L-chan's notes: I'm still trying to resuscitate my creativity for this story, and I will finish it, but I make no promises on when the next update will be. Just know that it will eventually be updated again. Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: See Chapter 8.
Take My Advice
Chapter 9—Who Helps Hope?
Finally, Meiling thought as she headed for her locker. Why does time move more slowly at school than anywhere else? But if the world were ending, I guess I'd want to be at school when it happened, because each remaining second would feel like an eternity.
Another school week was over with, and not a moment too soon. She'd been incredibly busy, but was determined to do her best and get everything done. She even found time to squeeze in a little fun between homework and her responsibilities for the newspaper. The soccer article was written with enough excitement and energy in her words to make those who had missed Saito's big win wish that they'd seen the game. She answered every single letter written to Hope, all fifteen of them, and emailed them to Tomori for him to choose the best ones for the column. And her column was again well-received, at least as far as she could tell from listening to the girls discussing it during recess. She'd tried to feel proud of the work she'd done, but she was definitely in low spirits.
If anyone had noticed that Meiling was not her usual outgoing, boisterous self, they didn't say anything. She kept quiet most of the day, just not feeling in the mood to joke around as she usually would. She'd convinced herself that she was just exhausted, but there was more to it than that. The real reason for her reticence was tucked away in the back of her mind where she wouldn't have to think about it.
She opened her locker, expecting to find another manila envelope containing Hope's letters, but there was just a single white envelope resting on top of her books. It had her name written on it instead of Hope's, so she went ahead and pulled the letter out of the envelope, in case it was important. Actually, important or not, her curiosity simply got the better of her. Maybe it was a party invitation, or even a love letter from a secret admirer. Well, a girl can dream, right?
Her mouth dropped open as she read the message. And then she read it again, just to be sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her.
"Dear Hope,
Yes, I've figured you out, Meiling-san. But don't worry; I won't tell anyone your little secret. I think we should have a talk. Don't you? I'll be waiting for you at the park, by the swings. I know how you like the swings.
With love from,
Your Favorite Ancestor"
What? How? She couldn't seem to form a thought of more than one word. Why?
If she ignored the letter, then maybe he'd think he was wrong. No one was supposed to know who she was, after all. But if he knows, then who else does? Surely someone would have said something if she'd been found out. No, he was the only one, and he had a reason for letting her know that he knew.
So, what does he want? He couldn't need advice. He already knew everything, or so he liked to boast. And he probably wouldn't seek her help anyway. Maybe he was going to tell her to give up writing for the paper, that she didn't have any talent for helping people, or for writing, for that matter. Or maybe, he did want something from her, something unspeakable, and was going to blackmail her. Okay, that's it. I've officially seen too many bad movies.
Meiling shoved the letter into her bag and decided to head home. It was only when she was halfway to the park that she realized where she was going.
Eriol was waiting for her, just as he'd said he would be. He was sitting on one of the swings with his eyes closed, as if he were deep in thought. A mysterious little half-smile appeared on his lips as he sensed her approach. "It's nice to see you, Meiling-san," he joked. Then he looked up at her with those knowing blue eyes, and she wondered if it had been wise to show up after all.
"You see me all the time," she responded, a little defensive. She pulled his note out of her bag and waved it carelessly. "But is there a specific reason that it's nice to see me now?"
"That's a very good question," he replied, still with that enigmatic gaze. "Please have a seat." He gestured to the swing next to him, and after squinting at him suspiciously, she sat. He let her sit there for a few moments, and she fidgeted a bit as the silence got to her. He tried not to grin. She wasn't going to say anything until he revealed his reason for asking her to come. Smart girl. Magic or no, she's definitely got Clow Reed's blood in her, he thought proudly. "I read Hope's column today."
"Lots of people did."
Now he did grin. He liked her spunk. "Of course. It's quite the popular feature. But, you know, I was really impressed by your answer to this boy confused about his sudden interest in someone other than his girlfriend."
She looked at him askance before twisting in her swing. If he was going somewhere with this, his point eluded her. I know he didn't write that letter. So what's he getting at?
"Do you need me to refresh your memory?" he asked with a trace of teasing in his tone, but before she could answer, he began reading aloud from the newspaper in his hand.
"Dear Confused,
Imagine for a second that this other girl doesn't exist. Would you still want to be with your girlfriend? Maybe things haven't been very exciting lately, and that's why your attention is wandering. Or maybe the two of you have a problem you're avoiding, and you're looking for an excuse not to deal with it.
Now, imagine that your girlfriend doesn't exist. Would you still be interested in this other girl? Is she someone you could have a real relationship with, or is it just a little crush? Do you think she would return your feelings?
Please think about this before you go making any drastic decisions. I don't know if all of you will be able to stay friends after this, but I hope things turn out for the best."
Eriol grinned again as he set the paper down. "That's some very wise advice you gave. I don't imagine that there's a problem you can't solve."
Meiling shrugged modestly as she looked down at her shoes. How was it that she had an answer to everyone's problems but her own? Hope was everyone's confidante, but Hope had no one to go to. Except, maybe.... She couldn't believe she was even considering such a thing. There was no way she could tell Eriol about her feelings for Syaoran. He'd either think it was incredibly funny, or he'd tell her not to be so stupid and to get over it, because Syaoran and Sakura belonged together. They were, after all, the perfect couple. That's what everyone had said about them since the sixth grade. How am I supposed to compete with perfection?
Eriol watched for some sort of reaction from Meiling. He knew the meaning of that particular letter, and wanted to see if she understood it, too. She seemed uncomfortable, her feet slowly dragging across the dirt as she twisted sideways in the swing, lost in thought. He'd never known her to be so silent before. Everything he'd suspected for the past several weeks must be true. Either that, or he was way, way off. And if that was the case, then he had bigger problems than concerning himself with the love lives of his adorable descendants. Only one way to find out. "Well, I just wanted to say keep up the good work. I'll see you later."
"Wait," Meiling said when he stood up. Eriol promptly sat back down on his swing and waited for her to continue. "How did you know it was me?" That wasn't what she meant to ask, but it sounded better than anything else she was thinking. And it kept him here while she tried to figure out if she wanted to say more.
He should have expected that. "You have a very distinct... writing style," he improvised, not letting on that he'd also drawn on his more unusual talents to suss her out. "Besides, your answers just sounded like you—straightforward, intelligent, and sincere. You're a very bright and thoughtful girl, and I know you're helping people." He'd slipped into his serious voice again, the persona that made her feel like she really was speaking to her wise ancestor and not her annoyingly smug friend.
"Maybe," she said softly. But I'll never know, will I? I'll never know who wrote those letters and whether anything I said helped them or not.
It's like pulling teeth with these two, Eriol thought. Do they even know how alike they are? He had to maneuver this conversation back around to the point he'd wanted to make. "I'm sure Li-kun would be proud of you as well. If he knew, that is."
"Maybe," she said again. What would Syaoran think if he knew she was behind the column? Dummy. He probably wouldn't even care. He's not the type to read an advice column for people with relationship problems. He'd say "That's nice, Meiling," and that would pretty much be the end of it.
Eriol sat silently and watched as his seemingly innocuous comments sunk in.
When Meiling raised her eyes to his, she didn't see him. Not as Eriol, anyway. He was more than his appearance let on, and it was easy to forget that. If she needed advice from someone older and more experienced in the ways of the world, then she could do much worse than her ancestor's current incarnation. "Did you know...." she began hesitantly. "Did you know that I actually proposed to Syaoran when we were kids?"
That was an odd way to respond, but Eriol didn't say anything. It was best to just let her talk.
"I'll bet he doesn't even remember," Meiling mused with a self-conscious little smile. "It was... almost ten years ago now. Time sure flies, doesn't it?"
Don't get off track. Eriol knew Meiling wouldn't be able to hear his thoughts, of course, but he was just used to dealing with people who could. He didn't even realize he was trying to communicate with her. It was just a habit.
"I guess it was a pretty silly thing," she continued, laughing at herself a bit. "I didn't even know any other boys back then, really, and, well, we were always together. I guess I thought we'd always be together. It's something I've always taken for granted."
Eriol couldn't let on anything that he knew, from either the past or the future. But fate was fate, and the inevitable would come to pass, even if he had to push it along.
"It was only recently that I started to get scared." Meiling wasn't even aware of what she was saying. The words just tumbled out in her artless, clumsy teenage way. "One day, he won't be around anymore. We've been together our whole lives, but he's eventually going to leave me."
Eriol kept his expression neutral. "Why do you say that?" he asked when she paused for too long. He shouldn't have spoken, but he needed her to realize where her thoughts were leading.
She shook her head, her raven ponytail swishing from side to side. "Because he has Kinomoto-san now. For a long time, I had him all to myself. But now I've had to share him, and it's so hard." She'd never thought about any of this, not in these terms, but as she said the words, everything started making sense. "I like Kinomoto-san; I really do. She's a good friend. But, somehow, that just makes it worse."
"Why?" Eriol asked quietly. She was so close. She just needed to take that next step.
"Because now I'll never know," she answered. "I'll never know if what I'm feeling is real, or if he could ever feel the same way. She got him first."
Her ancestor tried not to be amused, but an indulgent smile did play at his lips. Fifteen years old, and it's all over, he thought. So much life left for all of us, and we're trying to rush through it. When things don't go right, we assume they never will. If it hadn't been for Kaho, he probably would have felt the same way. He'd already lived one lifetime, and she'd had to convince him that this life was different, to slow down and enjoy it rather than race to adulthood again. She was willing to wait. And he'd learned to wait, too. Teenagers are just so damn impatient. In spite of his unusual circumstances, he still had to include himself in that group.
But now he knew that he'd been right about her. Meiling had accepted that she didn't want to lose Syaoran, even if she didn't know yet how deeply her feelings ran. There would be time enough for that later.
"Things have a way of working themselves out," he said to her now. "If something is meant to be, then it will be."
Meiling's nose wrinkled, and she tilted her head as she considered his cryptic words. "What does that mean?"
Eriol laughed and pushed his feet against the ground, making his swing sway a bit. "It means, that you can either tell our darling relative how you feel, or don't. It won't change anything. You have to find your own path, and he has to find his. Maybe it's the same one, and maybe it isn't."
"It won't change anything?" This isn't helping at all, she thought. But she was wrong. Just talking about what she'd been feeling lately had helped. She still didn't know what do to, of course.
"You can't change people. You can try, but you won't succeed, not where it really counts. Ultimately, his life is his decision, and your life is your decision. So, what you have to figure out is what you want, and once you know that, then you'll know what to do."
What do I want? I want.... She was afraid to let herself even think it. I want... to know if there could ever be anything more between us. I think there could be, and I think I want it. But why am I just figuring this out now? I'm too late.
Syaoran already had Sakura. So what was Meiling supposed to do? If she said something, it could ruin her friendship with both of them. But if she didn't say anything, would she lose him for good? Either way, then, she might lose him. Which would be worse? At least if she said something, she'd get an answer from him. Would that be better than never knowing?
"Remember, you don't have to make any drastic decisions today," Eriol said, repeating her advice to Confused. "Take your time and think things over. I think if you have patience, the answer will become clear."
He was right. The best thing to do would be to wait. And she was terrible at waiting.
~~-~~
Unfortunately this story has suffered while I've concentrated on my other WIPs (so feel free to check them out, too LOL). But I'm glad everyone's been enjoying this, and I truly appreciate all the reviews. Thanks!