Red Sign: The Mini-Musical

ACT II

THE THREE TOMES
or EGOMANIAC ROGUES, LOVECRAFTIAN
HORROR AND HERMETIC LOVESONGS, OH MY!

Rutor is having a extra-cheesy showdown with Frater Anson on a windy rooftop at midnight

RUTOR
I have not much crappier
A vampire hunter seen!
Red Sign would be happier
With someone cool, like me!

Frater waves the Ritual of the Red Sign and laughs

FRATER
I use it for vamp-baiting
And it works rather fine
See how you all come waiting
You slay-ees stand in line!

Rutor strikes a pose: hands on waist and an Horribly Intimidating Evil Glare

RUTOR
I am not an easy kill
For I'm a Warlock rogue!
If you fail to do my will
My magic I'll invoke!

The wind stops. Silence. Frater's lower lip begins to tremble. He starts laughing so hard his eyes well up with tears

FRATER (Amidst laughter)
An arrogant... rogue... Tremere... Oh boy, that's SO original... and SCARY...

Rutor looks really upset and proceeds to horribly kill Frater by boiling his puny mortal blood. Then he picks up the Ritual of the Red Sign and flashes an evil grin

RUTOR
There ya go kids, you have seen
The lesson of the week:
"Ego-stroking doesn't mean
The Ego-stroker's weak!"

Rutor tosses his hair, laughs disdainfully and then flies into the moonlit sky, Red Sign under one hand and the other streched straight in front of him. His long coat flaps in the wind and the Superman theme begins to play.


The next week...


Jen Smith is skipping down a brightly lit evening boulevard. She's holding the hand of an imagined companion and stops regularly to courtsey at people no-one else sees. In her other hand she's waving a stack of typewritten pages stapled together from one corner

JEN
I read the most wonderful play
It made me go rather insane
I identified
With people inside
Now I play a role night and day!

She spreads her arms and spins around a la Sound of Music while the entire imaginary cast of "The King in Yellow" is chanting 'Yah! Yah! Shub-Niggurath!' on the background

JEN
It's a Lovecraftian horror thing
Verses that no man was meant to sing
Twisting realities again
Chtulhu, R'Lyeh and Fhtang!

A shadowy figure starts closing in on her. She doesn't notice it and keeps singing

JEN
And soon that Man in Pallid Mask
Will come to fulfill any task
(The creature comes up to her. It's a bizarre half-man, half-woman hybrid. Jen is puzzled and continues:)
And is this odd soul
Asking for a role?

DUALITY
No, sweetie, I take - I don't ask

It stabs Jen with it's fleshcrafted arm and tears the script from her dead hands


A few months later...


An orientally decorated dojo. Cecilia Lyons is standing in the middle of the mat, next to Melissa Chong who has been bound to a chair

CECILIA (Spoken)
I really hate to do this. Can't you just tell me where you hid the Ex Libris Necro?

MELISSA (Hisses)
Never!

CECILIA (Dreamily)
But I have to get it for my Pooh-bear! I promised!

MELISSA
Pooh-bear?

CECILIA
Mmm, yes. Let me tell you about him:

She begins to sing wistfully as horror spreads in Melissa's eyes

CECILIA
The first [Time] our eyes met
I was lost for him to find
And since then I can't get
That sweet cutie off my [Mind]

Melissa's left eye begins to twitch)

CECILIA
He says I was too hot
So he [Forces] me away
Though [Entropy] will not
Ever hold my love at bay

Melissa breaks free of the chair and lunges at Cecilia, but is knocked down by a bright pink blast of ÜberCuteness, subconciously conjured by Cecilia's song

CECILIA
He is my Tenth Sphere
He is all I need
He is my Tenth Sphere
He makes me complete

Cecilia leans over poor Melissa, who's lying spastic on the floor. You could swear honey is dripping from her mouth

CECILIA
But it does not [Matter]
Even when we are apart
I'll keep us together
By [Correspondence] of hearts

Cecilia is surrounded by a heart-shaped halo. Melissa's ears are bleeding

CECILIA
He is not a young boy
My love's a man in his [Prime]
He thinks me a tomboy
But his [Spirit] will be mine

Millions of colourful bubbles float around Cecilia's pretty head. Melissa is having seizures and trashing violently about

CECILIA
He is my Tenth Sphere
My heart he will mend
He is my Tenth Sphere
He makes me Ascend!

MELISSA (Screams)
NO MORE! Please, I'll tell you!

Cecilia looks at her absent-mindedly

CECILIA
Huh? Are you sure? I still have one more Sphere to sing.

MELISSA (Sobbing)
Please, no. It's... It's in that chest over there. Just no more singing, I beg you...

Cecilia peeks into the chest and extracts a large dusty tome, which she lifts above her head, bursting into song

CECILIA
Now he'll surely want me as his wife
So happy for the rest of my [Life]!

Cecilia prances out, accompanied by shining rainbows
and Melissa is left gagging and wretching on the floor

MELISSA (Groan)
Lovecraftian my ass. THAT was true horror.

END OF ACT II