Hey! Hey! Back again for the second part of Diaries, secrets and lies, seen as you all wanted this to continue! Well so be it!!! XD okay this time it's Squall's POV, I wonder what he has to say ^_~ Enjoy!

Chapter 2 Squall's diary and Irvine's troubles

Dear diary

I am not having a good day today, I fact, I'm not sure I can remember the last time I had a good day, It seems like an eternity away, okay I'll admit I'm a lot happier than I was when I wasn't with Riona, but...I'm having some serious problems, no it's not Riona, not this time, its me. Sound strange? Yeah it is, even for me, now don't get me wrong, I love Riona, but not as a lover or a girlfriend, I love her as a sister, and that's all, I don't get it, I thought there was more to it when we first met and she made me dance with her...but...now all the threats of Ultimacia have gone, I guess all the romance has fizzled out.

Riona doesn't see it like that, I think she's still in love with me, and it hurts to think that I don't feel the same, and I'll hurt her if I tell her...It really hurts, no one really knows, well apart from Selphie, I don't know HOW she knows, according to her I told her on my 18th birthday while I was drunk out of my mind, that's why this year I'm vowing to spend my birthday alcohol free, but then again, if Seifer gets involved, my idea's might go out the window...

But yeah Selphie knows I don't love Riona, and she's promised not to tell anyone...I think...I think I'm gay...or maybe Bi, I don't know, I'm so unsure right now, not that I've had much time to dwell on it, I've been so busy lately, and Riona insists that we spend any of our limited spare time together, not that I mind, but I keep noticing things...like how much of a cute ass Zell has (God forbid, if Zell or Riona ever reads this-I'm sorry!) or how much of a great body Seifer has (If Seifer finds out he'll probably cut me up with Hyperion) but that's not all of it, the person I'm attracted to the most, is the person I see the least.

Irvine, Irvine Kinneas. Yeah, The same sharpshooter who fucks a different women each day, no one has any idea how jealous I feel when a girl is in his arms, even if it's just a friendly hug with Selphie or Quistis, It just makes me want to push them off of him and hold him to me, make sure that everyone knows he's mine, but I cant...Hyne, I don't know what it is about him...wait, scratch that, I do, it's the fact he's good looking, has charm and wit and absolutely oozes sex appeal. Sounds really sad doesn't it? I'm infatuated with a guy who is as straight as he could possibly be...or is it love? I can't help but wish that maybe he swings both ways? Who knows? Only he does and I sure as hell won't be able to find out any time soon, I'm that busy...I'm so tired...

Time to sign off, I'll write again soon

Squall Leonhart.

~Normal POV~

Squall rubbed his eyes tiredly, as he shut the small red leather bound book with a muffled snap, then dumped that and the pen to the confines of the bottom of his drawer in his desk. The brunette gunblader sighed again leaning his head back slightly; he felt so tired, but he had a five mile high stack of paper work to deal with; one of the con's of becoming the commanding officer of the SeeD's.

With a scowl at the paperwork, Squall picked up the first sheet of paper and read it, before shaking his head in disbelief, scrunching it up and throwing the ball of paper over his head, before it landed neatly in the waste paper basket on the other side of his office.

It wasn't long before Squall's waste paper basket was full, the brunette yawned again and looked at the clock blearily, but his eyes were too tired to read the hands of the clock. Squall shook his head and pondered on what to do. 'Maybe I should leave the rest for Xu to sort out tomorrow; it sure will be a whole lot better for me...' Squall's thoughts stopped as he felt a pair of slim hands wrap around his shoulders in a loose hug.

"Squall honey, I don't mind you working so late, but now it's nearly three in the morning, and you look exhausted, leave it for tomorrow, come and get some sleep" Squall tilted his head back to look at the tired face of Riona, who by some miracle, was still managing to smile weakly at him at this time in the morning.

Squall, blinked tiredly at her and managed to smile back at her, before Riona placed a small peck on his lips, and grabbed the brunette's hand, virtually hauling him out of his chair by force and pushing him onto the bed. Squall didn't complain, he was too tired to protest and argue about Riona fussing over him; he just let Riona help him undress and get him into bed. Riona smiled down at him and stroked his hair gently as he fell asleep. "What are we going to do with you Squall? You work too much for you own good, so what are we going to do with you?" Squall managed to hear her whisper, as the soothing feeling of Riona's slim fingers in his hair lulled him to a dreamless sleep, a small smile on his lips.

And all the while he dreamed of Irvine.

Riona stood as soon as she knew the brunette gunblader was fast asleep and moved over to the settee in the brunette's living room, a blanket in tow; despite the fact that Riona and Squall were together, Squall still liked to sleep in his own bed alone, and Riona didn't mind; It made her feel privileged that she was aloud to sleep in the same room as him, let alone in the same bed.

Riona chucked to herself as she snuggled into the covers, even though what had happened with Ultimacia and Seifer had brought Squall out of his brooding shell quite a bit, he still was a very private person, and Riona was used to it all by now, she knew she couldn't change him, it was a part of his personality, it was just the way Squall was.

'But...he has been acting differently lately, not anything big, just small things, like avoiding everyone more...mind you we've all been busy, but Zell said, that when he passed Squall and said hi to him on the way to the cafeteria, Squall completely ignored him, like he wasn't there? Why would Squall do that? Zell's his best friend!' Riona frowned then shook her head, she was too tired to dwell on Squall's strange new habits right now, and then with a sigh she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

~Morning~

Irvine cracked an eye open and groaned, shutting them again tightly as the strong sunlight that was drifting through the curtains, abused his sensitive eyes. Irvine sat up slowly and carefully, as to not wake Selphie up; the young girl had cried herself to sleep in Irvine's arms the night before, and the sharpshooter didn't have the heart to wake her up at such a late hour, so he snuggled up to her and both slept on the bed.

The brunette sighed looking at Selphie's peaceful frame gently, before he stood and headed to his bathroom. Irvine splashed water and his face and looked at himself in the mirror. /Heh, look at yourself Irvine, you're in love with an ice prince who's already taken...and you lied to Selphie, you want more than just knowing he's happy!/ Irvine sighed as his inner voice intruded his broodings.

'Of course I want more than that! But I can't have it, I know that and I can deal with it! I'm coping now, like I told Selphie just knowing he's alive and happy is enough! And it's not like I can approach him or touch him, I mean Squall is hardly the most touchable person in the world, I can hardly touch him and make it look innocent as it is!' Irvine bit back mentally, his hands clenching tightly on the white porcelain sink, he could hear his inner voice laughing at him. 'Just shut up! The only thing I can do is to stay away from him, but if I do, will it just make things worse?'

Irvine waited for his inner voice to answer but it didn't; it didn't have the answer to the question. The brunette sighed and reached for his toothbrush, at least Selphie was here for him, she was his one and only best friend. "Irvy?" Irvine smiled weakly at Selphie's muffled call; sometimes Selphie was just too cute for her own good. 'Yeah she's like a little sis to me'. The brunette squeezed toothpaste onto his brush before he answered Selphie's tired call. "I'm in the bathroom Selph, just a sec"

Ten minutes later the sharpshooter was washed dressed and ready for his first and only class of the day: GF and magical Theory. Irvine groaned; he loathed this class, part of the reason why he was doing it again, he had failed this class twice before in Galbadia Garden, and this was his last chance to pass the exam in Balamb or Headmaster Cid would revoke his SeeD status. Selphie looked over Irvine's shoulder at the timetable he was holding and giggled. "Awwwww poor Irvy has theory...ha! It's double theory too! I guess they want you to catch up on everything you missed last year"

Irvine just groaned again and seriously considered going back to bed, but the warning look on Selphie's face told him there was no chance of that happening for a while. "Come on Irvine, it's not that bad, all you have to do is pass this last exam! Then you hardly have to study at all...well apart from the physical classes, beast theories and Magic sciences with Quistis, but hey! We only go 3 times a week! 1 class a day!" Irvine just stared at her and sighed, he knew she meant well by trying to cheer him up, but it still didn't help the gloomy prospect of having to go to the most boring class ever invented.

Selphie just giggled at the look on his face and grabbed his arm. "Come on cowboy! Or we'll be late for class! I have a physical class today!" Irvine just nodded, his thoughts wandering back to Squall, he had the strangest dream the other night, involving Squall, himself and a large tub of chocolate (I dreamt this too! I have really weird, perverted dreams ^_~) Irvine remembered hearing himself moan, he looked at Selphie and blushed at the memory and wondered if She had heard his moaning too.

The younger brunette dragged Irvine along the dorm corridor's, oblivious to the gunslingers blush, which Irvine was managing to force down, the young girl dragged Irvine around the hall and up the stairs to the elevator before pushing him inside. "Ack! I'm going to be late!" Selphie cried checking her watch "I should be at the front gates with Xu and the others by now! Good Look Irvy! And no skiving off!" Irvine managed to hear before the elevator door shut, Irvine chuckled and pressed the floor he wanted to go to, before he waited.

The brunette gunslinger was stood, bored as the elevator went upwards and Irvine looked at the floor tipping his hat forward over his eyes and leaning on the elevator wall as he sank deeper and deeper into thought. Then the elevator stopped, Irvine looked up at the floor map and frowned, his destination was two more floors up; then the doors opened and the brunette gunslinger came face to face with the last person he expected.

Squall Leonhart, seemed just as surprised to see him, as Irvine was to see the Gunblader, Irvine smiled to himself under his hat, Squall didn't show it on his face, but the surprise defiantly showed in his eyes. "Irvine" Squall addressed him coolly as he stepped into the elevator and pressed a button; a floor above Irvine, before leaning on the elevator and crossing his arms over his chest. The brunette sharpshooter grinned and tipped his hat at his senior officer all the while eyeing the gunblader up and down; Squall was wearing his usual leather pants and three belts, as well as some fingerless leather gloves, and a white shirt, the button undone at the top; Irvine resisted the urge to grab Squall's ass. "Commander" Irvine managed to reply politely as the elevator continued it's decent upwards "And how have you been?"

Squall rose and eyebrow at the sharpshooter, but answered anyway "Oh fine" the gunblader said sarcastically "Rushed of my feet, hoards of paper work to do, and now Cid wants to see me" Squall sighed 'That and I had the weirdest fucking dream I have EVER had about you and a tub of chocolate' Squall added mentally to himself. Irvine grinned at him and tipped his hat down, chuckling. Squall frowned and turned to Irvine. "What's so funny?" Irvine didn't answer at first; he just shook his head as the elevator stopped on his floor. "If only you knew Squall Leonhart, if only you knew..." With that Irvine stepped out and the doors closed before Squall had a chance to ask him about what he had said.

Irvine sniggered as he went to class. 'Irvine 1, Squall 0, If only he knew how much I wanted to grope him then...' Irvine smiled once more, his mood much more lightened than it was before, as he stepped up to the classroom door pausing at the door handle. 'Oh well, I'd better stop avoiding the inevitable' Irvine said as he opened the door and went to class...

~*~

"Ah Squall please sit down" Cid said as the brunette sat down, a scowl fixed on his face, Cid blinked in complete surprise, putting the pen he was holding, down on the desk and leaning back slightly in his armchair, wondering what or who had annoyed the brunette gunblader, but decided not to mention it...for now. "As you know Squall, you're our Commander and as Commander, you have certain...unexciting tasks to complete, but you are not alone. Xu and Quistis have offered to help you, yet you turn there offers down unless it is a serious emergency and the papers are falling from your desk and littering the fl-"

"Look, this is about my paper work right? Well forget it, I'm fine, I can manage on my own!" Squall said coldly, his stormy grey/blue eyes narrowing slightly. Cid didn't move, he just sighed and stood up from his desk, his hands clasped behind his back, walking towards the large window behind his desk. The headmaster didn't move or say anything as he stared out of his office, until he heard Squall stand. "Don't leave just yet Commander, I have orders for you" Squall rose an eyebrow as Cid turned around back to his desk and picked up a blue file on it before he handed it to Squall. "This is for you, you must follow these orders, and there are no exceptions, for you or the other four SeeD members that will be joining you"

Squall waited for more from the Headmaster, but Cid said nothing, frowning, the brunette gunblader opened the file and read its contents, his mouth dropping open as he read more; then he glared at the headmaster angrily, slamming the file back on the desk. "No way! I am NOT going!" Cid rose and eyebrow and chuckled to himself, which just seemed to make the gunblader even more angry, Squall clenched his hands into fists and slammed them down on Cid's desk making the headmaster's laughter stop immediately. "I am not doing this mission! Hell I don't know how you can even call it a mission!"

Cid smiled blandly and shook his head "Do you want to know the reason I'm sending you there?" The headmaster prodded the file gently with his finger "It was Riona, she came to me and told me that you have been up doing paperwork at late hours, and only last night, were up until three O'clock this morning doing it. Squall, even I don't stay up that late! And I'm the headmaster of this academy, your working way too hard, you need to relax, so go on this 'mission' before you brake down"

Squall glared and shook his head stubbornly, before he turned to walk out of the headmaster's office and Cid sighed "If you won't do it for you own good, then do it for your girlfriend Riona, and your friends, Zell, Irvine..." Squall froze and turned around slowly and noticed Cid's pleading face. Squall sighed and rolled his eyes. "What about here? The paperwork? The meetings?" Cid rose and eyebrow and smiled a little, before he turned back to his desk and sat back down in his chair. "Xu and Nida have volunteered to sort everything out while you are away, there is no need to worry" Squall sighed and looked at the file once more reading the contents of the blue folder carefully, before he looked up. "You said I could take four other SeeD's with me? Do I get to choose who?" Cid nodded his smile widening.

"Of course, the 'mission' wouldn't be half as fun if you went with people you didn't know" Squall sighed and nodded again, while he accepted defeat, and from the look on the headmasters face, everything was going to plan. The brunette sighed and flipped to the back of the folder and tore out the form, for his acceptance for going on this 'mission', he filled it in and signed it before handing it to the headmaster, who grinned. "I don't believe I'm dong this...this better be good, I'll call you tomorrow and tell you who I've chosen for this mission" Cid nodded as the brunette gunblader turned to walk out of his office. "You do that Squall, you do that"

Squall nodded and left, the blue file in his arms, he had a really bad feeling about this mission...

~*~

TADA! Done! *Yawns* I finished this at... 4:34 am, so be very grateful, bow down to me! ^_^ j/k. Ohh what's the 'mission' and who will Squall take with him? Well you guys can vote! Yes choose three characters from the following list, put them in a top 3 order and PLEASE give me a short reason why! Please, please, DO NOT vote for Irvine, coz he is defiantly gonna be there from the start, so following contenders you CAN vote for are:

Quistis Seifer Zell Selphie Riona Fujin Raijin

Lol yeah the usual! So people vote away! Unless I know I can't write up the next chapter, so get at it! ^^ R&R!!! bye!