Lard Nar had recovered from his 'pass out', but his eye sight had still been somewhat blurry and he had a huge headache in his supreme thick-brained mind. He read the sign again and again, but to only realize that these signs were on every 20 feet of cubic space. Talk about a waste of wood and paint!
"Planet.....EARTH?! What kind of a planet name is that?!? Sounds like something a vegetarian rat would eat!"
"Hey! Good old Lard-y Nar-ry back to his old, nitwit, hot tempered self!" Shloonktapooxis exclaimed.
"Thank the snack companies for that! I thought we were all gonna crash and die and our flesh would be torn apart and hanging all over the destroyed ship with dooky in our brains!" Spleenk said, forcing the horrific image on the blob member's mind, she vomited once again all over her gooey self, which actually sucks in the puke back inside her body, substantially vomiting the same stuff over and over again.
"You were so out there in space, literally!!!!"
Spleenk waved his arms around, mimicking the crazy acts of the Vortian. "You were almost on suicidal rage! I was about to knock you out and possibly kill you 'cause you acted so deranged!!!! Can I have some of that Red Bull stuff sometime?"
The group stood nearby a long, brick building with the word 'SKOOL' on top crudely written. A bunch of short, big headed peach skinned people came running out of the 'Skool' cheering. Some of them were actually stupid enough to jump out the windows. The other children were staring at the aliens and robots that stood and glared at them.
One blond girl pushes the crowd out of the way, most likely the leader of the Hip Pack and sneered "Hey, now whatcha look at that! I haven't seen those kinds of geeks in a while! It's like Halloween all over again! Or maybe it's some kind of dork convention! Ha, ha-ha!!!"
One of the kids was a boy with a sharp-looking hair black as the long, stylish trench coat he was wearing to match his tall black boots that stood on the dirt and grass that was apparently supposed to be the sidewalk. He had a look on his face that made him look clever and intelligent, along with lenses covering his huge eyeballs that added on to his 'Obsessive Fan Girls Hot Look'.
"See, I told you that aliens exist and that they'll come to Earth someday! See! And you all thought i was crazy! Beat that, you!" He pointed at a Swollen Eyeball Member that blended in perfectly well in a crowd of other cloaked tall figures walking in the distance.
The blond girl turned towards the boy's direction and pushed him over to a mud puddle, taunting him. "Oh, you idiot! Aliens and robots have always flown in and out of our walled-in city to borrow an Irken army ever since our great grandparents were born!" Lard Nar was baffled by the words of "an Irken army", and listened carefully to her.
"And they are more of them on the rest of Planet Earth, even if none of us hasn't gone beyond the city's walls. Our almighty, superior and tall leaders will make sure business will go as usual, including wiping your brain out someday! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Loser!"
"Whoa, wait a minute, did that girl just say that they're ruled by TALL leaders?!?" Lard Nar asked, but none of the Earthlings seemed to notice his confusion. But Shloonktapooxis remarkably had a simple, accurate explanation.
"Oh, dang! We were so distracted by the hyper-ness of our selves that they already took over the Universe!"
Spleenk wiped all of hands, making a job well done. "Oh well! No use for a rebellious army now! We did nothing to save the Universe and we'll still do the very thing we're best at...... Nothing! Come on, everybody! To the nachos and cheese whiz!!!"
They all cheered and ran off to the nearest Taco Bell while Lard Nar stood still, trying to rethink this through. "Fine! I'll do this whole resistance thing myself! I did most of the work with them around anyway! I don't need them! Especially that Hermly guy!"
His body shook all over at the thought of him. "I hope I won't ever be able to see him again, and I'll be real lucky if I found a way to repair the ship, defeat the Irkens and get to sit on that miracle piece of furniture before I die!!"
An ever so disturbing voice shouted right to the Vortian's hearing organ (whatever that could be). "Hey, Lard Nar!!!"
"ACCK! Who the hell are you?" And what do you know, the little Computer Storage Robot was there right behind him.
"Oh, Lard Nar, I was so desolated without you! The agonizing pain!" Hermly cried. "The tormenting terror! I was bored for so long that I had to be a dumb librarian all over again!"
Lard Nar shrugged.. "Great, it's you, out of all the beings here it had to be you!!" He had no good luck at all today. He mumbled to himself, "And I wish you kept your job as a librarian after I met you!"
"So.......How's life for you?!?" Hermly, giggling like a school girl, was so irritating that Lard Nar punched the eyeball lens down to the ground.
"None of your concern, you little creepy thing, but the Irken race has already taken over the Universe in just 3 hours or so, and I don't know how they would've done it so fast! This place is so mysterious, full of unanswered questions and surprises coming up to my face!"
"But you were gone away from me ever so very long that some of my circuits in here are breaking up! I can't control some of my functions anymore! But my love for your very dearest old self shall never break apart!!! Will--"
The Vortian was more confused now Hermly had said "ever so long" again. "But that's one of the odd things about it! A planet I've never heard of, and a species I've never seen tells me that the whole entire Universe has been ruled over and they're now obeying the Irken Empire!! "And it wasn't even that long---"
"Oh Lard Nar," Hermly interrupted Lard Nar for he interrupting him first. "It wasn't the first several hours that irritated me the most (even though those hours were sure painful and depressing!), it's been these past thousand years that has crushed my love filled soul!---"
"What?!?" Interrupting Hermly again. So rude these characters are! " A thousand years!? You mean I was so drunk from that red bull beverage that it drove me and my army so fast on the ship that we went a thousand years in the future?!" Lard Nar shook and strangled the Computer Robot down to the ground again.
But Hermly didn't mind. "Yep! And---"
"You've got to be kidding!" Laughing a bit, though I don't know why he felt like strangling Hermly. "Why would I believe such insanity and nonsense! Everybody knows the speed to travel at least one year in the future would be 2,000 miles per hour! And my ship can't even go 400 mph!"
"Have you seen the hover calendars lately? There's one right next to you right now!" He pointed to the blue one floating by the Vortian's big head, with a picture of the latest BMW hover-vehicle.
"It's the year 3003," It said, turning the picture into a smiling face with really huge teeth. " A palindrome year, believe it or else suffer the torture of the comfy chair!!!!!!" The hover calendar pulled out a gun and faced Lard Nar's eyes.
Lard Nar was even a little freaked by this, being surrounded by strange technology throughout his whole life. "Get away from me!"
Lard Nar pushes the calendar away from him, and Hermly starts purring and rubbing Lard Nar again. "Oh Lard Nar! I've planned this whole thing out as the years went by and ever since I landed on this planet, waiting for the perfect moment when you'll appear out of nowhere! Will---"
"How did you know I'll come back from the past and find you in the future?"
"--It happens ever so often these days. Now, as I was saying, if you lend me one of precious gray hands into this, I'll promise we'll change courses and fates in history, and go back to a time where you are considered an unforgettable hero, and be able to sit on the Universe's most comfortable couch for the rest of your life!"
Lard Nar smiled at this thought, and everyday since he was young, he had always thought of a moment similar to that. But he still was a bit against it, for it was Hermly who promised all of this, after all (quite pitiful, isn't it?).
"Sure! I'll go along with this plan as long as I can really be a hero! What's the request?"
He moved his right arm in front of Hermly and presented his hand. Hermly held it tightly with two of his spider legs.
"Lard Nar, Will you marry me????"
Lard Nar put on his 'WTF' look. "......AHHH!! UGH!!!" Squirming away from the robot. "Not even in a million years I'll be married to the most creepy and annoying computer mind I've ever met! You hadn't changed one bit! I'm leaving, I can find my own repair unit anywhere in this city!"
And the Vortian stormed off, at first marching away from Hermly, but for his own sake of it, sped up and literally flew out into the distance.
" But Lard Nar.....!"
~30 MINUTES LATER ~
The ship was perfectly fixed and modified to look like as though it had never met a dent before. All the members were in the ship, eating their nachos and writing on the walls with cheese whiz. Lard Nar was looking through the shiny window, seeing Irken balloons and Irken symbols everywhere. Whenever a Irken would pass by, someone else of a different species would bow down to the Irken and kiss the little Irk's feet. But Lard Nar wasn't thinking about the Universe.
"I can't believe I agreed to this! This is something beyond stupid of me to do! Maybe I've become a nit wit now....."
"AWW! Don't be sad, my dear old master! I'm gonna be happy for the rest of my life now! And maybe you'll be too, some night!" He twittered with a uneasy effect to it, even though he didn't meant to do so.
Lard Nar had the shaky feeling again. "Just keep this a secret, okay? But even if we do go back to my own time, wouldn't you disappear because the Hermly back then still exists and you can never mess around with space time continuum!"
'Yeah, I know!" He said, chortling. "So that's why I called up myself from a thousand years ago to tell me that I'm engaged to you! And you can never say no to true love!!"
Lard Nar was about to slap himself again, but he knew it just didn't hurt anymore and cursed to himself instead. " Stupid eternal marriage laws!"
The auto pilot started the ship, in time travel mode and the others watched through the window as the world around them changed and rewind itself back to the start (or the appropriate time period. Ours!). It was kind of slow, though, and even had background music to go with it!
Shloonktapooxis was having plenty of fun, as expected. "WOW! That was awesome! Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!"
"Well, now that we're back (and I proved Hermly wrong and he went kapoof in an instant! With no replacements!)," He said happily, laughing a sort of evil but yet cheerful chuckle. "We might as well explore the real Planet Earth, and see if there's anyone willing to join my army!"
"But this isn't really much of an army!" Spleenk pointed out
"That's right, which is why I got this," He puts on a Napoleon hat, covering his horns. "and this," He holds up a long, thin sword. " to make it look and feel that I'm-"
"The general!?!" Shlonnktapooxis guessed.
"No, captain!!" Lard Nar screamed out. "That's captain to you, BUDDY!!!"
" Oh, great! NOT AGAIN!" The one of the 3-Headed member/s said, running for it before the Captain gets drunk again.
~ YEAR 3003, OUTSIDE OF THE SKOOL, WHEN THE SHIP DEPARTS THIS EARTH ~
"NO!!!!" The boy with the jet black hair and huge eyeballs yelled out to the sky. " I might be somewhat insane and all, but that group of aliens just went to the past to save the world from the Irkens!!! They got it all wrong! That creepy computer hobo lied to that Vortian!"
How did he know all of this? Suspense, is what I leave it to you for!!
"Oh, this whole city is so backwards, why does it still exist? I could've stopped him from believing that bastard, but no, I had to sit there and watched their lives change entirely and making that Captain's life an irony!"
He sighed, deeply, and sat back into his mid puddle to think about the bright side of this issue.
"Well, at least he'll get to meet my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great ,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, their lives were both ironic anyway....."
"Planet.....EARTH?! What kind of a planet name is that?!? Sounds like something a vegetarian rat would eat!"
"Hey! Good old Lard-y Nar-ry back to his old, nitwit, hot tempered self!" Shloonktapooxis exclaimed.
"Thank the snack companies for that! I thought we were all gonna crash and die and our flesh would be torn apart and hanging all over the destroyed ship with dooky in our brains!" Spleenk said, forcing the horrific image on the blob member's mind, she vomited once again all over her gooey self, which actually sucks in the puke back inside her body, substantially vomiting the same stuff over and over again.
"You were so out there in space, literally!!!!"
Spleenk waved his arms around, mimicking the crazy acts of the Vortian. "You were almost on suicidal rage! I was about to knock you out and possibly kill you 'cause you acted so deranged!!!! Can I have some of that Red Bull stuff sometime?"
The group stood nearby a long, brick building with the word 'SKOOL' on top crudely written. A bunch of short, big headed peach skinned people came running out of the 'Skool' cheering. Some of them were actually stupid enough to jump out the windows. The other children were staring at the aliens and robots that stood and glared at them.
One blond girl pushes the crowd out of the way, most likely the leader of the Hip Pack and sneered "Hey, now whatcha look at that! I haven't seen those kinds of geeks in a while! It's like Halloween all over again! Or maybe it's some kind of dork convention! Ha, ha-ha!!!"
One of the kids was a boy with a sharp-looking hair black as the long, stylish trench coat he was wearing to match his tall black boots that stood on the dirt and grass that was apparently supposed to be the sidewalk. He had a look on his face that made him look clever and intelligent, along with lenses covering his huge eyeballs that added on to his 'Obsessive Fan Girls Hot Look'.
"See, I told you that aliens exist and that they'll come to Earth someday! See! And you all thought i was crazy! Beat that, you!" He pointed at a Swollen Eyeball Member that blended in perfectly well in a crowd of other cloaked tall figures walking in the distance.
The blond girl turned towards the boy's direction and pushed him over to a mud puddle, taunting him. "Oh, you idiot! Aliens and robots have always flown in and out of our walled-in city to borrow an Irken army ever since our great grandparents were born!" Lard Nar was baffled by the words of "an Irken army", and listened carefully to her.
"And they are more of them on the rest of Planet Earth, even if none of us hasn't gone beyond the city's walls. Our almighty, superior and tall leaders will make sure business will go as usual, including wiping your brain out someday! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Loser!"
"Whoa, wait a minute, did that girl just say that they're ruled by TALL leaders?!?" Lard Nar asked, but none of the Earthlings seemed to notice his confusion. But Shloonktapooxis remarkably had a simple, accurate explanation.
"Oh, dang! We were so distracted by the hyper-ness of our selves that they already took over the Universe!"
Spleenk wiped all of hands, making a job well done. "Oh well! No use for a rebellious army now! We did nothing to save the Universe and we'll still do the very thing we're best at...... Nothing! Come on, everybody! To the nachos and cheese whiz!!!"
They all cheered and ran off to the nearest Taco Bell while Lard Nar stood still, trying to rethink this through. "Fine! I'll do this whole resistance thing myself! I did most of the work with them around anyway! I don't need them! Especially that Hermly guy!"
His body shook all over at the thought of him. "I hope I won't ever be able to see him again, and I'll be real lucky if I found a way to repair the ship, defeat the Irkens and get to sit on that miracle piece of furniture before I die!!"
An ever so disturbing voice shouted right to the Vortian's hearing organ (whatever that could be). "Hey, Lard Nar!!!"
"ACCK! Who the hell are you?" And what do you know, the little Computer Storage Robot was there right behind him.
"Oh, Lard Nar, I was so desolated without you! The agonizing pain!" Hermly cried. "The tormenting terror! I was bored for so long that I had to be a dumb librarian all over again!"
Lard Nar shrugged.. "Great, it's you, out of all the beings here it had to be you!!" He had no good luck at all today. He mumbled to himself, "And I wish you kept your job as a librarian after I met you!"
"So.......How's life for you?!?" Hermly, giggling like a school girl, was so irritating that Lard Nar punched the eyeball lens down to the ground.
"None of your concern, you little creepy thing, but the Irken race has already taken over the Universe in just 3 hours or so, and I don't know how they would've done it so fast! This place is so mysterious, full of unanswered questions and surprises coming up to my face!"
"But you were gone away from me ever so very long that some of my circuits in here are breaking up! I can't control some of my functions anymore! But my love for your very dearest old self shall never break apart!!! Will--"
The Vortian was more confused now Hermly had said "ever so long" again. "But that's one of the odd things about it! A planet I've never heard of, and a species I've never seen tells me that the whole entire Universe has been ruled over and they're now obeying the Irken Empire!! "And it wasn't even that long---"
"Oh Lard Nar," Hermly interrupted Lard Nar for he interrupting him first. "It wasn't the first several hours that irritated me the most (even though those hours were sure painful and depressing!), it's been these past thousand years that has crushed my love filled soul!---"
"What?!?" Interrupting Hermly again. So rude these characters are! " A thousand years!? You mean I was so drunk from that red bull beverage that it drove me and my army so fast on the ship that we went a thousand years in the future?!" Lard Nar shook and strangled the Computer Robot down to the ground again.
But Hermly didn't mind. "Yep! And---"
"You've got to be kidding!" Laughing a bit, though I don't know why he felt like strangling Hermly. "Why would I believe such insanity and nonsense! Everybody knows the speed to travel at least one year in the future would be 2,000 miles per hour! And my ship can't even go 400 mph!"
"Have you seen the hover calendars lately? There's one right next to you right now!" He pointed to the blue one floating by the Vortian's big head, with a picture of the latest BMW hover-vehicle.
"It's the year 3003," It said, turning the picture into a smiling face with really huge teeth. " A palindrome year, believe it or else suffer the torture of the comfy chair!!!!!!" The hover calendar pulled out a gun and faced Lard Nar's eyes.
Lard Nar was even a little freaked by this, being surrounded by strange technology throughout his whole life. "Get away from me!"
Lard Nar pushes the calendar away from him, and Hermly starts purring and rubbing Lard Nar again. "Oh Lard Nar! I've planned this whole thing out as the years went by and ever since I landed on this planet, waiting for the perfect moment when you'll appear out of nowhere! Will---"
"How did you know I'll come back from the past and find you in the future?"
"--It happens ever so often these days. Now, as I was saying, if you lend me one of precious gray hands into this, I'll promise we'll change courses and fates in history, and go back to a time where you are considered an unforgettable hero, and be able to sit on the Universe's most comfortable couch for the rest of your life!"
Lard Nar smiled at this thought, and everyday since he was young, he had always thought of a moment similar to that. But he still was a bit against it, for it was Hermly who promised all of this, after all (quite pitiful, isn't it?).
"Sure! I'll go along with this plan as long as I can really be a hero! What's the request?"
He moved his right arm in front of Hermly and presented his hand. Hermly held it tightly with two of his spider legs.
"Lard Nar, Will you marry me????"
Lard Nar put on his 'WTF' look. "......AHHH!! UGH!!!" Squirming away from the robot. "Not even in a million years I'll be married to the most creepy and annoying computer mind I've ever met! You hadn't changed one bit! I'm leaving, I can find my own repair unit anywhere in this city!"
And the Vortian stormed off, at first marching away from Hermly, but for his own sake of it, sped up and literally flew out into the distance.
" But Lard Nar.....!"
~30 MINUTES LATER ~
The ship was perfectly fixed and modified to look like as though it had never met a dent before. All the members were in the ship, eating their nachos and writing on the walls with cheese whiz. Lard Nar was looking through the shiny window, seeing Irken balloons and Irken symbols everywhere. Whenever a Irken would pass by, someone else of a different species would bow down to the Irken and kiss the little Irk's feet. But Lard Nar wasn't thinking about the Universe.
"I can't believe I agreed to this! This is something beyond stupid of me to do! Maybe I've become a nit wit now....."
"AWW! Don't be sad, my dear old master! I'm gonna be happy for the rest of my life now! And maybe you'll be too, some night!" He twittered with a uneasy effect to it, even though he didn't meant to do so.
Lard Nar had the shaky feeling again. "Just keep this a secret, okay? But even if we do go back to my own time, wouldn't you disappear because the Hermly back then still exists and you can never mess around with space time continuum!"
'Yeah, I know!" He said, chortling. "So that's why I called up myself from a thousand years ago to tell me that I'm engaged to you! And you can never say no to true love!!"
Lard Nar was about to slap himself again, but he knew it just didn't hurt anymore and cursed to himself instead. " Stupid eternal marriage laws!"
The auto pilot started the ship, in time travel mode and the others watched through the window as the world around them changed and rewind itself back to the start (or the appropriate time period. Ours!). It was kind of slow, though, and even had background music to go with it!
Shloonktapooxis was having plenty of fun, as expected. "WOW! That was awesome! Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!"
"Well, now that we're back (and I proved Hermly wrong and he went kapoof in an instant! With no replacements!)," He said happily, laughing a sort of evil but yet cheerful chuckle. "We might as well explore the real Planet Earth, and see if there's anyone willing to join my army!"
"But this isn't really much of an army!" Spleenk pointed out
"That's right, which is why I got this," He puts on a Napoleon hat, covering his horns. "and this," He holds up a long, thin sword. " to make it look and feel that I'm-"
"The general!?!" Shlonnktapooxis guessed.
"No, captain!!" Lard Nar screamed out. "That's captain to you, BUDDY!!!"
" Oh, great! NOT AGAIN!" The one of the 3-Headed member/s said, running for it before the Captain gets drunk again.
~ YEAR 3003, OUTSIDE OF THE SKOOL, WHEN THE SHIP DEPARTS THIS EARTH ~
"NO!!!!" The boy with the jet black hair and huge eyeballs yelled out to the sky. " I might be somewhat insane and all, but that group of aliens just went to the past to save the world from the Irkens!!! They got it all wrong! That creepy computer hobo lied to that Vortian!"
How did he know all of this? Suspense, is what I leave it to you for!!
"Oh, this whole city is so backwards, why does it still exist? I could've stopped him from believing that bastard, but no, I had to sit there and watched their lives change entirely and making that Captain's life an irony!"
He sighed, deeply, and sat back into his mid puddle to think about the bright side of this issue.
"Well, at least he'll get to meet my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great ,great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, their lives were both ironic anyway....."