The past 15 parts have been revised and grammar mistakes corrected. I think there are more that I haven't spotted. Please be patient.
After struggling with the last part, this new part literally just poured out of me. This fic has now passed its half-way mark I think. The other day I just sat and wondered why I called it "Blinded". I think it's just a general feeling the story gives me. This fic can also be called TFTDMLA - The Fic That's Draining My Life Away, though...
Again, thank you for the reviews. I won't list names here because I know I'll forget some people by accident, but honestly, thank you. I'm dying for more reviews. I can never get enough of them. I really want to know what you think about this fic so far. Maybe the grammar sucks... (well not maybe, I know my grammar sucks) You find certain bits hard to understand... Or you feel some bits are really boring and somebody's OOC... You want to see more of certain characters... Or there are bits that you really enjoy... Please tell me!
=YS=
Blinded
Part Sixteen
They feared him. The formal inaugural ceremony had not yet taken place, but everyone knew about the teams in Japan, and who the leaders were. No one tried to stop Crawford when he walked through the infirmary, into the restricted area - medical laboratories.
"I'm sure you have heard about Agent 003241, Naoe Nagi."
Some twenty men and women in white coats looked at him in silence. Of course they knew. The moment after Crawford ended the call with SS and sent Nagi to hospital for his allergic reaction, SS had contacted Rosenkreuz, who had let the medical staff know about it.
And by "know about it", it was "if this had been preventable, ie. if this had been your failure, you know what the consequences are."
Pausing for just enough time to induce fear, Crawford tossed the medical report, done by The University of Tokyo Hospital, onto the cold steel table.
One of the staff, a young man in his mid-twenties, walked over and gingerly picked up the pieces of paper. He studied it, and cursed under his breath. "Nut allergy...? How could we have missed this?"
"I'm Agent 003229, Bradley Crawford. You are?" Most of them knew who he was. Those who did not, now did. Nobody moved. Nobody dared to.
"Farblos med. team captain, Rudolf Richter."
Farblos, one of Rosenkreuz's top teams. Definitely not a team to mess with. Crawford almost hesitated, but medical staff were often borrowed around within SS and Rosenkreuz anyway, and these staff were ignorant on most of the the organisations' operations. They only knew they worked with "gifted" people, mostly children, but nothing beyond that. The risks were not large, and Crawford knew he had to bite the bullet and go through with it. He had to do this.
He slipped a hand into his pant pocket, and put the other on the table, leaning his weight on his fingers. He glared, through frameless glasses, into the man's eyes. "Andesner, I haven't submitted the report to Rosenkreuz - yet."
The team that knew more than their professional careers were at stake. Although mistakes were not common, any individual staff who ever made them had disappeared. Rosenkreuz said that they had been dismissed, but nobody could get into contact with any of them afterwards. The first time no one had suspected anything, but the second, the third... and now the mistake belonged to the entire team...
A moment later, Rudolf Richter looked away, too afraid to meet Crawford's eyes. His voice, when he spoke, was a whisper.
"What do you want us to do?"
Before landing in Germany, Crawford had explained the purpose of the trip to Nagi, and its implications. The boy had never seen the Council or the Elders, so it was better to have him prepared. Nagi gave no reactions then, and his expressions right now, as they prepared for the ceremony, were still unreadable.
"Yes Nagi, you do look like some brat who's going to inherit an insane amount of money from daddy."
Nagi rolled his eyes and studied his reflection, ignoring Schuldich's reply to his thoughts. He did not like wearing suits, plain and simple. Farfarello, drugged with traquilisers for this event, did not mind the suits, except Schuldich had done his necktie too tight so he loosened it a little.
He and Nagi had yet to speak their first word to each other.
They filed into the hall, which was only the size of a tennis court. Nine teams, including them, faced the three Elders and five Councilmen.
Neumann was there.
"I haven't seen you for a long time now, Schuldich."
"M'am." The German bowed slightly to the old woman, who had gone with Neumann to recruit Schuldich five years ago. It had been a rare event for one of the Elders to go herself.
"What do you think of the team?"
Crawford held his breath and waited for Schuldich's answer.
"We're good at what we do." The German, head still low, peered at the old woman with eyes partially hidden under green bangs, an indicative smirk on his lips.
The old woman was delighted. "And you, Nagi?"
"My time with the team is still short, but I believe in our potential." The boy replied in Japanese.
"Very good." The old woman studied Farfarello for a moment, but did not speak to him. She turned to Crawford, finally. "I expect results."
When that was over, the Elders left the room. Each Councilman then gave their instructions and warnings. Neumann was the only one who did not speak. He merely stood and walked to the teams.
//Do your jobs with all you've got.// Hands behind his back, Neumann walked from one team to another, studying them all with ice blue eyes. //I believe I don't need to stress the importance of loyalty.//
Everyone nodded. They knew none of them stood a chance against Neumann's telepathy.
When the telepath stopped in front of Crawford, his expression did not change.
//Nik, please keep an eye on Farblos' medical team for me.// Crawford looked straight at the man's eyes. //Help me.//
Neumann had to know what Crawford was planning, and that he had blackmailed the medical team. Being the telepath, he knew everything as soon as he probed into Crawford's mind, which the American was sure he had done.
Neumann did not reply to the request. //You should be able to create a mental realm now. I can feel it.//
//Mental realm?//
//It's the safest place you and your team can be in. If you can't do it, get Schuldich to help you.//
//But what's - //
Neumann flashed him a look. Crawford held his words back, knowing this was a dangerous place to discuss such things. But he also knew this would be his last opportunity to talk with Neumann: if The Plan should succeed, they would not meet again; if it should fail, Crawford would be brought back before the Council, yes, but he very much doubt he would have enough strength - and sanity - left to converse with the man.
//I hope this will be the last time we meet.//
Crawford knew well what that meant. //Nik - //
//Goodbye, Brad.//
//Go back inside. You're cold. And it's going to rain soon.//
After a moment of stare-down, Crawford gives up and goes back into his room to bury himself under the hotel duvet. It is nice and warm inside, but at this rate, he will be falling asleep again soon.
"Do you know if Niklas survived?"
That was, indeed, the last time Crawford and Neumann met. The German never made another appearance when Crawford went back to the headquaters to present the progress reports every three months. And after the chaos Schwarz had created, along with Kritiker's attack on various SS branches in Europe, there is no way to tell if Neumann is still alive.
//I don't know. Kritiker's rounding up what's remained of SS as we speak, but I think if Niklas' still alive, then he'll live through this too. Nagi will make sure of that.// Schuldich shrugs. //I can try to find him if you want.//
After searching for Crawford for nearly half a decade, Schuldich would like to say he has gotten very good at looking for people.
"No, not now. After Monday, I'll look for him myself."
At that, Schuldich's eyes darken to the deepest shade of blue, and he falls silent. Crawford and his plans, his future. None of it had ever involved him, since SS collapsed.
Some old habits do die hard. Crawford is not trying to change, or make up for anything he has done. Schuldich cannot say he is angry. He never expected anything from Crawford or asked anything of him, except that one time when the precognitive refused his most desperate plea, his only request... a quick death. Even now, Schuldich cannot tell who had been the selfish one, he or Crawford.
//You do that. And say hi to him for me.//
Nothing has changed. It is strange, that whilst Schuldich held no hopes nor expectations, he is still disappointed.
"'Weiß'. Japanese assassination group, a division of an organisation called 'Kritiker'." Crawford passed a disc to Nagi, who loaded it on the computer, and its contents were projected onto the wall. "Not much intel on them right now, but Takatori should be on their target list."
"Schwarz."
"Schuldich, nobody says anything or ask any questions until I have finished. I have made that clear in the beginning." Crawford snapped at his colleague.
"Sorry, I forgot okay? I'm not used to this 'meeting' procedure." The German sighed heavily, folding his arms on the dark wood table to rest his head on them.
//Our first meeting is video-monitored. Behave yourself, it'll make life much easier later on.//
//Damn. Sorry.// Schuldich sat up straight again.
"Since you've already interrupted me, tell us what you wanted to say now."
"The Council's letting us name our team, and since that assassination group thing is 'Weiß', and they're the ones we need to watch out for the most, we can call ourselves 'Schwarz'."
Nagi finally spoke up. "Is that German?"
"'Weiß' means white."
"'Schwarz' is black, then." Nagi deduced, and rolled his eyes at Schuldich.
After two seconds of silence, and Crawford could tell the other two were conversing silently, Schuldich grinned at the Japanese boy. "Lack in originality? I think it sounds quite cool. Do you have any better suggestions?"
"Schuldich..." Crawford growled. //Help me here, you idiot.//
"Sorry Crawford." //Sorry.//
Crawford coughed once and continued. "With instructions from the Council, our tasks, in order of priority, are these:" An new image was projected onto the wall. "Monitor Takatori, complete individual jobs from SS, and take out Kritiker. The last task may or may not involve working with the other teams. We only deal with Kritiker if time permits, but we must make sure Takatori is not harmed by them. I will give instructions when it is appropriate."
//Slow down, your English's too fast, Nagi's struggling and I can't translate and concentrate on you at the same time.// "Did you say monitor Takatori?"
Crawford nodded. "He won't be told about your telepathy. Read the folders in front of you. I've allocated individual tasks."
"Technical... computing... and medical?" Nagi glanced up at Crawford, brows knotting.
"The tech. and med. teams will coach you. I want you to be expert on both within a month. Can you do it?"
//In a month? Aren't you pushing the kid too hard, Crawford?//
Nagi nodded firmly. "Yes."
//Gods, both of you are nuttier than Farfie, I swear. Speaking of who...// "How about Farfarello?"
The Irishman had been excused from the meeting for more treatments on his eye. "He'll be the primary fighter. No more questions until I say so."
//You're really sucking up to the Powers That Be.// Schuldich sent at Crawford with a fair amount of distaste, although his face did not betray anything inside.
//Do I need to explain myself?// The American glared into Schuldich's blue eyes. After a moment, he relented. //You think I enjoy sucking up? At least one of us has to do it to ensure our safety. You and Farfarello won't do it and I don't want Nagi to. So who else is left?//
Schuldich blinked in surprise, and did not reply.
"Schuldich, I want you to get Farfarello this evening. Nagi, report to med. lab. 21. The tech. team will be contacted when we arrive in Tokyo." Both Schuldich and Nagi nodded. "Questions?"
"How about our... domestic arrangements?" Nagi asked quietly, annoyed that he had to say "domestic arrangements" in Japanese because he could not remember the English term.
"Domestic arrangements..." Crawford said, for the benefit of the boy mostly. "We'll stay in our current apartments in Tokyo, and then move into Takatori's guest house. Farfarello will stay somewhere else initially to complete his treatment, then he'll move in. You'll be enrolled into a school."
//Schuldich, tell him I'll discuss that with him later.//
//Um, okay.//
When there were no more questions, Crawford ended the hour-long meeting, and sent Nagi on his way to the medical team. As Schuldich walked pass him on his way out, he told the German he wanted a word with him.
They were on their way out to find something decent to eat when Schuldich first spoke. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't know how things were going to work. Did I screw up anything?"
"Fortunately, no, I don't think so. I really should've warned you prior, so don't blame yourself."
The words had their desired effect, and Schuldich's shoulders sagged an inch with relief. "So what 'word' do you want with me really?"
//What's a 'mental realm'? Have you heard of it?//
Schuldich is slightly startled by the question. //Yeah, it's as the name says, a world inside your mind... everybody has one, but mostly in the subconcious mind. Some paranormals can conciously enter and exit their mental realms as they wish, and even take other minds in with them.//
//I see.//
//But there's a catch.// Schuldich pulled his coat tighter to himself when they left the building, cursing the snow. SS' location meant there was snow all year long. //If the mind dies, the body dies with it. I heard that Neumann had done something like that before: drag people's minds in and kill them in his mental realm, because they were physically too strong and other mental methods didn't work.//
The two hurried along in the snow, not wanting to feel the cold a second longer. It was something common between the two of them, Crawford generally just because he liked being very warm, and Schuldich always complained the cold made him want to sleep. And apparently he could easily feel cold when he slept too, something Crawford did not know until Nagi approached him and asked to get some thicker beddings. Cold and tiredness seemed interchangable for Schuldich, and Crawford wondered if the German's slightly low blood pressure level had to do with it.
"Why didn't we park in the underground carpark?"
"You were driving Schuldich, don't ask me."
They finally got to the car. Schuldich smiled when Crawford tossed him the keys. The American knew Schuldich liked driving. //You know that movie... The Matrix... if you die in the Matrix, you die for real. It's the same thing for a mental realm. Just think of a mental realm as a "matrix" that you can control, go in and out as you wish, and drag others with you if you're good enough.//
//So how do you make a mental realm?//
//Well I know how to... it's very important for telepaths to know how to do it.// Schuldich did not explain that further. He kept his eyes on the road. //But I can't take other minds with me. I'll tell you what I know. And are you taking me up on the empathy lessons anyway?//
//Tonight okay for you?//
//So soon? You're desparate for me aren't you.// Schuldich snickered, a hand leaving the wheel to tuck stray stands of hair behind his ear. //Yeah, sure, we'll start tonight.///
It had not been a pleasant experience for either of them. Crawford frowns as he recalls the strain in Schuldich's face that night when Crawford learned to deal with his empathy, which, according to Schuldich, is very good at blocking emotions from himself and others in the concious state which made Crawford a cold-blooded man, but clashes with his clairvoyance, making him feel more than he should during a vision.
Learning to control is not a difficult thing once he knew the trick, and Crawford had it mastered within several hours, by the end of which Schuldich had turned deathly pale, then finally passed out when he tried to stand up.
When Crawford realised Schuldich could not be woken up, he had carried the German, with Nagi's help to get him on his back, back to his room. Even though Schuldich was very light for his height, perhaps only around a hundered and thirty pounds, it had not been an easy task - smelling the faint scent of cologne Schuldich had always worn did anything but calm Crawford's senses.
He had stood beside the bed and studied Schuldich's face for a short while. He was a man of control, so it was not a problem for him. He was not going to give in to a mere crush that he knew was not going to last that much longer.
"You fainted in the end."
//Yeah, that was pretty lame of me.// Schuldich shrugs when Crawford shoots him a look. //But that's how the mind works. You keep pushing it until it gets stronger. I mean, Niklas rammed your mind as part of your training too. I thought I'd hold out, but obvisouly I couldn't.//
After that, Nagi showed his displeasure by throwing several items at Crawford telekinetically. Crawford had got a bad burise from a particularly heavy book, Nagi's English dictionary, in fact, that was thrown towards his head and blocked with an arm. The boy had been shocked that he actually managed to hurt Crawford, but he said nothing. No explanation or apology. Crawford did not expect him to, anyway. The boy did not know Schuldich's condition had to do with Crawford testing his powers, but nonetheless it triggered his anger which had been boiling since the meeting. He had been upset that he was allocated to do backup work when he made it clear since the beginning that he wanted his revenge on Weiß. Whether throwing the books had been intentional, or if Nagi just directed his anger at Crawford and lost control of his telekinesis, remains a mystery.
"What if you pushed too hard and it overloads?" Crawford asks accusingly.
//Oh come on, that was so long ago, we're just gonna repeat the same conversation we had a couple of days ago if you keep this up. And anyway,// Schuldich cocks his head towards the front door. //There's a surprise for you on the other side of that door that you should pay some attention to.//
Arching an eyebrow, Crawford unwillingly leaves the warm bed and pads towards the door, turning up the heating on his way.
"You aren't pulling a prank on me are you?"
//Come on, you're a precog! You should've seen this coming.// Schuldich grins, and then adds, thoughtfully, //Unless the other party involved is really getting better than you in terms of willpower. Determined to see you, maybe?//
Crawford notes the "really" in Schuldich's words, then very cautiously opens the front door.
It is Nagi standing outside, his fingers curled, hand poised in the air, about to knock on the door. He looks up at Crawford, who towers over him by over half a foot, and manages a small smile.
Crawford, getting over his momentary shock, moves aside. "Come in, Nagi."
"I heard you talking, thought you're on the phone or have guests."
The young man sits down on the chair near the bed, waiting patiently for Crawford to settle down again. Crawford puffs some pillows to lean against so that he can sit up comfortably, then he considers the situation. Even though he knows Nagi must have tracked him down from the phone signals, he is still impressed. But the question is, why is he here now...?
//Bet you fifty dollars the kid's too worried about you.// Sitting at the end of the bed, Schuldich smiles. The last time they spent time together had been brief, and he did not have enough time to appreciate what a fine young man Nagi had grown into. He can break hearts, definitely.
"I thought we were going to meet on Monday?"
"Well I - " Nagi bows his head slightly and combs his hair once with long fingers. "Farfarello and I took ten flights too early by accident. Does that sound convincing? Is this okay, I'm not interrupting anything...?"
//You own me fifty~// Schuldich sings.
//I didn't accept the bet.//
Nagi notices Crawford is suddenly distracted, but does not comment.
"I'm okay, Nagi, you don't need to worry about me. I was just..." Crawford glances at Schuldich, who grins back at him. "Talking with Schuldich."
"You were..." Nagi follows Crawford's gaze. "I want to believe, I saw something strange back at his grave, but... I don't see anything now."
"Concentrate, and think about what it felt like to be near him. Remember the way it felt when his mind entered yours."
Nagi draws a small breath and tries. He looks at Crawford again, and shakes his head.
"Try again. Use your power and reach out. Feel for anything that doesn't seem normal. Be patient."
//It probably won't work.// Schuldich sighs a little and stands up, walking to Nagi's side.
After a minute, Nagi gasps. "There's a presence. Something familiar."
"Where is it?"
"It's..." Nagi adjusts his powers slightly, reaching for that presence. Then his eyes grow wide. "He's... right next to me? Schu is standing right next to me?"
"If you can feel him too, it means I'm not hallucinating." Crawford laughs dryly, and then suddenly stops. "Nagi?"
Nagi reaches out into the empty space beside him, but there is nothing, just air. His quiet, gentle voice quivers. "I can't see you. I want to see you. I want to hear your voice. Oh Gods, Schu..."
Crawford watches helplessly as Nagi turns hysterical, the slight body starting to tremble, cerulean-coloured eyes moist with tears, searching desparately around him, trying to see what he cannot. "You're really here, Schu... I..."
//Oh Nagi.// Schuldich murmurs, then bends down to wind his arms around Nagi's neck from behind, and kisses the top of his head. //I'm fine. I'm fine Nags. Don't you worry about me. I'm okay.//
"He says he's fine, don't you worry about him. In those exact words."
"Schu..."
Nagi can feel the German. One of the only people who never abandoned him. One of the only people he could be honest to, and really love. He is here, but not really. So close, yet so far away.
//Brad.//
//Yes?//
//Don't just sit there and watch! Give him a hug for me. His mind's a big mess, he needs some human contact right now.//
//I generally don't hug, Schuldich.//
//Fuck the "generally". This is nothing near general. And I know you've wanted to ever since the moment he left us.//
//Damn you.// Crawford half smiles at Schuldich. "Nagi."
Hastily, Nagi wipes his eyes with his sleeve. "Sorry Crawford. I'm fine."
//Nagi's still got that "I must perform well for Crawford" complex.//
"No, Nagi, come over here."
Nervously Nagi walks to Crawford's side and sits down, obviously frightened that Crawford is going to scold him. Crawford shakes his head with a sigh. Perhaps in the past he really overdid it. Nagi still sees him as the ruthless leader, and in front of him, being twenty-one years-old means nothing. He is always a child to be disciplined.
"Upon Schuldich's request." The American simply says, then takes the young man into his arms.
Nagi gasps in shock.
Crawford sighs again, and presses Nagi close to his chest. "If you want to know, I cried too."
This undoes what restraint Nagi tries to hold. Strength drains away from him, and he sobs, tears he had held back since the news of Schuldich's death finally allowed to fall.
He does not know what, or who, he is crying for. For Schuldich. For Crawford. For Farfarello and himself.
For Crawford's decision to let each one of them have a new life, scattering Schwarz apart, tearing himself apart, because Nagi knew Schwarz was all that the man had.
For this is the first time Crawford holds him like this and tells him that yes, it is okay to be weak and yes, he has cried for Schuldich too.
[to be continued]