The true story of the gingerbread man.
Kuroi Shi
Dedicated to Dianna.
Run run run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man. . . Hee hee hee. . . It's because of that stupid cookie, that I ended up in prison. Hee hee. How can a cookie put a wolf in prison? you may ask. It's simple, I live in a fairy tale world, and everyone loves all that is small and sweet. But the small, sweet things, are really EVIL! They are all the spawn of the devil! They are all out to get me I tell you!! All sent from hell to imprision wolves, witches, and giants. and they are going to take over the world !! The WORLD!! Hee hee heee... Hee hee hee!! Haa ha haa!!!!!
*Floosh . . . *Psquitoo* Flobischk* (Translation - Tranquilizer dart shoots out of a gun. Dart hits Mr wolf right in the neck. Wolf falls to the floor.)
3 hours later
Dude. I feel like I've just been drugged, and unconcious for 3 hours. Hey. . . The room is squishy again. WHOO HOO!
Anyway. I assume you would like to know why a cookie drove me to insanity. . . So, I'll tell you. . . . The main reason, was because it was a cookie! And it talked! Cookies can't talk. That's enough to drive anyone mad.
I was fishing in a rather large river, because I was starving, And, all I wanted was a fish.
I heard lots of shouting off in the distance, and then I heard "Run run run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man." It sounded like a whole lot of people, and various creatures were chasing something. . . A gingerbread man. It was rather unusual to hear someone being chased around here. . . Expecally a cookie. Because, the only people that lived anywhere near this river were an old couple. And all they did was bake all day long. And . . . It was a cookie. An inanimate object. A snack food. Cookies couldn't talk. So, I assumed I had heard wrong.
Occasionally, the old couple would give me a muffin. Because they knew how hard fishing is. They were nice people. I was seriously concidering going to visit them again, to keep myself from passing out from hunger.
So, I has just caught the biggest trout you had ever seen, (Now, where have I heard that before?) when a little dude came running up up beside me.
"You have to help me!" He shouted. He yelled so loud, he scared the giant fish (Actually, the fish was rather small . . But hey, I can dream can't I) off my hook.
"I ran away from an old lady, and an old man, and a bunch of animals, and I will run away from you too. But. . . First I need your help. See, I have a whole bunch of people chasing me, and I am at a dead end. If I cross the river, I will surely become soggy, and die." said the little dude
"Are you a cookie?" I asked
"I'm the gingerbread man." he replied.
"Well, I suppose I can help you. But, what's in it for me?"
"Umm. . . I will give you some food."
I thought a talking cookie was a bit odd, And I didn't know if I could trust him. He may have made a similar promise to everything that's chasing him. But, he did promise food, and I guess I'm gulliable, so I believed the little dude.
"Get on my back. I'll swim you across." I told the little sugary snack food.
He jumped on my back, and I began walking acrossthe lake. When the water began to get deep, I realized that I did not know how to swim. I told the little dude he would have to climb up on my head, so I could still touch the ground, and he wouldn't die.
The water got a bit deeper, and I had to tell the little guy to climb a bit higher. He got on my nose, as I tried to hold it up above the water. I felt really hungry. Because It had been several hours since I had last eaten. Without food, I would probably not be able to make it across the river. Just then, I realized that the little dude had jumped off my nose, and was standing on a dock in the river. I too jumped on that dock.
"Ha ha SUCKER!" Said the little dude. "I wasn't really going to give you food. . . FOOLED YOU!!"
"But, you're just a cookie." I told him.
"Yes, But, I am one smart cookie." He said. "Run Run run, as fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man."
Then that little peice of slightly burnt ginger flavoured sugar, covered in pink icing, walked right up to me, and kicked me hard, in the shins. As he did that, his little gingerbread leg fell off.
"Ahh!! Cannibal!!" He shouted.
"Cannibal? But, you are a cookie." I told him.
"Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man." Then, he punched me in the leg, with his little gingerbread arm."
And, that little arm cookie flew off too.
Once again he said "Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man." Then, the little dude crawled off, so very slowly.
Since I was still really hungry, and the little dude didn't give me the food he promised me, I ate the arm and leg he had left behind.
Just as I was eating the last little bit of slightly soggy gingerbread arm, what was left of the cookie man returned, with a cop. I was arrested. Apparantly, I was trying to trick the little dude into jumping into my mouth while I was helping him across the river, and I had managed to get his arm and leg, as he was trying to escape my monstrous fangs. The cop wouldn't believe that his arm and leg flew off when he punched, and kicked me, because that cookie said he was "Too scared to defend myself" And, everyone believes who ever is small and sweet.
So now. . . Because of a little cookie, I am a bit crazy. We get cookies for desert today. . . Of corse, I refuse to eat it. . . It talks to me "Run run run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man." Hee hee hee!! Sing my little cookie!!
*Insert tranquillizer dart sounds here*
*Three hours later*
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Kuroi Shi
Dedicated to Dianna.
Run run run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man. . . Hee hee hee. . . It's because of that stupid cookie, that I ended up in prison. Hee hee. How can a cookie put a wolf in prison? you may ask. It's simple, I live in a fairy tale world, and everyone loves all that is small and sweet. But the small, sweet things, are really EVIL! They are all the spawn of the devil! They are all out to get me I tell you!! All sent from hell to imprision wolves, witches, and giants. and they are going to take over the world !! The WORLD!! Hee hee heee... Hee hee hee!! Haa ha haa!!!!!
*Floosh . . . *Psquitoo* Flobischk* (Translation - Tranquilizer dart shoots out of a gun. Dart hits Mr wolf right in the neck. Wolf falls to the floor.)
3 hours later
Dude. I feel like I've just been drugged, and unconcious for 3 hours. Hey. . . The room is squishy again. WHOO HOO!
Anyway. I assume you would like to know why a cookie drove me to insanity. . . So, I'll tell you. . . . The main reason, was because it was a cookie! And it talked! Cookies can't talk. That's enough to drive anyone mad.
I was fishing in a rather large river, because I was starving, And, all I wanted was a fish.
I heard lots of shouting off in the distance, and then I heard "Run run run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man." It sounded like a whole lot of people, and various creatures were chasing something. . . A gingerbread man. It was rather unusual to hear someone being chased around here. . . Expecally a cookie. Because, the only people that lived anywhere near this river were an old couple. And all they did was bake all day long. And . . . It was a cookie. An inanimate object. A snack food. Cookies couldn't talk. So, I assumed I had heard wrong.
Occasionally, the old couple would give me a muffin. Because they knew how hard fishing is. They were nice people. I was seriously concidering going to visit them again, to keep myself from passing out from hunger.
So, I has just caught the biggest trout you had ever seen, (Now, where have I heard that before?) when a little dude came running up up beside me.
"You have to help me!" He shouted. He yelled so loud, he scared the giant fish (Actually, the fish was rather small . . But hey, I can dream can't I) off my hook.
"I ran away from an old lady, and an old man, and a bunch of animals, and I will run away from you too. But. . . First I need your help. See, I have a whole bunch of people chasing me, and I am at a dead end. If I cross the river, I will surely become soggy, and die." said the little dude
"Are you a cookie?" I asked
"I'm the gingerbread man." he replied.
"Well, I suppose I can help you. But, what's in it for me?"
"Umm. . . I will give you some food."
I thought a talking cookie was a bit odd, And I didn't know if I could trust him. He may have made a similar promise to everything that's chasing him. But, he did promise food, and I guess I'm gulliable, so I believed the little dude.
"Get on my back. I'll swim you across." I told the little sugary snack food.
He jumped on my back, and I began walking acrossthe lake. When the water began to get deep, I realized that I did not know how to swim. I told the little dude he would have to climb up on my head, so I could still touch the ground, and he wouldn't die.
The water got a bit deeper, and I had to tell the little guy to climb a bit higher. He got on my nose, as I tried to hold it up above the water. I felt really hungry. Because It had been several hours since I had last eaten. Without food, I would probably not be able to make it across the river. Just then, I realized that the little dude had jumped off my nose, and was standing on a dock in the river. I too jumped on that dock.
"Ha ha SUCKER!" Said the little dude. "I wasn't really going to give you food. . . FOOLED YOU!!"
"But, you're just a cookie." I told him.
"Yes, But, I am one smart cookie." He said. "Run Run run, as fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man."
Then that little peice of slightly burnt ginger flavoured sugar, covered in pink icing, walked right up to me, and kicked me hard, in the shins. As he did that, his little gingerbread leg fell off.
"Ahh!! Cannibal!!" He shouted.
"Cannibal? But, you are a cookie." I told him.
"Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man." Then, he punched me in the leg, with his little gingerbread arm."
And, that little arm cookie flew off too.
Once again he said "Run run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man." Then, the little dude crawled off, so very slowly.
Since I was still really hungry, and the little dude didn't give me the food he promised me, I ate the arm and leg he had left behind.
Just as I was eating the last little bit of slightly soggy gingerbread arm, what was left of the cookie man returned, with a cop. I was arrested. Apparantly, I was trying to trick the little dude into jumping into my mouth while I was helping him across the river, and I had managed to get his arm and leg, as he was trying to escape my monstrous fangs. The cop wouldn't believe that his arm and leg flew off when he punched, and kicked me, because that cookie said he was "Too scared to defend myself" And, everyone believes who ever is small and sweet.
So now. . . Because of a little cookie, I am a bit crazy. We get cookies for desert today. . . Of corse, I refuse to eat it. . . It talks to me "Run run run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man." Hee hee hee!! Sing my little cookie!!
*Insert tranquillizer dart sounds here*
*Three hours later*
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.