Broken Promises

Chapter Eight

Frank stared blankly out the window with his chin resting in his hand, recalling the chain of events that led him to where he presently found himself.

After writing the notes for his two children and his wife, he'd slipped very quietly into his bedroom, just long enough to retrieve a change of clothes. He meant to get in and out as quickly as he could, hoping that he wouldn't wake Laura in the interim. But before he turned to leave, he couldn't help but look at her one more time. She'd fallen asleep at the end of the bed, leaving the bedside table lamp on. The soft light was enough for him to see her clearly. He knelt on the floor next to her and could clearly see the remains of her tears still present on her cheeks. He ached to reach out and wipe them away, but he stopped himself knowing that the action would more than likely cause her to awaken.

His eyes traveled down her neck, shoulders and arms. There he saw the result of his earlier actions and his heart actually hurt. The bruises were already darkening to a sickening purple black color, and knowing that he had been the cause of it……well, it was almost more than he could stand. For a few seconds, he considered waking her and the children and sneaking away someplace to start a new life, a life where the CIA could never reach him. But in the end, he realized that no such place existed, and to ask them to spend the rest of their lives on the run was unthinkable.

He reached out and placed his hand as close to hers as possible without really touching her and rested his head against the side of the bed. He needed to find the strength to do what he knew needed to be done, and for the past 12 years, Laura had been the source of that strength. Now, doing this without her, was killing him inside and he felt like a lesser man because of it.

As quietly as possible, he slowly rose from the floor and gazed on her once more. He then closed his eyes tightly as if committing the sight to memory and turned to leave the room. Once in the hallway, he quickly went about doing what needed to be done, fearing that if he hesitated much longer, he would give in and stay until Monday.

He dressed quickly, glanced around the house once more, making sure that he hadn't forgotten anything. He was bringing nothing with him, because he knew that wherever he was going, everything would be provided for him. He approached the front door and put his left hand on the door knob, and immediately froze in his tracks. His wedding ring…….he needed to leave it here, safely with his wife. Walking back toward the kitchen where he'd left the letter for her, he stared down at the shiny gold band around his finger. After he'd come so close to losing her just 18 months ago, Frank had sworn that he would never again take the ring off of his finger. Knowing that this was just one more promise that he was forced to break nearly killed him.

He slowly worked the band off of his finger and held it silently in the palm of his hand. He couldn't let it go, as if in doing so, he was letting go of his life with the woman that meant more to him than anything. You can do this! Just put the ring in the envelope and walk away! Taking a deep breath, he finally did just that. Steeling his courage, he turned quickly and headed for the front door and never looked back.

Once outside the house, he walked straight toward the black sedan still parked just two houses down. The driver seemed rather startled by his straight-forward approach. Without even hesitating, Frank walked around to the passenger side and got in.

"Take me to Marsh," he commanded of the other agent.

The blond man blinked once or twice and then quickly started up the engine. Within seconds, they were on there way.

Minutes ticked by and neither man said a word, that is until Frank realized that they weren't headed toward DC.

"Where are you taking me?" Frank asked with some anxiety in his voice.

"My orders are to take you to Culpeper Regional Airport. From there you'll be taking a private jet."

"I asked you to take me to see Marsh," he informed the agent none too nicely.

"I'm aware of that, and I'm telling you that I have my orders. To the best of my knowledge, Marsh will be awaiting you at your final destination."

Frank thought through what the other agent had just told him. When Marsh had talked to him on Monday, he'd told Frank to meet him in his office on the following Monday. Why would he already be at wherever they were going to eventually take him? Maybe because he anticipated what would happen to you? Frank frowned fiercely at what that implied. More than ever now, he was convinced that what had been happening to him had more than a little to do with the programming he'd received so many years ago. How did he trigger it? Hell….it could have been anything! A few simple words said in the correct order…. The thought sent a chill down his spine. All of this time, even after so many years, he was still at their mercy. And you always will be.

It was a little after 6 AM when they finally reached the small airport. The sedan pulled up next to a sleek Gulfstream G400 private jet. Frank frowned slightly as he looked at the aircraft. It was the type that could be used for long distance flying, so he immediately wondered where the hell he was going to end up in the next couple of hours.

As soon as the car parked and the two men exited the vehicle, a flurry of activity began around the plane. Final safety checks were under way, the blocks were taken away from under the wheels and 2 men exited the jet and approached Frank.

"Agent Donovan…..I'm Mike Reynolds," the one man stated, extending his hand in greeting, "and this is Paul Rudyard, he'll be attending you in the cabin. If there's anything you need, please feel free to ask."

"And what exactly is our destination this morning?" Frank asked more than a little curious.

"Miami, sir. We should be there in a couple of hours. Now, if you'll follow me, we'll be on our way."

Frank reluctantly followed the pilot on board. Once inside, he noticed that the interior of the private jet was well appointed…..leather seats…..mahogany tables polished to a brilliant shine. He wondered absently who the jet really belonged to or if it was rented for this occasion in particular. Without being instructed to, Frank found a comfortable seat and made himself comfortable.

Within minutes, the plane had begun to taxi and several minutes after that, they were airborne. No turning back now.

Now, hours after he'd left his house, Frank was staring sullenly out of the jet's small window, wondering if his wife and children would ever forgive him for what he'd done to them.

As he sat alone on the plane, only occasionally interrupted by the attendant asking if he wanted anything to eat or drink, Frank found his mind flooded with a myriad of memories from his past. The first time he'd been able to ride a two-wheel bicycle by himself…….high school and college graduations…….the day he'd been told that his father had died…….the birth of each of his children…..his wedding. But for some reason, he became fixated on remembering every single detail of the day that he'd asked Laura out on their first date.

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Almost three years to the day after finishing his therapy with Laura, Frank was about to work with her once again, although this time it would be in an entirely different setting.

This time they were both working for the FBI. He as a negotiator and she as a profiler. The situation involved a hostage situation in Kansas City. A group of inmates had broken out of a local prison and were holding some fifteen people hostage in a bank. Frank was not the original negotiator assigned to the case, but instead was brought in to replace someone who couldn't get the job done.

On his way to Kansas City, he'd been given a listing for the personnel that he would be working with and was more than a little surprised to see Laura's name listed as part of the team. Since finishing his therapy, he'd had no contact with her and wondered how it would be to work with her in this new situation. Knowing that there was little he could do about it at this point, he decided to make the best of it.

When he finally arrived on site, he was quickly introduced to the members present and was a little disappointed to see that she was not there at the moment. His reaction to her absence shocked him a bit. He thought he'd been feeling apprehensive about their meeting again and was a bit surprised to find that instead he'd been looking forward to it. But quickly the work took over and whatever feelings he had about being there were soon buried under intense negotiations.

Some six hours later, the members of the team were switching shifts and in walked Laura. Of course, he noticed her immediately but pretended that he didn't, not knowing how she would feel about seeing him again. When they finally did meet again, face to face, Frank was a little confused by her reaction. He'd tried to read her eyes but had a hard time discerning the different emotions that he saw flit across them in just mere seconds. She seemed more shocked than anything else, and he realized that part of the reason for that was due to the fact that he'd cut his hair. During the time that he was working undercover for the CIA, he'd worn his hair shoulder length or longer with a full beard. It was no wonder that she was taken aback by his appearance.

After a few awkward words of greetings, it was time to get down to work. And as it ended up, Frank and Laura needed to spend quite a bit of time together going over inmate profiles, etc. After the first few tense moments, the two fell into a good working rapport, and nothing was mentioned about the previous history that they'd shared.

The negotiations lasted for almost four days and the outcome was favorable. The hostages were released unharmed and all of the inmates were taken into custody with not even one shot fired. Frank and his team were lauded as heroes and the FBI brass couldn't have been more pleased.

After it was all said and done, there was still paperwork to be filled out and reports to be written and once again Frank and Laura were thrown together to rehash what had happened during the four day stand-off.

Once the pressure of the case was off, Frank began to notice things that he hadn't initially. Thing like, the smell of the perfume she wore, the way her hair fell in her face when she was intently reading, the way she would absently play with the necklace she wore when she was deep in thought. It distracted, bothered and drew him in all at the same time.

He knew that he was attracted to her, and had been since the first time that he saw her three years ago, but the timing had been all wrong then and probably still was now. His job meant that he could be called to take off at a moment's notice and that he could be gone for sometimes weeks at a time. His lifestyle made any sort of relationship impossible, but there was something about this woman that made him want to reconsider that.

Late one night when they were still wrapping up the odds and ends of the case, Frank and Laura were the only two left in the building that served as a make-shift command center. They were intently going over report after report trying to put the finishing touches on what would eventually go into the files in DC. One of their reports was a compilation of the profiles that had been used in the negotiation. The two ended up sitting very close together, looking at the report that Laura was preparing on her laptop. The discussion was intense and clear headway was being made until Frank referred to something on the screen, leaning in and pointing to what he was talking about. In that second she had turned her head to look at him more clearly. Something happened then. Time seemed to stand still and the two just stared intently into each other's eyes. A palpable electricity could be felt in the air and the temperature rose a couple of degrees. Neither moved or said anything for several seconds, until the moment was broken by a ringing cell phone. After a few more heartbeats, Frank finally moved away to answer the call. When he was finished, the moment was over and Laura was back to intently finishing the report.

Frank considered saying something to her then, but something in her demeanor had changed radically. She wouldn't meet his gaze for more than a second or two and she seemed to be in a rush to get away from him. Knowing that it was probably for the best, he let it and her go.

On the last day, after everything had been packed up, the team members were all headed out, loading up cars and on their way to their respective destinations. Frank watched out of the corner of his eye as Laura unceremoniously dumped her belongings in the backseat of her rental before she said goodbye to her teammates, and soon they were the only two left in the parking lot. As he watched her, Frank was waging a war inside of himself as to whether to approach her before she exited his life once more. Finally, without knowing what he was going to say or do, he decided to go for it.

She had just opened her driver's door when he walked up to her. "So….I guess this is it," he said a little nervously.

Laura spun around, caught off guard by his approach. "Um…..yeah, I guess it is. It's….uh….it's been a pleasure working with you again, Frank."

He smiled at her, noticing that she seemed to be as on edge as he was. Was she remembering what had happened three years ago or what had happened between them just the other night? He was silently hoping it was the latter. "Where are you off to now?" he asked, making idle chit chat.

"I actually haven't received a new assignment yet, so I guess I'll just be heading back to Virginia for awhile. You?"

"Not sure yet, but then, I usually don't get more than 24 hours notice before being assigned to a new case."

She nodded. "That makes sense," she replied while she fidgeted a bit. "Well, I guess I may see you from time to time. Who knows, huh? We may be assigned to the same case again."

He more or less ignored her last statements. While she had been fidgeting, she'd pulled out that same necklace and was playing with it again. Something in her movements, the shy way she was talking with him, the way she looked at him through her eyelashes with her head slightly tilted down, all made him want to suddenly take her in his arms and kiss her senseless.

She noticed the change in his eyes and wondered what was going through his head at that moment. She didn't have to wait long to find out. He reached out and stopped the hand that was playing with the necklace and captured it in his own. Drawing closer to her, effecting pinning her between the open car door and the frame of the car, he opened his hand and looked at the pendant that had been dangling from the fine rope chain. It was a locket, no more than an inch long, made of gold and intricately engraved.

"What is this?" he asked her in a decidedly intimate tone.

She swallowed hard, flustered by his closeness and his sudden interest in something that she valued more than any other piece of jewelry she owned. "It's….ah….a locket. Well I guess you knew that," she added nervously. "There are pictures of my grandparents in there. It belonged to my grandmother and it was given to me when she died nearly twelve years ago."

"It's beautiful," he told her, his eyes meeting hers just as they had before. He let go of her hand then and reached out to lightly skim his fingers across the contour of her cheek. He noticed how her breathing seemed to have increased dramatically, and was silently pleased. "Have dinner with me," he commanded more than asked.

She stared into his eyes and could clearly see that he wanted more than just to share a meal with her. She could feel her pulse increase in response knowing that it was something she had dreamt about for nearly three years now. She hesitated, though. Was she clearly thinking this through? Would getting involved with this man be prudent? After all, their jobs would make any sort of relationship nearly impossible. Nearly……but not totally. Somehow, not even giving it a try seemed like an incredibly bad decision.

She knew that she'd hesitated far too long and saw the disappointment in his eyes as he began to slowly move away from her. "What kind of food do you like?" she asked him suddenly.

His eyes lit up then and a slow smile warmed his face. "Anything…..anything you want is fine with me," he answered, his words tinged with a promise of something more.

She smiled back at him, now eagerly anticipating what she could only hope would be a promising evening. "Let me take these things back to the hotel, and then I'm all yours."

His smile took on a decidedly mischievous appearance and he moved closer to her yet again. He'd been content to let the events of the evening take their own course, but her words stirred something inside him and he couldn't just let it go. "Now that certainly sounds promising," he nearly purred at her.

Her eyes flew open when she realized what she'd said. "I just meant that….."

"I know what you meant," he reassured her. "But a man can fantasize, can't he?" And before she could answer, he did something he'd wanted to do for three years. He kissed her……slowly, tenderly and yet tinged with a promise of things to come. Although it didn't last very long, they were both changed profoundly by that one simple kiss. A line had been crossed. No longer doctor and patient. No longer co-workers or even simply friends. They would be lovers and maybe…….just maybe so much more.

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Frank sighed sadly and continued to stare out the window of the jet. He knew that it wouldn't be long before they landed in Miami and dreaded whatever was to come. Why he'd fixated on that particular memory he didn't know, but he swore for just a second that he could still fell her soft lips pressed to his. He glanced at his watch briefly and wondered if she'd found his note yet. She'd be devastated, he knew that. But he would rather have hurt her this way than to risk hurting her or the children physically, just as he had last night.

His reverie was interrupted by the attendant once more. "Agent Donovan. We'll be landing in about 45 minutes. I've been instructed to tell you that if you have anyone you wish to contact, to do so now. Once on the ground, you'll be restricted from any sort of outside communication." Motioning to the phone built into the table nearby, the man continued. "Please feel free to call whoever you wish."

Frank nodded in understanding and stared at the phone. Who should he call? The urge was overwhelming to hear Laura's voice once more. He moved closer to the table and picked up the phone, staring intently at the dial. Should he? He'd left letters for Laura and the children. He'd spoken briefly to his mother the previous evening. Was there anyone else to contact?

He almost replaced the phone in it's cradle, but suddenly pulled it back and began to dial. He needed to talk to her……maybe to try to explain yet again why he needed to leave as he had.

He listened to the phone ringing on the other end and wondered for a few seconds if she'd taken the children and left. Just as he was about to hang up, she finally answered.

He listened to the sound of her voice and knew instantly why it had taken so long for her to answer. She'd been crying, in fact she still was. He could hear it in her voice, and he felt a part of himself die. He opened his mouth to speak but no words would form. He listened to her for a few seconds more and then finally hung up.

He'd broken her heart just as he knew he would, but somehow actually hearing it in her voice felt like a knife had just been thrust through his heart. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to contain the emotion that threatened to engulf him. In less than 45 minutes, he would be forced to put Laura, the children and anything else good in his life behind him. Perhaps this was the punishment he deserved for all of the sins that he'd committed in his life. He'd been granted a reprieve to live in heaven for a short time, but now…..now he was about to re-enter hell.

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