(If you have the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack, play "Kidnap the Sandy Claws" while reading for maximum fulfillment.)
This one is based on the WW news ticker about a bunch of Sabbat raising hell in Paris. What was going through their minds? Let's find out...
"DESTROY THE MASQUERADE"
to the tone of
"Kidnap the Sandy Claws"
from the movie Nightmare Before Christmas
Paris. A pack of three Sabbat neonates, Lock [Nosferatu Antitribu], Shock [Tzimisce] and Barrel [Malkavian Antitribu] are hanging out in their haven. Suddenly there's a knock on the door. When they open it, no-one's around but a note is laying on the ground. The music starts to play. Shock picks up the note and shows it to others. On the note it reads, scrawled in big childish letters:
"To whom it may concern.
I was just thinking, wouldn't it be swell if
you could tear the Masquerade down in Paris?
I'd really appreciate it.
Love
Smiling Jack, Anarch Hero"
Lock, Shock and Barrel look suprised. They tiptoe back in to the haven.
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
Destroy fucking Masquerade?
LOCK
I wanna do it!
BARREL
It sounds great!
Shock starts waving the note
SHOCK
Jack said we should work together
BARREL
He's lost his mind
LOCK
I've lost my leather
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
That's even better
Wheeee!
La, la, la, la, la
Destroy the Masquerade
Strike a fatal blow
Use your fancy powers and
Make a damn good show
SHOCK
First, we're going to ram a stake
(She mock stakes Barrel)
Inside a Ventrue's heart and wait
When the sun is rising we will
Dump him in a public place
Lock pushes her aside
LOCK
Wait! I've got a better plan
To screw this Camarilla scam
Let's start a kinky vampire cult
And then we'll let the members talk
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
Destroy the Masquerade
Give it ugly scars
Make the mortal weaklings see
Who their masters are
SHOCK
And kick-ass members of Black Hand
Can take the whole thing over then
They'll be so pleased, I do declare
That they'll cook Villon rare
She tosses a dart a Francois Villons' picture hanging on the wall
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
Wheeee!
Lock pulls out a gun and points it at the Villon picture
LOCK
I say that we take a pistol
Aim it at the Prince and then
BARREL
Shoot three times and when he frenzies
Masquerade will be no more!
Shock slaps the pistol out of Lock's hand and jabs Barrel with a fleshcrafted knuckle spike
SHOCK
You're so stupid, think now
I we confront him so openly
He may use his Presence
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
And then make us bitches easily
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
Destroy the Masquerade
Throw it out the door
Why pretend we're humans when
We are so much more
Lock and Shock wrap their hands on each others shoulders
LOCK & SHOCK
Because Camarilla wankers
sure can't order us around
If I were one of those old farts
I'd get out of town
BARREL
They'll be so shocked by our success
Black Hand will grant a boon, I'll bet
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
Perhaps they'll make us members too
But NOT of Black Hand True
Ewww!
They start creeping around the haven menacingly
We are Cainite soldiers
And we fight our war at night
We do our best to raise hell
And stay on winning side
Shock looks at Lock and Barrel, bickering again
SHOCK
I wish my packmates weren't so sick
They look at her
BARREL
YOU are the sick one
LOCK
Stupid lick!
SHOCK
Shut up!
LOCK
Make me!
Shock leaps at her packmates and grabs them both
SHOCK
I've got something, listen now
This one is real good, you'll see
We'll find a lame kine gathering
With lots of yummy folk to eat
Now, in the crowd we'll wait and hide
And when you hear a yell from me
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
Release the beast you have inside
And maim some mortals
One, two, three
They burst out of the haven and on the streets
LOCK, SHOCK & BARREL
Destroy the Masquerade
Give the kine a scare
And if one or two survive
Drag them in your lair
They're running on the street, slashing at bystanders and making general havoc
Destroy the Masquerade
Rip it into shreds
Camarilla losers are
Left to shake their heads
Shock notices a political rally and tugs at Barrel's sleeve. He smiles and all three run into the fray
Destroy the Masquerade,
Set your nature free
If the cops are after you
Use Ce-le-ri-teeeeee!
Fade to black. Screams. Moans. Giggling.
Then in giant letters:
"GEHENNA: THE MUSICAL. COMING FEB '04"