This one is a bit longer than usual (5 pages). As always, I really enjoyed writing it, and it nearly wrote itself! There's a lot more dialogue in this chapter than the previous, so that means more plot progression. I have no idea how long this fic is gonna end up being...it's not close to being over yet, though. There's so much I still want to incorporate into it, and the more of it I write, the more ideas come to me. 9_9 Reviews:
digitalized - It's not switching, but it's taking a small detour. I plan to incorporate elements of both pairings into future chapters. ^^ I'm glad you like it so much!
Kara Angitia - He's fine, don't worry! *gives you a paper bag to breath into* ^^;;
Nikki - Thanks for the background info, Nikki! ^_^ I appreciate it.
LinaLau - Well, you know my DA account now, but for those who don't: Narissah. Yeah, I'm inconsistent in what I call myself. Sue me. ^.~ Or not!
Gohma - *falls over and dies in shock* WOW. That is the best compliment I've ever received on my writing. I'm blushing, seriously! Thank you so much!
Konnie-chan - ^^ I'm glad it seems to just keep getting better. I hope I can keep that up...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hisoka shivered, noticing as he awakened that he had a horrid headache. He was aware of a thick blanket atop him, and dimly, the presence of other Shinigami in the room.
"...'Soka? Are you okay? How do you feel?" Tsuzuki's voice reached his ears first, followed by a lighter voice...
"Tsuzuki, you've got to move so I can check on him!"
There was a rustling of fabric and the sound of a chair being dragged away from the...bed he was in. He wasn't sure if it actually was a bed. Maybe a couch. Or even the floor still. Hisoka's mind alerted him to the fact that the second voice belonged to Watari, as did the pair of slender hands that were currently lilting over his chest and forehead. The boy gave the mental command for his arms to move, to bat his comrade away, but his body failed to respond immediately.
"He seems okay...fever's down, although he's still too cold," he heard Watari murmuring. To Hisoka's surprise, no emotions bombarded his senses. His mind was blissfully blank, and he was grateful for the unusual reprieve.
"Is he awake?" he heard Tsuzuki ask softly. How odd...there weren't any emotions from him, either.
"I can't tell...I think he's halfway there. You should go now, Tsuzuki. Get some paperwork done. Or just...have an extended lunch break. I'm sure Tatsumi wouldn't mind...?"
There was a pause, a moment of silence before a third voice spoke.
"Come, Tsuzuki-san. You can pick up something for Konoe-san while you're out," Tatsumi said in his usual terse voice. Hisoka thought he almost heard a hint of caring mixed in, however. But there were no emotions. After several minutes of relishing in this fact, the lack of constant static began to make the boy extremely uncomfortable. It was...eerie. He heard the door close softly, followed by the scratching noise of a pen marking paper.
"How do you feel, Bon?"
Hisoka paused, attempting to gauge whether he was lucid enough to respond.
"H...head hurts. What...?"
He managed to open his eyes slightly, a blurred image of the blonde scientist entering his field of vision.
"You passed out in the office. Do you know why?" he was asked.
Hisoka started to shake his head, but stopped the action abruptly when pain shot through him.
"Tsuzuki...so upset, I couldn't-"
Watari reached out to him, resting a hand on his shoulder gently. But no emotions, still.
"Just checking. What are you feeling right now?"
The boy blinked in confusion. Hadn't he just been asked that question, more or less?
"I don't...wait. Why aren't there any emotions?"
Watari smiled gently, perching himself on the edge of the clinic bed.
"I gave you an inhibitor to temporarily block most of your empathy. It should help while you gather your strength. That really took a lot out of you."
"What happened?" the youth asked, staring at the older man intensely.
Watari sighed, tapping his foot on the tile absently.
"Tsuzuki and I had a talk...about you. Don't ask me for details, because they're not mine to divulge. I guess he decided, based on what we discussed, that he needed to, well...lower his shielding some. I don't really know how much, but apparently enough that you went into shock over it."
"Shock?" Hisoka whispered.
The scientist nodded.
"Sorry Bon, it's kinda my fault, since he came to me for advice. I think he just wanted to open up to you a little more, maybe so you'd stop getting so angry with him all the time... I know he didn't mean for this to happen." The blonde sighed wearily.
"I actually had to give you that inhibitor because Tsuzuki's reaction to your passing out was only causing your condition to worsen. It should wear off in...three hours," he explained, glancing up at the white clock on the wall.
"Three hours..." the boy whispered to himself, staring at the clock blankly. Watari bit his lip, uncomfortable with the tension in the air. He patted Hisoka's pillow lightly.
"Hey Bon, listen...don't be upset with Tsuzuki. He just-"
"Why?" Hisoka interrupted. "Why does he always think I'm so upset with him?"
Watari sweatdropped, lowering his head and shaking it slightly in frustration.
"You care about Tsuzuki, don't you?"
Hisoka's eyes widened and he looked away with an angry expression. Watari rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"Bon! Do you care about him or not? This is important!"
The boy's eyes snapped fully open in surprise and an odd sense of intimidation.
"Yes..."
Watari nodded, continuing.
"Well, you may know that, I may know that, Tatsumi may know that, but Tsuzuki only sees what's on the surface. He has such a low opinion of himself already that he can't see past your yelling at him and insulting him. Every time you degrade him, he truly believes that you mean it like it sounds superficially. Sometimes, he actually thinks you hate him, Bon. I can see it in his eyes. I know this sounds very unfair to you, but hear me out. Tsuzuki loves you...a lot, whether you can accept or even believe it. You treat him like crap, even though you care. I know you think you're protecting him, but it's killing him inside. Bon, he needs to know that you care. Your opinion matters to him more than anyone's ever has or ever will. He...he worships the ground you walk. I don't mean to sound intimidating, but it's something you need to think about. Just...think about it, Bon. Now would be a good time to talk to Tsuzuki, while your empathy is still dampened."
The scientist smiled softly, running his hand over the boy's soft hair despite the knowledge of how uncomfortable it made Hisoka. 'Maybe with his empathy dampened, he won't mind as much.' He stood, casting a fond glance down at his comrade and friend.
"Good luck, Bon. I know it's hard, but you're a strong kid. Just remember what I told you, okay?"
He waited until the boy nodded, then left.
***********
"I'm sure he forgives you," Tatsumi said for the nth time, eyeing Tsuzuki warily. The violet-eyed Shinigami had been moping ever since Hisoka passed out. Tatsumi didn't need to be an empath to feel the guilt emanating off the man. It was an ironic situation, really, one that normally the Kagetsukai would chuckle at. However, he had a hunch that laughing at that moment would only get him in trouble, so he refrained. He glanced at the infirmary door, silently urging Watari to get done with Hisoka and take Tsuzuki off of his hands. It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with his co-worker, but the self-pity was getting old. It was as if, since he had starting spending time with Watari, he could step back and view Tsuzuki more objectively. The guilt-ridden man had initially agreed to go out and get food, but had changed his mind. The two sat at Tsuzuki's desk silently.
"Tatsumi?"
The secretary looked over, eyebrow raised.
"Umm...how is, er...how's it going with Watari?"
The blue-eyed man smiled slightly, relieved that his friend was distracting himself.
"Quite well."
Tsuzuki nodded. He remained silent for a moment, then grinned slyly.
"So has he spent the night yet?"
Tatsumi turned incredulous eyes to the other man.
"Tsuzuki-san. If you value your paycheck..."
The younger man's eyes widened and he nodded his head quickly.
"Sorry! Sorry."
The Kagetsukai smiled in amusement and was about to speak when the infirmary door opened. Watari walked out quietly, casting the two men a weak smile.
"Tsuzuki...I think Hisoka might want to talk to you. He's not angry at you, don't worry. You should go see him now."
The violet-eyed man stood, walking apprehensively into the infirmary. Watari went directly to Tatsumi, leaning on his shoulder. The older man's arms went around his slender frame.
"Is he alright?" he asked, genuinely concerned.
Watari nodded against his shoulder, snuggling closer.
"Yeah...I talked to him about how he treats Tsuzuki... I think he needed the tough love. Hopefully, I got through to him, because if I didn't and I just sent Tsuzuki in there..."
Tatsumi shook his head.
"Kurosaki-kun is a very bright young man. I'm sure your message got through to him. I wouldn't worry about it. It's in his hands now."
The scientist sighed, closing his eyes.
"Seii...? Can I get off work early today? I'm really tired..."
Normally, Tatsumi would refuse and give a reprimand to the younger man. That day, however, he could see how genuinely exhausted his love was. 'It's bad for productivity,' he rationalized.
"Sure, Yutaka. I don't see why not."
The blonde smiled up at him gratefully, kissing his cheek with affection.
"Thanks, Seii. You, uh...wanna come with me?"
The Kagetsukai actually considered the offer for a moment, but his frugal nature won out.
"I can't. I need to stay here and monitor the situation. If I leave, no one will get any work done around here."
Watari nodded, disappointed but understanding his boyfriend's logic. He hugged Tatsumi again and left, leaving the secretary to his second love in life - work.
*********
Tsuzuki entered the infirmary hesitantly, not wanting to disturb Hisoka. His heart pounded in his chest as he spotted the boy, his small frame propped up by pillows. Although he had seen his partner only fifteen minutes earlier, Tsuzuki was shocked by how pale the boy looked.
"Hisoka...?"
Green eyes looked up, an unreadable expression in them. He motioned for Tsuzuki to sit on the bed beside him. The older man stared at the spot for a moment, finally forcing his legs to move. He sat on the bed, his hands clasped together tightly.
"Tsuzuki...look at me."
He did as he was told, though meekly.
"I wanted to apologize for worrying you..."
Violet eyes widened incredulously.
"What?! 'Soka, what are you talking about? I'm the one who needs to apologize! I hurt you!"
Hisoka shook his head vehemently.
"That's not true. I hurt myself. I hurt myself by making you feel like you had to hide from me."
Tsuzuki stared at his partner. Hisoka was unnerved by the lack of empathic connection.
"Let me finish, Tsuzuki. I...I don't hate you. I don't even dislike you. And...I really don't want you to think that. I just...I want you to know that I'm sorry."
The older man continued staring, unable to form any coherent words. His mind was torn between elation at his partner's words and worry over why the boy felt it necessary to say them at all. Tsuzuki didn't blame Hisoka in the least. He knew it was his own fault for not being clearer about his pain. It touched him, though, that the boy was willing to take the blame upon himself.
"Hisoka..." He shook his head to clear it. "You don't have to apologize to me. You never have to. I appreciate the sentiment, but I know."
"You know?"
Tsuzuki nodded.
"Yeah. I just worry about you, 'Soka. I'm always causing trouble for you."
Hisoka sighed.
"Tsuzuki, I cause as much trouble as you do. I just want you to know...that uh...I'mhereifyouneedme."
Tsuzuki smiled as the words sorted themselves out and sunk in.
"Aww, 'Soka. I love you, too."
He leaned over, wrapping his arms around the boy. The body beneath him tensed, but Hisoka's arms eventually gripped Tsuzuki's in response. 'He's so warm...' the older Shinigami mused, reveling in their shared body heat.
Meanwhile, Hisoka's own thoughts followed a similar line. 'Baka...still caring so much about me...why do you care so much? Why do I care? I wish I could feel what he's feeling right now...I want to know how he feels so badly. It shouldn't matter so much to me. I'm thinking like he acts! But...this feels nice. I...I almost don't want him to let go.'
Hisoka felt his cheeks get hot, but when his eyes burned and blurred over with moisture, he pushed the other man away sharply.
"Hisoka?"
He curled his knees to his chest, locking his arms around them.
"Go away!" he growled.
Tsuzuki watched him for a moment, a look of concern on his face.
"No."
Hisoka peeked up in angry surprise.
"What?"
"I said no, Hisoka. I'm not going anywhere."
With those words, Tsuzuki put his arms around the boy's center, ignoring his shouts of protest. After all, the elder Shinigami knew he didn't mean it.