Disclaimer: What if I got my name officially changed to Rumiko Takahashi? Would that work?
A/N Heyas, peoples! A short interlude from King of the Hill; don't worry, I'm going straight back to it!
This idea just struck me and I had to write it down to see what you guys thought about it. It's COMPLETELY different from the classic fanfic where Inuyasha must choose, hence the humour/parody rating. Just a fun little thing, but I hope you like it! ^____^
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"Inuyasha. It is time."
Inuyasha spun at the sound of Kikyo's voice. "Kikyo!"
"It is time to go to hell with me, Inuyasha," the girl said as she glided toward him in the middle of the open meadow, the pink Shikon jewel in her hand.
"I...but-"
"Naraku has been defeated," Kikyo said firmly. "Your life belongs to me. Come with me to hell."
"Inuyasha!" the dog hanyou perked his ears at the sound of Miroku's voice as his other four travelling companions came running up to the pair. "Don't go!"
"He gave his word," Kikyo said harshly.
"I-Inuyasha...?" Kagome said, coming up to him, her hands clasped in front of her and a hopeful expression on her face. "Please...? Please don't go? Please live? F-for me?"
Inuyasha squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head. "I-I don't know what..."
"What to do? Who to choose?" Kikyo asked. She laughed. "You still love me, Inuyasha. I'm the only one you can be with. You must come with me to hell, like you agreed to do before."
"But Inuyasha-!" Kagome began, but was cut off by Kouga's speedy arrival.
"Heh. Go with the dead bitch, Dogturd," he said harshly. "Then Kagome can come with me and be my woman."
"Don't listen to him!" Sango said. "You have so much to live for, and Kagome's offering you that chance! If only Kohaku had that same chance...I still don't know what happened to him..."
"Inuyasha, you dolt! Why would you go and choose Kikyo when Kagome obviously a lot nicer!?" Shippo cried out indignantly.
"I don't know...who...to choose!" Inuyasha yelled, looking back and forth between the identical faces. Kikyo was his first love...but Kagome had taught him so much and he had grown to love her so deeply...but he had given his word to Kikyo...but he now loved Kagome...
"Go to hell!" Kouga encouraged.
Suddenly, Ayame ran up and smacked Kouga on the arm. "Don't do that Inuyasha! Stay and live!"
"What're you doing here...?" Kouga asked, staring stupidly at Ayame.
"Stopping you from encouraging Inuyasha to make a bad choice. What any good wife would do," she responded, sniffing primly.
"What!?" Kouga yelled. "You're not my wife! Especially not when Kagome's my woman!"
"I will be! And she is not! I mean, Kagome, are you his woman?" Ayame asked, hands on hips.
"Nooo..." Kagome replied slowly.
"You're just saying that!" Kouga said confidently. "As soon as Dogcrap goes to hell with that dead chick, she won't be afraid of him getting angry at her anymore and she'll come with me and be my woman!"
Everyone in the clearing smacked their foreheads, except Kikyo, who kept staring blankly at Inuyasha, and Inuyasha, who instead fumed in Kouga's general direction.
"It is time," Kikyo said again, breaking through their squabbles as she grabbed Inuyasha's arm.
"No! Inuyasha, you have to live!" Kagome protested, tears welling up in her eyes. "Please..." she whispered as she grasped his other arm. "Stay with me?"
"I..."
"Inuyasha!" Kikyo said, her eyes narrowing.
"Kikyo..."
"Inuyasha..."
Inuyasha's eyes turned from the one girl holding onto his one arm to her reincarnation holding onto his other arm. "Kagome..."
"Come with me to hell!"
"No! Live!"
"Kikyo...Kagome..."
"Who do you choose?" Kikyo demanded.
"I-I just...I don't-"
"Brother!"
"Huh!?"
Everyone in the meadow turned to see Sesshoumaru coming towards them, the closest thing they'd ever seen to irritation displayed by him on his face.
"Sesshoumaru!?" Inuyasha's shock was evident on his face. "What are you doing here?!"
"Inuyasha, you idiot, just stay and live with this Kagome girl She may be a human, but at least she's alive!" Sesshoumaru said, gesturing vaguely at Kagome.
"But...Kikyo..." Inuyasha said, gazing at the dead miko beside him.
"Oh, she's the problem, is she?" Sesshoumaru asked. Before anyone could react, he drew Tokijin and stabbed Kikyo through the heart.
She immediately gasped and all of her stolen souls flew out of her body. She reached out for Inuyasha who stared at her stupefied as her body disintegrated into ash once more and flew away on the wind. The jewel she had been holding disintegrated as well, joining its mistress in hell.
"Uh..."
"There. Problem solved," Sesshoumaru said, straightening and resheathing his sword.
"Kikyo..." Inuyasha said in disbelief.
"Is there a problem, brother?!" Sesshoumaru said menacingly.
"Uh..."
"Good, then. You people made an awful racket and I can't have you disturbing Rin's nap. Now I must return because Jaken makes a horrible babysitter."
Everyone watched dumbly as Sesshoumaru began to make his way back in the direction from which he came. He stopped before Kouga and Ayame.
"Oh, your little controversy is quite tiresome as well," he told them as if it were an afterthought. "Wolf, Kagome will never be your woman because she doesn't like her men in skirts. She, on the other hand," he said, indicating Ayame, "is willing to give you a chance. I suggest you take it."
Kouga adopted a thoughtful expression and turned to regard Ayame.
Sesshoumaru continued on his way until he reached the tree line, when he turned back once again. "Oh, and I found this dead boy at Naraku's castle. I brought him back to life with Tensaiga since Rin was pestering me for a playmate. He wouldn't happen to belong to any of you, would he?"
As they looked, a boy stepped cautiously out of the trees, his head bowed. As he lifted it, Sango gasped and cried out, "Kohaku!"
The boy took in the sight of Sango and said uncertainly, "Sis?"
Tears brimmed in Sango's eyes. "You-you remember?"
"Y-yes..." Kohaku said, taking a step forward.
"Kohaku!" Sango sobbed as she ran forward to meet her lost brother. She enfolded him in a tight embrace and he returned it desperately.
"As...fun as this is," Sesshoumaru broke through. "I have pressing matters elsewhere. And, oh! Inuyasha! Rin says she likes my sword better than yours, so I have no need to kill you for it anymore. As long as you don't annoy me in the future, you can keep your pathetic life."
With a toss of his long silver hair and fluffy, Sesshoumaru stalked off into the trees, leaving behind a large group of stupefied people in his wake. After a few moments of silence, they heard the distinct strangled yell of, "Jaken! What have I told you about giving Rin your fire staff to play with!? And she's supposed to be asleep! You didn't happen to try to sing her a lullaby again, did you?! Remember what happened last time!? Oi...come, Rin."
"Yes, master Sesshoumaru!" a young, cheerful voice piped up.
Their voices faded into the distance and the group left behind still hadn't dared to mention anything.
"Uh...sooo..." Miroku began uncertainly.
"Yeah..." Ayame agreed, grasping Kouga's arm. He, strangely, didn't pull away.
"Who would have ever thought..." Kagome added in wonder.
"Fluffy of all people..." Shippo chirped.
"Would solve all our problems..." Kohaku said through his tears as he straightened and stood up with Sango.
"And remember," Sango said. "He was the one who actually defeated Naraku in the end by suffocating him with his giant fluffy thing."
"And the sole reason..." Kouga trailed off in disbelief.
"Was so that Rin could have a nap?!" Inuyasha finished incredulously.
Everyone looked back and forth at each other, speechless.
"Well...let's just...uh, carry on...then," Inuyasha continued. "Uh, Kagome?" he said, offering his hand.
She smiled and placed her small hand in his larger one. They began walking off together.
Miroku joined Sango and Kohaku and the three of them began strolling in the opposite direction.
Meanwhile, Kouga and Ayame glanced at each other before racing off towards the former's hideout.
Shippo watched them all leave before sighing blissfully. "Nothing brings people together better than...uh...Sesshoumaru? Oh, well! Works for me!" he said as he dashed off in the direction Inuyasha and Kagome had gone.
And they lived happily ever after, with Kagome jumping back and forth between times depending on her mood and if Inuyasha had been a jerk that day. All the couples married and lived long and prospered. And Sesshoumaru opened a daycare.
The End
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A/N Don't you think that should be the actual ending, lol? I think Sesshoumaru could solve all their problems, just like that. He's got the means, and the motive if Rin is indeed taking a nap. Lol, I hope to hear what you think of my alternate ending; it was a fun little thing that popped into my head when I watched the episode where Inuyasha first "chose" Kikyo. I figured something had to be done to help him decide the RIGHT girl and of course, who better to call upon than his own dear brother, Sesshy?
Well, I'll get back to writing the next chapter of King of the Hill now; just wanted to get that out. ^_~ Talk to ya later!