Disclaimer : I don't have any right to Gilmore Girls, if I did, do you really think I would have kept Dean that long on the show? Or have him back? Seriously…..




Author's Note: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews I received. And a big thanks to Jayde, who is my beta and slave driver.




To Remember You
Chapter 5: Rory & Tristan: The heartbreaking years.




Lorelai is watching Rory dance in her new husbands' arms. With tears threatening to fall as she watches the happiness radiating from the couple. If she said that she isn't happy for them would be a lie, because she is ecstatic to know that Rory is happy. She just knows that a chapter in both of their life is over, that whatever happens now, nothing would ever be the same. Her thoughts are interrupted by Rory's arms around her, Lorelai sees happiness in her daughter's eyes and forces her face into a smile. Trying to contain her emotion, Rory tells her mother, "I don't think it is possible for anyone in the entire world to be this happy."

Still smiling, salty tears falls down Lorelai's cheeks, "That's all I ever wanted you to be, happy."

"But why are you crying mom?"

"It's just that you're all grown up and, I kind of lost you today."

"You'll never lose me mom, I'll always be your little girl."




Dancing to a slow song in Tristan's arms, Rory feels content. Raising her eyes to look into Tristan's, she blanches at the sight offered near the entrance of the room. Worried, Tristan asks softly, "What's wrong?"

Still looking at the strange sight, Rory searches for words to accurately say what she's feeling, "It's just… I… I'm… How can…"

Not understanding a word that she's trying to say, Tristan turns to look at what's been bothering her. A radiant smile appears on his features as he says, "Come on, I'll introduce you to them."

"What is SHE doing here?"

Guiding Rory toward the entrance, "SHE is dating my cousin."

As they approaches, Brooke sees them and exclaims brightly, "Congratulations, cousin, and cousin's wife."

Rory mutters a small 'thank you' as Tristan makes the introduction, "Rory, I want you to meet my cousin, Lucas Scott. He's dating Brooke, but they broke up for a couple of years and at that party she had mistaken me for Lucas."

Rory blushes at the memory, not really knowing how to explain the outburst that she had had. Seeing that she might still be in the middle of a conflict, Brooke takes hold of Rory's arm, "Now, we are almost cousins, why don't we go have a drink and chat while the twin cousins here catch up a little?"


Entering Rory's room, Lorelai watches Rory sleeping, lines of worry marring her face as she thinks of everything that her beloved daughter will have to relive. Sitting down beside Rory, she shakes her little trying to wake her up. Opening her eyes, Rory smiles brightly at her mother. "How are you this morning Rory?"

"In love. Married. Anxious."

Pushing Rory on the side to lie down beside her, Lorelai looks at the wall, "Why are you anxious?"

"It's more scared actually. You see, two days ago, I didn't know that Tristan existed, and now I'm married to him. I even forgot that Brooke became my friend after the wedding and somehow, everything I feel now is in love with Tristan; I want to share everything with him. But I'm scared of what happened that I don't remember, I don't want to remember anymore. I don't want to forget about all this love and life again but I want the memories to stop coming back."

"Whatever happens Rory, remember this love, this morning how in love you feel. Hold on to this feeling."

Rory gets up and takes her suitcase from under her bed, while starting to place clothes inside, she whispers, "I'll try to remember. I'm leaving, mom."

Sitting up on the bed, Lorelai is worried, "Leaving to go where?"

"I want to go home. I want to go home to my husband but, I'm afraid of what I'll find there."

Lorelai stands up to hold Rory tightly, emotions running high inside her, "Remember the love, Rory and I'm always only a phone call away."




"I want this house Tristan."

Holding Rory's hand in his as they explore the old home, Tristan asks, "Don't you want something a little more…modern?"

Shaking her head 'no', Rory whispers "Look at the chandelier there, the stone fireplace, the ancient mirror, this place holds so many charms that I'm falling in love with it."

"Should I be jealous?"

"No, I'm only in love with it because we will live in it together…"

"…and there's plenty of room to raise lots of children."


Standing in front of Rory, Tristan asks, "Are you sure you're ready to come back?"

Pain flickers inside Rory's eyes, "Don't you want me home?"

Sadness wells inside his oceanic blue eyes; Tristan embraces her, speaking into her hair, "Only if you promise not to leave me again."




Falling asleep on the couch, Rory snuggles close to Tristan as he continues watching the movie. Closing his eyes, Tristan also falls asleep, content.




Washing the dishes, Rory wonders when it is that Tristan stopped drying them. Instead, he opened the fridges door to take a beer. Sighing, Rory tries to remember when the last time Tristan didn't drink for two nights in a row. Looking at the clock, Rory decides to relax in a bath while reading a book.

Tristan enters the bathroom, a little too drunk for Rory's taste. "Let's go out Rory. Let's go play pool and dance."

"Tristan, I just want to relax, I don't want to go out, I've had a rough day."

Sitting beside the tub, Tristan plays softly with Rory's wet hair, "But it's boring without you. Come with me."

"Why don't you stay with me tonight instead? We could watch a movie."

"I'm thirsty Rory."

"Have a glass of water then."

"I don't want water, I want another beer. Come with me, just one then we come back."

"It's never only one more, we're always staying 'till closing time and frankly, the following morning I'm always to tired to work properly."

"Fine, I'll go alone." Standing up, Tristan exits the bathroom slamming the door. Two tears appear in Rory's eyes as she watches the closed door.


Running up the stairs, Rory holds her tears in, ten minutes in the house and she wants to run away screaming, knowing that the worst is yet to come. Turning on the hot water, she splashes water on her face, hoping to forget these memories.




Letting the tears fall freely as she watches the stick turn pink, she hopes that Tristan would finally come home. After a huge fight they had a week ago, he left saying that he needed a break. He forgot to call, he forgot Valentine's Day and then, she suspected that she's pregnant. Going to bed without eating anything, she falls into a restless sleep.




Waking up at midnight, she puts on a jacket and walks down the street in the direction of the little bar Tristan always ends his nights at. Looking through the windows, she sees Tristan with an arm around a blond girl, laughing with other men as the girl licks his neck. Fighting the urge to either run away or throw up, she enters the bar, unaware of her tears soaking face. She walks up to Tristan and without any warning, slaps him once, and then twice until Tristan takes hold of her hands.

"Calm down Rory, you're making a spectacle of yourself."

"I was the one waiting for you to come home for a whole week, feeling sorry about what I said, for not being more understanding, for not trying to help you more. And all this time you were with another girl, I thought you would calm down and we would talk about it like we always do."

Tristan tries to free himself from his Barbie toy when Barbie asks, "Why do you care about what she thinks, you can have anyone you want. Just tell her it's over and that you have found someone better."

Turning to leave, Rory changes her mind as she faces Tristan, "I want a divorce. And just to inform you, the child I'm carrying will be mine, and mine alone."

Before she can take a step, Tristan screams, "I won't let you divorce me! I don't even know her, she came on to me, and nothing happened, I swear."

"If nothing happened, then why did you let her kiss your neck?"


Leaving the bathroom, Rory enters their room, lying down on the bed; she lets the tears escape and falls asleep.




Rory wakes up in the morning, alone in bed again, but something's different. Scanning the room, she sees Tristan standing in from of the window. Without turning around, Tristan whispers, "Can I try to explain?"

Without moving, Rory slightly shifts to face his back, "I'm not sure if there's anything to explain."

Finally facing her, Tristan looks at her with bloodshot eyes. "I love you."

"You haven't had a lot of talent to make me feel loved lately."

Sitting beside her, Tristan asks, "Will you give me another chance?"

"For what, Tristan? To hurt me even more? I don't think I have the strength to keep doubting you."

"Then let me explain."

"…Only if you tell me the truth."

"Okay."

"Where were you last week?"

"Alone, in a motel. I needed to focus."

"On what?"

"I wanted to know if I still wanted to be with you."

Rory turns around to lie on her stomach, avoiding facing him and showing him how much he just broke her. "Well, you can pack and leave, or I will."

"I don't want you to leave; I want to be with you. I've realised this last week that we grew apart, with our jobs and with…"

"… Your drinking…"

"… and it's not the same anymore, there's always something important to do…"

"… Before spending time together. We're always…"

Tristan starts to slowly rub Rory's back, "… too busy to talk or do anything together anymore."

Still not facing him, "And what about that girl last night?"

"I wanted to assure myself that I was still in love with you."

"By cheating on me?"

Forcing Rory to turn around and look at him, he whispers, "By resisting her."


Rory wakes up in the dark, scanning the room with her eyes; she sees Tristan standing in front of the window, eerily similar to the memory. Without turning around he whispers, "I need you Rory. After you left I almost drowned myself in the bottle. It's over forever."

Rory looks at Tristan, concerned, quietly she asks, "I just remembered that I was pregnant. What happened after that? Tell me everything right now Tristan, and tell me the truth."

"You accepted to give me a second chance, as your belly grew, our love flourished even more. I stopped drinking completely. You were radiant while pregnant and I was even more in love with you…"

As she listens to Tristan words, the memories come back, cutting him to speak, "… and we enjoyed doing the groceries again. There was this multicolour dress I had bought for the summer…"

"… Then there was the ultrasound that revealed that the baby was perfectly healthy…"

"… and that we would name her Victoria…"

"… For victory over the shadows that had surrounded our lives…"

"… and then I went in labour and while they gave me something to relax, the nurse had to go help you because you were puking your guts out."

"I couldn't stand to see you suffer."

Suddenly, Rory gets up and runs where the nursery was, followed closely by Tristan. Everything is still in the right place, even the little dress she wanted to dress her in the morning.

Rory turns around; fighting the screams she wants to let out. "Tristan, please tell me that it was all a dream."

Seeing the tears in his eyes, a single tear falls before she loses consciousness in his arms.




Author's Note: Okay, if you agree with my BETA that I'm evil for ending it like that, don't worry, another chapter is under the process of beeing written. Drop a note, did you cry? laugh? fell asleep?
Siaram