Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, I'm just an annoyed fangirl who decided to put the galaxy to rights (no, I don't have delusions of grandeur . . .)
A/N: Hey all! Guess what? My computer's working again!! Yea! The very first thing I did as soon as I could get at it was stick this next chapter on the compu w/internet and post it. So here it is - Palace of Dim Night is BACK!
Chapter XVI: Soulsore
If the Errant Venture hadn't been full of Jedi, only those closest to Tahiri would be worried about her. The blond girl was up and about and although her manner was stiff, formal and utterly unlike her, she didn't seem to be wallowing in sorrow. Outwardly, there were only normal signs of grieving.
But the Errant Venture was full of Jedi, and every thought-sensitive individual on board walked the razor edge when Tahiri stepped into a room.
Every Jedi was polite and friendly, trying desperately to block their thoughts from Tahiri and to keep hers from coming in. Regardless of what they couldn't help but sense from Tahiri, none of the Jedi could help her. There was only time left to heal that wound now, and although she was monitored constantly, the Jedi mostly left her alone. Just being in the same room as the soulsore girl discomforted many of the Jedi.
Which suited Tahiri just fine.
Most of her thoughts and memories were open now, and any Force-sensitive who cared to look could read most of her life in a few short seconds. In her opinion it wouldn't be much to digest: sand, sand, jungle, and then . . . And then her life got slightly more complicated. She found a best friend in Anakin Solo, and from the moment they met her life would go down the throat of anyone reading her, and go down hard. Fortunately for the weaker Jedi who habitually left their own recieving channels open, what little shielding she had was over those memories. Especially her most recent ones, and the path her thoughts strode every time she thought of Anakin. Which was more often than not.
There was a part of her that protested that path, and was constantly dragging behind the rest of her. That part was waning, though, as time passed and it realized that she couldn't be happy without Anakin. Maybe if they had been given the time to grow, and explore, and seep as deeply into each other's lives as Luke as Mara were, maybe then one of them could die without the other wishing to follow.
Someday. But not now.
Tahiri closed the door to her private room and locked it from the inside. Going to the refresher unit, the little part of her still protesting, she opened every door inside and turned the refresher on cleaning mode. The unit was cleaned with a gas; it could clean anything, but it was deadly to humans. Normally the refresher doors would have closed and locked her out before it began to clean itself. Tahiri, using the knowledge she'd gained from time around Anakin and his sister, simply used the Force to block those components from working. The refresher unit let out the gas, and Tahiri inhaled deeply.
It was supposed to be a painless death.