Last Time:
"Well," Nicole muttered under her breath, "I'm off to see the Wizard." Little did Nicole know was that she would be meeting a Wizard.
After what seemed like hours of walking, Nicole literally stumbled upon a small river. Nicole had been walking through the woods, in a somewhat fixed direction ...hopefully...when the forest suddenly stopped and the little river started...which preceded Nicole falling into said river.
"Stupid river!" Nicole yelled as she picked herself up out of the water. Trudging to the other side thoroughly soaked, Nicole did not notice the elegant rider sitting atop a pale horse that was watching her intently from further down stream.
"I don't know why I even came this way! I could have gone the other way and kept myself from taking that wonderful dive into Soggy Bottom River back there! But nnnnoooooo! I had to go this way and get myself lost, dunked, tired, and completely CRANKY!" The silent rider, whose face was hidden beneath a forest green cloak and hood, cocked their head and Nicole's antics. The rider went into the woods as Nicole did, following her from a distance while trying to determine where she was going. After a few minutes, the rider came to the obvious conclusion that Nicole knew not where she was going.
Deciding that Nicole was of no threat, the rider moved in closer to her, finally revealing himself to the wet and deranged teenager.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!! Don't sneak up on a person like that! You could have given me a heart-attack, you know!" After her initial scream, which caused the rider to wince in pain, Nicole realized that said rider was sitting on top of a horse unlike any that she had ever seen before.
The horse was magnificent in every way possible for an equine to be. Its body was sleek and well muscled; its mane and tail were as fine as silk and completely knot free......And its eyes were such a soft and intelligent shade of brown that it was as if the horse knew a valuable secret and could whisper it to you if it so wished. As for the rider, Nicole tried to see past the hood to gaze their face, but the shadows seemed to move, keeping the rider's face concealed.
"Why do you wander these woods?" The voice that spoke was as beautiful as the equine that carried its owner...soft, rich, and smooth. Nicole realized then that the rider was very familiar...in a strange and slightly terrifying way. Upon closer inspection, Nicole saw that the rider carried a bow and quiver over his shoulder that looked suspiciously like an Elven bow from the 'Lord of the Rings' movies.
"I-I'm...lost?" Nicole was not sure what was going on, nor did she know if she wanted to know...but she did know was that she did not want to upset this hooded one...in case he was an obsessed psychopath that would suddenly decide to shoot her with his very realistic looking bow.
"Are you in league with the Dark Lord, Sauron?" the rider's voice cut, suddenly holding an edge to it sharp enough to cut the silence of the forest around them. ......Strange, Nicole had not noticed it being quiet before......
'Yep! He's an obsessed psychopath! Just my luck. First I end up in a strange place, cut up my head, get myself lost in the woods, take a dive in a freezing cold river, and then run into a crazy nut that thinks he's in Middle-Earth! ......I'm having such a wonderful day...'
"No," Nicole bit back sarcastically, "I'm in league with Bob, the Bunny Lord!" The rider's equine tossed its head and made a soft nickering sound, almost as if it was laughing at what Nicole had said. As for the rider...they simply cocked their head in confusion before speaking again.
"...Do you jest, Human?" Nicole quirked an eyebrow at the 'human' comment, but kept the tart remark she had in check, still concerned about the stranger's bow. Instead she replied in an honest manner...
"Yes, O Hooded One, I jest. I've not had the best of days so far and you're not making it much better. Can you point me to the nearest highway or telephone? I need to find out where I am."
"I do not know what a 'highway' or a 'telephone' is, but I do know where you are. You are in the land of Rivendel, the Last Homely House, where Lord Elrond dwells."
"Yeah, sure. And I'm the Queen of Sheba," Nicole said and gave a mock curtsy, a sight to see since she wore wet pants. Afterwards she tried to rub her arms as she had started to lose feeling in them.
"Why would a Queen wand in such a state? Have you lost your host?" Nicole stared at the rider for a moment before scoffing in disbelief.
"Um...I was being sarcastic. Look...dude? If you can't help me than mara mesta and hira cuile (good-bye and get a life)." Nicole wondered if this nut knew what she had just said to it in Quenya, but she did not stick around long enough to find out. Nicole started forward again, moving away from the rider and further in the direction she had been heading in.
As Nicole continued to walk, she suddenly became aware of the sound of hoof-beats behind her. Casting an eye over her shoulder, Nicole saw that the strange rider had followed her!! Nicole stopped, turned, and with a look of pure wrath on her face, placed her hands upon her hips.
"Why are you following me?" Nicole asked with a low and dangerous voice.
"I am not following you, we simply happen to be heading to the same destination...Rivendell." Here the rider paused for a moment, studying Nicole from underneath their hood, before continuing, "How is it that you know the High language of the Elves?" The rider stopped once again beside Nicole, who still held her displeased poise.
"I studied it back home in my free time...and my entire vocabulary consists of around fifty words or so...so don't get excited." As Nicole finished, she stared at the hooded rider, seriously considering her options.
'What can it hurt? We're both heading in the same direction...and there's obviously something up ahead that this nut's heading to......Maybe it's a Lord of the Ring convention or something......Besides, if I ride behind him, that'll keep him from going for those arrows of his...The closer I am to danger, the further I am from harm.'
"Hey...I'm sorry for what I said back there and since...since we're going the same way, you think you can give me a ride? Walking around in soggy socks can't be good for a person's health," Nicole said, forgoing her pride for the sake of her health.
"I will...if the young Lady would tell me her name and where she hails from, for you accent intrigues me. I have heard none like it before," the rider replied in that constantly calm, and familiar, voice that was slowly beginning to irk Nicole.
"My name's Nicole Truelove. I'm from Missouri, USA. What about you? Man na esselya?" (What is your name?)
"I am Legolas, son of King Thranduil, who is the ruler of Mirkwood." At that, the mysterious rider pushed back his hood and revealed Orlando Bloom dressed in Elvin garb. Nicole simply stood there...staring, her mouth hanging open, ready to catch any passing flies.