Hello again! Well, here's yet another chapter. I've decided to make all the chapters from now on a bit longer, because I realized the others are freakishly short! Heh. This one is exceptionally long, though...I'm not sure why...maybe to make up for the other smaller ones. Plus, this is sort of an important chapter, anyway. So, enjoy it!! BBBIIIGGGG hugs to everyone who reviewed, it makes my day, really it does. *dance dance* I'd throw a big L/J shipper party for everyone who reviewed if I could, but alas...it would be quite difficult. Anyway, I really, really hope you all like this chapter, and please, please, please review! :-D

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In the weeks to come, Jean had kept her promise to Logan, no matter how tough or ridiculous things became with Scott being back and the rest of the X-Men and all the students filling the mansion. It was hard, she admitted, not to declare the whole thing a mistake and to never speak about it again.
Scott was perfect. He was sweet, charming, handsome, loving, strong and sensitive all at the same time. He and Jean had been together since they had first arrived at the school. Jean truly loved him and felt that she would rather kill herself and break his heart...but Logan seemed to make Scott fade away whenever Jean was with him.
The love she and Scott had shared for so long was strong, but subtle and almost mechanic, almost automatic. It had just always been there, something for the both of them to lean back on when necessary. The love that Jean had always dreamed about was not what she and Scott had, but what she and Logan now had. Always surprising, untamable, ever-growing, wild, passionate...that rare thing that made you thank God everyday for what you have, for your past, for your present, for your future...for your life.
The intense force that was Jean and Logan's affair was what she had always wanted, craved for, and when compared to she and Scott's little support system...that was when Jean laughed silently to herself, shaking her head, and let that wave of relief and bliss spill over her.
Logan knew, and accepted, that even now Jean still loved Scott, still shared a part of herself with him, no matter how much either of them wished she wouldn't. But he also loved her, and he was too afraid to loose her so he never let her finish when she began talking to him about how they were going to keep this going without Scott finding out, or how they would break it to him when the time came, or if maybe one day this would have to end. It broke Logan's heart whenever she looked at him, concerned tears filling her eyes, telling him that she didn't want to do this to him, that she didn't want to hurt him or to make him jealous.
It was always his fingers reaching up to softly hush her and to wipe away any stray tears, murmuring that none of that mattered. Jean would smile slightly and nod at the certainty in his voice, leaning in for a deep kiss. It was these moments that all the tears, frustration and confusion melted away.

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"Can ya' smell that fresh ocean air?" Logan yelled to no one in particular as they drew nearer and nearer to the coast.
Jean grinned.
"How long until we actually get there?" she asked sarcastically.
"Aw, c'mon Jean! Ride's half the fun..." he grinned back.
The scenery lining the road had begun to change from that orange wasteland to slightly greener with scattered palm trees. The air indeed smelled fresher, saltier, and Jean could imagine the ocean being just around the bend as the air became dense and heavy with moisture.
"Damn, I'm thirsty," Logan declared suddenly. "It's all the salt in the air. Get me somethin' good outta the back, would ya' darlin'?"
Jean lifted her head from his shoulder and turned around, the upper half of her body buried deep in the back-seat as she searched for the cooler. When she reemerged and flopped back beside Logan, she had two bottles clutched in her fist. She smiled and held one out to Logan, who took it, but frowned as he glanced at the label.
"Cranberry Oceanspray?" he asked, sounding put-out.
Jean laughed and looked to Logan pointedly.
"No open bottles of alcohol allowed inside moving vehicles in the state of California. What did you expect? Me to bring a six pack of Budweiser along and get pulled over?"
Logan laughed out loud.
"Pulled over by who?" He gestured around the barren landscape.
"Better safe than sorry, sweetheart." Jean chimed sweetly. "Drink up!"

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The group had checked into a hotel in the heart of San Diego a week ago. Scott and Jean, of course, were sharing a hotel room and Xavier had gotten he and Logan separate rooms, joking that he didn't want another nightmare berserker attack Marie-style like that of so many months ago back at the mansion.
For seven days, the schedule had been basically the same. Jean would wake up briefly when Scott woke to go with the Professor early in the mornings, give him a small kiss and tell him to have a good day and stay safe. She'd go back to sleep for an hour or two, then meet Logan in the lobby for breakfast. From then until dinner time, the two were free to do whatever their hearts desired.
Two or three days out of that week they went out to the swimming pool for a little fresh air and exercise. Jean would soak in the sun by the pool while Logan got the exercise, swimming around and doing cannon-balls off the diving board. They would always talk during these times, because the area was almost always completely deserted. They talked about anything, everything.
Jean had discovered some very handy information during these little chats, such as Logan preferred boxers to briefs and that he was allergic to raisins...and she had also learned about one terribly embarrassing event back at the school in which Ororo had walked into the bathroom one morning only to find a sopping wet Logan just stepping out of the shower, humming an old Rolling Stones tune. Logan himself had found out his own share of interesting information about Jean that could definitely provoke a gaping mouth if he were to tell anyone at the mansion.

She had blurted out to him that when she and Scott were students at the school, they had snuck out one summer at midnight with a few other younger friends to go skinny dipping in the outside hot tub, and had gotten quite a shock when a telepathic message had suddenly flashed in her mind from the Professor-

'' Tsk, tsk, Miss Grey. You're not setting a very good example for the younger students. Kindly put your clothes back on and pass this message along to Mr. Summers...''


Jean had turned a shade of flushed red and clapped her hands to her mouth after she had told Logan, who was busy getting a kick out of the thought of Jean's face, and of old Cyke trying to be rebellious...

At one point on one of these hot days by the pool, Jean was going off on some boring story about her class and how obnoxious they had become during final exams. Logan took the opportunity to tiptoe out of the pool, dripping wet, and over to Jean who lay relaxed and sprawled out on a lounging chair. Her eyes were closed beneath her sunglasses and he pounced on her, making her stop mid-sentence and shriek with surprise. Picking her up in his arms, his muscles flexing wildly as she flailed about yelling his name in a mock-serious tone, he threw her out into the cool blue water.
Jean came up sputtering at first, then quickly she stripped and threw her sopping wet tank top to the side of the pool beside the stray sunglasses that had fallen off in the struggle. Making her way back over to him, she muttered maliciously, "Ohh, you shouldn't have done that, Logan...you are so screwed..."
She brought her right arm up out of the water and aimed her fingers straight at him. Logan immediately stopped laughing as she lifted him slightly up off the cement with her telekinesis and swung him into the pool as well. Luckily the area was deserted so no one saw this, but Jean couldn't have cared less if it was filled with a thousand non-mutants -- she was having the most fun she'd had in years. Logan always seemed to make everything she did with him a day at the zoo and he always brought out the best in her, as she certainly did with him.
When Logan didn't come up for a few seconds Jean began to panic a little. She called his name once before she felt something pulling at her ankles and was swept down underneath the surface. Logan grinned at her under the water's crystal haze and she smiled back. Grabbing her at first by hand then by waist, he pulled her close and captured her lips with his. Jean's last thought before water rushed into their mouths and they came back up to catch a breath was that Logan tasted like beer, cigars and sex even when he was in a pool filled with sanitizing chlorine.
When they reemerged, Logan looked over to Jean who was busy pushing her wet hair, stained a deep rose now by the water, out of her eyes. Swimming over, he lunged out at her and dunked her a few times before she gained the advantage, with a little help of her teke, and hooked onto his back firmly. Logan thrashed about, trying to pry her loose as both their lungs ached from laughing so hard and from gasping for breath.
They goofed around in the pool for an hour or so like two school kids before reluctantly realizing it was almost five and they had to head back in and get dried off before Scott and Xavier arrived back at the hotel.
After the spontaneity of the afternoon, the evenings seemed dull and endless. Jean and Scott would go out for dinner, and he would tell her of his busy day as she tried hard to look interested during the meal. After what seemed like nothing short of forever, Scott would end abruptly and look to Jean with a small smile, asking how her day went. She would smile back and tell him it went well, she slept in, ate some breakfast...sat around and watched TV until he returned at the end of the day, which was very understandable -- Jean was always sprawled out on the bed with the tube blaring when Scott entered their hotel room. Nodding a bit, Scott would grin then say something like, "sounds like fun" and begin to talk again.
Jean took this opportunity to really think about things one night. As Scott's mouth formed soundless words, she gazed deeply into his face. She knew this face so well, had memorized every line and freckle, had been able to see straight to this man's soul with a glance -- had linked her own soul with his at a glance and had never known anything but him, his love. But now, as she looked into that face, his ruby quartz glasses reflecting the candle light at their small dinner table, she began to feel terrified.


Looking at Scott right now, she felt nothing. She couldn't take her eyes away from his now. Her head didn't spin as it usually would staring at his smile, she didn't feel her skin tingling as his hand held hers on top of the white satin tablecloth. Always when Jean looked at Scott, she felt something she could only describe as magical, that thing that told her she could never leave this man, not even for Logan. Now, she felt empty. Of course she adored Scott, he was a lovely man...but suddenly she felt no reason to be with him anymore.
Jean couldn't understand how this had happened so abruptly. It was like someone had turned a switch in her head, just like that.
Quickly she flicked her eyes to look at her hand, enclosed in his, on the table. Her face was slightly contorted as if she had just had the shock of her life, which was not far from the truth. After a moment of thinking frantically for an answer and feeling a sense of loss of direction that was beyond comprehension, the sweet thought of Logan filled her head. His eyes, his smile, his smell, his essence..and she was filled with such a deep and sudden rush of comfort it made her heart briefly stop beating.
Jean realized wholly and truly now that what she and Logan shared had overcome it's ultimate obstacle, proving it to be a stronger force than any revelation, and more precious than life itself. It was more than love -- it was too powerful to be confined to words.
Logan's crave for her, his care for her, his own life, his being came over and over Jean, like waves on a beach, only it didn't stop. It went on, and on, and on....
As she endured this overwhelming consciousness and emotion, she thought frantically to herself that if God really loved all His creatures, even those who have sinned, would He demand that she deny the need she felt for this one man? Even if it meant giving up Scott and risking losing her friends, the people she valued more than her own life...if it meant giving up anything necessary?

"Jean? Jean, honey, are you okay?" Scott's voice sounded, jerking her out of her own mind and crashing her back into reality. She tore her eyes away from where they were rested, transfixed on she and Scott's hands.

"I'm fine," she forced a foolish laugh. "Just zoned out for a moment there."

She evaded his gaze by staring down at the tablecloth.
Jean's mental shields were suddenly rammed up, guarding her thoughts from him as hard as she ever had, or probably ever would, guard them in her life. Praying that Scott had not picked up on anything before this, and that she had not projected anything before this, she took her hand away from his and brought it to rest softly on the black rim of her glass of water. Her heart was pounding like mad as she stared up into his face once more.
"You sure?" Scott asked a little apprehensively.
Jean's heart began to beat a little more steadily -- he couldn't have heard. He would have said something. She smiled, relieved.
"I'm sure."