(A Third Look at Life)
Author Notes: Sorry for the long delay. I've been occupied with other fangirly things. I've been working on a wallpaper site (still a work in progress), if you're interest (got some AGU wallpapers) check it out using my author's profile as ff.net will not let me place it here.
I'll keep this one short and let you peps. get to what you came for. Enjoy the next chapter of the Finsters. [Same rules still apply about grammar & etc.]
Copyrights: neither this story nor I are affiliated with any bigwigs with high priced attorneys. Please don't sue me. It would only encourage others to do the same.
~**~
When the overpriced DJ played There You'll Be nearly everyone in audience cried as they watched the father dance with his now married daughter. The tears of the women were publicly noted but the men tried to keep theirs hidden. Nearly everyone cried but he cried the most.
He was standing near the entrance to the bathrooms. One arm propped behind his back to support him against the cream walls draped in colorful banners, and the other quickly wiping the tears away in shame. Grown men don't cry, he told himself. But he was crying now. Crying because he knew one-day real soon that would be him out there on the dance floor with his now married daughter. The very thought tore at his every essence.
Cheyenne was eighteen now. In four months she graduate from high school. He'd soon have to watch her walk on to that stage, cameras flashing, and her family and friends cheering, and watch some school official hand her a diploma. He'd smile for her, clap the hardest for her, and be the proudest of her. But he wouldn't she the grown women standing there looking so beautiful and happy and grown. He'd see the little tomboy she had once been.
He would see his daughter with her missing front teeth and bandage knees from her recent bike wreck. He'd see his daughter having tea parties with her action figures. He'd see his daughter in her Easter dresses covered in chocolate smears and grass stains. He'd see Cheyenne with her pants on backward and her shoes on the wrong feet because she insisted on dressing herself. He'd see his daughter on her first day of school and he'd see her on her first birthday with cake up her nose. He'd see her dragging the dog and her brothers around in the little red wagon that had once been his. He'd see her drawing on the walls and eating French toast with ketchup. He would see her counting on her fingers and reading stories to him when she first learned to read. He would see his daughter as his little girl who needed him to tie her shoes. Not the women she had become.
He felt real lucky that everyone's attention was addressed to Phil dancing with Gracie. He didn't want anyone to see him feeling weak. He wondered as his sister's husband spun Gracie around the dance floor if he was remembering when Gracie use to stand on her father's feet when they danced together. He wondered if Phil was recalling rocking her to sleep in his arms late at night with a soft lullaby sung by her mother. He wondered if Phil was dying inside too.
He decided he wanted something hard to drink but recalled he didn't like the taste of alcohol. Not whiskey, bourbon, vodka, or champagne. So he had lost his excuse to move from his spot. He continued to watch Gracie dance in her beautiful white dress and slowly break her father's heart.
"I'll kill Jaina before I let her marry." He heard his best friend joke. He had forgotten the man was standing next to him. He laughed and the bittersweet taste of loneliness lingered with the hollowness of it.
"They grow up too quick." He offered. He saw Tommy nod out of the corner of his eye.
"Too damn quick." Tommy added sadly. He then looks at his friend whose eyes are no longer focused on his niece and brother-in-law. But instead Tommy is looking at his own daughter, Jaina, dressed in a red bridesmaid gown, her brown hair twisted up on her head, swaying back and forth to the music beside her twin brother Jason. He feels for the man next to him. He feels for his best friend along with his other friend whose daughter now has another man's last name. But he can't help but feel jealous of the dark hair man next to him. Jaina and her brother weren't even seventeen yet. They still had two more months till their next birthday. Cheyenne was eighteen now. She was old enough to buy cigarettes, vote, and die for her country. She was old enough to leave home and him. His daughter was grown and he couldn't stand it.
He searched for Cheyenne and fount her sitting at table in the corner with other members of the bridal party. Three white candles on the table illumined her face. Maureen, the maid of honor and Gracie's younger sister handed his daughter a tissue. Cheyenne took it and wiped at her eyes. The girls were talking but he couldn't read lips.
He wished to rewind time. Make her nine again. Back when she still needed him to take her ballet class and pick her up after soccer games. He wanted the little girl back who would crawl up in his lap while he read to her the Sunday comics. He wanted his little girl in pigtails back. He couldn't deal with her being grown. He couldn't deal with her groaning when he told her dates to have her back before twelve or his daughter debating with herself over what her major should be.
"You're lucky, Chuck." Tommy said and brought him out of his private thoughts.
"How so?" He asked. Anything to take his thought off his unshared misery.
"Cheyenne might be grown but you still got the other three to give you more gray hair." His friend teased. He snorted in fake mockery.
"I don't have gray hair, Pickles." He said in defense of his age. Tommy and he laughed. A real laugh. Because he did have gray hair. He was just in the habit of plucking them and hiding them with a baseball cap. He wasn't entirely sure if the children were the culprits or if it was just old age slapping him with a reality check. But it couldn't hurt to blame it on the kids.
He and Tommy continued their playful banner. It made them feel better. They joked and the future didn't seem so dark and looming as it did a moment ago. Soon as the father- daughter dance was over Phil would join them full of misery and wanting a drink. Dil and John would soon escape their wives and join them too. The five men would sit down and laugh about the dumb things their children had done. Renée's husband would sit down with them and feel lucky that his two kids are still young. Gracie's father-in-law would join the party too and he and Phil will shake hands and discuss grandchildren. He would feel better too because he would have his buds close.
His eyes once again scan the crowd. This time looking for his other children. He fount his son Sean, now nearing his fifteen-year of age, laughing with his cousin Lucas. His son's tie had been untied and laid draped around his neck like a lounge singer. Sean ran his left hand through his blond hair and winked at a young female related to the groom. He saw his other son Alex, now fourteen, not far from his older brother, busy arm wrestling Susie's son John Junior. His tie was missing entirely and his red hair (that he had inherited from his father) was completely hidden behind his favorite baseball cap. His mother will have kittens when she sees him. He then looks for Cassandra, his youngest child, dressed in her junior bridesmaid dress. Her strawberry blond hair made her look like her late great grandmother. Half her long hair hangs in loose curls down her neck and the other half is piled on her head, red carnations and baby breath flowers tucked in tightly. She looked bored sitting near Alice. He remembered that she wanting to bring her Gameboy but her mother told her no.
He then sees his wife not too far away dressed in a lacy blue dress. She was wearing a stylish straw hat that was big in France and on the cover of Vogue. She had spent hours on the outfit she was wearing. She ordered it from some big store in New York after she threw the Italian dress she bought two weeks prior out the window. She had a bad habit of throwing garments out the window. Regardless, she looked beautiful. Like she always did.
She like him was getting up in age. Every time the children got a year older, every time the world got older so did they. He'd retire soon. Spend the rest of his time with his family. He loved his job but want to be free of rabies shots and pampered pets. He'd sell the office but keep the clinic running. The clinic was what gave him real satisfaction anymore. Helping animals in real need. Not prescribing the best hair ball remover on the market. After he sold the office he could sleep in late with Angelica, who worked out of the house since Cassandra had been born. She too didn't like missing out on the everyday moments of the children's life. He could take the kids fishing and not have to schedule anymore family outing around his hectic work schedule. He planned on laying around in his pajamas most of the day and wear one of those retirement hats his dad sported for so many years. He'd spend rest of his days enjoy life with his children and his wife without having to check on a clock. He was looking forward to it.
He then fount his eyes once more looking at his daughter Cheyenne. She was the first girl to ever steal his heart. She was his daughter, his pooh bear, his first child. She was also grown. Today made him see that so much harder then when she learned to drive or started dating. He had watched her walked down the aisle of that church that day. Her blonde hair fixed by an expert at the salon. The same flower as her sister's tucked into her hair. He watched her hold on to the bouquet of white roses, red carnations, and yellow daisy with left hand and he watched her be lead down the aisle by one of the groom's three brothers. He had thought she looked beautiful in the red gown with the pleaded waist and flowing bottom. He watched her be a member of her cousin's wedding party and was happy she wasn't the bride because he honestly didn't know if he had the strength to give her away.
While the country tune played it's way to the end his wife approached him. She gave him a knowing smile, a small piece of comfort for his breaking heart.
"Lord, it's hot in here. Let's get some air." She said to him.
"Sure." He said in return. Thankful for the rescue.
"Save us some cake." Angelica told Tommy.
"Some things never change." Tommy joked but they're were already making their way through the crowd and looking for their coats.
~**~
Angelica stood outside, her breath coming out in puffs. She rubbed her ungloved hands together before placing them in her pockets.
"Want my gloves?" He asked.
"Those gloves with this coat? No, thanks." She said, shivering.
"You bought me these gloves." He reminded her.
"Remind me to kick myself." She replied. She was still blowing air out her mouth. Watching the clouds of white form in the cold. He did the same. He really didn't feel much like talking. He wanted to just sit there in the cold. Watching small flakes of snow fall to the ground. Coating the ground with a white blanket. He wanted to just take in the scenery. Record the image in his head to remember the day when he saw his daughter was an adult. No matter how much it hurt to do so.
"You okay?" She asked softly. Breaking the chilled silence. He nods, not trusting himself with words. She knew he was lying. He wasn't very good at it.
"It's hard, isn't it?" She laid her head on his shoulder, her straw hat in her lap.
"What?" He asked, knowing before she answered.
"Knowing that our children will leave home one day." She said.
He looked to the sky. Looking for a small patch on blue. Something to tell him it wouldn't always hurt as much. He fount it. Poking out behind the looming gray clouds. Like a little lost child. It's wasn't a sign. He didn't believe in omens but its another comfort thing. Something about a blue sky just makes a person smile.
"We can always throw them in the dudgeon." He joked. She laughs and kissed him on the cheek. Her lipstick leaving behind a reminder. He laughed too.
"Do we have a dudgeon?" She asked with mock sincerity.
"I could build one." He suggested, as she climbs to her feet and offered him a hand. Stylish hat back on her head.
"You...build? You could even assembly Cassandra's bookcase without hurting yourself."
He smiled. His wife was a lot like the blue sky.
"Bite me." He replied.
She smiled too. He knew they'd be all right now. He knew the hurt wouldn't go away over night but it would subside. One day he would be able to let his kids finally turn into adults. Just like his parents had too.
"I'd rather kiss you." She said, throwing her arms around his neck.
"No objections on my part." He replied and deepened her kiss.
~**~
It was near midnight when they finally make their way home. Angelica felt guilty about keeping Cassandra out so late but the youngest Finster child had refused to leave with her grandparents. The car radio played a mellow jazz tune while all but he slept. Even his wife had nodded off. Snoring like usual.
Alex had his head rested against the window, mumbling something about oranges in his sleep. Sean had fallen asleep with his head resting against his little sister's, who had fallen asleep with her head rested on his shoulder. Cheyenne had the whole second seat to her and was sleeping peacefully.
He sipped at his mug of convenient store coffee and listen as the radio stations' DJ spoke:
"Hello all you night owls. It now 12:24 am as you help me break in a brand new day. Thanks for listening to DJK 100.8. Your station for the mellow of mellow jazz. I'm Hawk James and I want to thank all you insomniacs for listen to my show. Without all you guys and gal in radio land I would be jobless and homeless if my ex had anything to say about it. Before we go to a quick break I just want to say it might be the caffeine pills talking but today is gonna be great."
He glanced at his four children thru the review mirror and then at his wife as he pulled the cherry red mini van onto the paved drive lane.
"More like wonderful." He quietly said to DJ Hawk James.
"Defiantly wonderful."
~**~
Ending AN: So what ya think? I can't remember what inspired me to write the wedding theme thing. I think I just wanted to torture Philly too. There are some things that I need to shine some light on.
Renée (for those of you who didn't read Scenes from Here) is Phil and Lil's younger sister that I invented (duh). She was born when they were 15, so she's a lot younger then them (duh). Phil and Kimi have three children in my happy little world. Gracie (actually her name is Grace but since Dil's wife is named Grace she is nicked Gracie), Maureen (who was named after one of my favorite actress Maureen O'Hara), and Lucas. Tommy and Lil have only two children; fraternal twins named Jaina and Jason. Two things I feel the need to address here. I gave Lil the twin children instead of Phil because a female twin is more likely to have a set of twins herself. Jaina and Jason are named after Han and Leia Solo's twins from the Star Wars extended universe. Meaning book world. I left the spelling of Jaina the same but changed Jacen to Jason. Personally Anakin is my favorite Solo brat but Anakin in the naming world is only suitable for cats regardless of how nice it sounds and I wanted to name the twins after twins. Susie has two children, Megan and John Jr. Dil has a daughter named Alice (after Alice in Wonderland :p). Renée has two children as well, Clara and Sara. Ages for children below:
Megan is 22
Gracie is 20
John Jr. is 19
Cheyenne is 18
Jaina and Jason are 16 (almost 17)
Maureen is 16
Sean is 14 (almost 15)
Alex is 14
Lucas is 12
Cassandra is 10
Alice is 6
Clara is 4
Sara is 15 months
Hopefully all that above is correct. Math makes my head hurt. Don't ask for the ages of the adults, just assume their graying. Peace and Love
(Please check out my wallpaper site. Pretty Please.)