Broken Promises

Chapter Four

"Frank…..Frank, wake up," Laura urged him as she shook his arm lightly.

Immediately awake, he sat up quickly and looked at her. Something in the sound of her voice told him that he hadn't merely overslept. In fact, he could tell that it was just barely after sunrise.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked her as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"I think there's someone watching the house," she informed him, a slight frown on her face.

He rose from the bed quickly, grabbing yesterday's hastily discarded pants and sliding them up his long legs. "What makes you think someone's watching the house?"

"I went out to get the paper, and I saw someone….a man I think…..in a car a few houses down. He was just sitting there, staring at me, and besides, it's a car I haven't seen before."

After zipping up his jeans, he'd quickly pulled on a t-shirt and was now headed for the bedroom door. "Are the kids up yet?" he asked as he made his way down the hall and to the front window in the living room.

"No….but they will be soon. Frank….why would someone be watching the house? Does this have something to do with this case that you'll be working on?" she inquired, suddenly concerned about the safety of the children.

"Probably……but not in the way you think," he informed her as he peered out the window in the direction she'd indicated. Sure enough, a late model black sedan was sitting no more than 50 yards away, with the driver inside not even attempting to hide his presence. Frank nearly growled, annoyed by the car being there and what it obviously meant.

"What do you mean, not in the way I think?"

Pulling back from the window, he sat on the arm of the sofa and looked at her. "It's the CIA," he quietly told her, trying to sound like it was no big deal, although deep down inside, Frank was seething.

"The CIA? Why would they be watching the house?" she asked a little perplexed.

Frank sighed and looked down at his hands which were locked together in front of him. "It's insurance…..they want to make sure that I don't make a run for it…..they're trying to make it painfully clear that I have no options to get out of this."

Laura stared at his bent head, and considered his words. When he first told her about this new assignment, he'd told her that he didn't have any choice in the matter. She'd assumed that he meant that it was important enough in his eyes to risk losing everything. She never once had thought that he'd been literally forced into accepting. Why else would they be watching the house? Are they trying to intimidate him? A thought suddenly occurred to her…..something she hadn't thought of before. They'd threatened him, but not with his life.

"They threatened to come after us, didn't they? That's why you're doing this…..they forced your hand by threatening to go after your wife and children……" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Oh Jesus……they wouldn't……would they?" she asked him as a chill ran up her spine.

He looked up at her and for a split second, he considered lying to her about it. She's a smart woman, Frank…..tell her the truth for God's sake. "Yes…..Marsh made a few comments that lead me to believe that something might happen to you or the kids if I didn't cooperate." He saw the myriad of emotions flashing in her eyes. Anger…..concern…..fear……and mostly he saw regret. He knew what she'd thought about him taking on this mission. That he'd done it out of some sort of twisted obligation, and he'd let her believe that. It was better than having to tell her that her life and the lives of their children were in danger.

"Frank…..I thought……" she couldn't finish her sentence as tears once again ran down her cheeks and blurred her vision. "I'm so sorry….."

Frank rose from his position on the arm of the couch and pulled her toward him, wrapping his arms around her. "I know….I know…..it's OK. It's what I wanted you to believe. You have so many other things to worry about. I wanted to spare you this one last thing," he whispered to her as he held her as tightly as he could. After the events of yesterday, he didn't think she'd ever permit him to hold her again. Even as they slept last night, she'd stayed as far away from him as their bed would allow.

As she held on to him, her face buried in the hollow of his neck, she thought back through everything that she'd said to him less than 24 hours ago and felt horrible. She'd been caught so far off guard with his announcement that she hadn't been able to see what she knew was the truth. Frank didn't want to return to the CIA, and she should have figured out why he would do this thing, instead of letting her anger blind her.

Pulling back from him slightly, she looked up into his eyes and opened her mouth to apologize once more, but he stopped her before she had a chance. "Don't….please…..don't apologize. You had every right to be angry, and you still do. What did you say last night? You didn't want to waste another minute. Well, neither do I…….neither do I." The last words were nearly inaudible as he spoke them against her lips. Slowly…gently…..tentatively, he kissed her. He was afraid at first at how she might react. Was she still going to pull away? Had he drastically misunderstood her change in behavior?

Before he could contemplate the situation further, he felt her snake her arms around his neck, one hand plunging into the hair at the back of his head and pulling him more fully into the kiss. It was all the encouragement he needed. All of the feelings of the past two days came flooding out as if a dam had broken somewhere within both of them. The kiss was desperate, needy, passionate and healing, all at the same time, leaving both of them breathless as they clung to each other. If the timing had been different, he would have taken her back to bed, but they both knew that the children would be up very soon. There would be time later…..at least for a few days.

Frank held Laura almost impossibly close to him. He needed to feel her….to touch her. His hands skimmed across her body, caressing….stroking, as his lips lingered at the sensitive areas on her neck.

Laura was slowly losing all coherent thought as Frank continued his unhurried, tender assault on her body. He was right…..they had such precious little time left for regrets, accusations or apologies. She needed this man, just as surely as she required air to breathe, and to think that she'd almost allowed her anger and hurt to rob them of what they both desperately needed……to share the closeness and love that consumed them.

Before either one of them became totally swept away by the moment, they began to hear movement upstairs. The children. Ever the perpetual early birds, Alicia and Christopher would soon be coming down the stairs in search of their breakfast. Frank pulled back slightly and rested his forehead against Laura's.

"I want to keep the kids home from school for the rest of the week," he told her quietly as he stared into her soft green eyes.

She began to object, but quickly realized that the next few days may be the last time Frank would see the children for maybe quite some time. She closed her eyes and sighed sadly. "All right……but when do you plan on telling them about this assignment?"

Frank didn't answer right away. Instead he pulled back even further and really looked at his wife. He studied her features intently, almost as if he were committing every line and curve to memory. He brought his hands up and gently cupped her face, his fingers lightly dancing across her skin. He tucked a stray hair behind her ear, and thought back to the very first day that he'd seen her.

Coming back to the US after having lived in Columbia for so long was an eye opening experience for Frank. That, coupled with the fact that a very real part of him still thought of himself as Luis Mendoza, was making this transition back even harder than usual. For nearly a year and a half, he had been Luis Mendoza. He'd lived the life of a drug cartel operative while secretly gathering enough information and evidence to aid the DEA and any other agency in their attempts to halt or at least slow down some of the rampant drug trade.

His life there had not been entirely bad. Harsh at times, yes, but he'd still managed to find some enjoyment from time to time. The persona that he'd built for himself was one of a quiet loner. Tough……loyal……quick-tempered……..someone not to be fooled with. Just the type of person that the cartel leaders wanted as part of their inner circle. What most people didn't understand about criminals is that they aren't bad people all of the time. In fact, most have loving, caring families that they adore….friends that they're fiercely loyal to……all of the things that the regular law-abiding citizen has in their own life. This other side, was what Frank had been able to enjoy.

As Frank sat in this woman's office, he became antsy. He hated being kept waiting. He didn't care what the higher-ups thought, he didn't need any god damned shrink screwing with his head. He was fine! Why wouldn't anyone believe that?

He rose suddenly from the chair and paced around the floor, finally stopping at the window. Looking outside, he suddenly felt out-of-sorts. He saw people coming and going, walking through their ordinary everyday lives. Frank frowned trying to remember the last time he'd had an ordinary life. He couldn't. That was a component of the problem. The other was that he had no idea what a normal life was anymore. Part of him understood the reason for the therapy, but the other part wanted to get the hell out and go off by himself somewhere.

As he stared out the window, he could just see his reflection in the pane of glass. His hand came up and traced the line of his beard and moustache and then glided through his long, shoulder-length hair. For a split second he felt like he was looking at a stranger and not himself. That's why you need a psychiatrist! He still didn't want to be there, but he finally accepted the fact that it was essential.

Nearly lost in thought, he almost didn't hear the door open behind him. Turning, he saw a blond woman enter the room and smile at him. His eyes took in the sight of her. She wore a simple white blouse and a gray linen suit with a skirt that ended a couple of inches above her knees. He noticed immediately that her legs were shapely and long and just begged to be touched. His eyes slowly drifted up to meet hers and he didn't even try to hide the fact that he'd been checking her out. If his perusal bothered her, she gave no indication of it.

But the instant he really looked at her face and not just her body, he was certain that he was looking at the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life. Sure, there were plenty of beautiful women in the world……super models……picture perfect actresses, but none of them were real. Illusions….nothing more. The woman that stood before him was stunning….breathtaking in his eyes. Maybe it was the contrast from what he'd grown used to seeing over the past eighteen months that made her beauty even more pronounced. He wasn't sure, but for the first time in a very long time, Frank was speechless…….utterly speechless.

"Frank?" Laura looked at him with a slight frown on her face. She'd asked him a question and he'd suddenly gotten this far away look in his eyes. Several seconds later, he still had yet to answer. "Frank? What's wrong?"

His eyes cleared and he looked into her eyes once more and smiled. "Sorry……just daydreaming."

A confused smile graced her face. "Daydreaming? About what?"

"You," he answered simply. "I was just remembering the very first time that I saw you."

She laughed softly. "What on earth made you think of that?"

He shook his head and shrugged slightly. "I have no idea. I just had this flashback of when you walked into your office and I saw you for the first time."

"Ahhhhh……you mean when you were shamelessly checking me out?" she asked him as her arms around his waist tightened.

Chuckling, he replied, "I wasn't exactly being subtle about it, was I?"

Smiling warmly, she replied, "No….subtle would not be a word that I'd use to describe you at all back then. I kind of felt like a gazelle being stalked by a lion. Your eyes followed me everywhere. I never knew what you were going to say or do."

"You mesmerized me. I knew my only reason for seeing you is so you could help me get back to being who I was before the assignment, but part of me wanted to fight that happening so that I could continue having sessions with you."

"I saw the way you stared at me, and for a few seconds I thought I was going to have to have your case reassigned."

"Why didn't you?" he asked her, suddenly curious.

She shrugged her shoulders and a hint of a mischievous smile graced her lips. "I don't know……maybe it's because I couldn't stop looking at you either." She smiled at him sheepishly. "Rather unprofessional, huh?"

"Why doctor…….I'm shocked," he mocked her. "I actually would have never guessed. I thought you were always looking at me with a little bit of fear in your eyes."

"Maybe a little," she admitted. "Some of the stories you told me……well, some of them were pretty horrific. I wondered how much of a mark they'd left on you." She suddenly started feeling uncomfortable with the conversation. She didn't want to think about the type of life or activity he was going to be going back to. She winced slightly and pulled herself free from his embrace.

Frank looked confused at first. Their conversation had been playful, and then suddenly she'd pulled away from him. Everything seemed to be fine until……. Until you reminded her of your assignment, you idiot! Frank closed his eyes and mentally kicked himself. In the past half hour they'd managed to heal the rift between them and then he'd gone and opened his stupid mouth.

"Laura….I'm so sorry. I didn't….." He never got a chance to finish the sentence before she interrupted him.

"I know, Frank…..I know. It's OK. I….I just don't want to think about that…..yet," she explained to him with a half-hearted smile on her face. She could still see the frown of concern on his face, so she approached him and kissed him gently on the cheek. "It really is OK. Why don't we get the kids and go out to breakfast. Then maybe we can go to the park for the day. How would that be?" she asked trying to change the subject.

Frank was more than thankful for her efforts. He'd screwed up royally, and she was still willing to forgive him. "That sounds good. And as for when I'm going to tell them…….well……I'd like to have today just for the four of us. No worries. No tears. Just us having a relaxing day together."

She smiled at him and said, "I think that's a wonderful idea. Of course, Christopher will want to know why he doesn't have to go to school for the rest of the week, but Alicia's too young to understand. Besides she's only in pre-school, so it's no big deal."

"We'll think of something to tell Christopher. I just want today, Laura….just today."

Tears started to sting the backs of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She knew how much this was tearing him apart and she wasn't going to let her tears add to the guilt that he was undoubtedly carrying around with him. "Well if we don't get this show on the road, the whole day will pass by us," she said, trying to sound upbeat and positive. "I'll get the kids going," she informed him as she made her way to the stairs.

"Laura."

She stopped on the first step and turned to him. "Yeah?"

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" he asked his voice thick with emotion.

The tears that she'd been able to stave off, were now back, although she tried her best to smile through them. "I love you too, Frank. Don't ever forget that," she added as she quickly made her way upstairs before she broke down completely.

Frank stared after her, almost as if moving would make her words untrue. Slowly he closed his eyes and willed himself to be strong. He didn't feel especially strong right now. In fact, he felt like he was coming apart at the seams. Never in his life, even when he'd endured unspeakable things all in the name of duty, had he ever felt this unsettled or lost. His family meant more to him than anything, and if their lives had not hung in the balance, he would have never in a million years ever considered going back to the CIA.

He turned finally, and looked out the window once more. The same car was parked in the same spot with the same man inside it. You bastards are not going to keep me from enjoying these last few days with my family! I have until Monday and I'll be damned if you're going to rob me of this! He pulled the curtain shut and stalked away from the window.

For the rest of the day, Frank, Laura and their children enjoyed the warmth, the sunshine and the joy of being together. After a breakfast out, they had indeed gone to a nearby park. They'd spent the day on jungle gyms, swings, sandboxes and slides. They walked, played, ran, and laughed. They'd even managed to feed a duck or two in a nearby lake. All in all, the day was restful, enjoyable and exactly what Frank needed.

When they finally headed home, the children were exhausted and quickly fell asleep in the car. Laura turned in her seat and watched them quietly. "They look like angels when they're asleep," she whispered quietly to Frank.

"So do you," he answered in the same hushed tones, as he turned to her and smiled.

She looked over at him and could see that he was being serious, in spite of the smile on his face. She reached over and took his right hand in hers and just stared back at him, her eyes telling him everything she couldn't find the words to say.

"Thank you for today," he added softly.

"Frank….."

"No….I mean it. I know this isn't easy on you. You have every right to be mad, hurt, angry……but instead, you've forgiven me and even let me have one more day with the kids before I tell them what's going to happen. Lesser women would have told me to go to hell and taken the kids and run, and frankly, I wouldn't have blamed them. But not you…….not you," the final words trailed off as he looked at the road in front of him.

Laura could see him struggling with the emotions deep inside him and held his hand a little tighter. Silently telling him that everything was going to be all right. One way or another, she was going to do everything in her power to make it that way. She glanced back at her sleeping children. She knew that they weren't going to receive this news well. Alicia wouldn't understand all of the implications. The only thing she would realize was that her daddy wouldn't be there every day. Christopher…..Christopher was going to be the hard one to tell. Although he was only 8 years old, he still understood quite a lot of what went on around him. Would he be able to accept his father's separation? Laura sighed and answered the question silently to herself. I don't think so.

After returning home, Frank and Laura got the kids settled comfortably into their beds. Both went willingly, without a fight or a whimper, and surprisingly without a bedtime story.

Standing in the doorway of Alicia's room, Laura leaned up against Frank and watched her baby sleep. "I can't believe she went to sleep that easily," she whispered.

"I know," he answered her. "When was the last time she ever went to sleep without at least a story or two……or five?"

Laura chuckled and shook her head, "I have no idea, but I think she was only six months old at the time."

Moving away from Alicia's room, they passed by Christopher's room and saw that he hadn't moved a muscle since Frank had tucked him in. Quietly closing their son's door, Frank and Laura made their way downstairs.

Once in the living room, Laura finally asked, "Have you thought about what you're going to say to them?"

Frank sighed heavily as he sat down on the couch. "I have no idea," he answered as he scrubbed a hand across his face. "How do you tell your children that you'll probably be gone for the whole summer, or maybe even longer?"

She sat next to him, her feet pulled up next her. "You'll think of something. Just tell them as much as you can. They don't need to know the details. You can just say that you have to go away for work and that you're not sure how long you'll be gone," she suggested, trying to be helpful.

Frank put his arm around her as she snuggled close to him. "Whatever I tell them, they're not going to be happy about it. That I know for sure." Sighing once again, he continued, "I promised them so many things, Laura. A vacation……helping out with little league……..swimming lessons. How can I explain this to them? Sorry, something more important came up?" he told her, his tone becoming irritated and sarcastic.

"Frank……"

"I know…..I know. I'll think of something," he said, sounding defeated. "I'll think of something," he barely whispered to himself, silently praying for lightening to strike him before he'd have to break his children's hearts just as he had Laura's.

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