes, as they breathed in the intoxicating and
wonderful scent of Garnier Fructis.
"Yes!" they all breathed.
"And doesn't it make you want to ravage us like a bear? Only not so
harmful?" asked Rach.
"Yes!"
"Well, then," said Emily, with a grin, "Back to the boats!"
* * * * *
Authoress' Notes: Weeeeell, that was fun. Some of you may have guessed that the theme of this was from that Herbal Essences commercial, and you
would be correct. But it was fun, because I love Garnier Fructis, and I also think it's funny to think of some of the crew (like Sir Ian, Arthur and Pippin) in a Tae Bo or Pilates class. Also, I was just assuming that
the old men walk around naked in the men's locker room, because I know their female equivalents certainly feel like that's their right. Anyway,
I hope you enjoy! Love always!!
Planet, Amy Brown or any of her art work (well, technically, I do own a journal, but you know what I mean), Garnier or any of the products, Billy
Blanks, Tae Bo, Patricia Ribbon or her books, Herbal Essences, or Nerf Foam Bats or any additional Nerf Products. And if that gives you any clue
what this chapter is like, you're right. (Except for Treasure Planet,
which I just forget to mention from an earlier chapter!)
Chapter Six: A Short Chapter About the Importance of Personal Hygiene
As the crew and the captains were leaving the basketball court,
Rachael and Emily seemed to be considering something. After a moment,
they agreed, and turned the crew.
"Listen up, bébés," called Emmy, "We're feeling rather rank after all
that exertion, so we're going to freshen up with a shower. We'll meet you
later."
"OK," said Orly, "Aragorn insists we must try the Pilates class, but
first we're going to Tae Bo."
"We'll meet you there," said Rachael, "But right now we've got a date
with a bottle of Garnier Fructis!"
They rushed off to the girlies locker room (yes, that is what the sign
says, thanks!) to have their shower. Meanwhile, the crew went over to the
room where the Tae Bo class was held.
For an hour, they enjoyed an intense work-out with many punches,
kicks, and occasional visits from the Ghost of Christmas Past. (If you've
ever read "Why Girls Are Weird" by Pamela Ribbon, you know what I'm
talking about.) They were rather distracted by their above said intense
work-out to bother wondering where the captains were. But as they were
"taking a break" (by running in place), Sir Ian did begin to wonder where
the girls were. It had been about an hour, and taking a shower doesn't
take that long.
Finally, with five minutes left, the girls, still clad in jeans and
other such clothing, entered the room, with a distinct and lovely smell
of fruit surrounding them. They whole-heartedly joined in the kick and
punch combination.
"All right, people," said Billy Blanks®, "that's enough for today!
Good work!"
The captains cheered along with everyone else. The other women in the
class, who had been eyeing the crew of the Hot Ship quite lustily during
the entire course of the class, rushed to them as soon as class was over.
Rachie and Emmy were forced to take drastic measures.
Taking up a huge foam Nerf bat each, the batted the women away,
shouting, "MY HOT CREW! MINE! NOT YOURS! KEEP YOUR FILTHY UNWORTHY HANDS
OFF!" while the crew made a run for the hall.
"Phew!" exclaimed Emily, as she and Rachael finally escaped the horde
of lusting women. (Er . . . that sounds weird, but you know what I meant,
right?)
"Thanks," said all the men, who were quite disheveled after that
fierce fight.
"Whew!" said Rach, sniffing her under arms, "I do believe I need
another shower!"
"I agree!" exclaimed Emily, "I worked up quite a sweat!"
"You were barely in that class for five minutes!" exclaimed Sinbad.
"Uh, yeah, but we worked hard, and plus we had to beat off all those
women for you!" exclaimed Rach.
"Ohh." the crew said, "That's right."
"Just try not to take so long this time, ok?" asked Elijah, "Those
creepy women staring at us all the time give me the heebie-jeebies!"
(Yes, he can see heebie-jeebies if he wants!)
"We'll try," said the girls doubtfully, "But the Garnier Fructis takes
so long to rinse out."
The men shrugged and hurried on to their Pilates class. They were very
immersed in the stretches and weird exercises of the Pilot. (That's who
invented Pilates, right?) Somehow, however, they couldn't fully
concentrate, especially as all the women in this class were also leering
lecherously at them. (If you've never done Pilates, you wouldn't know
that it requires you to twist and bend in positions that quite clearly
show "your stuff" as we say, to everyone who cares to look, especially if
you're clad in spandex.)
Just as the crew thought they were going to have to take serious
military and nautical action, when their captains arrived.
"Phew!" sighed the crew in relief. With just one "I-Will-Kick-Your-Ass-
If-You-So-Much-As-Think-About-Looking-At-My-Men-That-Way-Again-Or-Even-In-
Your-Wildest-Dreams-Try-And-Touch-Them" look, the other women were
cowering like little puppies during a thunderstorm, (I think that is the
most childish metaphor I have ever come up with. Apologies.) with their
eyes curiously averted.
The girls joined in for the last ten minutes, and afterwards, took up
their foam Nerf bats, just as a precaution, as they left.
"Whew, I am worn out!" cried Rachie.
"I totally agree," said Emmy, "What do you say to a shower and we head
back to the ship?"
"But you were barely in there!" exclaimed Johnny, "Besides Pilates
doesn't work up a sweat!"
"Yes," said Emily, seriously, "but do you have any idea the effort it
takes to conjure up a 'I-Will-Kick-Your-Ass-If-You-So-Much-As-Think-About-
Looking-At-My-Men-That-Way-Again-Or-Even-In-Your-Wildest-Dreams-Try-And-
Touch-Them' look on such short notice?"
The men thought, and then allowed that they didn't, and so everyone
ran off to their respective showers, although the captains were going to
try and sneak into the men's locker room, and they would have made it
too, if they weren't first frightened off by the sight of a nekked
(naked) old fat man, and they ran away screaming to their own shower
room.
An hour later, the men were all showered, dressed, and waiting outside
for the captains.
"Where are they?" said Arthur, tapping his foot, and looking at his
watch.
"They'll be here," reassured Dom.
"I know, but they're taking so long!"
Just then, the ladies emerged from their locker room, looking fabulous
and smelling great.
"Ah-" said Rachael, with satisfaction, "Nothing like a good shower to
sooth you after a hard day's exercise!"
"But you didn't even do that much!" exclaimed Pippin.
"And you took like eighteen showers!" added Aragorn.
"Yes, but doesn't my hair smell fabulous?" said Emily, as she and Rach
fluffed it so others could sniff. A dreamy and happy and lustful look
came over everyone's eyes, as they breathed in the intoxicating and
wonderful scent of Garnier Fructis.
"Yes!" they all breathed.
"And doesn't it make you want to ravage us like a bear? Only not so
harmful?" asked Rach.
"Yes!"
"Well, then," said Emily, with a grin, "Back to the boats!"
* * * * *
Authoress' Notes: Weeeeell, that was fun. Some of you may have guessed that the theme of this was from that Herbal Essences commercial, and you
would be correct. But it was fun, because I love Garnier Fructis, and I also think it's funny to think of some of the crew (like Sir Ian, Arthur and Pippin) in a Tae Bo or Pilates class. Also, I was just assuming that
the old men walk around naked in the men's locker room, because I know their female equivalents certainly feel like that's their right. Anyway,
I hope you enjoy! Love always!!