Note: Second part at last. Thanks to my reviewers and encouragers. ^_^ And to Margit and Aaerdan for beta, editing, etc, etc.
Second note: I KNOW that Kenshin can write. But, given that he didn´t have much time to learn, and that in the manga they laugh a lot at his writing, I assume his notions were.far from perfect.
Quiet Life II: Harvest Time
II: Family Things.
The next day was one of the very rare occasions where not only Tomoe, but also Kenshin overslept. It had to be Miyoko´s insistent tugging on her arm what woke her mother up on that sunny morning, and, as soon as she succeeded locating herself, she could not suppress a sigh of consternation.
"It´s late." Miyoko´s voice sounded with a trace of petulant recrimination. The girl was sitting cross-legged on the floor, still in her sleeping yukata, and her violet eyes were adamantly fixed on her. "The sun is high in the sky, I went outside to see it."
"I returned late last night, and your mother waited for me," Kenshin explained, getting up beside his wife and suppressing a gasp when his body did not react quite as it should. As Tomoe thought then, when she stole a glance from him, last night had taken a bit of its toll on him. He didn´t look bad, yet he didn´t look well either, and he certainly was somewhat pale and swollen. Maybe that could mean that he was starting to get somewhat out of practice, since the Kenshin of the Bakumatsu, she knew it from her own experience, had been as deadly as ever even after going out to drink.
Or, then again, she rectified, maybe it was just that what he had drunk had been much more now than back then, allowing himself to somewhat loosen his grip on his precious self-control as he saw himself surrounded by happy, peaceful and simple villagers. If it had been like this, she thought, she would be very glad for him, for it would have been an achievement definitely worth the hangover.
"Well." she said, getting up with some effort and reaching for her shawl. "Let´s go, Miyoko-chan, your father has to change."
"Yes, Mother," the girl replied meekly. As both walked towards the kitchen, though, the cunning little imp lost no time before giving Tomoe one of those dreaded inquisitive glances again.
"What is it?" her mother asked her in a tone that, though inexpressive, gave some indices of annoyance.
"Father is. weird this morning." Miyoko whispered back, a careful glance over her shoulders to be sure that she was not heard. "Did he. did he really do the same that you did in grandaunt Kaede-san´s wedding?"
Once more, Tomoe could not help getting very red. Unfortunately enough for her, now there was no darkness to hide it from her daughter´s eyes, and she felt more than left in evidence.
"What did I tell you yesterday, Miyoko? He´s fine, you´ll see. As for that incident, it happened long ago and it´s nothing worth remembering, repeating, or being proud about!"
"So it´s a bad thing what Father and you did?" Miyoko asked incredulously, as if the very notion was impossible. This time, Tomoe could not suppress a sigh, thinking on all the things about them that the girl didn´t know.
"I should not have got drunk in my aunt´s wedding. It was bad what I did, and I was sorry afterwards," she said. "But your father´s case was different. He was in a feast where everybody was meant to be drunk, and he didn´t get drunk anyway."
"Yomo-san had already warned me of the intention of half the village of getting me drunk, once and for all," a voice corroborated her as Kenshin emerged dressed from behind the screen. Tomoe felt her heart skip a beat, realizing that if he had had time to hear that, he would probably have heard an allusion to her own shameful confession, too. Though, well, it was not as if he hadn´t seen her drunk before. "And yet, I could not elude all contests."
"Oh. I see you´re already dressed," she noticed a bit lamely. "I´m. well, I´m going to prepare breakfast." she added, going away before anything else was said.
"Fine. And, good morning, Miyoko-chan," Kenshin greeted his daughter, turning towards her. Miyoko answered his greeting, though the innocently curious way in which she kept staring at her father would have been labelled by her mother as "decidedly rude" if she had been there at the moment. Kenshin just smiled, and patted her head.
"After all the premature stimulation you´re receiving, I only hope that you can hold your sake better than your mother," he muttered absentmindedly, walking past her towards the other side of the house.
* * * * *
Just after they finished breakfast, the family went outside the house to continue their own harvest of daikon. The air was cold, but, as Tomoe could notice with relief, there were no clouds in the sky. It had rained quite a deal in the last week, keeping them from their task, and they couldn´t delay its completion anymore.
"Do you think we will finish them today?" she asked, mentally sighing as she went on her knees and felt the humid earth on them. Her clean, prim mind had got pretty much used to it meanwhile, but to be wholly used one day was quite another matter.
"We´ll try," Kenshin answered with a smile. He was already focused on his task, and, Tomoe thought ruefully, nothing, hangovers, headaches, cold, wind, rain, darkness or humid earth on his kimono would deter him from it. If she could only have half of his strength and dedication.
"See, Mother! I got one, too!" Miyoko cried at that moment, showing her rounded trophy in triumph. Her cheeks glowed red, and her breath came out heavy from the effort of pulling the thing out from the earth.
"Oh, dear, it´s big!" Kenshin´s eyes widened exaggeratedly. "Did you really dig it out alone?"
Miyoko giggled, and ran towards her father to show him the marks on her hands. Kenshin stared at them pensive for some seconds, though soon snapped out of it, and smiled.
"Wrap your hands in this," he told her quietly, handing her a piece of cloth he had been using to keep his long hair away from his face. "You´re doing very well, Miyoko-chan."
The girl beamed at the praise.
"For you," she said, and left the daikon on his lap. "I will have lots more soon."
"What you should really do is eat them once they´re cooked," Tomoe intervened then, if just to hide a feeling of warmth that had assaulted her. Immediately after, though, she wondered if it hadn´t rather sounded as if she was jealous.
"I´ll give the next to you, Mother," Miyoko promised her with a conciliating smile.
* * * * *
At mid-morning, Tomoe went inside to start preparing their food, and Miyoko, as always, took to running from one parent to another. In the middle of the cutting of vegetables, the woman could hear someone´s voice talking with her husband outside, and paused in his task for a moment to peer through one of the windows.
There was a man there, the wandering seller as she could guess by looking closer. She saw Miyoko, too, preparing to run inside to tell her about the news, but, surprisingly enough, Kenshin stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder.
Oh, dear, she thought. Conspiring again?
Still, if Tomoe had learned something for sure, it was that curiosity in a woman of her age was not proper. Shaking her head, she left her vantage point and continued cutting vegetables as if nothing had happened, until Kenshin and Miyoko came in by themselves minutes later with the baskets.
"It smells good already." her husband commented appreciatively. Tomoe dismissed it with a smile of regret.
"It needs much more time to even start looking edible. Sorry."
"We´ve collected more daikon than ever this morning, thanks to Miyoko-chan´s help," Kenshin continued, changing of subject. His wife felt then a distinct sensation about him, as if he had the intention of telling her something but could not do it yet. "Miyoko-chan, go fetch the last basket and bring it inside."
As soon as the girl ran off, Tomoe turned back to her husband with a slightly inquisitive glance. He gave a sigh, and fixed his eyes on hers.
"I couldn´t tell you before," he started with some awkwardness. "but I´m sorry for last night. I. I was in control, but not wholly so... it was a strange sensation."
Oh, so it was that. The woman couldn´t help but smile.
"You were as free as I'd wish you to be. A bit more smelly than what I'd wish you to be, though. if you will excuse me for the remark."
Kenshin shook his head, turning back from her to sit in front of the table. Tomoe could not see it, but she assumed he was still awkward in spite of her encouraging comment.
"I must confess I enjoyed myself," he muttered at last. "That I was not ashamed of having lost part of my control. It was. the first time in my life I felt like this."
Tomoe arched her eyebrow.
"Are you apologizing for enjoying yourself?"
"With such lack of self-discipline how can I expect to atone?"
Both their gazes locked in that moment, and for some time both held them in silence. Finally, Tomoe turned back, and wiped her hands in a dirty piece of cloth.
"Like you yourself taught me. You showed me that in spite of what I had done to you, you had no interest in seeing me in pain. That to have me amending my wrongs towards you with guilt and sadness in my eyes wouldn´t make you nearly as happy as my smile. Are you any different from me?"
"Yes," Kenshin said, losing no time to take the cue." Of course I am different from you. Your case was a personal matter, and it was solved between two people who had the courage to listen to each other and defy the rest. But I hurt many people, and therefore I must help many people."
"And make many people happy?" Tomoe inquired. A bit puzzled, Kenshin seemed to think for a moment, though he ended by nodding in admittance.
"I suppose so. But what.?"
"The villagers," she explained. "Forgive me, but I´m sure that to see you among them, sharing their merriment for once, was a pleasant surprise that brought laughter to many of them. Those things matter, too. And when you came here happy, do you know what? It mattered to me as well."
Kenshin did not answer for a while, though to Tomoe it was obvious that he was pondering what she had just said. Encouraged, she decided to continue.
"When I felt lost and scarred because of .," here, her hesitation was evident, "because of the war, you smiled to me, and you gave me my life back. Even today, you give me warmth because you´re able to smile more than what I do. Please. smile more often, not only to us, but also with us! I´m sure that this must help people more than to fight with the sword."
Almost ashamed of the feelings she had unintentionally put in her words, Tomoe fell silent again, as Kenshin dusted his kimono and got up in slow movements. When he opened his mouth, she could check that his voice came out hoarse, but in his eyes there was a different light from before. almost as if he was sad.
"I won´t ever be able to give you the smile that you´re seeking and that you deserve, Tomoe," he said, with sincere regret. She swallowed hard, looking down. "But if I was close yesterday night, I rejoice, and I even promise I´ll cease feeling ashamed of it. By the way. where did Miyoko go?"
"Oh. uh? She has just dropped the basket and now the daikon are rolling down the slope, or so it seems from here," Tomoe answered as she checked on her daughter through the window. "And, of course, now she´ll say that it wasn´t her fault. Excuse me. I´m going to save the fruits and to give her an earful."
"No. You´re busy now," he stopped her before she could even clean her hands again. Without giving her the chance to say anything else, he slid the shoji behind his back, and in front of Tomoe´s pensive face.
The woman stayed there for some moments, in silence. Only when she could see her husband´s figure running towards the daikon she seemed to snap away from her musings, but there was still a lingering worry in her face as she turned back towards her unfinished cutting task.
One day, I swear I´ll break your resistance, she thought to herself, unknowingly paraphrasing the thought that somebody else had had long ago, in an Otsu cottage.
* * * * *
Kenshin recovered the daikon so quickly that Tomoe even had the suspicion that he had used his Hiten Mitsurugi speed. Scarcely four or five minutes later, he was already back, the basket in his hands, and Miyoko trailing behind.
"Miyoko." she started in a serious tone. But, to her great surprise, Kenshin didn´t let her continue, and hurried immediately to get something from the back of the house.
"I fell," the girl explained in a shaky tone. Sniffling a bit, she lifted her kimono and showed her a fresh bleeding wound on her knee. Upon seeing it, Tomoe´s eyes widened, first in astonishment, and then in worry and anger.
"Don´t tell me! Running down the slope again, weren´t you? Miyoko, how many times have I told .?" Noticing that the child was just at the point of bursting into tears, though, she left the sentence unfinished, and knelt to embrace her. "Oh, dear. I want you to be careful, why can´t you? You can fall down like the daikon did. Don´t you understand?"
"Ow." Miyoko complained in a tiny voice, signalling with her head towards the wound that Tomoe was unwittingly pressing against her own body. Her tears were silent; not once, since she was a baby, had she cried noisily.
Like her mother.
"Come here, Miyoko-chan," Kenshin intervened then, his medicine things in hand. Tomoe wiped off the girl´s tears a bit, and nudged her towards her father.
"I know this has been an accident," he began in a soft voice, while he worked and Miyoko had to do really weird things with her face to avoid screaming. "Sorry, Miyoko-chan. This has been an accident, but you can avoid accidents if you´re more careful."
"But I did not complain!" the girl argued between clenched teeth. Tomoe could not avoid rolling her eyes at this.
"I prefer you thoughtful and prudent rather than brave," Kenshin said, throwing a meaningful look in Tomoe´s direction.
"I´m sorry."Miyoko gave a wince as Kenshin finished adjusting the bandage. "I´m really sorry! I. I promise I won´t do it again."
Oh, yes, you will, her mother thought knowingly. For her, it was evident that Miyoko´s dismay would only last until the next time she was alone and had the chance of a thrilling run downwards. Still, she knew that Kenshin believed otherwise, constant and high minded as he was.
"Well," she announced, "lunch is almost ready. Sit down, please. By the way, I almost forgot. The wandering seller was here this morning, wasn´t he?"
"Uh? Oh, yes, he was! With the fuss, I had almost forgotten."
Sure that it would be useless to try discovering the hint of a secret in Kenshin´s eyes, Tomoe looked into Miyoko´s instead, and saw there some trace of a mischievous glint. Shaking her head, she turned back again to continue filling the bowls.
I hope he doesn´t get me any white plum essence again, she muttered to herself with a sigh. He wouldn´t understand that it gives me bad memories..
"Did you cook one of the daikon I picked, Mother?" Miyoko asked in expectation. Kenshin nodded emphatically, and smiled as she flashed a triumphal grin.
That smile.
It was true, Tomoe thought then, in realization. Though there was plenty of warmness in the smile, Kenshin had been right when he had said that it was not whole, but somewhat held back by an invisible ghost of regret . Strong as he was, and eager to shield her and to protect her happiness, he was only human.
A human, trying to repair what he had done.
"Would you.," she started, somewhat hesitantly as the idea came unbidden to her mind. "Would you like to have writing lessons this afternoon?"
Kenshin´s eyes widened. For a moment, it almost looked as if he was going to accept, but, merely instants later, the spark was already dead. He shook his head in apology.
"I can´t, Tomoe. I have to resume the work for the community tomorrow morning, and we haven´t picked up all the daikon yet."
"I can do it alone," Tomoe argued, putting the food on the table.
"I also have to visit Hachiro-san and others, who will be ill after yesterday´s abuse. I promised his wife."
"You lucky!" Miyoko muttered with an audible sigh. Her mother, exceptionally, did not pay her attention, but lowered her eyes and joined her hands through the crevices of her fingers.
"I´m sorry. I´m. I´m just stressing you, am I not?"
"But I´ll promise to you too that I´ll get to it one day," Kenshin continued, as if he hadn´t even heard her self-accusation. "By the way, Tomoe. did you know that several women in the village have asked me to bring you to their houses to teach their children?"
"Wh. what?" Now, it was her turn to look puzzled. and very so, one could say from the way in which she opened and closed her mouth for a while. "Me? A. and what did you say?"
"That you were busy right now, but that you would surely be delighted to drop in sooner or later," he answered with an amused expression. "You would, wouldn´t you?"
"Uh.," Tomoe still hesitated, her mind slowly processing the irony of her situation. In which precise moment had she become the one who.? "Well, in fact. why not? If you wish me to."
"Oh, my.. Looks as if someone in the village is in serious trouble!" Miyoko stated, rolling her eyes.
This time, her mother´s severe look came with at least a whole minute of delay.
(the end)