CHAPTER FIVE
Sorry about the delay! I forgot what this story was about. :( I have, like, baby mind-loss or something lol. Pretty soon I'll have gray hair, too! :-(
Confidential to B.I.W.: They're okay. If you've ever had homemade ones, they're like that.
Miss Volde said: That Tom Cruise one where he kinda looked like Tom?
Doesn't he always? *confused*
Whip It is by Devo.
"Tooooooooooooom!" Araminta screamed as the bus lurched around a corner. "Are you sure we should be doing this? I mean, you just stole--"
"Shut up! I'm trying to figure out how this works." Tom pressed buttons and pulled levers, but the bus continued at a steady speed of 55 mph.
"Look out!" The Knight Bus made a left at a red light, narrowly missing a man who must have been returning a shopping cart to Ralph's.
Tom flipped a switch and loud oldies music poured through the bus.
crack that whip
give the past the slip
step on a crack
break your momma's back
when a problem comes along
you must whip it
before the cream sits out too long
you must whip it
when something's going wrong
you must whip it
now whip it
into shape
shape it up
get straight
go forward
move ahead
try to detect it
it's not too late
to whip it
whip it good
when a good time turns around
you must whip it
you will never live it down
unless you whip it
no one gets their way
until they whip it
i say whip it
whip it good
"Stop! Turn it off! You're hurting my ears," Araminta cried. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and she was afraid her eardrums were going to burst.
Tom scowled. "I like it." He snapped his fingers, and, shaking his hips, shimmied down the aisle of the bus.
"Nobody's driving! You're going to ram into something!"
"Ah, quit your bitching, Araminta." Tom smiled devilishly. "Come here and dance with me." He grabbed her by the waist and proceeded to lambada her back and forth.
"Ooh!" she yelled, as the bus rolled over to miss a pile of dirt. "Tom, I think I'm going to..."
"What?" He nuzzled her neck and rotated his hips faster.
"Be sick!"
"Me too," said a woman, whose name tag proclaimed her to be 'Madam Marsh'. "I think my stop is next, though." Sure enough, the bus stopped with a bang in front of the Bonaventure Hotel, and Madam Marsh joined a group of teenagers wearing different colored sweatshirts. There were groups of whites, reds, greens, yellows, blues. Madam Marsh put on a red shirt, which clashed horribly with her sickish green complexion.
"Oh, I forgot. I'm driving." Tom went back to the steering wheel. "Why won't this go where I want it to go?"
"I don't know," Araminta began, but when the bus lurched away she feel over before she could complete her sentence.
"Give me your diary," Tom commanded imperiously. At least he didn't curse. "I want to write something down." His mouth moved as he wrote: "Mo' Devo. Roll, dirt, ram."
"Maybe we should stop and ask for directions. Can we?" Araminta was growing concerned about how quickly the scenery was flying by.
Tom rolled his eyes. "What do you think?"