Just a Reminder: Here's a little quiz for ya'! Who owns all of the
characters who make up the Hot Ship's crew (and the various Muppets and
faerie journals mentioned)? Me My Pet Dog, Samuel (whom I lobe) My best friend Rachael (whom I likewise lobe) Not Me
As all you smart cookies know, the correct answer is D. I own only the
most crazy and stupid characters in this story, and the above named characters (and the new ones added in this chapter) are only hanging out
'cause they love me!
So on to the story.
Chapter Eight: The Attack of the Clones
It was a long, arduous time of it, trying to remove all the paint. All of the crew and all of the Yayas worked long and hard removing the paint, trying soap, water, cleaner, disinfectant and everything else they could think of, with only minor results.
Finally, they made Sir Ian dress up as Gandalf the White and use his magic to figure out how to clean the paint off the boat. The resulting product was several cans of "AntiPaint."
"Good work, Gandalf," said Emily, surveying the cans of AntiPaint.
"Can I go change now?" complained Sir Ian in the guise (*vocab word*) of Gandalf the White, "It's so hot in these robes!"
"Sure, hon," said Rachael, absentmindedly, helping Emily read the directions on the back of the AntiPaint cans.
"All right, everyone, go change into your oldest clothes, and report back. We're gonna wash this deck one last time!"
The crew cheered as they ran off. Washing the deck once is once thing, but five times in the past day? Not as fun. They were glad this would be the final time.
Meanwhile, the captains were debating on whether to send the prom dresses out to the cleaners, or to wash them with the AntiPaint.
"Let's try the AntiPaint first," decided Rachael, "and if that doesn't work, we'll send them out to the cleaners."
With that, they went to change into their serviceable whatevers. You see, everyone changed into their old clothes because they didn't want to risk getting any AntiPaint on them and thus removing any unnatural colour. (That is how the AntiPaint works.)
Then the crew spent a fun-filled afternoon washing the deck with the AntiPaint. For some random reason (most likely for the joy of the captains), the AntiPaint foamed up into large bubbles with made endless amounts of glee and bubble flinging for the afternoon. Finally they finished the entire deck, and it was back to its normal colour, and looking extraordinarily clean.
Rachael went off to wash the paint-splattered sails and the prom dresses in the remaining AntiPaint, with the help of Tama and Lan, while Emily and the crew hung new sails.
It wasn't until after they had finished their jobs, and they had changed back into their normal clothing (serviceable whatever for the crew, and bikinis, flip-flops, large hats and sunglasses for the captains and the Yayas) that they noticed the small sailboat heading in their direction.
"Oh no, not again!" exclaimed Emily, "We only just cleaned the deck!"
She and Rachael took off their large hats and sunglasses and walked over to the starboard side to peer at the boat approaching from the east.
"Someone bring me the Turban of Surban," ordered Emily. A few minutes later, Oliver approached with the Turban of Surban on a large pillow. The captains gave him looks of thanks, and then Rach put on the Turban.
"Well, they don't look unfriendly," she said, "What a minute, is that who I think it is?"
Emily took the Turban from her, and donned it. A minutes later, she spoke incredulous, "I think it is..."
Everyone saw the white flag waving from the boat, and Emily shrugged, saying, "Well, let's just wait to see what happens, shall we?"
So the crew waited until the boat was right up near the S.S. Claire. A voice spoke, saying, "Request permission to come aboard, captains!"
Emily and Rachael exchanged looks. Clearly, these people knew this ship had two captains, which was not exactly common knowledge.
"Permission granted," they shouted, finally.(After they counted to 3, though, because they had to make sure they shouted it together.
Then Johnny and Arthur let down a rope ladder. A few minutes later, men began climbing up to board the ship. To everyone's shock, it was indeed who Emily and Rachael thought it was.
For some weird reason, Èomer, Haldir, Legolas, Wesley (from the Princess Bride), and Frank Hopkins (from Hidalgo) were standing on the deck of the (appropriately nick-named) Hot Ship.
After Emily recovered from the initial shock, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Hang on a sec," said Èomer, holding up a hand, "There's one more coming. Why he couldn't come the normal way, I don't know," He added exasperated.
The other new hot men nodded their heads, agreeing. Just then a grappling hook flung itself over the side, hooked onto the rail. They heard sounds as if a man were trying to climb up the sides of the ship.
"Here he comes," sighed Èomer. A man climbed over the rail, and stood up, revealing himself to be wearing scuba-diving gear.
"All right, we can begin now," said Èomer, "I'm Èomer, and my friends and I have come to join your hot crew, if that's all right."
Emily and Rachael (as well as the Yayas and Sir Ian) eyed the crew hungrily.
"Of course it's all right," said Rachael, quickly.
"Well, let me introduce everyone," said Èomer, "This dolt over here is-"
The man interrupted, taking off his scuba diving hood, revealing brown hair and brown eyes. He walked over to the captains, saying in a low, sultry whisper, "Bond-James Bond," which sent thrills up their spines.
Èomer rolled his eyes, and continued, "As I said earlier, I am Èomer, to my left here is Haldir," (the Elf gave a regal bow) "and Wesley," (he too bowed) "Frank Hopkins," (a salute and a tip of his cowboy hat) "and finally, Leg-"
Emily and Rachael rushed over, clapping their hands to his mouth, stopping him from saying Legolas' name.
"Shhh," cautioned Rachael, "If you speak his name, every fan girl within a hundred miles will be here and once they discovered we've got the majority of the hot guys in the world- we'll never be free!"
Legolas blanched and Èomer nodded, "I understand. But what are we going to do? We can't just call him...'him' all the time!"
"True," agreed Emily, "Well, for now take him to our rooms and dress him up like a girl. That ought to confuse any fan girls that show up long enough for us to figure something out."
Lan hurried forward, eager to take on the job, but was stopped as Rachael hit her over the head with a sausage, and Emily commented, "No, not you, Lan, we'd never see him again. Tama, you go, and someone else go with her to make sure she doesn't get any ideas."
"You know," said Orlando (and I hope you've figured out by now that by "Orlando" I mean "Orlando Bloom playing Will Turner." Just making sure.) "He looks a lot like me."
"Yeah," said Aragorn, thoughtfully, walking over to Frank Tompkins, "And you look a lot like me."
"Funny you should mention that, Aragorn," said Arthur, taking a closer look at James Bond, "Because he looks exactly like me!"
James, clearly thinking Arthur was another rival spy, immediately took his grappling hook, swung it up and over the mast, grabbed Emily (who was squealing the whole time, but not totally out of horror), and, after swinging her over his shoulder, proceeded to climb up to his "Love Nest" (known to the normal folk as 'the Crow's Nest') and neither he nor Emily were seen for the rest of the evening.
Rachael, meanwhile, greeted the rest of the new crew, and turned her thoughts to helping Legolas, who had just returned from the captains' rooms, looking slightly disconcerted in his green prom dress, although his hair was lovely and curled.
"Well done, Tams," said Rachael, surveying Tamela's work, "I think even Emily would have been hard pressed to curl his hair better."
Tamela shrugged, as if to say, "I did my best."
Rachael appeared to be thinking about what to do for Legolas' plight, because as nice as he looked like that, he was indubitably more hot dressed as his normal elf-self. (Which, of course, was the problem in the first place.) Finally, she thought of something.
"Sir Ian-" she called, but before she could go on, he knew what she was going to say.
"I know, I know," he said exasperated, "I'll go dress up as Gandalf the White."
A few minutes later, he returned as Gandalf, and tried to come up with something to subdue Legolas' hotness enough to keep lusting fan-girls away. At last, he came up with a charm-like thing that would reduce his hot- radar enough that no fan girls would seek him out.
"Of course, if they happen to just come across him," explained Gandalf the White/Sir Ian, "I can't promise anything, but it should be good enough for when we're just out sailing."
"Jolly good," said Rachael, "Good work, Sir Ian!"
And with that, she walked off with him to give him a well-deserved thank you, for not only the charm, but also for the AntiPaint, and for all around smart- and cuteness.
About that time, Emily returned from her "spy escapades," in the crow's nest (which was henceforth called the "Crow's Love Nest") and as James Bond appeared to be busy, (he ran off to spy on stuff, and other bothersome activities) she took the new members of the crew under her wing, to "show them around the ship" and other things of such nature.
And Tama and Lan amused themselves with the remaining Hot Guys, and thus ends the Attack of the Clones.
* * * * *
AN: "The Attack of the Clones" is property of George Lucas.
characters who make up the Hot Ship's crew (and the various Muppets and
faerie journals mentioned)? Me My Pet Dog, Samuel (whom I lobe) My best friend Rachael (whom I likewise lobe) Not Me
As all you smart cookies know, the correct answer is D. I own only the
most crazy and stupid characters in this story, and the above named characters (and the new ones added in this chapter) are only hanging out
'cause they love me!
So on to the story.
Chapter Eight: The Attack of the Clones
It was a long, arduous time of it, trying to remove all the paint. All of the crew and all of the Yayas worked long and hard removing the paint, trying soap, water, cleaner, disinfectant and everything else they could think of, with only minor results.
Finally, they made Sir Ian dress up as Gandalf the White and use his magic to figure out how to clean the paint off the boat. The resulting product was several cans of "AntiPaint."
"Good work, Gandalf," said Emily, surveying the cans of AntiPaint.
"Can I go change now?" complained Sir Ian in the guise (*vocab word*) of Gandalf the White, "It's so hot in these robes!"
"Sure, hon," said Rachael, absentmindedly, helping Emily read the directions on the back of the AntiPaint cans.
"All right, everyone, go change into your oldest clothes, and report back. We're gonna wash this deck one last time!"
The crew cheered as they ran off. Washing the deck once is once thing, but five times in the past day? Not as fun. They were glad this would be the final time.
Meanwhile, the captains were debating on whether to send the prom dresses out to the cleaners, or to wash them with the AntiPaint.
"Let's try the AntiPaint first," decided Rachael, "and if that doesn't work, we'll send them out to the cleaners."
With that, they went to change into their serviceable whatevers. You see, everyone changed into their old clothes because they didn't want to risk getting any AntiPaint on them and thus removing any unnatural colour. (That is how the AntiPaint works.)
Then the crew spent a fun-filled afternoon washing the deck with the AntiPaint. For some random reason (most likely for the joy of the captains), the AntiPaint foamed up into large bubbles with made endless amounts of glee and bubble flinging for the afternoon. Finally they finished the entire deck, and it was back to its normal colour, and looking extraordinarily clean.
Rachael went off to wash the paint-splattered sails and the prom dresses in the remaining AntiPaint, with the help of Tama and Lan, while Emily and the crew hung new sails.
It wasn't until after they had finished their jobs, and they had changed back into their normal clothing (serviceable whatever for the crew, and bikinis, flip-flops, large hats and sunglasses for the captains and the Yayas) that they noticed the small sailboat heading in their direction.
"Oh no, not again!" exclaimed Emily, "We only just cleaned the deck!"
She and Rachael took off their large hats and sunglasses and walked over to the starboard side to peer at the boat approaching from the east.
"Someone bring me the Turban of Surban," ordered Emily. A few minutes later, Oliver approached with the Turban of Surban on a large pillow. The captains gave him looks of thanks, and then Rach put on the Turban.
"Well, they don't look unfriendly," she said, "What a minute, is that who I think it is?"
Emily took the Turban from her, and donned it. A minutes later, she spoke incredulous, "I think it is..."
Everyone saw the white flag waving from the boat, and Emily shrugged, saying, "Well, let's just wait to see what happens, shall we?"
So the crew waited until the boat was right up near the S.S. Claire. A voice spoke, saying, "Request permission to come aboard, captains!"
Emily and Rachael exchanged looks. Clearly, these people knew this ship had two captains, which was not exactly common knowledge.
"Permission granted," they shouted, finally.(After they counted to 3, though, because they had to make sure they shouted it together.
Then Johnny and Arthur let down a rope ladder. A few minutes later, men began climbing up to board the ship. To everyone's shock, it was indeed who Emily and Rachael thought it was.
For some weird reason, Èomer, Haldir, Legolas, Wesley (from the Princess Bride), and Frank Hopkins (from Hidalgo) were standing on the deck of the (appropriately nick-named) Hot Ship.
After Emily recovered from the initial shock, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Hang on a sec," said Èomer, holding up a hand, "There's one more coming. Why he couldn't come the normal way, I don't know," He added exasperated.
The other new hot men nodded their heads, agreeing. Just then a grappling hook flung itself over the side, hooked onto the rail. They heard sounds as if a man were trying to climb up the sides of the ship.
"Here he comes," sighed Èomer. A man climbed over the rail, and stood up, revealing himself to be wearing scuba-diving gear.
"All right, we can begin now," said Èomer, "I'm Èomer, and my friends and I have come to join your hot crew, if that's all right."
Emily and Rachael (as well as the Yayas and Sir Ian) eyed the crew hungrily.
"Of course it's all right," said Rachael, quickly.
"Well, let me introduce everyone," said Èomer, "This dolt over here is-"
The man interrupted, taking off his scuba diving hood, revealing brown hair and brown eyes. He walked over to the captains, saying in a low, sultry whisper, "Bond-James Bond," which sent thrills up their spines.
Èomer rolled his eyes, and continued, "As I said earlier, I am Èomer, to my left here is Haldir," (the Elf gave a regal bow) "and Wesley," (he too bowed) "Frank Hopkins," (a salute and a tip of his cowboy hat) "and finally, Leg-"
Emily and Rachael rushed over, clapping their hands to his mouth, stopping him from saying Legolas' name.
"Shhh," cautioned Rachael, "If you speak his name, every fan girl within a hundred miles will be here and once they discovered we've got the majority of the hot guys in the world- we'll never be free!"
Legolas blanched and Èomer nodded, "I understand. But what are we going to do? We can't just call him...'him' all the time!"
"True," agreed Emily, "Well, for now take him to our rooms and dress him up like a girl. That ought to confuse any fan girls that show up long enough for us to figure something out."
Lan hurried forward, eager to take on the job, but was stopped as Rachael hit her over the head with a sausage, and Emily commented, "No, not you, Lan, we'd never see him again. Tama, you go, and someone else go with her to make sure she doesn't get any ideas."
"You know," said Orlando (and I hope you've figured out by now that by "Orlando" I mean "Orlando Bloom playing Will Turner." Just making sure.) "He looks a lot like me."
"Yeah," said Aragorn, thoughtfully, walking over to Frank Tompkins, "And you look a lot like me."
"Funny you should mention that, Aragorn," said Arthur, taking a closer look at James Bond, "Because he looks exactly like me!"
James, clearly thinking Arthur was another rival spy, immediately took his grappling hook, swung it up and over the mast, grabbed Emily (who was squealing the whole time, but not totally out of horror), and, after swinging her over his shoulder, proceeded to climb up to his "Love Nest" (known to the normal folk as 'the Crow's Nest') and neither he nor Emily were seen for the rest of the evening.
Rachael, meanwhile, greeted the rest of the new crew, and turned her thoughts to helping Legolas, who had just returned from the captains' rooms, looking slightly disconcerted in his green prom dress, although his hair was lovely and curled.
"Well done, Tams," said Rachael, surveying Tamela's work, "I think even Emily would have been hard pressed to curl his hair better."
Tamela shrugged, as if to say, "I did my best."
Rachael appeared to be thinking about what to do for Legolas' plight, because as nice as he looked like that, he was indubitably more hot dressed as his normal elf-self. (Which, of course, was the problem in the first place.) Finally, she thought of something.
"Sir Ian-" she called, but before she could go on, he knew what she was going to say.
"I know, I know," he said exasperated, "I'll go dress up as Gandalf the White."
A few minutes later, he returned as Gandalf, and tried to come up with something to subdue Legolas' hotness enough to keep lusting fan-girls away. At last, he came up with a charm-like thing that would reduce his hot- radar enough that no fan girls would seek him out.
"Of course, if they happen to just come across him," explained Gandalf the White/Sir Ian, "I can't promise anything, but it should be good enough for when we're just out sailing."
"Jolly good," said Rachael, "Good work, Sir Ian!"
And with that, she walked off with him to give him a well-deserved thank you, for not only the charm, but also for the AntiPaint, and for all around smart- and cuteness.
About that time, Emily returned from her "spy escapades," in the crow's nest (which was henceforth called the "Crow's Love Nest") and as James Bond appeared to be busy, (he ran off to spy on stuff, and other bothersome activities) she took the new members of the crew under her wing, to "show them around the ship" and other things of such nature.
And Tama and Lan amused themselves with the remaining Hot Guys, and thus ends the Attack of the Clones.
* * * * *
AN: "The Attack of the Clones" is property of George Lucas.