Okay, please don't kill me! I've been struggling with where to take this chapter since the last update. At first I thought it was too soon for this, but then I realized that I can only drag it out for so long... It was going to happen eventually, so don't hurt me! You love me, remember? No hurting the author... Just to ease any anxiety you might be having, this is not the end of the fic. Nope, there's a few more chapters to go, I do believe. Heh...all that Tsusoka angst, and now this. I'm sorry, Konnie-chan! *begs forgiveness*

Lothlorien1 - *grins* It was hard for me to write. I'm actually a poet in RL, so it was hard for me to purposely write a bad poem. Very painful experience. ^_^; Bad poetry is like bad grammar - it makes my teeth hurt.

Kara Angitia - LOL. Whoops, guess I got over-enthusiastic with the cheerleader thing. *Is reminded of the 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' music video*

Konnie-chan - I'm so glad you liked it but pleasepleaseplease don't kill me for this one! *grovels at your feet*

LinaLau - *huggles* Ah, you're always so supportive. Sankyuu, and you don't kill me, either! : p

Gohma - I only know a little about Terazuma since I've only seen the anime and managed to download the first manga volume. Otherwise he'd play a bigger part, I assure you! ^_^

JoniQuest - Ah, thank you! It's great to know you like the story so much. I hope you stick with it until the end!

Philoalexandros - *grins* Only I can jinx this thing. I just hope I don't manage to do that! I'm glad you decided to review, though!

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As the clock struck 8:00, Watari grabbed his lab coat, making a mad dash for the door. He nearly collided with Tsuzuki in his eagerness, startled when he felt a hand clasp his shoulder.

"Hey, you going home?"

The blonde nodded, his eyes darting from his friend back to the door repeatedly.

Tsuzuki saw this and grinned.

"What's the hurry?"

"I have plans with Tatsumi tonight...I need to clean my apartment."

The older Shinigami's eyes widened.

"Really? That's awesome." He paused, frowning. "Are you...gonna tell him?"

Watari stared at his friend in horror.

"Well...the thought hadn't occurred to me..."

Tsuzuki's eyes softened.

"Then don't worry about it. If you didn't think of it, then it's obviously not time yet. Just have fun, okay?"

The scientist nodded, but his eyes held an edge of anxiety.

"Yeah...I guess so..."

**********

Tatsumi knocked on the door, adjusting his tie. 'I don't know why I'm so nervous,' he thought. Nonetheless, as soon as he had gotten off work, the secretary had showered, brushed his teeth, and ironed his 'good' suit. On his way out the door, Tatsumi had even considered grabbing a few flowers (from the yard, of course), but decided against it.

The door opened. Watari leaned in the doorway, smiling coyly.

"Welcome to my humble abode."

He ushered Tatsumi inside, shutting the door quietly. The secretary took his time looking around, surprised how immaculately the apartment had been cleaned. The carpet was soft under his shoes, the walls light, decorated with only a few paintings. Atop the hutch, Tatsumi spotted a row of picture frames. He smiled warmly at the pictures - one of the entire office gathered together, one of Tsuzuki and Hisoka that was obviously candid, and one of himself, glaring at the camera irritably. Dimly, the secretary thought he could recall when that picture had been taken...

"Like them?" Watari's silken voice whispered in his ear. His heart sped up at the closeness of the other man's body behind him.

"They're nice, 'Taka."

The blonde leaned against the hutch, into his line of sight.

"I take care of them. These pictures mean a lot to me."

Tatsumi looked over to the other man, noticing for the first time how glossy Watari's blonde, wavy hair looked. He had obviously taken care to primp himself. He was wearing a thin, rich green sweater with dark jeans and no shoes.

"You look beautiful, 'Taka," he commented.

The scientist smiled wickedly, his eyes traveling over the other man's body in response.

"Mmm...I was thinking we could have baked lemon shrimp for dinner. What do you think?"

Tatsumi nodded his agreement, watching his partner's eyes the whole time.

"Great. Well, I've got all the ingredients out, so I'm going to go cook it now. I would have done that before you got here, but I wanted to make sure it was okay with you first. You just sit here and relax for a bit, okay? I've got a radio with a CD player over in the corner if you want to listen to music."

He padded off to the kitchen, leaving Tatsumi alone in the living room. He sat on the loveseat, listening to his boyfriend rummaging around in the other room. 003 hopped up on the sofa next to him, tilting her head as she regarded him with wide, curious eyes. The small coffee table in front of the loveseat caught his attention. In particular, what appeared to be a large red photo album. Pausing only for a moment to consider his actions, he picked it up and opened it. A piece of unlined paper greeted him, taped to the inside of the cover.

My Afterlife, by Watari Yutaka

He smiled, turning his attention to the first page of photographs. The album was set up so that every two or so pages were devoted to a single person. The first few pages were of Watari himself. 'I wonder if it would be too obvious to ask for a copy of this one,' Tatsumi thought to himself as he located one especially attractive picture. He turned the pages, coming to photos of himself. Many of them were taken by either Watari or Tsuzuki, and showed a rather unflattering view of the Shokan's secretary. There were only two pictures in which he was genuinely smiling, and one of those showed Tsuzuki to be the cause. Tatsumi winced, the reminder of his affections a painful one. The next pages were of Tsuzuki, then Hisoka. After those came group pictures, many including Wakaba and Tsuzuki or Wakaba and a very grumpy Terazuma. Tsuzuki and Hisoka were also widely featured, and there were a few of himself with various people.

Tatsumi was genuinely surprised by how lovingly his partner had preserved those memories. 'There's much more to Yutaka than I realize,' he reminded himself firmly. The thought saddened him a little, for it was evidence of how little attention he had shown to the other man as a person. He was so caught up in his musings that he failed to notice the amber eyes that watched him.

"I take it you're not bored, then?" Watari spoke up, startling the other man.

The secretary closed the photo album, setting carefully back in its place.

"Not at all. I never realized how...nostalgic you are."

The blonde grinned, taking a seat next to Tatsumi.

"Yeah, well...I like to keep track of the things I find important, and my friends are very important to me..."

He glanced over to the Kagetsukai, suddenly unsure of himself.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked anxiously.

Tatsumi looked at him thoughtfully.

"You."

Watari's eyes widened and he had to look away.

"What...what about me?"

"How stunningly fey you look tonight, how much of an idiot I am for not having noticed sooner, how nothing else could make me as content as I am now..."

The blonde listened in rapture, his stoic partner's romantic side taking him off guard.

"Seii..." Watari felt torn between enjoying the illusion and telling the truth. He felt horrible for being so happy when it was all based on deception.

"I have something to say, and I know you're going to hate me for it. So first, just...just let me kiss you, okay?"

He leaned over, pressing his lips to the older man's desperately. He wanted so badly to lose himself in that kiss, to pretend that there weren't any secrets being kept. Tatsumi's arms wrapped around his shoulders so that Watari was being held by the other man. That singular comfort was too painfully sweet, and the blonde forced himself to pull away.

"Isn't the food done...?" Tatsumi inquired, sensing that something very upsetting was about to happen. He hoped he could distract his partner, even if it were in vain.

"To hell with the food," Watari said. He locked his eyes with the Kagetsukai's.

"Listen to me. Before I tell you what I did, I need you to understand the fact that I did it with your best interests at heart. I would never purposely do something to hurt you. And I need you to believe me when I say...when I say that I love you, because I do. I love you more than I thought I could love, Seii. I wish I could just keep this in the past and forget about it, but I love you too much to lie to you. Do you believe me?"

"Yes, but wh-"

Watari silenced him, trying not to look at the deeply concerned and very fearful expression in those deep blue eyes. His hands shook slightly as he spoke.

"I...I noticed how lonely you've been, how closed-off from others. Even your closest friends are kept at a distance. So I thought that I should do something about that, get you to loosen up some. I mean, a more relaxed, open Tatsumi means less hassle for the rest of us, right? So I...I decided to try an experiment. I was going to find someone to flirt with you, get you to open up to them...then you'd be able to find someone you could care about for real. But I...I couldn't find anyone who would be qualified to do that. I was the only one who wasn't already attached to someone else and would be willing."

He risked a glance at Tatsumi, his heart clenching at the forcibly blank look on the man's face. Watari wanted so desperately to know what he was thinking, but as always, he repressed his feelings. The blonde felt his eyes begin to sting and blur.

"I, uh...I started flirting with you and got you to go to lunch with me for the sake of the...the experiment. I...I realized early on how much fun I was having, spending time with you one-on-one. I should have realized it then...but I was in denial and too caught up in the experiment to notice. You...you opened up to me more, I did the same in return, and everything was going like I planned it. But dammit, I'm an emotionally inept person, Seii. I could see that you were beginning to care about me, but I didn't realize that I cared about you in return. I didn't want to face the reality that I was falling in love with you. But...I aborted the experiment on the seventh day, right before you asked me to be your...your boyfriend. I didn't care about the damn experiment at that point; I knew I was hurting you, and I couldn't stand it! I guess...that's when I accepted my own feelings. And here we are now... Everything's happened so quickly, you've opened up to me so much sooner than I had expected you would..."

Watari paused, trying to control his breathing. Tears edged down his cheeks.

"Everything I said to you," he continued, looking into Tatsumi's blank eyes, "I meant it. I meant every word, Seii. About...about my fears, my insecurities...my feelings for you. None of that was part of the experiment. That was genuine, always has been."

Tatsumi stared at his partner numbly, his mind working to connect everything. He saw the tears, the shaking hands, heard the pleading tone...

"You...you used me, then?" he whispered, watching apathetically as the other man's face crumpled in pain.

"Seii...I never meant to hurt you. I didn't expect things to turn out this way. I-"

"You used me. You used me as another of your experiments. Was I the constant variable? All this time, I've been giving you a piece of my soul...just handing it over, and all to further your experiment?"

The blonde shook his head adamantly.

"No! Seii, I really do love you..."

The Kagetsukai stood abruptly, smoothing out his suit. He stared down at the younger man with anger fueled by the agonizing pain he felt in his heart.

"How can I believe you, Watari? How do I know this isn't just another part of your experiment?"

He walked calmly to the door, refusing to stop despite the blonde's heart-wrenching pleas.

"I will see you at work, Watari-san. I suggest you endeavor to show up on time."

The door closed quietly behind him and Watari let his body drape across the loveseat, sobbing bitter tears. Outside the door, Tatsumi stood for a moment, wiping his own eyes discreetly before leaving for home.