Chapter 5: Rocky Ground
Longest chapter yet! *cheers*
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Days of light and mirth followed. Legolas and Estel wandered freely beneath amongst the forest, laughing, singing, and enjoying each other's company. Of course, both were a little hesitant and wary of the other, especially Estel, for he feared to take a wrong step and lose the elf in this weak bond they had. Legolas, though, did not seem afraid of losing Estel. He was up to his normal behavior, teasing the "weak human" and constantly outdoing him in many things. Both though agreed on one thing: always keeping themselves a secret. Most of their outings occurred at night, under the veil of darkness, and during the day they kept respectable distance, sometimes passing glances but never staying to converse.
"1000," Legolas muttered under his breath on one of these outings. Estel turned from where he had been swinging his sword around at an invisible enemy, now looking up at Legolas in the tree.
"What did you say?" he asked, sheathing his sword and coming to stand beneath Legolas. Legolas shrugged.
"Just that tomorrow I would reach 1000 years of age," he repeated. Estel's eyes grew wide, and he scrambled up the tree to join the elf.
"I should know of the immortality of the elves," he breathed, "yet this is a new amazement to me! I would not expect that in your youthful nature." Legolas smirked at Estel now.
"Look at yourself, Estel. You claim to be a man of twenty years, do you not, yet I find just as much child in you!" Estel huffed and sat down beside Legolas, swinging his legs back and forth. Legolas grinned at him and put an arm around him. "Ah, little Estel, are you hurt? I am sorry, but I suppose your foster parents are here to take care of you." Estel threw off Legolas' arm, and both fell into a fit of laughter.
"Still," Estel continued, "as you, told of your life to me in these long nights, you spoke as if it was just a short time." Legolas' face turned grave, and he looked to the stars.
"It is but a piece of time to me," he said slowly. "To the elves the passage of years feels faster. What is there for us to worry about? We cannot die, and we have eternity ahead of us!" He spread his arms wide. "All of these lands can be ours forever, Estel. The elves can watch the world change as long as they wish. The events, which I described to you, were but a tithe of the life ahead of me, however long that life might be. To me, it feels only fifteen years of my life have passed, yet so much time has gone by. One thousand years, though it might be a baffling number, is not as many as you would expect. I am no young elf, but I am not old, either, which could be an explanation for my sometimes playful moods. Or, you could say I am naturally young, as many of our kind are." Estel gulped and felt very sorry he had even brought up this matter. "But come Estel; do not look so hurt by these deep words! The ages of the world await me, and I welcome them with open arms, ready to accept every gift that immortality has for me." Suddenly, he peered at Estel strangely. "Yet, I realized, as I pour my life out to you, what do I hear of your tales? You have told me some of your life in Rivendell, yes, but what before that? What else was there in your life?" Now it was Estel's turn to turn solemn, and a new light of sadness came to his eyes.
"All I hear are stories of my life and little snippets of my own fractured memory," he whispered, "but for you, I will tell you as much as I can, though it might not be enough to please you." He took a deep breath and began.
"My parents lived to the north, my father one of the Dúnedain, my mother another human. I cannot remember even my father's face; for when I was too young to have memory, he fell in battle. My mother slowly wasted away, and my first years I can see were spent watching my mother cry by her bedside. She was a fair woman, my mother, I remember, yet her face was always sunken and pale.
"Then, when I was ten, a night came, and I did not feel content. I was restless, and my mother mirrored this feeling, I suspect, for I heard much movement downstairs. I crept to my door to listen, but as I opened it, my mother flew inside, pushing me backwards frantically. 'Aragorn, my dear, you must get out of here," she whispered to me. 'They have come for you and you must get out. Take a horse and make haste to Rivendell. It is to the south, at the feet of the Misty Mountains. You must leave here now, or they will find you like they found him.' She hugged me tightly once before shoving me away, towards one of the doors. 'Go, my son, go!' I could not move though, seeing her like this, disheveled and hysterical. She motioned to the door, but I could not take another step back." Estel paused in his story then, choking on a lump in his throat. "I could hear those attackers, looking for me, for her, and she ran from the room in hopes to distract them, calling one last time for me to go.
"But it was in that moment that another sound came, her shrill cry, more footsteps and more weapons. I could not stand it; my mother was dying out there, and I ran to save her in any way I could, but when I entered the next room, I found a startling sight.
"There were bodies lying around the floor, and one was my mother. I did not even look up but instead ran to her. She was dead, stabbed through the heart. I do not know how long I held her, but a hand on my shoulder alerted me back to the real world. I looked up, and above me were three elves.
'Aragorn, Estel o Edain,' one elf whispered. The fair words enchanted me, but I could not let my mother go. 'Come,' he said now. 'We are elves from Rivendell, come by your mother's commands. I am Glorfindel, and these are my companions, Elrohir and Elladan, sons of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell.' He held out his hand, and I tentatively took it, looking once more at the bloody body that was once my mother. I tried to ask them questions, but they shushed me, assuring me that in due time I would have the needed explanations." He stopped now. "The rest you know."
Legolas looked open mouthed at the human, Estel, or Aragorn, or whatever his name might be. Estel turned his face on him, tears glittering in his eyes. Legolas could not face that sad face.
"I am sorry I brought it up," Legolas said hastily. It was in these moments that he always felt unsure. Should he put his arms around Estel and hold him, should he comfort him as a lover would? Now, he merely jumped from the tree, holding out his hand for Estel to follow.
"No," Estel whispered, "I need some time to muse alone." Legolas hung his head then and walked away out into the darkness, leaving Estel sitting upon the tree branch. Once the elf was far out of sight, Estel let the tears come.
***
Haldir strolled through the garden, singing a sweet song to himself as he often did. He looked up to the light of the fading moon, noting it was almost morning. Still, even with night fading, he did not dare return to his room, for there, there would be no chance of catching a glimpse of Legolas or finding that despicable Estel. He had done something to Legolas, Haldir was sure; he tormented him at night, tortured him. The elf would not even talk to Haldir now, and when they passed in the halls, Legolas would turn the other way.
Haldir waited too long to talk to the human. Estel should have been put in his place long ago, long before any of this ever happened. He was unsure of where he belonged. Haldir smiled. He could show him.
Suddenly, there came footsteps around the corner. Haldir looked up, and out from the woods came a man. He looked up, saw Haldir glaring at him, and made to walk the other way, but this time, he would not escape.
"Legolas!" he called, grabbing Legolas' arm and spinning him around. Legolas tried to let go, but Haldir's grip was too strong. "Legolas, why are you avoiding me?"
"Let go," Legolas warned. "Let go of me Haldir. I do not want to speak with you." Haldir tightened his grip.
"But we must speak, Legolas, and I know that if I let go, you will bolt from me and there will be no chance of another conversation." Legolas looked up at Haldir with a calm face.
"Haldir that is why you must let me go. Do not think that I deny you friendship or time. No, I do not, but at this moment, I cannot confront you. For both of us right now it would be better if we did not speak to each other." Well, at least Legolas is talking straight now, not just going around in circles like before. Haldir did let his hand drop now, but Legolas did not step away.
"Haldir, another time we can converse on any matters you wish." Legolas smiled reassuringly. "Trust me on this, if you trust nothing else that I have done. Trust that I am not afraid to speak but only afraid of what my speech might do to you, mellon." Haldir turned away at the word, unable to hate the elf truly yet feeling any shred of love for this night slowly dissipating.
"Legolas, your words are only that to you, are they not? When would it be that you would take time away to talk with me, Haldir? Legolas, we have the night ahead of us! Please," he begged, "for I need...to hear your voice." Legolas' gaze fell to the floor, and he coughed nervously. Haldir came and put a hand under his chin to lift up the elf's head. Their eyes met.
"What is it that he has done to you?" Haldir whispered, almost giddy at the closeness to Legolas now. He leaned in, and their faces were mere inches apart. "Dear Legolas, how did Estel turn you against me?'
"Did he do it?" Legolas wondered, calm as always, yet unlike he had been in many weeks. "Was he truly the culprit here, or is there another that drove me to this 'separation?'" Haldir almost took a step back.
"Legolas, I know you loathe him. Yet, I have seen you escape through the night with him, and you both flee to the woods together. Would you do this on your own free will? I doubt that fully. He is a human, Legolas. You would never befriend a human!" Haldir almost pleaded now.
"Human I cannot deny. He is human in every sense of the word," Legolas responded. "But that does not mean I would not show him friendship, kindness." Haldir shook his head and stepped away.
"He has done something powerful to you, Legolas. Stop these lies now, please, for you are not yourself!"
"No, Haldir, I am myself. You must understand. Once I am ready, I will explain, but now is not the time." Legolas took a few steps towards the doorway, and when Haldir made to follow, he bolted for safety.
***
"Another banquet?" Estel groaned. Legolas sadly nodded his head while sidestepping another one of Estel's misfired arrows. He hastily apologized, but Legolas shrugged, picking up the arrow.
"Don't worry about it," he said, replacing it by the human's side. "I know you are never going to have much skill with an arrow, so I do not care." Estel glared at Legolas, who returned to his customary spot beside the target. It was his way of helping Estel to shoot straighter. The human would learn soon enough how to shoot if Legolas was in danger.
"Still, it has been a while since the last," Estel continued, as he drew back the bowstring. Legolas cocked his head and thought for a moment. A strand of hair fell down in front of face, and Estel accidentally let go of his arrow. It soared through the air, and he let out a cry.
"Legolas!" Legolas grinned and sidestepped just as the arrow brushed past him. Estel sighed deeply and put a hand on his chest.
"You know," Legolas commented, "if you were aiming for me, you would have hit your mark perfectly." Estel glared at him and retrieved the arrow, placing it with the others beside him and unstringing his bow. Legolas kept back a sigh at seeing the human readying to leave so soon, even though they would have to part.
"I suppose we should go," Estel said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Legolas nodded, a little smile on his lips, and he made to leave, turning out of the large practice room towards the door. Estel hastily threw down his supplies and ran up to Legolas, catching up with him. The human had a very long gait, and when he ran, it was very clumsy almost. Legolas grinned at it as Estel slowed to a halt, getting his legs under him and striding along beside Legolas. Legolas now was the one who had to hurry to keep up, for Estel's strides were wide and he covered much ground in a short time.
They walked in silence through the halls. When they came to Estel's corridor, that of honored guests, Legolas squeezed his hand. With a smile, Estel mouthed the words "until tonight" and disappeared down the hallway. Legolas glanced back once before turning about to his own rooms, his spirits light as he walked, singing a tune beneath his breath. He doubted that even if Haldir walked down this corridor his spirits would be at all dampened. He spent the entire morning practicing swordplay with Estel, and the afternoon they worked on archery skills. Estel, slowly, was improving, and though Legolas felt that he still had a little human slowness about him, he was shaping up to become a good archer.
Yes, he had had a good day. Almost every day, or night, was good, spent with Estel. Even though it took him a little time to work through the fact that the nagging feeling in the back of his heart was in fact compassion, he did realize it and enjoyed every moment after. Estel was quite a good companion, not always the most talkative, sometimes falling into dark moods where he did not speak, but having him there felt...right, like Estel belonged close to Legolas.
Always in his life, he craved for that, to have someone there that felt good to have. When he was a child, by elvish standards, he lost his mother, and his father was never much comfort. He had his servants, but all of his playful antics got to them, and they would huff about and gripe about his behavior. Not until Haldir came did he have a true friend by his side, but even then, it was awkward in an unexplainable way. But Estel walked into his life, and, of course, after Legolas figured out what he felt, he knew in his marrow that Estel was right. He was that companion Legolas lacked, the friend, the confident. He was Estel, hope.
Legolas reached his rooms and turned the knob. He stepped inside, still lighthearted, with a spring in his step. Light spilled through the open curtains, and he breathed in the fresh air from outside. Quickly, he undressed and bathed, brushing over and over his hair, for Estel had commented often about it, how he loved its shine, its silky texture. Legolas would not let Estel down. He fixed it back slowly before moving from his bathroom out to his other rooms. He found his clothes and slipped into them. He glanced around the room, wondering briefly if he was missing anything, but he found nothing. He stepped over to the full length mirror and admired himself in it. His hair practically glowed, and Legolas ran a bit through his hands. The fine strands caressed his skin gently, and he closed his eyes, smiling. Of course, he only dressed in his best this night: a slivery blue tunic with silver leggings. He grinned once, grimaced, jeered, smiled, laughed, and made all manner of faces before being content that no matter what expression, he would not somehow fall to disarray.
"Estel will love it," he whispered as he stepped out from his room. It was time for the banquet, and for once in his life, he did not dread its coming.
***
The meal passed without any problems. Arwen did have Estel engaged in conversation for most of it, but Legolas inwardly smirked, for soon, Estel would be all his. Haldir was present this time, and he made small talk with Legolas through the meal. Legolas went through with it as best he could, dreading the polite words exchanged between them. Always, he felt that Haldir drilled into him, tried to find what the golden prince was thinking, but, as always, Legolas cut him off with a polite smile.
Finally, the dinner ended, but because it was a much smaller affair, no great ball followed. Legolas excused himself a little earlier, or tried to, that is, but Thranduil held up a hand to stop him.
"No, there is an announcement before that." He looked over to Elrond, who nodded. "The delegation from Rivendell must depart on the morrow..." Legolas did not hear the other words as he froze in his chair. His eyes automatically shifted back to Estel, who also had gone a little rigid.
"But...the have only been here a month!" Legolas stammered, suddenly catching himself a little late. He bowed his head. "Excuse me; that was out of place," he said cynically, though he tried to bury that in his submission. Damn their rules! Estel could not leave now! Thranduil put a hand on his son's shoulder.
"There is business for them in Rivendell they must attend to."
"Yes, we have overstayed as is and must return back to our own home. Do not think that we refuse your hospitality, but it is time," Elrond interjected. He smiled knowing at Legolas before rising himself. "I must say though that it is time to break for the night. The moon is high and the night birds are silent for the middle of this time. Our beds call." He bowed to Thranduil and Legolas before walking slowly out, his robes swishing behind him.
Legolas rose after him, quickly saying his farewells before almost bolting from the hall, his heart pounding. He escaped from there and ran for the grounds and out into the safety of the trees.
Not long after, he heard the sound of footfalls and looked back to see Estel following him, jumping over tree roots and scrambling to catch up with the elf. Legolas slowed to a halt and waited for him. The human came up, panting, and bowed his head.
"I am sorry," he whispered. "I am sorry we must leave!" Legolas sighed and turned around, his blood boiling at the banquet and at this new news.
"There must be some way! Oh, all of these formalities, all of this politeness! Can we not escape royalties net, just for a little while? Now, that threatens to take you away from me!" He stormed off in the other direction, only to come back, pacing. "Estel, imagine it, a day without all of this! Overstayed? Never have they overstayed. Lord Elrond should know just well about my father's hospitality. He would keep you here forever! He would not care, but bound by politeness, he excuses himself before he 'overstays'. And in the process, he dares to snatch you away!" Legolas leaned on a tree. "Can it not go away?"
"No," Estel began, "it cannot go away, but we cane escape it. Many a day I dreamed of taking a horse and riding for miles without restraint, never looking back to wherever I came from. Legolas, come with me! Let us ride. I do not know where, but we can ride forever if we must. Live again, my dear elf friend, if you crave that. Break the bars of your cage! But," he added, "Promise me one thing. When you do find freedom, take me with you. Do not run off without forgetting one poor, foolish human too enamored with you to think of anything else." Estel took a few steps forward and seized both of Legolas' hands. "Legolas, promise me that, and I shall promise it to you. When we find freedom, we will not part."
"We will not part, no matter what," Legolas scolded him. "Nothing can break us!" Looking back, Legolas would laugh, but then, he meant it with all sincerity. Estel too nodded fiercely.
"Yes!" he agreed. "Never." Suddenly, he got an idea. He held both of Legolas' hand to his chest before pressing them to Legolas' chest. "As a sign," he explained, "that this promise comes from the heart; that our hearts shall always be there." Legolas smiled sadly at this.
"Our hearts shall always be within the other." They lapsed into silence now. Legolas moved away from the tree and off into the forest. It thinned around him into a clearing, and he beckoned for Estel to follow. The human complied.
"I have never seen this before," he said after a pause. "Have you come here?" A stream ran through the clearing, small, with bright waters. The stars danced off it and played over the grass. The moon shone through the break in the trees, casting silvery shadows over every surface. Legolas suddenly laughed and flung himself upon the ground, burying his face in the grass. Estel could not tell now whether or not the elf cried or laughed, but when he rolled over, there were no tears on his face.
"I come here often," he explained to Estel. He patted the ground. "Come and look up at the stars." Estel sighed but agreed, lying down beside the elf.
"How long can one stare at the stars?" Estel wondered. Legolas pouted and raised himself on one elbow.
"A long time, so you should be patient," he chided. Estel put up his hands in fear, causing Legolas to laugh, just a little. "Still, I could admire them forever. Look around you, Estel. See how beautiful the forest is? Let us enjoy this time now, for it is our last night for a while. Please, Estel, admire the stars for a little while." They fell silent, prey now to their own thoughts and dreams, musing over the farewell to come, the night itself, the calming breeze above them, the gentle sway of the trees, and whatever else came in this moment of peace. Legolas sighed deeply.
"Now do you see?" he asked. "Now do you see why the forest is so beautiful?" He looked down at Estel, who had his eyes closed. The human was so peaceful, his features still and perfect, almost elvin in their appearance. They had the mortal edge to them, but Legolas detected signs of immortal blood in this man. So beautiful, such a wonderful mortal.
Impulsively, Legolas leaned down, his face only inches away from Estel. He stopped, wondering what exactly he was doing and whether or not he should. What would Estel do? How would he react? Still, that face...
Legolas closed the distance between them and pressed his lips down on Estel's cheek. Warmth ran through him, and he felt Estel shift, start, his face moving as his eyes shot open. Legolas felt no fear and closed his own eyes before jumping away and springing to his feet. There was a look of horror, happiness, consternation, and mirth on his face at once. Estel reached to his cheek where he felt the tingling of the elf's lips and made to rise, but before he could, Legolas was gone from him, running off into the distance. Estel called after him, but the elf would not turn.
Legolas ran for a while before stopping, his heart pounding, but not because of exertion. He just kissed the man! Kissed Estel! Kissed Aragorn! He shivered, even though the weather was pleasant. The human had truly stolen Legolas' heart away.
"Legolas!" the call came, and Legolas whirled around to see Estel coming after him. Estel stopped a few paces away. Both panted.
"Estel," Legolas began, but Estel took a step forward, a dreamy look in his eye. Legolas felt a strange feeling from the human, and it seeped under his skin and into every pore of his body. He stepped forward also until he felt Estel's hot breath on his face. Estel's face glistened with tears, and Legolas' heart broke. Suddenly, he felt a hand behind his head, and Estel leaned down, placing his lips on Legolas' mouth.
Legolas burned all over, but it was not a searing burn, no, a comfortable, warming touch. He put his arms around Estel's shoulders and pressed into that kiss as much force as he could. He was running out of air, but that did not matter. No, he would rather die than leave now. He would rather die than leave the warmth of his lover's arms, the strength the man. The tingling throughout his arms, the burn within his heart, the blankness of his mind, pure euphoria. One moment that destroyed whatever Legolas had been, morphed him and twisted him with every second in the man's arms. Not even the royal façade could break this bond. No, he was unshielded to it, for once in his life. Pure Legolas, pure life, pure elf. Pure love towards this strange human from Imladris, Estel, the Man from the North, Aragorn, as he said.
He would rather die.
***
They made their way back to the palace slowly, meandering through the forest, content to have the touch of the other's hands and the sound of their breath. There were no words for this moment; words were harmful, hurtful. Only the silent gestures truly lasted.
The courtyard appeared, and Legolas stepped first onto the stones. Estel gulped and stepped too, taking Legolas by the elbows and staring deep into the ice-blue eyes. Legolas smiled an almost teary smile, though no tears yet fell, and Estel touched his hand to the elf's cheek. Legolas yearned for another taste of the man's lips, but no, that was sacred to them, a foreign land that enticed them yet repelled them still. The barrier that held them apart before kept them bound here.
So, Legolas settled with pecking Estel's cheek before turning away and walking out into the brightening twilight. Estel sighed once, touched his cheek, and turned back his own way, his stomach turning over and his heart fluttering on silver wings. He sat down on the bench to steady his swirling mind and closed his eyes, letting his thoughts drift and wander.
Still, something felt wrong. He opened his eyes, and the image of Legolas dissipated from before his eyelids. He glanced around but found no trace of anyone lingering in the courtyard. But, something was out of place. The birds were silent, when their calls should have begun, the earliest calls for before sunrise. He shut his eyes to listen better and inclined his head to the silence.
There, a footfall, and another, almost silent that sound, along with the slow pulling of a sword from its scabbard. Estel tensed and reached to his belt where he kept one dagger on him at all times. He loosened it in its sheath and waited with baited breath. The person approached, and the sound of his feet fell to nothing. Estel opened his eyes and tightened his legs, ready to spring up at the slightest sign of an attack.
Noiselessly, it came. Estel felt the push of metal against his throat, and he stopped, loosening up now. A face appeared beside his, and he turned his eyes to look at it.
"Haldir," he spat. Haldir growled at him and lifted away the sword, but his hand grabbed Estel's arm before the man could move. He flung Estel against the nearest tree and held the sword point to his neck.
"What have you done to Legolas?" Haldir asked, his eyes glowing with malice. "I see him, discontent, worried all the time. What do you do to him these nights? Torment him? Do you take advantage of the beauty of elves, you sick human?" Estel almost felt fear, but mirth replaced that. Ignorant Haldir had not caught on. Estel never liked him and always felt that Haldir had an ill-favored look. He was quick to temper and possessive, affable when it pleased him but never really the most trustworthy.
"Please remove your sword from my neck and I might fell more inclined to speak," he said coolly, trying to act as confident as he could. Haldir responded by pressing just a little harder.
"You are avoiding my question! I don't want Legolas harmed, simple as that. Legolas means something to me." Estel smirked at the weak words and caught Haldir off guard. Of course, it would probably come back to him, but now, it felt like the right thing to do.
"Human, do not play games with me."
"Why do you refer to me as a human? Was I not raised by the elves for much of my life? Would it not seem that I should not be as inferior as that title proclaims? Truthfully, even your precious Legolas ceased to use it long ago. As it were," he grinned, "I thought you might have too." Haldir did not respond, and Estel used this to his advantage. He slammed down the blade, and sprang away lightly just as Legolas had taught him. Haldir recovered quickly though and put his sword up. He was shaken but did not mean to show it. Estel calmly bowed his head, intending to step away now, but Haldir would not allow it. He jumped in front of Estel's path and forced him back, step by step.
"Now, Haldir, get some sense. What would I do to Legolas?" Estel's patience was running out on him. He did not want to deal with this and wanted a few hours of sleep before the movement around the palace would be too much or Arwen would come knocking on his door. He let out an exasperated sigh and crossed his arms. This was out of hand.
"What does Legolas mean to you to threaten me with sword?" he asked. "Haldir, your friend understands you. Legolas respects you. And I must say that I have never done anything to harm Legolas in any way shape or form...purposefully." Haldir did not back down.
"He changed," Haldir said. "He changed." His voice was almost pleading now, but Estel did not relent.
"Just let me go free from this," he said. "I mean no harm to Legolas, and I shall do none to him. Now put down your sword." Before Haldir could move, there was another noise and a sharp gasp.
"Haldir!"
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ooh!
Hope you liked that chapter! Heheheheh! Didn't think I'd ever get around to getting them kissing!
Reviews are much appreciated.
But flames will be flamed...by a flamethrower.