DISCLAIMER: We do not own the members of the XMEN. They are copyrighted by Marvel. We just wanted to use them for this "interview" type way. Our views of the characters are not to permanently make fun of a character favorite of yours... this is only out of fun... mmmk? Thnxbye
X-Panel #1
Sar: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our interview with the X-Men! Why the X-Men you ask? Well, because I can. And I want any excuse I can to use the little nicknames that people call them. Yeah that's right. Wolvie. Plus I really want to make fun of the X-Men that I don't like. Because I'm evil like that. Ahem. So! With us today we have Nightcrawler.
Crawler: Kurt Vagner. *smiles and waves to nobody*
Sar: Yes dear. You're pretty, but there's nobody to wave to. And next, we have Wolverine.
Wolvie: *grunt* Why am I second?
Sar: Because you have really bad fashion sense. We have Jubilee.
Jubes: Like HI! *waves madly*
Sar: Earplugs everyone. We have Magneto and Professor X. Who for some reason insist on being introduced as one. *strange look at Magneto sitting on Xavier's lap*
Magxavier: That is correct. *they speak as one*
Sar: Uh...huh... Anyway, we have Cyclops. *wrinkles nose*
Cyke: Why did she make that face? Why doesn't she like me? WHY DO I CRY SO MUCH?! *bawls*
Sar: *kicks him* Knock it off pussy boy. So! That's our X-Men panel. *smiles prettily*
Pyro: Hello??
Sar: *groans* Oh yeah. We have the weasel.
Pyro: I AM NOT A WEASEL!
Sar: Silence Weasel. *glare*
Pyro: *growl*
Wolvie: Can we get this show on the road? I got a lot to do today.
Jubes: LOGAN! *clings to him*
Wolvie: *surprised grunt* Get offa me kid
Sar: Umm... yes. Can we NOT grope the other members of the panel?
Wolvie: She ain't groping mEE!!
Sar: HEY!
Jubes: Hehehe. *crawls out of Wolverine's lap with a kittenish smile. An EVIL kitten*
Cyke: Why isn't anyone talking to me? What did I do? *sob*
Sar: Oh... my god.
Pyro: *glares and flicks his bic* ((I MEAN HIS LIGHTER YOU DIRTY MINDED PEOPLE!))
Sar: Pfft. Not in my interview. *steals the lighter*
Pyro: *gapes*
Sar: Okay, so our first question, and anyone can answer. Why did Dorothy and Toto go over the rainbow?
Wolvie: ...What kind of a question is that?
Sar: A legitimate one. Answer it.
Wolvie: No.
Sar: Don't make me sick Jubes on you.
Wolvie: ... *eyes Jubes*
Jubes: *smirk*
Sar: Someone answer. Before we lose ratings.
Crawler: Vait vait! I KNOW this! To blow off Auntie Em.
Pyro: ...Stupidest answer I've ever heard.
Sar: Silence, Weasel. And actually, he's right. HAHAHAHAHA!
Pyro: This is rigged.
Sar: This isn't a game show.
Cyke: *bursts into tears* I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!
Magxavier: No you weren't.
Cyke: *sobs uncontrollablly*
Sar: ...We should move on.
Sar: ....
Sar: ......
Wolvie: Well?!
Sar: I'm just too amused by this.
Cyke: *sniffles and tries to climb into Xavier's lap with Magneto*
Magxavier: NO! *shove him to the floor*
Cyke: *sits on the floor and starts crying again*
Sar: Oh shut up! *hucks a tissue box at his head* We're losing viewers people! Let's pick up the pace!
Jubes: ... I could dance!
Everyone: NO!
Jubes: *pouts and clings to Logan again*
Wolvie: .... *twitches*
Sar: Ok, moving on moving on. Next question is if you were on a desert island and could have only one object with you, what would you bring? EVERYONE must answer this one.
Pyro: Wow that's original. Did you think of that all by yourself?
Sar: Silence Weasel. Let's start with Nightcrawler. Kurt honey, what would you bring with you?
Crawler: ... Vere is Ororo?
Sar: I locked her in a box.
Crawler: Vy??
Sar: Because I can. Now will you answer my question?
Crawler: My rosary. So I vill always have Gott--
Sar: Yes Elf. We know. Moving on down the panel. Logan! Same question. Different answer. Go.
Wolvie: *grunt* Cigar.
Sar: ... THAT'S what you would bring? A cigar?
Wolvie: Yup
Sar: One single cigar?
Wolvie: *grunt* ((that means yes.))
Sar: .... How would you light it?
Wolvie: ... the campfire I would build by rubbin' two sticks together.
Sar: How incredibly boring.
Wolvie: Sorry to disappoint you pun'kin.
Sar: Hee. Logie's Canadian. *clings to him*
Wolvie: *twitch* STOP DOIN' THAT!
Sar: AHH! *jumps off him and clings to Crawler instead* Save me.
Crawler: ...
Sar: Ahem... I mean... Jubilation! Your turn!
Jubes: I would totally just bring my stereo!
Sar: Well that's stupid.
Jubes: IT IS NOT! Wait, why?
Sar: Because if you brought just your stereo, then A. You would have nowhere to plug it in and 2. you wouldn't have speakers. Therefore it wouldn't work. Plus, you probably couldn't get reception on a desert island even if you COULD plug it in. You lose.
Jubes: But I-!
Sar: LOSE! Next, Mag...xavier. *gives them another strange look*
Magxavier: Yes.
Sar: Same... question. *stares*
Magneto: We would bring our books.
Xavier: No we wouldn't.
Sar: ... *stares*
Magneto: But I'm sure we would.
Xavier: No. We wouldn't. We would bring the wheelchair.
Magneto: They would LET us have the chair, Charles.
Xavier: But she said-
Sar: STOP THE MADNESS!! *pulls on hair* Don't make me separate you two!
Magxavier: NO! *clings to... self*
Sar: All right then. *gives them one more odd look before turning to Cyclops* Scotty boy. Your turn.
Cyke: I would bring Jeanie.
Pyro: *snorts* That's so incredibly lame.
Sar: *twitch* SILENCE Weasel.
Cyke: *face crumples* I'm not lame, am I?
Sar: Yes. Yes you are. Don't. Cry.
Cyke: *covers face* I'm not. *sob*
Sar: *twitches and looks to Pyro* I'm almost afraid to ask.
Pyro: My lighter. Satisfied?
Sar: Oddly, yes. That was a normal answer at least. But what happens when your precious lighter runs out of fuel?
Pyro: ... Damn you.
Sar: Hah. You lose as well. In fact, all of you lose. No points for this round.
Pyro: I thought this wasn't a game show!
Sar: Silence Weasel. Ok. Next question. This is for the guys, and it was written in at special request. *clears throat and grins evilly* Boxers or briefs?
Jubes: *giggles madly*
Wolvie: ... you've gotta be kiddin' me.
Sar: Sorry no. Ok Kurt baby. You're up.
Crawler: *eyes widen* Vas?? Me??
Sar: Yes you. Answer. What's under those pretty striped pants of yours?
Crawler: Vy are you looking at my pants??
Sar: JUST ANSWER!
Crawler: *squeaks* Briefs!
Sar: Heh. I'm trying not to look too pleased here people. Anyway, Logan. Go.
Wolvie: I ain't answering that question, darlin'
Sar: Uh... yes-huh you are. Or I'll tell everyone about that little incident you had with the sheep and the bagpipes.
Wolvie: Boxers! Plaid! *slinks down in his seat*
Jubes: What incident?! TELL ME!!
Sar: *grins evilly* Never. Thank you Logan. Now we know what to get you for Christmas.
Crawler: *edges away from Logan slowly, closer to Magxavier* Bag...pipes?
Sar: Nevermind that. It was... a mistake. Wrong person. Magxavier. Do we want to know?
Magxavier: Briefs.
Magneto: They're more gentlemanly.
Xavier: He makes me.
Sar: WE DON'T CARE! *stuffs fingers in ears*
Crawler: *leaps into Logan's lap, eyes wide as dinner plates* Zey're all MAD!
Sar: Yes. Yes they are. Magxavier, you aren't allowed to talk ANYMORE! ... for five minutes. *shudders* Scotty. Please have a normal answer.
Cyke: Boxers.
Sar: Thank you. Cookie.
Cyke: I'm not a dog. *wails*
Sar: *rips hair out* Ok Weasel. Go ahead.
Pyro: Nothing.
Sar: ...
Crawler: ...
Wolvie: ...
Jubes: *squeaks*
Magxavier: ...
Cyke: ...
Pyro: ... What?
Sar: Ugh *shudders* THERE'S a mental picture I could have gone without.
Pyro: Seriously WHAT?!
Sar: Nevermind. *twitching* We are NEVER bringing this question up again.
Wolvie: Heh. I have a fuzzy in my lap.
Crawler: *realizes where he is* ACH! *'ports back to his seat*
Wolvie: Aww... my fuzzy...
Sar: Ok, we're getting off topic again! Our next question is what the hell is he doing here??
Wolvie: THAT'S our next question?
Sar: No. *points to Gambit, who just walked in, dragging Rogue behind him*
Rogue: Ah'm sorry! Ah tried to stop him.
Gambit: What is dis? Remy got no invitation to be part o' dis!
Sar: Then why are you HERE? *stares*
Gambit: Remy got lonely. Everyone care for de Wolf and petite. Nobody t'ink about ol' Remy.
Rogue: *eyetwitch* Sorry. But ya'll will jest HAVE to let 'im stay. Ah can't deal with his whinin' no more.
Sar: Fine fine fine. Sit down, both of you. *annoyed* Let's get onto the next question. This one is for everyone. If you had to date another member of the X-Men team, who would you date and why? I'm going to regret this question.
Jubes: How come?
Sar: You'll see. Kurt honey, might as well get it over with.
Crawler: Ororo. *answers promptly* Or Kitty. Or...
Sar: That's why. *sighs* Logan. You're up.
Wolvie: *grunts* I don't 'date'
Gambit: Dat's because n'body would date you, mon ami.
Wolvie: Watch it Cajin. *growls*
Sar: No catfights. Speaking of... Jubilee, you're up.
Jubes: Bobby. Or Logan. Or Bobby. Or... Logan... Or Scott!
Sar: *eyetwitch* Ew.
Pyro: *perks up* Really?
Sar: Down boy. This question is breaking my brain. Do we really have to ask Magxavier?
Magneto: What a question.
Xavier: Best to just pass over us.
Sar: Ehhh. *covers face* Weasel, go for it.
Pyro: *shrugs* Dunno. *flicks lighter*
Jubes: *pouts* But Bobbeeee!
Sar: She's gonna shatter glass here people.
Cyke: You passed over me! *eyes fill with tears*
Sar: That's because you're MARRIED! To a member of the X-Men! We KNOW who you would pick! *grits teeth*
Cyke: But... you didn't give me a chance to say it! *tears*
Sar: OH FINE! *sighs and speaks in an overly sweet voice* Scotty? Who would YOU date?
Cyke: Don't patronize me! *whimpers*
Sar: OH JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!
Cyke: Why are you yelling at me? *sobs*
Sar: Oh... my god. We're moving on. Oh yeah. Remy. Who would you date? If it weren't obvious.
Gambit: D' Southern Bell. She is la fleur sensible, non?
Rogue: *blushes* Aw, shut yer yap Cajin. One kiss from me would land you on yer back fer two weeks.
Gambit: Can't t'ink of a better way to spend two weeks, chéri.
Sar: Oh knock it off you two. This is a family show.....
X-Panel #1
Sar: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our interview with the X-Men! Why the X-Men you ask? Well, because I can. And I want any excuse I can to use the little nicknames that people call them. Yeah that's right. Wolvie. Plus I really want to make fun of the X-Men that I don't like. Because I'm evil like that. Ahem. So! With us today we have Nightcrawler.
Crawler: Kurt Vagner. *smiles and waves to nobody*
Sar: Yes dear. You're pretty, but there's nobody to wave to. And next, we have Wolverine.
Wolvie: *grunt* Why am I second?
Sar: Because you have really bad fashion sense. We have Jubilee.
Jubes: Like HI! *waves madly*
Sar: Earplugs everyone. We have Magneto and Professor X. Who for some reason insist on being introduced as one. *strange look at Magneto sitting on Xavier's lap*
Magxavier: That is correct. *they speak as one*
Sar: Uh...huh... Anyway, we have Cyclops. *wrinkles nose*
Cyke: Why did she make that face? Why doesn't she like me? WHY DO I CRY SO MUCH?! *bawls*
Sar: *kicks him* Knock it off pussy boy. So! That's our X-Men panel. *smiles prettily*
Pyro: Hello??
Sar: *groans* Oh yeah. We have the weasel.
Pyro: I AM NOT A WEASEL!
Sar: Silence Weasel. *glare*
Pyro: *growl*
Wolvie: Can we get this show on the road? I got a lot to do today.
Jubes: LOGAN! *clings to him*
Wolvie: *surprised grunt* Get offa me kid
Sar: Umm... yes. Can we NOT grope the other members of the panel?
Wolvie: She ain't groping mEE!!
Sar: HEY!
Jubes: Hehehe. *crawls out of Wolverine's lap with a kittenish smile. An EVIL kitten*
Cyke: Why isn't anyone talking to me? What did I do? *sob*
Sar: Oh... my god.
Pyro: *glares and flicks his bic* ((I MEAN HIS LIGHTER YOU DIRTY MINDED PEOPLE!))
Sar: Pfft. Not in my interview. *steals the lighter*
Pyro: *gapes*
Sar: Okay, so our first question, and anyone can answer. Why did Dorothy and Toto go over the rainbow?
Wolvie: ...What kind of a question is that?
Sar: A legitimate one. Answer it.
Wolvie: No.
Sar: Don't make me sick Jubes on you.
Wolvie: ... *eyes Jubes*
Jubes: *smirk*
Sar: Someone answer. Before we lose ratings.
Crawler: Vait vait! I KNOW this! To blow off Auntie Em.
Pyro: ...Stupidest answer I've ever heard.
Sar: Silence, Weasel. And actually, he's right. HAHAHAHAHA!
Pyro: This is rigged.
Sar: This isn't a game show.
Cyke: *bursts into tears* I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT!
Magxavier: No you weren't.
Cyke: *sobs uncontrollablly*
Sar: ...We should move on.
Sar: ....
Sar: ......
Wolvie: Well?!
Sar: I'm just too amused by this.
Cyke: *sniffles and tries to climb into Xavier's lap with Magneto*
Magxavier: NO! *shove him to the floor*
Cyke: *sits on the floor and starts crying again*
Sar: Oh shut up! *hucks a tissue box at his head* We're losing viewers people! Let's pick up the pace!
Jubes: ... I could dance!
Everyone: NO!
Jubes: *pouts and clings to Logan again*
Wolvie: .... *twitches*
Sar: Ok, moving on moving on. Next question is if you were on a desert island and could have only one object with you, what would you bring? EVERYONE must answer this one.
Pyro: Wow that's original. Did you think of that all by yourself?
Sar: Silence Weasel. Let's start with Nightcrawler. Kurt honey, what would you bring with you?
Crawler: ... Vere is Ororo?
Sar: I locked her in a box.
Crawler: Vy??
Sar: Because I can. Now will you answer my question?
Crawler: My rosary. So I vill always have Gott--
Sar: Yes Elf. We know. Moving on down the panel. Logan! Same question. Different answer. Go.
Wolvie: *grunt* Cigar.
Sar: ... THAT'S what you would bring? A cigar?
Wolvie: Yup
Sar: One single cigar?
Wolvie: *grunt* ((that means yes.))
Sar: .... How would you light it?
Wolvie: ... the campfire I would build by rubbin' two sticks together.
Sar: How incredibly boring.
Wolvie: Sorry to disappoint you pun'kin.
Sar: Hee. Logie's Canadian. *clings to him*
Wolvie: *twitch* STOP DOIN' THAT!
Sar: AHH! *jumps off him and clings to Crawler instead* Save me.
Crawler: ...
Sar: Ahem... I mean... Jubilation! Your turn!
Jubes: I would totally just bring my stereo!
Sar: Well that's stupid.
Jubes: IT IS NOT! Wait, why?
Sar: Because if you brought just your stereo, then A. You would have nowhere to plug it in and 2. you wouldn't have speakers. Therefore it wouldn't work. Plus, you probably couldn't get reception on a desert island even if you COULD plug it in. You lose.
Jubes: But I-!
Sar: LOSE! Next, Mag...xavier. *gives them another strange look*
Magxavier: Yes.
Sar: Same... question. *stares*
Magneto: We would bring our books.
Xavier: No we wouldn't.
Sar: ... *stares*
Magneto: But I'm sure we would.
Xavier: No. We wouldn't. We would bring the wheelchair.
Magneto: They would LET us have the chair, Charles.
Xavier: But she said-
Sar: STOP THE MADNESS!! *pulls on hair* Don't make me separate you two!
Magxavier: NO! *clings to... self*
Sar: All right then. *gives them one more odd look before turning to Cyclops* Scotty boy. Your turn.
Cyke: I would bring Jeanie.
Pyro: *snorts* That's so incredibly lame.
Sar: *twitch* SILENCE Weasel.
Cyke: *face crumples* I'm not lame, am I?
Sar: Yes. Yes you are. Don't. Cry.
Cyke: *covers face* I'm not. *sob*
Sar: *twitches and looks to Pyro* I'm almost afraid to ask.
Pyro: My lighter. Satisfied?
Sar: Oddly, yes. That was a normal answer at least. But what happens when your precious lighter runs out of fuel?
Pyro: ... Damn you.
Sar: Hah. You lose as well. In fact, all of you lose. No points for this round.
Pyro: I thought this wasn't a game show!
Sar: Silence Weasel. Ok. Next question. This is for the guys, and it was written in at special request. *clears throat and grins evilly* Boxers or briefs?
Jubes: *giggles madly*
Wolvie: ... you've gotta be kiddin' me.
Sar: Sorry no. Ok Kurt baby. You're up.
Crawler: *eyes widen* Vas?? Me??
Sar: Yes you. Answer. What's under those pretty striped pants of yours?
Crawler: Vy are you looking at my pants??
Sar: JUST ANSWER!
Crawler: *squeaks* Briefs!
Sar: Heh. I'm trying not to look too pleased here people. Anyway, Logan. Go.
Wolvie: I ain't answering that question, darlin'
Sar: Uh... yes-huh you are. Or I'll tell everyone about that little incident you had with the sheep and the bagpipes.
Wolvie: Boxers! Plaid! *slinks down in his seat*
Jubes: What incident?! TELL ME!!
Sar: *grins evilly* Never. Thank you Logan. Now we know what to get you for Christmas.
Crawler: *edges away from Logan slowly, closer to Magxavier* Bag...pipes?
Sar: Nevermind that. It was... a mistake. Wrong person. Magxavier. Do we want to know?
Magxavier: Briefs.
Magneto: They're more gentlemanly.
Xavier: He makes me.
Sar: WE DON'T CARE! *stuffs fingers in ears*
Crawler: *leaps into Logan's lap, eyes wide as dinner plates* Zey're all MAD!
Sar: Yes. Yes they are. Magxavier, you aren't allowed to talk ANYMORE! ... for five minutes. *shudders* Scotty. Please have a normal answer.
Cyke: Boxers.
Sar: Thank you. Cookie.
Cyke: I'm not a dog. *wails*
Sar: *rips hair out* Ok Weasel. Go ahead.
Pyro: Nothing.
Sar: ...
Crawler: ...
Wolvie: ...
Jubes: *squeaks*
Magxavier: ...
Cyke: ...
Pyro: ... What?
Sar: Ugh *shudders* THERE'S a mental picture I could have gone without.
Pyro: Seriously WHAT?!
Sar: Nevermind. *twitching* We are NEVER bringing this question up again.
Wolvie: Heh. I have a fuzzy in my lap.
Crawler: *realizes where he is* ACH! *'ports back to his seat*
Wolvie: Aww... my fuzzy...
Sar: Ok, we're getting off topic again! Our next question is what the hell is he doing here??
Wolvie: THAT'S our next question?
Sar: No. *points to Gambit, who just walked in, dragging Rogue behind him*
Rogue: Ah'm sorry! Ah tried to stop him.
Gambit: What is dis? Remy got no invitation to be part o' dis!
Sar: Then why are you HERE? *stares*
Gambit: Remy got lonely. Everyone care for de Wolf and petite. Nobody t'ink about ol' Remy.
Rogue: *eyetwitch* Sorry. But ya'll will jest HAVE to let 'im stay. Ah can't deal with his whinin' no more.
Sar: Fine fine fine. Sit down, both of you. *annoyed* Let's get onto the next question. This one is for everyone. If you had to date another member of the X-Men team, who would you date and why? I'm going to regret this question.
Jubes: How come?
Sar: You'll see. Kurt honey, might as well get it over with.
Crawler: Ororo. *answers promptly* Or Kitty. Or...
Sar: That's why. *sighs* Logan. You're up.
Wolvie: *grunts* I don't 'date'
Gambit: Dat's because n'body would date you, mon ami.
Wolvie: Watch it Cajin. *growls*
Sar: No catfights. Speaking of... Jubilee, you're up.
Jubes: Bobby. Or Logan. Or Bobby. Or... Logan... Or Scott!
Sar: *eyetwitch* Ew.
Pyro: *perks up* Really?
Sar: Down boy. This question is breaking my brain. Do we really have to ask Magxavier?
Magneto: What a question.
Xavier: Best to just pass over us.
Sar: Ehhh. *covers face* Weasel, go for it.
Pyro: *shrugs* Dunno. *flicks lighter*
Jubes: *pouts* But Bobbeeee!
Sar: She's gonna shatter glass here people.
Cyke: You passed over me! *eyes fill with tears*
Sar: That's because you're MARRIED! To a member of the X-Men! We KNOW who you would pick! *grits teeth*
Cyke: But... you didn't give me a chance to say it! *tears*
Sar: OH FINE! *sighs and speaks in an overly sweet voice* Scotty? Who would YOU date?
Cyke: Don't patronize me! *whimpers*
Sar: OH JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!
Cyke: Why are you yelling at me? *sobs*
Sar: Oh... my god. We're moving on. Oh yeah. Remy. Who would you date? If it weren't obvious.
Gambit: D' Southern Bell. She is la fleur sensible, non?
Rogue: *blushes* Aw, shut yer yap Cajin. One kiss from me would land you on yer back fer two weeks.
Gambit: Can't t'ink of a better way to spend two weeks, chéri.
Sar: Oh knock it off you two. This is a family show.....