HIEI'S HYPNOSIS @_@
Chapter Four: Filler Chapter! (Hiei Celebrates)
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AN: Well it looks like I had an author's note here, huh? That just was not going to do! And since Fanfiction.net no longer allows you to have an author note as a chapter, I figured I'd better put somefin' here so my precious story doesn't get deleted! So…behold, the night Hiei gets his revenge he decides to have a little celebration… ~_^
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Hearing their tortured screams had made it all worthwhile. All the humiliation he'd suffered thanks to those fools, now they knew how it felt! And revenge had never felt better. The speedy Jaganshi was perched in the usual tree—his tree—in the park, reliving that same moment over and over again. He closed his eyes and imagined the mortification that the kitsune, the Spirit Detective, and the oaf would have to experience the minute they set foot outside their houses. He knew that every news station this side of Japan had broadcast the footage of the three streakers in action…he smiled to himself as he pictured the look on Kurama's human mother's face. She would be horrified…Kurama always worked hard to please that ningen onna, and now he had finally done something to bring her disappointment. With Hiei's 'help,' of course.
A strange new feeling was present inside him that day. Hiei was puzzled by it. What in the Makai could it mean? Was he hungry? …No, it couldn't be that. He had gone through Kurama's refrigerator earlier that morning (before his revenge had taken place) and eaten the last of his Sweet Snow. MmmmMmmMmMMmm, Sweet Snow…Hiei licked his lips absentmindedly as thoughts of the sweet treat filled his head. He would have to get some more of that delicious substance at some point that evening. But who would he get it from? Not Kurama…that fox would no doubt be very upset for days to come, after Hiei had ruined his perfect image. Certainly not Yusuke either…although Hiei suspected that Yusuke didn't mind the streaking quite as much as Kurama did, he probably didn't enjoy having his rear end on fire. This thought made Hiei chuckle softly, remembering how Yusuke was unable to get off the couch when he felt the burning sensation.
…
There was that odd feeling again…what was it? Hiei was confused. He didn't think he was sick. He wasn't tired, either. And for some reason, he didn't feel like his usual cold, bad-tempered self that day. Something odd was afoot! Had somebody cast some weird spell on him? He sat there for a few minutes, trying to identify the feeling he felt. It wasn't like the satisfaction he would ordinarily feel after, say, destroying an enemy of his. Or like the pleasure he got out of insulting his inferiors. No, this was completely different…
Wait…
Could it be?
Hiei shook his head in reply to the question he had asked himself. No, it couldn't. Demons certainly do not experience that kind of feeling. …But it sounded a lot like the very same feeling Kurama had described once. Thinking of Kurama suddenly triggered the memory of the kitsune talking in gangster-slang, and Hiei began to laugh out loud. This outburst caused several humans who were hanging around the park to jump in surprise—they obviously had no idea the tree was occupied by the vertically challenged one. Hiei's laughter eventually subsided, but he continued to wear a large grin on his face (scary when you think about it, ne?). Leaping down from the tree, he figured he would make the most of this moment. It was the day of his revenge after all, why not have a bit of fun? A human woman turned up her nose at him as she walked past, and he in turn gave her his most deadly glare…then smirked as she made a hasty departure.
Oh, to hell with denial. Hiei was happy.
And now to find himself some sweet snow…recalling a conversation between Yusuke and Kuwabara a while ago about this mysterious place called "store" Hiei decided that would be the best place to begin his search. But where to find one? He traveled down the sidewalk, hands in his cloak pockets, glaring at each human that dared to pass him. As much as he disliked humans, their sugary treats were delicious. Maybe one of them would know where to find Sweet Snow? As a young male human walked by, Hiei reached out quickly and gripped the boy's arm.
"Where is 'Store'?" He demanded.
"Huh?" The boy looked confused, and Hiei scowled. Stupid humans! Don't they know anything?
"I said 'Store', you incompetent! Tell me where it is!" He repeated, quickly growing impatient.
"Oh!" The boy smiled at him. How disgusting! "There's a store right down the street, over there," he said, pointing to a large brick building not too far away. Satisfied, Hiei released his hold on the boy and in two seconds flat he was standing at the door of the building. There had better be Sweet Snow at this place, or that baka ningen would pay for misleading him! And the place was just crawling with humans…hundreds of them. They would go inside with nothing at all, and then come out of the building holding many paper bags in which he assumed contained what they called 'food' by the smell of it all. Hiei entered the building. At first the doors confused him—they opened on their own! But he made it past them with little difficulty. Nothing was going to stand between Hiei Jaganshi and his Sweet Snow! He strode into the store, giving his infamous death glare to all who crossed his path or dared to look at him cross-eyed. They immediately cleared a path for him, and he was free to search the aisles.
Where was it? Where the hell was his sweet snow?
He was beginning to become irritated. These fools, why didn't they put the sweet snow up in the front of the store? Finally, he found it. The frozen food section…and the sweet snow as well! He pulled open the freezer doors and began loading his arms with carton after carton, until he couldn't carry any more of them. Then he turned, letting the door slam shut behind him, and began walking out of the store…however he was met with a slight problem during his departure. Those idiot humans were trying to stop him! They kept saying something about having to 'pay' for the frozen treats…Hiei snarled at them all. Nobody made him pay for anything! Clutching the cartons close to his chest, Hiei gave them all one last smirk and then phased out of the store completely, leaving the humans bewildered and thinking they had seen a ghost.
Hiei returned to his place in the tree—his tree—and began rapidly consuming the sugary substance, carton after carton. He found that vanilla was his favorite, but most Sweet Snow was absolutely mouth-watering. Except for Black Cherry, which he found rather disgusting but ate it anyway. As the sun set and all the annoying humans began to return to their homes, Hiei polished off the last carton of ice cream and then belched loudly.
He felt very odd.
It was like that happy feeling he'd felt earlier, only now it seemed to have multiplied by at least five! He felt rather giddy, to say the least. As he sat in the tree, allowing the ice cream to digest, a large grin spread its way across his face. And for no reason at all! But Hiei wasn't puzzled by it in the least. He didn't have time to be puzzled, for there was much more important matters to investigate—like air! How fascinating! He had never really given the oxygen he breathed a second thought, but now it was the only thing on the planet that seemed to matter. He took large gasping breaths, trying to see if he could taste this air. He couldn't. In fact he couldn't even feel the air when it was supposedly inside his mouth. It felt like nothing at all, just like…he began to laugh…just like air!
After five minutes, Hiei was still laughing uncontrollably, and suddenly he rolled over and fell off the tree limb he'd been relaxing in. He hit the ground with a 'thud' and this only caused him to laugh harder. For some reason it was just so funny! The 'thud' noise resounded inside his head and he clutched his sides, writhing on the ground in his insane, sugar-high laughter. Is this what too much sweet snow did to somebody? He stopped laughing abruptly, as if he had never been laughing in the first place, to ponder that question. And so he pondered.
…Five minutes later and he was still thinking.
…Ten minutes later and he was still consumed in his thoughts.
…Fifteen minutes later and still he sat there contemplating the effects of sweet snow on an individuals' psyche.
…Twenty minutes later he arrived at a conclusion:
"I am going to need a spork," he stated to himself. Then he rolled over laughing insanely again, forgetting all about trying to figure out why sweet snow made somebody act in such a manner as this. When he finally stopped laughing, he lay there on the grass, twitching and talking to himself.
"I really like this sweet snow," he said. "It makes me very happy to eat this delicious sweet snow…I love you, Sweet Snow," he told the empty carton that had once contained Vanilla ice cream. "I have something to ask you…" Hiei grunted as he rolled onto his stomach to face the said carton, "Vanilla Sweet Snow, will you marry me?"
Carton does not respond to Hiei's request.
But apparently it had consented to the proposal, because a minute later Hiei was sporting a goofy grin that looked positively terrifying on him and hugging the empty carton to his bare chest…for some reason unknown, Hiei had lost his shirt during his insane hyper fits of laughter. "I'm marrying my Sweet Snow," he sang to nobody in particular. He brought his lips to the carton and placed a big wet kiss onto the cardboard exterior. Hiei lay there with his new fiancé for an hour or so before he suddenly sat up straight. His left eyebrow was twitching like mad. He felt it building up inside him, like a volcano about to blow. He couldn't contain it much longer…he needed to release what was trapped inside him, and he needed to do it now.
He jumped to his feet and kicked the carton away as far as he could, and for no particular reason at all. Then he began to jump quickly in place, up and down, up and down, having nowhere else to go. He had to run. RUN! BE FREE! Too much energy…too much, too much…he had to do something, SOMETHING!
"AHH!" He shouted into the night air, not getting a response and not wanting one. "I have to run!" He said to himself. "Run, run, run, run! RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, and suddenly he broke into a run, speeding circles around the park for hours on end until, when he finally came to a stop, there was a three-foot trench around the park's entire perimeter.
Now he was utterly exhausted. He had succeeded in burning off all the new energy he'd acquired, and also in running himself ragged. Suddenly he became entirely ashamed of himself. What in the seven hells had possessed him to do any of this? Proposing to a carton! A Sweet Snow carton! How stupid! Hiei felt the heat slowly creeping up to his cheeks. He was just glad that nobody had seen him this way—they would never let him live it down. He made his way over to his tree and hopped up onto one of the highest limbs. He needed to get some rest now, after being up all night on a sugar rush.
"Hn!" He scowled as he settled into the branches and slowly began to nod off. Never again would he do anything like this, as long as he lived!
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AN: There you go! ^_^ That's what happens when Hiei gets sugar high… O.o;;; Hey, don't ask me. I don't even know what the hell happened there, and I'm the one who wrote the damn thing. Of course this would never happen, I know that. Duh. Just like Kurama could never act as psycho as he does in the next chapter. But that's what makes it all so damn funny, ne? REVIEW PLEASE and receive a giant Hiei plushie! ^_^