Here's RED!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As the sun rose in the early morning Captain Scarlett Rose Wilder stood staring at the sunrise. This was her last day in Tokyo, today she was being transferred to the 4077th M*A*S*H, stationed in Korea. Scarlett was the best damn chest cutter in the USA. Just then she saw a jeep pull up, she walked over.

"Are you Captain Wilder?" The young Corporal asked.

"That's me. Please not so loud, I have the worst hangover." Scarlett admitted.

"Sorry ma'am." The Corporal said.

"Would you cut out with the ma'ams. Just causes I'm a Captain you don't have to be so formal, Scarlett will do just fine." She said as they drove off to the airport.

Meanwhile back at the 4077th

Radar ran over the to SWAMP.

"Hawkeye!" He screamed

"What is it Radar?" Hawkeye asked in a teasing tone.

"We're getting a new surgeon! BEEN IN THE ARMY SINCE BIRTH!" Radar said gasping for breath.

"What?" Hawkeye exclaimed. "Let me see those!" he took the paper out of Radar's hand. "He's right, Captain S Wilder, a chest cutter." Hawkeye said to BJ who was standing now.

"When will he be here Radar?" BJ asked.

"The Captain arrives this afternoon. Klinger is going to pick him up in Kimpo." Radar said still in shock.

"Damn! I though we got rid of those Army brats." Hawkeye said angrily slamming his fist on the stove.

"Take it easy Hawk, maybe he wont be that bad. You never know." BJ tried to reassure his bestfriend.

"Well I have to let Colonel Potter know." Radar said as he left.

"It'll be fine Hawk, we'll just make him part of the family." BJ said with a reassuring smile.

Kimpo Airport.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Captain S Wilder?" Klinger asked as he walked into the very small Kimpo Army pick up station.

"That's me." Scarlett said standing up and walking over to him. "Scarlett Wilder, pleasure to meet you." She said offering her hand to Klinger.

"But you're a woman?" Klinger said looking oddly at Scarlett.

"That's what my dad told me. And what I learned in Medical school." Scarlett said looking at Klinger with a surprises look on her face.

"Corporal Maxwell Q Klinger. Let me take your bags for you ma'am." Klinger offered.

"No need, I'll be fine." She said as the two walked out. "So, tell me about the 4077th." She asked as she threw her bags into the back of the jeep.

"Its your run of the mill M*A*S*H." Klinger said. "So why are you being transferred to hell?" he asked.

"Um…I sort of ran over my CO, in a jeep, cause he dismantled my still." Scarlett confessed.

"You had your own still?" Klinger asked.

"Yeah, tasted like antifreeze though." Scarlett said with a chuckle.

"I think you'll fit right in ma'am." Klinger said trying to old in laughter.

"What makes you say that?" She questioned Klinger looking at him oddly.

"You'll find out ma'am." Klinger said. The rest of the way they talked about everything from where they were born to what they plan to do after the war. "Welcome home Scarlett." Klinger welcomed her as they drove into camp.

"Quaint." She said with a smirk.

"Klinger!" Potter yelled as Klinger drove in front of the office. "I thought you went to get Captain Wilder?"

"Colonelness, this is Captain Scarlett Wilder. Captain Colonel Sherman T Potter." Klinger introduced the two.

"Pleasure Colonel. This is me checking in, but I'm going to venture to the showers, because my head it killing me." She said looking around.

"Colonel Potter sir, choppers." Radar said running out of the office.

"I don't here anything." Scarlett said looking confused.

"Just wait for it." Radar said, just then choppers appeared. "CHOPPERS!" Radar yelled running around.

"Okay maybe I'll go scrub first and then operate then take a shower." Scarlett said as Potter nodded.

"Klinger show the Captain where to scrub." Potter said as he ran off.

Scrub room

"This is sterile, wow." Scarlett said shaking her head. "Oh well." She said as she pulled on a pair of white when BJ, Hawkeye, and Potter walked in.

"Hello." Scarlett greeted the three as they walked in.

"Hey there. Long time no see. Scarlett." Hawkeye said hugging her.

"Too long." Scarlett replied

"Who are you?" BJ asked?

"Oh, Scarlett Rose Wilder."

"Regular Army?" BJ asked.

"Well I'm not regular Army, I mean the only reason I was transferred was because I ran over my CO." Scarlett admitted.

"Why did he do to deserve that?" Hawkeye asked as he pulled his pants on.

"He dismantled my still!" Scarlett said with a slight chuckle.

"Bastard!" Hawkeye stated.

"You had a still?" BJ asked curiosity.

"Yeah. Stuff tasted like antifreeze though." She said as a nurse put her mask on.

"Well, Scarlett, I think you might want to join us after surgery, we might have a surprise for you." Hawkeye said mysteriously.

"Red, please." Scarlet said as they walked out of the scrub room and into OR.

"Why Red?" Hawkeye asked.

"Why Hawkeye? It's just a nickname I've been called since I was a baby. And you know so why are you askin'?" Scarlett said with a smile.

"So Scarlett what's your story?" BJ asked as they we're just about ready to cut into his first patient.

"Well there was a three bears, a mamma bear, a papa bear and a baby bear." She said with a smile.

"You know what I mean." BJ said with a smirk.

"Well I'm the only triplet that survived. My mom died at birth with my sister and two months later my brother died. So it was just me and my dad, who happened to be in the army. So we moved around a lot, when I was ten I decided I wanted to be a doctor. When I was ten I moved to Crabapple Cove and moved in with my aunt, my dad died just before this stupid war started. So I worked my tushie off and joined the army and now I'm in the middle of a war zone, specializing in meatball snurgery." Scarlett said. "Clamp. My aunt is now the principle of Crabapple Cove Senior Secondary School. Which is the school where me and my Benny attended and graduated from."

"Snurgery?" Hawkeye asked, with his eyes dancing in merriment.

"Yeah… so what about you folks. I'm sure you all have a story." Scarlett said promoting them.

"I'll go first, well I was born in Crabapple Cove Maine…" Hawkeye started.

"I know your story!" Scarlett exclaimed. "Clap it honey!"

"I know I just wanted to make sure you still knew where I came from." Hawkeye said mysteriously

"Clamp! Come one Honey! Who's the head nurse?" Scarlett yelled as she looked at all the nurses.

"I am. Major Margaret Houlihan." Margaret said walking in and over to Scarlett's table. "What seems to be the matter?"

"Magpie! AHHH! It's me Scarlett, Laurence's daughter!" Scarlett screamed.

"RED! Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same question!"

"You two know each other?" BJ asked.

"Our dad's were friends. Last time I saw her was when she moved away. But we've kept in touch over the years. Come to think about it, I saw you at your dad's funeral." Margaret noticed her friend's eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Its okay, I dealt with his death a long time ago. So are any of you folks married?" Scarlett asked trying to lighten the mood.

"I am." BJ said happily.

"So am I." Potter said merrily.

"Only to my work." Hawkeye replied.

"I am, well not really but." Margaret tried to say before Scarlett cut her off.

"I know what you're talking 'bout. I'm divorced, and I have full custody of our son." She said.

"You are at war with your son?" A nurse asked from Hawkeye's table.

"No, Andrew is staying with my aunt in Maine." Scarlett said with the twinkle disappearing in her eyes.

Noticing that Margaret piped up

"How old is Andrew?"

"Three and a half, turning four in six months. I have a picture of him in my suitcase I'll show you all after snurgury."

"So I'm guessing the Army doesn't know about Andrew?"

"No, they only know about Laura. But when I got divorced Mark got full custody of her. I get to see her on occasion but I left him when I was a month pregnant with Andrew." Scarlett said looking down at what was left of her patient.

"Speaking of Laura, how's my namesake?"

"I get letters from her all the time, she's doin fine."

"Namesake? But her name is Laura, and Margaret is Margaret." Klinger questioned.

"Her name is Laura Margaret Jane, after my favorite nurse, and Andrew is Andrew Benjamin Franklin. After my favorite idiot!"

"I resent that!" Hawk piped up.

"You resent everything I say." Scarlett shot back.

After Surgery in Scrub Room

"I can't believe this." Scarlett stated looking at both Hawkeye and Margaret. "Out of all the people I meet up with the two hafta be Benny and Magpie."

"Benny?" BJ asked with an amused grin on his face.

"You just be quiet Scarlett or I'm gonna do somethin." Hawkeye joked.

"Like you could pull anything on me. Senior prom I was your date, you tried to get into bed with me."

"Well did it work?" BJ asked as Margaret, Hawkeye, Scarlett and himself walked out of the scrub room.

"Like hell it did!"

"You little liar. The next morning my dad and your aunt were standing over your bed staring at us. And the first word that came out of your mouth was 'you're good.'" Hawkeye said.

"I did not. Magpie would I sleep with this kind of nerd?"

"Well not when you were ten. But after a few years of constant writing about this Benny I think you would."

"Oh shut up!" Scarlett exclaimed pretending to be hurt. "And I don't see dating this nerd."

"I'm no nerd."

"Sure" All three said in unison.

"So what did ya hafta show me Benny?" Scarlett asked.

"You'll see come on in." Hawkeye said opening the door to the Swamp and all of them walked in. "Charles sleeps there, he's in Seoul though, wont be back until tomorrow." Hawkeye said pointing to Charles' cot.

"God this is so dirty. When we were younger you were such a neat freak you and Daniel." Scarlett said tossing Hawkeye his bathrobe.

"Pierce neat, you must be jokin'" Margaret exclaimed.

"Nope, and if I remember, and I always do, Magpie you were quite a little pig, well your room was messier then this."

"Hey."

"I'm just tellin the truth. I'll be right back I promised the picture of Andrew." Scarlett ran out of the Swamp. Everyone just stood there in silence until Scarlett came back. "I got him, this is my Andrew, with Laura. This was taken just before I left."

"They're adorable Red, I can't believe how much Laura looks like you. The red hair, green eyes…" Margaret started

"Full lips." Hawkeye continued.

"Benny…Shut up!" Scarlett exclaimed then noticed the Still. "Is that what I think it is?"

"The fountain of life!" BJ exclaimed.

"Well poor me a drink you nerds. Magpie one too!"

"Red, that stuff tastes like antifreeze, rat poison and gasoline mixed together. Believe me you don't want any."

"Like hell I don't! Magpie we need to talk anyway. Something happened that I think you should know bout." As Hawk and Beej exchanged worried looks Scarlett and Margaret sat down.

"What is it?"

"Margaret, um something has happened Lydia."

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"Who's Lydia?" BJ asked.

"A friend. It was her idea that Red join the army, so we would be together forever. But Red had other ideas and went to med. school, while Loraine, Lydia and I became nurses, but I haven't heard from her in since the time Henry left."

"Margaret, Lydia, um was killed. Her plane was shot over the Sea of Japan, it spun in, there were no survivors." Scarlett said putting her hand on her friend's arm.

"A oh so familiar tune." Hawkeye said sadly sitting beside Margaret and putting his arm around her.

"What do you mean Benny?"

"Our former CO was on that plane, he was headed home." He said quietly.

"Oh god. I got the list of who was on the plane, what was his name?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake."

"Blake? Oh, um, yes I remember, he tried to save Lydia, well we figure at least. When they found their bodies a couple months back he had his arms around her, and from what we can tell we tried to shield her. He was shot, and the bullet when through him and hit Lydia."

"What was Lydie doing on the plane?"

"Discharge. Magpie, Lydie got her points, they discharged her. She came at the beginning of the war, I've been her since she left." Scarlett paused and looked at her friend who was on the brink of crying. "Magpie, just cry. I know you don't like to but suck it up and cry." Margaret looked at Scarlett then fell into Hawkeye and started to cry.

"Shh…its okay Margaret." Hawk whispered into her ear. Scarlett stood up and walked over to where BJ was standing. The two smiled and walked out of the Swamp.

"BJ, when did Margaret let him in?"

"Shortly after she got married, they got closer after they came back from the 8063rd, they got lost in enemy territory. I don't know happened all I know is when they cam back she hit him."

"Sounds like my Magpie. I remember she went and beat the crap out of this guy who slapped my tushie once." Scarlett paused and stared. "He loves her doesn't he?"

"Yeah, he won't admit it though. And Margaret is head of heals for him, and you know Margaret."

"Believe me I know Margaret. Margaret Jane Houlihan, the oldest daddy's girl in the world, never listened to her mother. Lizard did though."

"Lizard?"

"Elizabeth Marie Houlihan, her little sister. Lizard, I was Red my whole life, Elizabeth was Lizard and Margaret was Magpie. Then there were the colonels, Colonel Alvin 'Howitzer' Houlihan and Colonel Laurence 'Sludge' Wilder. Daddy was a boxing champion. Then her mom, god bless her soul, I don't know what I would have done if she weren't around after I moved. Magpie, Lizard and myself were the only little girls on the bases we lived on, until dad moved me into my aunt's place. We kept in touch; I visited a lot, then three months before this little 'police action' started my father died of a massive heart attack. I tired but failed."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, but thank you anyway. Now back to Margaret and Hawkeye. We should head back before they have my head. And believe me they will both have my head." BJ laughed as they walked back into the Swamp.