{Love Song For No One}
{A Sequel To Merry Christmas!}
{Disclaimer} I own the OC and Seth Cohen. Oh, and I'm a pathological liar.
{A/N} REVIEW. FEEDBACK. REVIEW.
{Chapter 4: Ryan's Cold Feet}
Ryan looked down at the pile of papers in his lap.
Another Friday at home, trying to get some pointless paperwork done.
Well, it wasn't exactly pointless, since Kirsten had left to visit her grandchildren in Boston. She asked him to tie up some loose ends with their new client and so here he was, forcing himself to do paperwork while picking at some take out and watching 'Clueless'.
He wasn't really watching the movie; he just liked having background noise.
But as he geared his head up towards the screen out of pure boredom, he immediately regretted it. He watched the main character chat into a cell phone and walk like a runway model while she criticized high school boys.
Ryan chuckled out loud as she spat the familiar 'as if' and threw a shoe at the cheap TV, which made it instantly shut off.
Back to paperwork.
"As if." Ryan found himself saying out loud. It sent a eerie familiar chill down his spine and he reached towards his nightstand, pulling out a tiny picture of himself, with her.
He cast the papers aside, sighing as he leaned back on the uncomfortable mattress, gazing at the picture in his hands. He hated how empty his bed felt at that moment. He threw the picture to the floor and closed his eyes, listening to the gentle hum of the mini-fridge.
***FLASHBACK***
"We really need to stop fighting." Ryan announced as he grabbed the spoon from Marissa, plunging it into the tub of Ben and Jerry's they had between them.
"We really should." Marissa smiled, grabbing the spoon back as soon as he was done.
She stroked her naked leg against his, licking the ice cream off the spoon.
"Why does sex make you so hungry?" Ryan asked, stroking his leg back on hers as he threw the empty tub towards the floor.
"Not just any sex. Great, amazing, make up sex." Marissa grinned, inching closer to him so she could feel that familiar spot beneath the crook of his arm.
"Didn't realize I was such a stud . . ." Ryan trailed off as she glared up at him, mockingly.
"As if." She laughed, kissing his lips gently, letting the blanket fall off of her naked body.
**END OF FLASHBACK***
Ryan couldn't really remember why they had fought that night.
Did he leave the lights on again in the car?
Did he forget to buy her the fat free milk?
Whatever it was, it was probably something petty and dumb.
All their fights were petty and dumb.
And she always had to start them.
It just got real old, real fast.
That's why you left her, Ryan thought.
And he was a happier man now. A better man. A single man.
Ryan looked around the shabby motel room and closed his eyes again, remembering the way she looked in his arms.
Yeah, one out of three ain't bad.
***ANOTHER FLASHBACK***
"Where are you going?" Marissa's eyes tore through Ryan's, making his heart feel heavy in his body.
"To Sandy and Kirsten's. I've had enough." Ryan felt his tongue burn with the sight of her heart breaking.
He gripped onto his suitcase tighter and opened the door, watching billions of thoughts race through her head.
She pleaded with him, practically begged him to stay.
He had heard it all before.
"I'll change, Ryan. I love you, Ryan. I'll do anything for you, Ryan. I won't drink anymore, Ryan. I won't kiss Luke, again Ryan. I won't tell Summer about our sex life, Ryan. I won't throw out your comic books, Ryan."
He was so sick of it. Sick of being lied to. Sick of having empty promises.
He loved her. A lot. But love couldn't make him happy, not right now.
And he just knew he had to get away.
That's why he stepped out that door, even though this was the part where they would jump each other and have fabulous make up sex.
He was breaking the cycle.
But why did he feel like shit?
Because he wanted to be with her, he did. He loved her. She loved him. Couldn't he ignore the fighting?
**END OF FLASHBACK**
"Shit, Ryan." He said out loud to himself, feeling kind of awkward in his motel room. "Don't keep lying to yourself, man."
'I didn't leave because of her picking fights. I didn't leave because of her lying with empty promises. He *could* ignore all that petty crap. He couldn't ignore his cold feet. And with the wedding so close, he had to break free, no matter how much he loved Marissa Cooper. That's why he spelled her name wrong on the invitations. He was no idiot; he knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote 'Marissa Cocker'. Did she actually think he could spell Cooper wrong? He did it to buy some time. Maybe his cowardice would go away, but it didn't'.
He just wasn't ready to get married yet.
"Wish I told you that." He said to Marissa's picture, laid across the floor, before shutting off his light and drifting asleep.
{A Sequel To Merry Christmas!}
{Disclaimer} I own the OC and Seth Cohen. Oh, and I'm a pathological liar.
{A/N} REVIEW. FEEDBACK. REVIEW.
{Chapter 4: Ryan's Cold Feet}
Ryan looked down at the pile of papers in his lap.
Another Friday at home, trying to get some pointless paperwork done.
Well, it wasn't exactly pointless, since Kirsten had left to visit her grandchildren in Boston. She asked him to tie up some loose ends with their new client and so here he was, forcing himself to do paperwork while picking at some take out and watching 'Clueless'.
He wasn't really watching the movie; he just liked having background noise.
But as he geared his head up towards the screen out of pure boredom, he immediately regretted it. He watched the main character chat into a cell phone and walk like a runway model while she criticized high school boys.
Ryan chuckled out loud as she spat the familiar 'as if' and threw a shoe at the cheap TV, which made it instantly shut off.
Back to paperwork.
"As if." Ryan found himself saying out loud. It sent a eerie familiar chill down his spine and he reached towards his nightstand, pulling out a tiny picture of himself, with her.
He cast the papers aside, sighing as he leaned back on the uncomfortable mattress, gazing at the picture in his hands. He hated how empty his bed felt at that moment. He threw the picture to the floor and closed his eyes, listening to the gentle hum of the mini-fridge.
***FLASHBACK***
"We really need to stop fighting." Ryan announced as he grabbed the spoon from Marissa, plunging it into the tub of Ben and Jerry's they had between them.
"We really should." Marissa smiled, grabbing the spoon back as soon as he was done.
She stroked her naked leg against his, licking the ice cream off the spoon.
"Why does sex make you so hungry?" Ryan asked, stroking his leg back on hers as he threw the empty tub towards the floor.
"Not just any sex. Great, amazing, make up sex." Marissa grinned, inching closer to him so she could feel that familiar spot beneath the crook of his arm.
"Didn't realize I was such a stud . . ." Ryan trailed off as she glared up at him, mockingly.
"As if." She laughed, kissing his lips gently, letting the blanket fall off of her naked body.
**END OF FLASHBACK***
Ryan couldn't really remember why they had fought that night.
Did he leave the lights on again in the car?
Did he forget to buy her the fat free milk?
Whatever it was, it was probably something petty and dumb.
All their fights were petty and dumb.
And she always had to start them.
It just got real old, real fast.
That's why you left her, Ryan thought.
And he was a happier man now. A better man. A single man.
Ryan looked around the shabby motel room and closed his eyes again, remembering the way she looked in his arms.
Yeah, one out of three ain't bad.
***ANOTHER FLASHBACK***
"Where are you going?" Marissa's eyes tore through Ryan's, making his heart feel heavy in his body.
"To Sandy and Kirsten's. I've had enough." Ryan felt his tongue burn with the sight of her heart breaking.
He gripped onto his suitcase tighter and opened the door, watching billions of thoughts race through her head.
She pleaded with him, practically begged him to stay.
He had heard it all before.
"I'll change, Ryan. I love you, Ryan. I'll do anything for you, Ryan. I won't drink anymore, Ryan. I won't kiss Luke, again Ryan. I won't tell Summer about our sex life, Ryan. I won't throw out your comic books, Ryan."
He was so sick of it. Sick of being lied to. Sick of having empty promises.
He loved her. A lot. But love couldn't make him happy, not right now.
And he just knew he had to get away.
That's why he stepped out that door, even though this was the part where they would jump each other and have fabulous make up sex.
He was breaking the cycle.
But why did he feel like shit?
Because he wanted to be with her, he did. He loved her. She loved him. Couldn't he ignore the fighting?
**END OF FLASHBACK**
"Shit, Ryan." He said out loud to himself, feeling kind of awkward in his motel room. "Don't keep lying to yourself, man."
'I didn't leave because of her picking fights. I didn't leave because of her lying with empty promises. He *could* ignore all that petty crap. He couldn't ignore his cold feet. And with the wedding so close, he had to break free, no matter how much he loved Marissa Cooper. That's why he spelled her name wrong on the invitations. He was no idiot; he knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote 'Marissa Cocker'. Did she actually think he could spell Cooper wrong? He did it to buy some time. Maybe his cowardice would go away, but it didn't'.
He just wasn't ready to get married yet.
"Wish I told you that." He said to Marissa's picture, laid across the floor, before shutting off his light and drifting asleep.