HIEI'S HYPNOSIS @_@
Chapter Three: Hiei's
REvEnGe
. . .
The Next Day:
. . .
"Yusuke!" Three loud
knocks on the door followed the call.
Yusuke rolled over in his bed,
fully aware that somebody was at the door, but too tired to care. "Go
away!"
"Yusuke,
open up! This is important!" Came a
familiar voice.
Yusuke reluctantly got up and
went to answer the door. "It better be good," he said to Botan when he saw her standing at the door.
"Koenma
wants to see you," she explained. "I'm sure there's a very good
reason."
"All right, fine. Just let
me get dressed, okay?"
Less than a half hour later,
Yusuke, Kuwabara, Botan,
and Kurama were all gathered at Koenma's
desk. Hiei was nowhere in sight.
"Do you think he's still
mad about the tape thing?" Kuwabara wondered.
"He's probably plotting to
kill us this very minute," Yusuke answered calmly, which made Kuwabara even more nervous.
"Don't say that, Urameshi, he--he wouldn't! ...Would he?" He turned
with a questioning glance to Kurama.
"Hard to say," he
replied. They were interrupted by Koenma clearing his
throat loudly.
"I'm assuming none of you
know why you're here, correct?" He asked. All nodded. "Now I'm going
to ask you to have a seat on that couch over there, because there's something
you all need to watch."
"...Okay." Everyone
sat down on the couch, which had been placed in front of Koenma's
replacement television.
"Mind telling us what
we're watching?" Yusuke asked.
"It's...your new
mission," Koenma answered, and Yusuke could
swear he saw him wink at the doorway. Without another word, Koenma
held up the remote control and pushed the play button. Immediately, the four
began seeing a black and white swirling image on the screen, and soon they
found that they could not tear their eyes away from it. Koenma
then took over, telling them that when he snapped his fingers, they would all
fall into a deep, deep sleep and would wake up only when he snapped his fingers
again. Once they were all asleep, Koenma turned to
the doorway.
"Come on in, Hiei, they're all asleep!"
Hiei
entered the room, looking very pleased upon seeing his comrades knocked out on the
couch. The blue ogre was setting up a video camera in the corner of the room.
"So do you know what you
want to do to them?" Koenma asked.
Hiei
pulled out a thick notebook, smirking. "I have a few ideas." Koenma took the notebook and flipped through it.
"A FEW?
Every page is full, Hiei, you call that a few?"
He shook his head. "Sheesh, we don't have time
to do every one of them."
"I'm aware of that," Hiei said. "I've picked out all my favorites." He
reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, handing it to
Koenma.
Koenma
began reading them and started laughing out loud. "These are all very
good, Hiei. ...Oh, but we'll have to leave out
slitting the wrists, that one could get really messy." Hiei
looked a little disappointed, but said nothing. "So who's going to be the
first victim?"
"I was thinking we could
start with Kurama," he said. "Have him do
number five on that list."
"Alright," Koenma said with a laugh. "This oughta
be good... Okay, Kurama. When I snap my fingers,
you're going to wake up and be furious at what we've done to you, but when you
try to speak everything you say is going to come out in gangsta
talk. Oh, and you won't be able to get off the couch or use any of your
attacks," he added. "Just a precaution," he told Hiei. Koenma snapped his fingers,
and a second later Kurama began to awaken.
It only took him a second to
realize what was going on. He opened his mouth to say what would have been
"What have you done to me?" but instead it came out "Whatchoo do, muthafucka?" He
immediately clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Why
don't you tell us what's wrong, Kurama?" Hiei teased him, clearly enjoying it.
"The fuck you do to me, Hiei? The fuck you do? I'ma go
old schoo' on yo' punk ass,
muthafucka, I'ma go old schoo'!"
Hiei
began to laugh his evil laugh, you know the one. "Just try it, I dare
you!"
Kurama
struggled to get off the couch. "The fuck..." He realized he couldn't
move, so he tried to use one of his attacks. "Rose Fuckin' Whip!" But nothing happened. Meanwhile,
Hiei was laughing so hard he could barely breathe and
Koenma was in hysterics.
"I GONNA BUST A CAP IN YO
ASS, FOO'!" Kurama shouted at them.
Koenma
regained his composure enough to read the next thing off the list:
"Alright. Now Kuwabara, when you wake up
everything is going to be normal, except you're going to have a massive
migraine and when you put your hands on your head, you'll find that you won't
be able to remove them. When I snap my fingers you'll wake up." Koenma snapped his fingers, and Kuwabara
sat up, groggily.
"What...happened...?"
He asked, confused. "I have this really bad headache..." He placed a
hand on his forehead, to massage his throbbing head. But something was wrong...
Kuwabara tried to moved his hand and found that he
couldn't. "What the--" He jerked his hand, causing his head to be
yanked to the side. This made his headache worse. "Ow!"
He instictively put his other hand to the opposite
side of his head. Bad idea. "WHAT THE HELL IS
GOING ON!" He screamed as he pulled both arms in different directions,
causing his head to jerk back and forth. "WHY CAN'T I TAKE MY HANDS OFF MY
HEAD??"
Koenma
was in hysterics yet again, and Hiei was smirking at Kuwabara as he proceeded to make an idiot of himself.
"Let me see that
list," Hiei said, grabbing it from the
teary-eyed toddler. "Hn.
Who deserves ultimate torture next?" His eyes immediately fell upon the
sleeping Spirit Detective. Hiei grinned wickedly. "Yusuke. Now when I count to three, you're going to
wake up, and at first everything is going to seem normal... Then you're going
to notice that your seat is getting hotter and hotter with every passing
second. You will not be able to get off the couch, either. One...two...three."
Yusuke opened his eyes.
"What the...? Did I fall asleep? Was Koenma's
movie THAT boring?" He looked at Hiei, who was
giving him an evil grin, and then to Kuwabara, who
was clutching his head and swinging his upper body around like he'd gone mad.
Meanwhile, Kurama was also acting strange, yelling
the word "muthafucka" in every other
sentence and threatening to go "old school" on Hiei's
"punk ass." Koenma was rolling around on
the floor, laughing insanely.
"Hiei,"
Yusuke began, but suddenly stopped. "What the hell..." He looked down
at his seat.
"What's the matter, Spirit
Detective?" Hiei sneered.
"Oh...um, nothing,"
Yusuke shrugged it off. Seconds later, though, he began to freak out.
"Okay, I KNOW something is wrong here! This couch is really hot! ...What's
going on? ...Ouch, that kind of hurts... Ow! ...OW!
...OH MY FREAKING GOD, MY ASS IS FRICKING BURNING!" He screamed. Hiei began to laugh. "IT'S NOT FUNNY HIEI YOU
ASSHOLE!" Yusuke yelled at the fire demon. He tried desperately to get off
the couch. "I can't move? OH PERFECT!" He kept struggling as the
temperature increased on his rear. "THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE! I'M GOING TO
KILL YOU HIEI YOU BASTARD!"
Hiei
smirked again. "Next victim..." His eyes fell upon Botan, the only one who was still asleep. "I've got a
perfect one for the woman," he said to himself. "Botan. When you wake up, you're going to suddenly
think you've just slept with Koenma...in his toddler
form!" Hiei laughed wickedly and almost forgot
to wake her up. "When I count to three you're going to wake up. One, two, three."
Koenma
glanced up when he heard his name. "Hiei!
That isn't very nice!"
"Hn. That's why I'm doing
it," Hiei shot back.
"I WAS TALKING ABOUT
ME!" He shouted, but then became intrigued as Botan
started to wake up. She sat up and stared blankly into space for a minute
before things began to register.
She saw Koenma watching her and then something seemed to click.
"...Oh..." She started to shake her head. "No, no, it couldn't
be... I didn't...did I?" She glanced up to Koenma for confirmation. After recieving
a 'do-it-or-die' glare from Hiei, Koenma
sighed heavily and nodded slowly. "Oh no!" Botan cried out. "I--I--how could I?" She buried
her face into her hands. "NO! No, no, no, no,no! ...Was I drunk? Have I been drinking? I don't
remember what happened earlier today. I remember going into Koenma's
office and...OH MY GOSH!!" She shook her head
violently in disbelief. "OH THAT IS SO SICK AND WRONG!"
Koenma gave her an indignant look. "Well!"
Meanwhile, somebody was in
severe pain: "OOOWWWWWW FUCK! MY ASS IS NUMB!" Yusuke shouted. Kuwabara was having an attack in the corner of the room,
ramming headfirst into the wall repeatedly. Apparently he was driving himself
mad. Either that or it was a foolish attempt at getting his hands to come off
his head. Kurama was screaming curses at them all
from his place on the couch.
"I
have one more before the finale," Hiei said to Koenma.
"Shoot,"
Koenma shrugged. "Long as I
get it all on tape!"
Hiei turned to the others and snapped his fingers. They all
instantly stopped doing whatever they were doing and slumped back onto the
couch (except Kuwabara, he fell over backwards onto
the floor). "Kurama, Yusuke,
and Kuwabara. When you wake up, you're all
going to feel an incredible urge to go streaking in Tokyo.
Kurama will no longer be a gangster. Yusuke, your ass
is still going to feel like it's burning. Kuwabara, you're hands will still be glued to your head. On
the count of three you'll all wake up. One...two...three."
Everyone
(minus Botan) sat up, looking confused. Yusuke
glanced at Kurama.
"Hey
Kurama, you know what? I feel like streaking for some
reason..."
"Really,
Yusuke? I was thinking of doing the exact same thing, although I cannot explain
why..."
Kuwabara sat up from the corner. "STREAKING
IN TOKYO!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. He quickly
removed his every article of clothing [AN: AAAHHHHH! SCARRED FOR LIFE! *covers
eyes*] and ran out the door, hands clutching his head again. "LAST ONE THERE
IS A WEAK PUNK!" He shouted over his shoulder.
Kurama and Yusuke exchanged glances. "Let's go,"
Yusuke said. "My ass is gonna frickin' burn up if I don't try to cool it off!"
Kurama leapt off the couch and ripped off his clothes. He turned
to Yusuke (facing the camera). "Are you coming?"
"HELL YEAH!" Yusuke responded, and threw off his
own clothes. The two of them raced out the door and immediately caught up with Kuwabara. "TOKYO
HERE WE COME!" They shouted. Hiei watched them
go, laughing evilly at how much they would be humiliated by this later. He was
very glad that none of them had thought to do that to HIM.
Meanwhile,
Koenma had turned on his big TV and was watching the
three nude detectives as they ran through the city, waving to people who stared
at them. They looked like they were having the time of their lives. Suddenly
the Channel 38 News helicopter appeared in the corner of the TV screen,
apparently filming the three delinquents: one screaming "YOU BETTA RECOGNIZE,
FOO'!", one with his hands apparently stuck to his face, and the third one
screaming, "IT'S BURNING IT'S BURNING IT'S BURNING!"
Koenma started to laugh again, and Hiei
couldn't help but chuckle [AN: I HATE that word, "chuckle" ugh, it
reminds me of something Santa Claus would do].
"Hiei, how are we going to get them back?" Koenma wondered.
"Oh,
they'll be back," Hiei assured him. Sure enough,
about an hour and thirty more News helicopters later, three exhausted young men
re-entered Koenma's office. Panting from all that
running, they all pulled their clothes back on and sat down onto the couch.
"Whew!"
Yusuke said. "That was fun! We should do it again sometime, huh
guys?"
"My
sentiments exactly," Kurama agreed.
"We
were on TV, too!" Kuwabara said excitedly.
"Did you hear me yell 'Hi mom!'?"
Wasting
no time, Hiei snapped his fingers and they all fell
asleep again. He re-read the long list of ideas, and decided on one that would
be perfect for the finale. "Everyone. When you
all wake up, you're not going to want to streak anymore, Kuwabara's
hands won't be glued to his head, and Yusuke's ass will no longer be burning.
Instead, you're going to see a coffin in the corner of this room. You're all
going to wonder why it's there and go look inside. When you do, you're going to
see a body--mine, to be precise. And then you're all going to see the real me
and think I'm a ghost. Understand?" Four heads nodded sleepily in
response. "Good. On the count of three you'll all wake up. One...two...three."
Kurama was the first to sit up. He seemed to notice
something in the corner of the room. "What...?"
Yusuke
and Kuwabara woke up next. They saw Kurama looking at an object in the corner. "What are
you staring at, Kurama?" They wondered. Then
they saw it for themselves. "What the heck?" They all slid off the
couch and wandered over to the black coffin, peering inside.
"Hiei!" Kurama gasped.
"Sh--shorty?"
Stammered Kuwabara. "Wh-what
h-happened to you?"
Botan woke up and went over to see what the commotion was
about. "Hey boys, what are you--Oh my gosh, Hiei!" She gasped and her hands went to cover her
mouth for some reason [AN: Why do people do that anyway?].
"...It
can't be." Yusuke shook his head sadly.
"It
is," Hiei told them. Four heads jerked around to
the spot where Hiei now stood, beside the
"coffin".
"It's
Shorty's ghost!" Kuwabara
cried out.
"That's
right, you incompetent!" Hiei snarled, doing an
excellent acting job (or was he
acting…). "I AM a ghost. I'm dead because of you fools!"
"What?"
Kurama was shocked. "But
how?"
"Hn. I found that stupid
tape," he said. "I brought it here to watch it. That was the biggest
mistake I've ever made..."
"You
mean...?" Yusuke trailed off as Hiei nodded.
"I
died out of shame from watching that tape!" He growled. "You think it's funny being the center of a joke?"
"Not
anymore," Kuwabara whimpered. "Are you mad?
Because we're really, really sorry..."
"What
do you think, you fool?!" Hiei snapped.
"Hiei...if I'd only known..." Yusuke sank to his knees.
He buried his face in his hands. "I--I can't believe that because of some
stupid joke, you're--" He started to get choked up and couldn't speak
anymore. Kurama bowed his head and said nothing,
while Kuwabara's shocked expression remained etched
onto his face. Botan's face was tear-stained.
"I
swear, I'm never going to do anything like this
again!" Kuwabara wailed. "I always made fun
of you, Shorty, but I'm gonna
miss you!"
Yusuke's
shoulders were shaking and his face was not visible, but he was obviously
crying.
Koenma decided that they'd better stop there before certain
lines were crossed. "All right everyone, back to sleep," he said,
snapping his fingers as soon as they were all seated on the couch again.
"Now when you all wake up, everything is going to be perfectly normal.
You're not going to remember anything that happened while you were under
hypnosis, and you're just going to wake up thinking that you fell asleep
watching another one of my boring movies. One...two...three."
All
four of them slowly sat up groggily.
"What's
up?" Yusuke asked Koenma when he saw him.
"I, um, liked your movie."
"I'm
sure you did, Yusuke," Koenma said, and he
couldn't help but crack up. Hiei smirked.
"What's
going on?" Kurama wondered as he woke up. Kuwabara and Botan sat up, too.
"Oh,
nothing," Koenma said. "By the way, you can
all go home now. I'll call you in a few days, Yusuke."
"Um...okay."
Yusuke shrugged, and they all left.
. . .
The Very Next Day:
. . .
Yusuke
was watching television when he heard a knock on his door. Getting up, he
muttered, "This better be good," and opened the door. Seeing nobody
there, Yusuke was about to close the door when something on the doormat caught
his eye. A tape.
"What's this?" He wondered.
He picked it up and decided to go watch it...
. . .
Kurama was alone in his house when he also heard a loud
knock on his front door. He left the kitchen and went to see who had come to
visit him. Opening the door, Kurama saw nobody in
front of it. Instead there was a tape lying on the doorstep.
"Hm,
what could this be?" He thought out loud. He bent over to pick up the
tape, and brought it inside to watch it...
. . .
"Kuwabara, get the door!" Shizura
yelled from in the bathroom. Kuwabara sighed and
rolled off his bed. He shuffled over to the door and swung it open.
"Hello?" There was nobody
there. "YOU LITTLE PUNKS, YOU BETTER STOP DOING THAT!" Kuwabara screamed. Those pesky little kids, at it again! He
was about to slam the door when he noticed a tape on the ground in front of the
door. "What?" He grabbed the tape. "Huh. Wonder what this
is?" He went inside, closing the door behind him, thinking that since he
had nothing better to do he might as well watch it.
. . .
Hiei was sitting high in a tree, not far from either of the
boys' houses. He had delivered each tape with ease, being careful not to let
anyone hear him. Each one of his comrades was now watching the tape. Any moment
now...
Suddenly it happened. Three voices,
all at once, one long scream. If you were walking down
the street three blocks away, you would have heard,
"HIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEIIIII!!!!!!"
Hiei smirked. Revenge was so sweet.
. . .
THE END!
AN: The end, yay, and Hiei
got awesome revenge! Thanks to the people who gave suggestions and I'm sorry if
I didn't use your ideas. If I do another chapter on this, I promise I will, ok?
And sorry this chapter took so long, hopefully it was worth the wait... ^_^
CREDITS:
anime-poker-chik -- Uncontrollable urge to go
streaking in Tokyo
sea-youkai-Juri -- Kuwabara:
glue his hands to his head
Rose Eclipse -- Have Hiei create a mock funeral
saying that he died out of shame from the tape
Everything else was thought of by me.