You all, of course, know by now that I own none of the movie/book
characters or actors in these chapters, which includes National Geographic
and Chicago (the soundtrack, musical or movie or anything associated with
any of those).
Chapter Ten: The Cute Showdown
Rachael woke up a few days later not that she had slept the whole time or anything) quite well rested and happy as she always was when she woke up and found she was still on board the Hot Ship. She rose with a yawn, put on a new light urple bikini and a pair of PJ pants on over them, and stepped outside onto the deck.
It was a bright and happy sunshiny day. Rachael breathed in deeply and went in search of Emily.
"Ah-there you are!" called out Emily from her lawn chair, "I needed you! They try and they try-" gesturing to Haldir and Frank, who were seated at her feet, "but they don't do it as well as you. Haven't picked up the rhythm yet."
Rachael saw that Emily (wearing a pink bikini and crayon print PJ pants) was crocheting again and was clearly trying to have Frank and Haldir feed her the yarn (not literally, of course) as she needed it. Rachael sat complacently down and took her place as yarn-feeder.
They passed the rest of the morning pleasantly as such. In the meantime, those of the crew who were not on duty amused themselves accordingly. Orlando and Aragorn were deeply amerced in a conversations of dueling techniques with Wesley (who is probably the best swords person ever), and Johnny and Sinbad were also paying close attention. Everyone else was mixing drinks or reading the latest edition of National Geographic.
"Rachie, love, be a doll and go get some more light blue yarn?" asked Emily, as she had come to the end of the yarn in the blanket she was making for Dominic.
Rachael agreed and climbed up from her seat and walked over to a conveniently placed closet where they kept the yarn. She opened it and was about to grab the blue yarn and go when she saw something quite upsetting.
"Oh no," called out Rachael, "Emily, we have a problem."
Emily scurried over, and peered over Rach's shoulder.
"Oh no," she said, eyes narrowed, "Not another one."
Looking up from her little-over-three foot height, a cute little girl with glasses and short dark hair peered up at them. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. She smiled up at them shyly.
"Who are you?" asked Emily, sharply, which seemed rather uncalled for to the crew, after all the little girl was so cute.
"Well, ma'am, I'm Kelsey, Kelsey Jiles," said the girl or as we must call her now, Kelsey.
"Uh-huh," said Rachael, "And what are you doing here?"
"My lady!" called Ian, trying to get her to soften her tone.
"Well, ma'am, I'm just the cutest little girl in the whole-"
"Don't say it!" exclaimed Emily and Rachael in unison.
"Well, I am actually the cutest little girl in the whole entire universe, so-"
"She said it," said Rachael to Emily, with a sigh, and Emily nodded and walked off.
"I'll be right back," she called over her shoulder as she walked off into her bedroom.
The crew, Rachael, and Kelsey waited patiently, if not (on the parts of the crew and of Kelsey,) somewhat apprehensively. A few minutes later the sky went black and there was a loud crack as Emily reappeared floating overhead.
She was wearing a long white strapless dress trimmed in royal blue ribbon and a crown. She floated over head with her cloth-shawl-thingy blowing in the wind.
"KELSEY JILES!" called Emily in a deep, womanly voice.
Kelsey was cutely terrified, the crew was apprehensively (having gotten quite used to the captains and their antics by this time) frightened and Rachael stood there calmly, filing her nails as she waited.
"Er-um, who are you?" asked Kelsey timidly.
Rachael and the crew gasped in horror. Cute as she was, there is no excuse for not recognizing the-
"THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT RECOGNISING THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE!" said Emily A.K.A. The Queen of the Universe.
"Oh, sorry," said Kelsey.
Rachael and the crew gasped again. If, in some far off distant world, across the time-space continuum, it were acceptable or there were some excuse not to recognize The Queen of the Universe, it would still be horribly, horribly unheard of and thus punishable not to address the Queen accordingly.
"I WILL FORGIVE YOUR RATHER SERIOUS FAUX PA," said the Queen, "BUT I CANNOT FORGIVE YOUR BREAKING OF ONE OF THE UNIVERSAL LAWS!"
"I didn't break one of the Universal laws!" exclaimed Kelsey.
Emily looked to be rather angry, which, in her altered Queenly form, looked very formidable.
"HOW DARE YOU CONTRADICT THE QUEEN!" exclaimed Emily.
"Sorry."
"Call her 'your majesty,' if you have any hope of getting out unscathed," Rachael whispered to Kelsey. Kelsey, feeling properly chastised now, nodded, and tried again.
"I beg your pardon, your majesty; could you tell me what Universal Law I have allegedly broken?"
"NO!" said Emily, "BUT I CAN TELL YOU THE UNIVERSAL LAW YOU HAVE BROKEN! RACHAEL- THE RULE BOOK!"
Rachael calmly went into their cabin, and brought out a large, thick and neatly decorated book, properly titled: The Rule Book: The Rules and Laws of the Universe.
"READ."
"The Yayas are the only ones who can come to the gay porn party-"
"NO-not that one!" exclaimed Emily, sounding, for a moment, like her normal self.
Rachael rolled her eyes and flipped to another page, before continuing.
"The cutest girl in the Entire Universe in Lan T*** N*****, also known as Necie, Lansama or Skank. Any other claiming above said title must either by Lan a new hat in payment for above said breech of conduct and relinquish the false title OR enter into a Cute-Show Down with the current Cutest Girl in the Entire Universe, which does by the way include those territories across the time-space continuum."
Rachael finished reading and paused to take deep breaths to recover from the large chunk of reading. Sir Ian and Johnny brought her a glass of water while the Queen began speaking.
"NOW DO YOU SEE THE HORROR OF THIS CRIME?" asked Emily the Queen.
"Er, no, your majesty," said Kelsey, cutely.
Emily sighed, rolled her eyes, and floated down from her perch in mid- air to crouch over to look at Lan.
"Look, kid," said Emily, trying to be patient, "You've broken the rule and now you either have to say you're sorry and get Lan a new hat or prove your claim to the title. Got it?"
Kelsey nodded.
"So which will it be?"
"Well, I am the cutest girl in the entire universe," began Kelsey, before Rachael corrected her.
"The Entire Universe," she said. Kelsey nodded.
"So you are challenging Lansama?" asked Emily.
Kelsey nodded again. "Very well," Emily stood up, walked over to where she could be seen clearly by all and she then bellowed in a deep, bellowing voice, (accompanied by flashing lightning and deep rumbling thunder in the ominously dark background), "LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!"
* * * * *
An hour later, there was an arena set up on the deck, with a section marked off for each of the competitors. There was a large crowd (consisting of the thoroughly befuddled and yet amused crew, family and friends of anyone there, and Members of the Court of the House of Emily Also-Known-As The Court of the Universe. Wanna apply?...email me!) gathered on the bleachers flanking the arena. Emily sat at one end of the arena on a throne, attended by Rachael, Dominic, Pippin and Èomer.
At a symbol from Legolas (who was lurking nervously in the shadows, nervous at the presence of so many fan-girls, even though Emily had assured him that anyone attempting to skank him would be suitably punished on the basis of several Universe laws), Emily stood and the crowd went silent.
"MY PEOPLE-" she said, before being interrupted by Wesley whirling around to look for Prince Humperdink, as that sounded remarkably like how he starts his speech announcing his betrothal to Buttercup. After his discovered Humperdink was indeed not there, he settled down. Emily and Rachael just then thought of something.
"Uh, what happened to Buttercup?" asked Rachael, "I thought that was true love and all."
"Yeah, so did I," said Wesley, kind of nonchalantly, "But I guess we were wrong, 'cause she ran off with some Sean Penn guy."
"Skank," said Emily and Rachael, shaking their heads as they considered. Then Emily continued.
"MY PEOPLE, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY-" she paused, hoping no one would confuse this with a wedding ceremony "-TO JUDGE UPON THE FACTOR OF CUTENESS. WHO INDEED IS THE CUTEST GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE? IS IT THE REIGNING CHAMP, LANSAMA? OR THE NEW CHALLENGER KELSEY JILES? YOU BE THE JUDGE!"
Emily went on to explain the rules and how it would be the best of three rounds unless someone did something so undeniably CUTE that no one could stand it, in which case the title would be immediately surrendered to that person. Then she presented the challenger.
"AT THREE FOOR SIX, WE HAVE THE NEW REALLY SMART NINE-YEAR OLD-"
She paused thinking, and then signaled to Eric Chumbler (her fiancé) to come out and do the announcing that he does so well, but keeping him away from the challenger.
"Goooooooooooood evening everyone and welcome to the Good Ship, the S.S. Claire (also known as the Hot Ship), for the first annual Cute Show- down. Your challenger tonight stands three foot six, is really smart and thinks she's really cute. I give you Keeeeeeeeeeeeeelsey Jiiiiiiiiiiles!"
Kelsey ran out, looking cute in her sky boots and carrying her purse, accompanied by her coach, Mrs. Wear, looking bright, perky, and full of Lone Oak Purple Flash Spirit. Kelsey took a seat and Eric continued announcing.
"AND NOW, your reigning champion, who at 18, stands four foot five on a tall day, is small but carries a lot of rage and is SO Bohemian, I gave you LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY!"
Lan ran out, followed by Tamela, her coach (who was trying to keep her nanas under control). The crowd went wild. Lan followed correct protocol by first curtseying to the Queen of the Universe, and her Yayas, then the announcer, and then the crowd. She pulled a face at Kelsey, looking adorably cute as she did so. Then, she walked over to her stool, where Legolas gave her a kiss (on the cheek) for good luck.
"AND NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"
"Wait, Eric, say it," cajoled Emily and Rachael. Eric looked kind of embarrassed. Emily continued wheedling him as the crew got kind of jealous. Finally, Chumbler complied.
"AND NOW, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICHARD WAAAAAAAAALTER!"
Richard Walter walked out really quickly in his basketball gear and then walked off, looking confused. Emily and Rachael settled back in their chairs, making seductive faces and blowing kisses at the crew members so they wouldn't get too jealous. Then Emily signaled to Pippin who hit the gong that symbolized the beginning of the round.
WA-GONG!
Kelsey, as the challenger, took the arena first, while Mrs. Wear cheered in the background. Grabbing the microphone from Eric, she began berating people for not standing up and participating. Finally, Emily had to remind her that this was NOT a pep rally and that she (as the Queen) was in charge here and that she would berate people as she saw fit. Then the competition began.
Kelsey first displayed her cuteness by throwing free-throws from two feet past the free-throw line. She made all but one of them, and the crowd "awed" in appreciation.
"Well, duh, she's like a foot away from the goal! Even we could make them!" whispered Rachael to Emily.
Emily, as Queen, was not supposed to biased, but hey, Rachael had a point, and besides, Lan was her blood sister. What would you think?
Now it was Lanny's turn. Tamela wheeled out a desk with a computer on it, looking suspiciously like the one Lan used at school in the Newspaper room. Lan walked out and took her seat. Even just sitting there designing the front page, Lan looked extraordinarily cute. But it got better.
Soon a phone rang. Tamela walked over to answer it, and after listening, covered the receiver with her hand, as whispered to Lan (so everyone could hear):
"LAN! It's Pain Management Co.! They want to buy an add!"
Lan, looking super excited and super cute, ran over to the phone, and listened for a few seconds. Then she realized who it was.
"CHUMBLER!" she yelled, running over to beat him up. Even in her wild rage, she was the cutest thing anyone had ever seen. Meanwhile, Kelsey realized that she truly had some stiff competition here. It was time for drastic measures.
She walked out with confidence. All of the sudden, she was in the middle of a field of wild flowers, holding a baby bunny and just sitting there blinking her large eyes.
The affect was undeniably cuter than even Lan's rage.
The Yayas were quite upset-Tamela was wringing the towel anxiously, trying to think of what to do next, Rachael was peering anxiously at Emily, who was honestly wondering if she needed to change the rules so Lan could win. Lanny, however, looked perfectly calm as she took her place.
She had no props, no assistance or anything to help her cause. Instead, she locked her hands behind her back, looked up towards heaven and began singing "Now-A-Days" from Chicago. Everyone listened in rapt concentration and joy as she sang the whole song. Then...
Silence.
Then thunderous applause and cries of "She's SOOOOO cute!" rang from every corner of the ship. Even Kelsey could not deny that the performance she had just seen was given by the Cutest Girl in the Entire Universe.
She knelt before Lan, relinquishing her claim and asking for forgiveness.
Lan laughed a little, then said, "It's OK. Just buy me a really cute hat. My old one was shot."
And all God's creatures rejoiced in loud uproarious cheers, the Captains made (like it was really hard) the Yayas stay the night, and everyone took their favourite crew members into their love boudoirs and had their way with them, or the crew had their way with them...or something. At any rate, someone's way was had and everyone was happy and joyous.
And the whole while, the ship sailed closer and closer to France...
* * * * * Authoress' Notes: Heehee, that was fun as always! Thanks to Lan herself for reviewing, as you can see, I fixed your hat situation and you got a kiss for Legolas, so haha-di-haha. Congrats again on your acceptance letter! To
everyone else, I hope you enjoyed! Sorry it took me so long to update!!
Please review! More soon, I promise!
Lots of Love, As Always!
-emily- P.S. Lan, I wasn't exactly sure how tall you were, so I guessed. Hope I was
close.
Chapter Ten: The Cute Showdown
Rachael woke up a few days later not that she had slept the whole time or anything) quite well rested and happy as she always was when she woke up and found she was still on board the Hot Ship. She rose with a yawn, put on a new light urple bikini and a pair of PJ pants on over them, and stepped outside onto the deck.
It was a bright and happy sunshiny day. Rachael breathed in deeply and went in search of Emily.
"Ah-there you are!" called out Emily from her lawn chair, "I needed you! They try and they try-" gesturing to Haldir and Frank, who were seated at her feet, "but they don't do it as well as you. Haven't picked up the rhythm yet."
Rachael saw that Emily (wearing a pink bikini and crayon print PJ pants) was crocheting again and was clearly trying to have Frank and Haldir feed her the yarn (not literally, of course) as she needed it. Rachael sat complacently down and took her place as yarn-feeder.
They passed the rest of the morning pleasantly as such. In the meantime, those of the crew who were not on duty amused themselves accordingly. Orlando and Aragorn were deeply amerced in a conversations of dueling techniques with Wesley (who is probably the best swords person ever), and Johnny and Sinbad were also paying close attention. Everyone else was mixing drinks or reading the latest edition of National Geographic.
"Rachie, love, be a doll and go get some more light blue yarn?" asked Emily, as she had come to the end of the yarn in the blanket she was making for Dominic.
Rachael agreed and climbed up from her seat and walked over to a conveniently placed closet where they kept the yarn. She opened it and was about to grab the blue yarn and go when she saw something quite upsetting.
"Oh no," called out Rachael, "Emily, we have a problem."
Emily scurried over, and peered over Rach's shoulder.
"Oh no," she said, eyes narrowed, "Not another one."
Looking up from her little-over-three foot height, a cute little girl with glasses and short dark hair peered up at them. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. She smiled up at them shyly.
"Who are you?" asked Emily, sharply, which seemed rather uncalled for to the crew, after all the little girl was so cute.
"Well, ma'am, I'm Kelsey, Kelsey Jiles," said the girl or as we must call her now, Kelsey.
"Uh-huh," said Rachael, "And what are you doing here?"
"My lady!" called Ian, trying to get her to soften her tone.
"Well, ma'am, I'm just the cutest little girl in the whole-"
"Don't say it!" exclaimed Emily and Rachael in unison.
"Well, I am actually the cutest little girl in the whole entire universe, so-"
"She said it," said Rachael to Emily, with a sigh, and Emily nodded and walked off.
"I'll be right back," she called over her shoulder as she walked off into her bedroom.
The crew, Rachael, and Kelsey waited patiently, if not (on the parts of the crew and of Kelsey,) somewhat apprehensively. A few minutes later the sky went black and there was a loud crack as Emily reappeared floating overhead.
She was wearing a long white strapless dress trimmed in royal blue ribbon and a crown. She floated over head with her cloth-shawl-thingy blowing in the wind.
"KELSEY JILES!" called Emily in a deep, womanly voice.
Kelsey was cutely terrified, the crew was apprehensively (having gotten quite used to the captains and their antics by this time) frightened and Rachael stood there calmly, filing her nails as she waited.
"Er-um, who are you?" asked Kelsey timidly.
Rachael and the crew gasped in horror. Cute as she was, there is no excuse for not recognizing the-
"THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT RECOGNISING THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE!" said Emily A.K.A. The Queen of the Universe.
"Oh, sorry," said Kelsey.
Rachael and the crew gasped again. If, in some far off distant world, across the time-space continuum, it were acceptable or there were some excuse not to recognize The Queen of the Universe, it would still be horribly, horribly unheard of and thus punishable not to address the Queen accordingly.
"I WILL FORGIVE YOUR RATHER SERIOUS FAUX PA," said the Queen, "BUT I CANNOT FORGIVE YOUR BREAKING OF ONE OF THE UNIVERSAL LAWS!"
"I didn't break one of the Universal laws!" exclaimed Kelsey.
Emily looked to be rather angry, which, in her altered Queenly form, looked very formidable.
"HOW DARE YOU CONTRADICT THE QUEEN!" exclaimed Emily.
"Sorry."
"Call her 'your majesty,' if you have any hope of getting out unscathed," Rachael whispered to Kelsey. Kelsey, feeling properly chastised now, nodded, and tried again.
"I beg your pardon, your majesty; could you tell me what Universal Law I have allegedly broken?"
"NO!" said Emily, "BUT I CAN TELL YOU THE UNIVERSAL LAW YOU HAVE BROKEN! RACHAEL- THE RULE BOOK!"
Rachael calmly went into their cabin, and brought out a large, thick and neatly decorated book, properly titled: The Rule Book: The Rules and Laws of the Universe.
"READ."
"The Yayas are the only ones who can come to the gay porn party-"
"NO-not that one!" exclaimed Emily, sounding, for a moment, like her normal self.
Rachael rolled her eyes and flipped to another page, before continuing.
"The cutest girl in the Entire Universe in Lan T*** N*****, also known as Necie, Lansama or Skank. Any other claiming above said title must either by Lan a new hat in payment for above said breech of conduct and relinquish the false title OR enter into a Cute-Show Down with the current Cutest Girl in the Entire Universe, which does by the way include those territories across the time-space continuum."
Rachael finished reading and paused to take deep breaths to recover from the large chunk of reading. Sir Ian and Johnny brought her a glass of water while the Queen began speaking.
"NOW DO YOU SEE THE HORROR OF THIS CRIME?" asked Emily the Queen.
"Er, no, your majesty," said Kelsey, cutely.
Emily sighed, rolled her eyes, and floated down from her perch in mid- air to crouch over to look at Lan.
"Look, kid," said Emily, trying to be patient, "You've broken the rule and now you either have to say you're sorry and get Lan a new hat or prove your claim to the title. Got it?"
Kelsey nodded.
"So which will it be?"
"Well, I am the cutest girl in the entire universe," began Kelsey, before Rachael corrected her.
"The Entire Universe," she said. Kelsey nodded.
"So you are challenging Lansama?" asked Emily.
Kelsey nodded again. "Very well," Emily stood up, walked over to where she could be seen clearly by all and she then bellowed in a deep, bellowing voice, (accompanied by flashing lightning and deep rumbling thunder in the ominously dark background), "LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!"
* * * * *
An hour later, there was an arena set up on the deck, with a section marked off for each of the competitors. There was a large crowd (consisting of the thoroughly befuddled and yet amused crew, family and friends of anyone there, and Members of the Court of the House of Emily Also-Known-As The Court of the Universe. Wanna apply?...email me!) gathered on the bleachers flanking the arena. Emily sat at one end of the arena on a throne, attended by Rachael, Dominic, Pippin and Èomer.
At a symbol from Legolas (who was lurking nervously in the shadows, nervous at the presence of so many fan-girls, even though Emily had assured him that anyone attempting to skank him would be suitably punished on the basis of several Universe laws), Emily stood and the crowd went silent.
"MY PEOPLE-" she said, before being interrupted by Wesley whirling around to look for Prince Humperdink, as that sounded remarkably like how he starts his speech announcing his betrothal to Buttercup. After his discovered Humperdink was indeed not there, he settled down. Emily and Rachael just then thought of something.
"Uh, what happened to Buttercup?" asked Rachael, "I thought that was true love and all."
"Yeah, so did I," said Wesley, kind of nonchalantly, "But I guess we were wrong, 'cause she ran off with some Sean Penn guy."
"Skank," said Emily and Rachael, shaking their heads as they considered. Then Emily continued.
"MY PEOPLE, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY-" she paused, hoping no one would confuse this with a wedding ceremony "-TO JUDGE UPON THE FACTOR OF CUTENESS. WHO INDEED IS THE CUTEST GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE? IS IT THE REIGNING CHAMP, LANSAMA? OR THE NEW CHALLENGER KELSEY JILES? YOU BE THE JUDGE!"
Emily went on to explain the rules and how it would be the best of three rounds unless someone did something so undeniably CUTE that no one could stand it, in which case the title would be immediately surrendered to that person. Then she presented the challenger.
"AT THREE FOOR SIX, WE HAVE THE NEW REALLY SMART NINE-YEAR OLD-"
She paused thinking, and then signaled to Eric Chumbler (her fiancé) to come out and do the announcing that he does so well, but keeping him away from the challenger.
"Goooooooooooood evening everyone and welcome to the Good Ship, the S.S. Claire (also known as the Hot Ship), for the first annual Cute Show- down. Your challenger tonight stands three foot six, is really smart and thinks she's really cute. I give you Keeeeeeeeeeeeeelsey Jiiiiiiiiiiles!"
Kelsey ran out, looking cute in her sky boots and carrying her purse, accompanied by her coach, Mrs. Wear, looking bright, perky, and full of Lone Oak Purple Flash Spirit. Kelsey took a seat and Eric continued announcing.
"AND NOW, your reigning champion, who at 18, stands four foot five on a tall day, is small but carries a lot of rage and is SO Bohemian, I gave you LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANY!"
Lan ran out, followed by Tamela, her coach (who was trying to keep her nanas under control). The crowd went wild. Lan followed correct protocol by first curtseying to the Queen of the Universe, and her Yayas, then the announcer, and then the crowd. She pulled a face at Kelsey, looking adorably cute as she did so. Then, she walked over to her stool, where Legolas gave her a kiss (on the cheek) for good luck.
"AND NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN!"
"Wait, Eric, say it," cajoled Emily and Rachael. Eric looked kind of embarrassed. Emily continued wheedling him as the crew got kind of jealous. Finally, Chumbler complied.
"AND NOW, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRICHARD WAAAAAAAAALTER!"
Richard Walter walked out really quickly in his basketball gear and then walked off, looking confused. Emily and Rachael settled back in their chairs, making seductive faces and blowing kisses at the crew members so they wouldn't get too jealous. Then Emily signaled to Pippin who hit the gong that symbolized the beginning of the round.
WA-GONG!
Kelsey, as the challenger, took the arena first, while Mrs. Wear cheered in the background. Grabbing the microphone from Eric, she began berating people for not standing up and participating. Finally, Emily had to remind her that this was NOT a pep rally and that she (as the Queen) was in charge here and that she would berate people as she saw fit. Then the competition began.
Kelsey first displayed her cuteness by throwing free-throws from two feet past the free-throw line. She made all but one of them, and the crowd "awed" in appreciation.
"Well, duh, she's like a foot away from the goal! Even we could make them!" whispered Rachael to Emily.
Emily, as Queen, was not supposed to biased, but hey, Rachael had a point, and besides, Lan was her blood sister. What would you think?
Now it was Lanny's turn. Tamela wheeled out a desk with a computer on it, looking suspiciously like the one Lan used at school in the Newspaper room. Lan walked out and took her seat. Even just sitting there designing the front page, Lan looked extraordinarily cute. But it got better.
Soon a phone rang. Tamela walked over to answer it, and after listening, covered the receiver with her hand, as whispered to Lan (so everyone could hear):
"LAN! It's Pain Management Co.! They want to buy an add!"
Lan, looking super excited and super cute, ran over to the phone, and listened for a few seconds. Then she realized who it was.
"CHUMBLER!" she yelled, running over to beat him up. Even in her wild rage, she was the cutest thing anyone had ever seen. Meanwhile, Kelsey realized that she truly had some stiff competition here. It was time for drastic measures.
She walked out with confidence. All of the sudden, she was in the middle of a field of wild flowers, holding a baby bunny and just sitting there blinking her large eyes.
The affect was undeniably cuter than even Lan's rage.
The Yayas were quite upset-Tamela was wringing the towel anxiously, trying to think of what to do next, Rachael was peering anxiously at Emily, who was honestly wondering if she needed to change the rules so Lan could win. Lanny, however, looked perfectly calm as she took her place.
She had no props, no assistance or anything to help her cause. Instead, she locked her hands behind her back, looked up towards heaven and began singing "Now-A-Days" from Chicago. Everyone listened in rapt concentration and joy as she sang the whole song. Then...
Silence.
Then thunderous applause and cries of "She's SOOOOO cute!" rang from every corner of the ship. Even Kelsey could not deny that the performance she had just seen was given by the Cutest Girl in the Entire Universe.
She knelt before Lan, relinquishing her claim and asking for forgiveness.
Lan laughed a little, then said, "It's OK. Just buy me a really cute hat. My old one was shot."
And all God's creatures rejoiced in loud uproarious cheers, the Captains made (like it was really hard) the Yayas stay the night, and everyone took their favourite crew members into their love boudoirs and had their way with them, or the crew had their way with them...or something. At any rate, someone's way was had and everyone was happy and joyous.
And the whole while, the ship sailed closer and closer to France...
* * * * * Authoress' Notes: Heehee, that was fun as always! Thanks to Lan herself for reviewing, as you can see, I fixed your hat situation and you got a kiss for Legolas, so haha-di-haha. Congrats again on your acceptance letter! To
everyone else, I hope you enjoyed! Sorry it took me so long to update!!
Please review! More soon, I promise!
Lots of Love, As Always!
-emily- P.S. Lan, I wasn't exactly sure how tall you were, so I guessed. Hope I was
close.