YESTERDAY'S MEMORIES

Chapter Two: Letting Go

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Author's Notes: Peter Pan's coming out on DVD on May 4th... I can't wait. :)

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I'm trying so hard to forget

But my heart still clings on

She woke up to the awful pounding pain of her head. Never before had she ever woken up to pain like this—to the constant throbbing and the overwhelming thoughts that fled through her mind. As she slowly sat up in bed, one thought struck her still.

The dream she had last night of Peter. It was odd, but he was older—if not, he had at least grown. It had felt so real... and she had to wonder, was it supposed to mean something? After all, it was most definitely different from her other distinct dreams.

As she got out of bed, an agonizing sigh escaped from her mouth.

It had been almost like yesterday it seemed. He had promised to visit her many years ago, but never once had he did, except in her dreams—but her dreams were always the same. It became so predictable now that she even knew that she was dreaming. It was sad, but it had gotten to that point and Wendy knew that there was nothing left for her to do but let go. She had to move on and forget and shut the window to the past. Peter would never come back for her now. All the joyful memories she shared with him were now only yesterday's memories.

"Peter," she whispered as she tugged on the acorn that he had given her. While she stared at it, all the fantastical memories of her adventure with him flashed back through her mind, causing her to tremble as she tried to stop her tears. "It's time to let go..."

A call from her mother snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I'm up, Mother," she answered as she slowly turned away from her window.

Her life would never be the same again she knew as she walked out of the door. There would be no Peter Pan anymore—only a Stephen Joshua Alexander.

* * *

He waited patiently for her as she came down the stairs. Exquisitely dressed in a very simple white dress was Wendy with the composed face that he always saw. A smile spread across her lips as she approached him.

"Hello, Wendy," he greeted as he leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek, "I hope you slept well."

She nodded to him and her smile faded away. "I hope you slept well too." She fidgeted a bit under his gaze, but when she felt her stomach growl, she blushed in embarrassment and quickly took a hold of his hand. "Come on, Stephen. Let's go have some breakfast. I'm quite hungry."

"Oh, that's great. I've got a surprise for you today. I will show you what it is after breakfast," he said eagerly. Wendy pretended to look surprised and smiled a smile that looked genuine.

Over the years, after having meeting Stephen and knowing that she was to be wedded to him, Wendy found herself slowly perishing inside, but adapted well to please everyone around her. While adapting to her new life, she had transformed into an astounding little actress. She was able to fool everyone around her with her false act. Well, that is, almost everyone. Her two brothers, John and Michael seemed to have always seen through her.

"I can't wait."

* * *

"George," his wife said softly as she reached out to grab his hand. A worried expression was painfully obvious upon her face and he couldn't help but give her his full attention. "I'm really worry about Wendy. I haven't the slightest clue how she's going to react."

Mr. Darling shifted within his chair and softly patted his wife's hand in comfort. "Don't you worry about it. It is no use, you know that. We cannot stop it now, so we will see how it goes tonight when she returns, won't we?"

"Yes," Mrs. Darling agreed, "But she isn't happy, George. Our dear Wendy isn't happy, have you not noticed? She may seem fine, but that boy—that wild boy Peter Pan—he has her heart, not Stephen. It would kill me to see her marry and still be unhappy like she is now."

"We're only doing what is best for her. That mischievous boy hasn't return, nor will he ever. She has no choice, Mary. She has to marry."

Mournful for her only and eldest daughter, Mrs. Darling looked away from her husband and to the ground. "I understand that, but I don't think you do. We have been one of the few lucky ones, George. We married with love in our marriage. Wendy, however... will not. It isn't fair for either one of them. It's only a one-sided love. Living an unhappy life—a life with nothing to look forward to is not one worth living at all."

Mr. Darling remained firm on his belief. "There is no other choice."

* * *

She knew what was coming. And the only thing that she wanted to do right now was run away.

In front of her was a sight that many would've loved to be in. Stephen Joshua Alexander was on one knee with a ring in his hand, his face pleading for the proper answer from her. She found herself going numb; nothing could've ever prepared her for this.

She had known Stephen for years and she had grown to love him dearly as a friend. He was always there for her when she got into disputes with her father and he always knew what to do to make her feel better. He made her laugh, he made her cry (unintentionally, of course), he had done everything for her. He was absolutely wonderful to her, but—there was always a but—the thing was, he wasn't the one who had her heart. Sometimes though, she wished that he were.

"I..." she began, earning a hopeful look from him, "I... Stephen." She stopped and held his arm, pulling him back up. "I don't think I'm ready yet..."

"...Oh..." His face dropped and he forced the tiniest smile upon his face. "That's okay, Wendy... there's no rush. No rush at all."

She looked at him sadly, feeling horrible for rejecting such a remarkable young man. "But," she said, adding in a glimmer of hope for him, "When I am ready, Stephen, you will know." She waited until he nodded his head, then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"Shall I take you home now?" he asked as they pulled away from each other, "You're probably very tired and I don't want to hold onto you any longer if you are."

Wendy smiled in gratitude. "Thank you."

* * *

"Wendy! Wendy! Won't you tell us a story, just for old times' sake?" the twins had cried out to her that night before she went to bed. With a guilty sigh, she turned back to look at them, a look of regret hidden deep within her eyes.

"I'm sorry, boys, but I'm awfully tired tonight. Besides, aren't we getting a bit too old for that?"

"But you're always tired, Wendy," they whimpered, "And what of Peter? Peter said he'd come to hear stories about him! Don't you believe anymore?"

Wendy turned her head away at their queries and forced another small smile upon her face before turning back to them. "You know I still believe in Peter, you know that I love him very much," she reasoned, "But twins, he hasn't come back and honestly, I don't think he will either."

With wide-eyes, they looked up at her. Had Wendy finally reach the end of her rope? "So... you don't believe in Peter anymore?"

"I... I honestly don't know, but that's not the point. Whether I believe or not, he still won't come back. So boys, let's not waste our time and just go to bed, alright?"

"But—"

"Boys," Mrs. Darling called from their room, "It's time for bed."

With one last dejected glance towards Wendy, the twins—whom the Darlings had named Kenneth and Mitchell—left her room. "Goodnight, Wendy."

"Goodnight, twins. Sleep tight."

It hadn't taken long for Mrs. Darling to settle the boys in. She appeared at Wendy's doorway shortly after, her eyes jaded and her face set unusually calm. "Are you alright, darling?" she asked softly as she approached, taking a seat next to her daughter on her bed.

"I'm fine, Mother," Wendy replied quietly as she turned towards the window, looking out vacantly. Then suddenly, as if her barrier had finally broke, she found herself in the suppressing need to explain her torment. "As hard as I try, I still cannot forget him. I dream of him every night and every night he returns to me. But as each day passes, I find myself tiring quickly. I miss him so much, Mother. Why must he promise me such a thing if he doesn't plan on keeping his word?" A tear escaped from her eye. "Perhaps he has long forgotten."

Mrs. Darling leaned over and hugged her, placing a comforting kiss on her forehead. "Don't think that. I'm sure he still watches over you." She paused, thinking of what she was to say next. "However, you cannot waste forever waiting for him, Wendy. You have to move on, you have to forget, let go..."

"You are right, Mother," Wendy sniffed, "I suppose you knew about the proposal."

She nodded. "I did. How did it go?"

"Well," Wendy sighed, "I know you'll be awfully disappointed in me, but I'm not quite ready for marriage yet. It's just... too soon." Turning to look back, she saw the hidden disappointment within her mother's eyes. Her head dropped; she seemed to disappoint everyone these days. "I'm sorry."

Mrs. Darling attempted a small smile, trying to acknowledge to her daughter that it was okay. "Don't be, dear. It's alright, there is no rush," she explained, "No rush yet... but there will be. Upon your seventeenth birthday, you will be forced to wed. Six months is all you have left."

Wendy nodded slowly, looking away. "I understand..." And it was true, she did understand. She had known about the custom since long ago.

Watching the pained expression on Wendy's face broke her heart. She hated to be the carrier of bad news. "Don't dwell in the past, Wendy. It only brings you sadness and torment."

"I cannot help it," she said brokenly, "If I could, things would not be like this. They'd be different... so much more different... but I can't."

Mrs. Darling pulled her daughter into another hug, allowing her to rest her head on her shoulders. "Wendy, are you willing to try? Will you try to let him go?"

"Yes," spoke Wendy immediately, "I will latch the window tonight, most definitely."

Mrs. Darling watched as she held back the overwhelming tears. Her shoulders began to shake lightly, her throat beginning to tighten up. The elder Darling knew that the child in her arms couldn't take much more before she would break, so gently, she continued to hold onto her, trying her best to comfort and ease the pain.

"Do you love him, Wendy sweetheart? Does the boy honestly hold your heart? Does he make you smile, make you tingle inside? Does he make you happy?" Of course, Mrs. Darling already knew the answers to all of those questions, but she now wanted to hear them. She wanted her daughter to explain her feelings; the feelings she had kept to herself all of these years.

However, Wendy didn't answer; she didn't need to. She knew her mother knew.

No longer able to suppress her sorrow, tears spilled forth from her eyes and she allowed it to. There within her mother's embrace, she continued to let her misery out, her mother there with her all the while... even when she fell asleep.

* * *

A loud knock woke her from her slumber. Faintly, she stepped out of bed, striding over to her window, where the source of the sound came from. She opened it favorably, even though the person she saw was the one who she was trying so hard to let go of.

"Hello Wendy," Peter greeted and she stepped back, allowing him to step foot into her room, "How are you feeling now?"

"I'm fine," she answered tiredly. Silence was heavy between them until Wendy gave a little gasp. "This is not real," she whispered with wide-eyes after having pinching herself, trying to convince herself that it was just another dream. "You're real..."

The smirk she missed so much played out across his face. "Of course, Wendy. That's what I tried to tell you yesterday, but you didn't believe me."

Still in shock, Wendy only stared on at him numbly. "W... w-why are y-you... why are you here?"

Before answering her, he made a move forward, wanting to touch her, but she flinched back, shaking her head. He stared at her, bewildered. "Wendy..."

"No," she spoke quietly, brokenly, "No... don't... please." She wrapped her arms around herself, staring back at him in confusion. "Just tell me... what is it that you need, Peter?"

"Need?" Peter echoed, as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "What would I need?"

"I don't know..." she whispered, "Why else would you come back?"

The question struck him silent.

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I finally found time to update... but ugh... school again tomorrow...