Then: The Jump Off..

1,2, 1,2, yo check this out, it's the jump off right now I want everybody, to put your work down, put your guns down and report to the pit, the gravel pit…

The tannoy system throughout the palace was alive with the sound of The Wu Tang Clan!  However owing to the fire alarm that was also going off most people were not hanging round to listen.

At the very furthest end of the vast courtyard, the rocket missile all primed and ready for launch remained inert in its silo below ground, awaiting the signal that would issue it's instructions. 

"Where's The Doctor?"  Klarg was asking Digby.

Digby just shrugged, The Doctor had explained what he had to do but it was bit technical so Digby hadn't really taken it in. 

The fire alarm had sparked an evacuation from the kitchen and maintenance areas of the palace.  Confused and drunken soiree guests were also bumbling around as fire safety officers tried to organise and account for everyone. 

Closer to the palace, imperial guards had engaged with Klarg's rebels, but still whoozy from their sonic ear bashing, were starting to wish that they hadn't.

Sensing correctly that Digby would yield him no further information Klarg left him to enter the fray.

*****

  African killers bees black watch (black watch)

On your radio, blowin out yo' watts

From Park Hill, the house on haunted hill

Every time you walk by your back get a chill

The Doctor made his way through the noise and chaos to the rocket silo launch.  The nose cone could be seen protruding through the ground with smoke billowing up around it.

Kneeling down The Doctor set about dismantling the warhead.

I spit like a semi-automatic to the grill

Klarg and his men were mopping up the imperial forces.  Most of whom had surrendered, apart form a hardcore group intent on defending the control centre.

"Is there something we should know Doctor?"  Klarg was at his side.

"I've put a jamming signal on the missile to prevent its launch, however its engines are still trying to start and the rockets overheating…" The Doctor explained without looking up.

"You mean the rocket could go off any moment?"

"There's still time but the biological warhead must be disabled, I need some of your strongest men to carry it to safety, get everyone else evacuated!"

"Can't you just stop it from exploding?"

"Not without getting back into the control centre and it's too well guarded!"

"It's a simple choice Klarg, either we allow this missile to launch itself on one of the most densely populated areas of Jawa Dephra, or we let it blow up the palace." 

Party people gather round, count down to apocalypse The Wu Tang Clan boomed.

"Can you at least shut off that racket?"  Klarg asked as he left to make the necessary arrangements.

*****

…   don't front

You had it for a minute but it seem like a month!

Inside the control room it was bedlam, another Technician had been shot for insubordination.  He had actually tried to evacuate the building believing it to be on fire.

"I WANT THAT MISSILE UP IN THE AIR GRAYVOR!!!"  Strakov screeched.

"It's not responding to anything I try!"

Strakov placed a gun to his temple, "perhaps you just need the right kind of motivation."

*****

The High Council of Jawar Dephra looked on at the antics in the control room with amusement. 

"Do we still need to arrange a parade Mister President?"  One of the ministers enquired.

"Oh yes," The President acknowledged, "one way or the other we will either be celebrating or commiserating tomorrow." 

He was still stood on the chair tapping his feet to Digby's music. 

"Quite good aren't they?"  He said to his cultural minister, "Who are they again?"

"Sounded like they called themselves The Rutan Clan Mister President."

The President Elect was very surprised at this; as since anyone could remember the warlike Rutans had been engaged in a long protracted conflict with neighbouring Sontaran forces. 

Who would've thought that they had time for music too?

"Contact their cultural minister, see if we can book them for the parade."

******

"Lord Strakov," Professor Grayvor's voice was very tense, "it appears that the biological warhead has been dismantled."

"IMPOSSIBLE!"  Strakov boomed without really knowing whether it was or not. 

  I'm the one that called your bluff

When your boy tried to act tough...

There was a crackling and suddenly The Wu-Tang Clan faded out. 

"We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special announcement."  It was The Doctor's voice on the headset, "You have approximately until the end of this wonderful song to evacuate, before the whole place blows up, in the meantime, party on!"

The music was back in time for the chorus, and Strakov shot The Professor, after all it was the next best thing to killing a Doctor.

(Back, back and forth and forth…)

Check out my gravel pit

(Back, back and forth and forth…)

A mystery unravelling…

As Professor Grayvor's lifeless corpse hit the deck, the remaining technicians and guards were halfway towards the exit. 

Ignoring them Strakov turned towards his beloved elevated chair and sat down.  Aside from the cup holder there was one other ingenious feature that Strakov had insisted be incorporated into its design. 

He opened the secret compartment and his fingers hovered over the switch. 

"Strakov!"  It was The Doctor from the other end of the room.

"So Doctor come to gloat?"

"No I just came to switch off the tannoy," replied The Doctor sarcastically, "it's beginning to get on peoples nerves!"

Strakov raised his gun. 

"Really Strakov if you could just turn it down a little for the sake of your neighbours…"

"Your wit is tiresome Doctor!"

"As is your megalomania Strakov, call it a day why don't you?  Your army has surrendered, the palace is evacuated, and the fleet have been recalled from space…"

"This isn't the end Doctor!  I have an army loyal to me in the south, and a whole arsenal of missiles hidden elsewhere!  This is only the beginning!"

So saying Strakov flicked the switch in the secret compartment of his chair, an engine sprang alive somewhere in the chairs base, and the roof of the control centre parted in the middle allowing the chair to propel Strakov skywards.

He cackled and fired at The Doctor missing his head by inches.  The Doctor sighed as he watched the ridiculous contraption disappear into the distance.

"Sometimes I miss The Master," he muttered.

A bleeping noise reminded The Doctor why he was there; to shut down the missile, he was really going to let the palace blow up if he could really help it, but a quick glance at the ever-rising temperature controls for the silo told him that he was too late. 

There were only seconds to spare before the whole thing blew.

*****

From a safe distance the evacuee's witnessed the explosion ripping through the sky reducing the palace to rubble. 

Digby was finishing the last of the biscuits. 

"Anyone seen The Doctor?"  Klarg was asking around.

Digby shrugged, "does that mean I can't go home?"

*****