Okay ya'll, I don't how long it's going to be before my next update. I'm in the process of moving and that along with college and work is enough to make anybody want to hurl. Anyway, I'll try to get out as much as I can!

Chapter Ten: Many Musings

Randy paced the length of the locker room. He was deep in thought and didn't take any notice to the rest of the guys. His mind was a jumble. He kept wondering about whether or not Annie was pregnant. She had gone to the doctor today, and should know the results by the time she got here tonight.

He thought back to the conversation they had Thursday night. She had been so nervous.

~flashback~

"Randy, I set up an appointment for Monday in Hershey."

"Great. Are you sure they'll be able to tell by then?"

"Well, he said he would. It's not like an in home pregnancy test. The doctor actually looks inside, he ought to be able to find out that way," she laughed softy.

Randy had smiled reassuringly at her. She looked so worried. It wasn't just about the possibility of her being pregnant…it was something else. "What's wrong, Annie? And don't tell me you're worried about being pregnant. It's not that, is it?"

Annie sighed, "No……I'm worried about us."

"What do you mean?" he was confused. They were doing fine…weren't they?

"I mean, it has something to do with a baby, but not everything. I'm worried that if I am pregnant, things will change between us. Let's face it, we haven't made love since Monday, and usually…"

"I know, I'm sorry. But that's not the reason, Annie," he replied honestly. "I don't know much about, you know, pregnancy, but if you are then I don't want to risk hurting the baby."

She had looked shocked. Randy suddenly became pissed off at all of her ex-boyfriends again. Her past experiences always made her act so insecure about certain things, this obviously being one of them. She finally replied, "Oh. Well, that's still not all of it."

"Okay. Then tell me the rest," he pushed.

"What if……you…I mean, what if you change your mind?"

"Change my mind? About what?"

"About…me…us. If I'm pregnant, once the baby is here, a lot of things are going to change. Will you still want to marry me?" she had bit her lip and looked away. It hurt him to see her so worried, especially when it was basically a question of his love for her. 'How could she think such a thing?'

"Of course I will, Annie," he had crossed the room and embraced her. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she had sniffled into his shirt. She was petrified. Not only of being a mother, but of losing everything. Randy didn't know how to fix that. But he had to figure it out. He was uncertain too, but he had never questioned himself about whether or not anything would change on his part, or hers. Until now, that is.

~end flashback~

Randy took another breath. Thinking maybe all of this was for nothing. Hell, she may not even be pregnant, they didn't know anything for sure yet. He shook his head, 'How could she not be?' He had emptied himself completely inside her. He had been giving the possibility massive amounts of thought. He had tried hard to make sure that Annie didn't know of any of his doubts, but it was getting harder to hide it from her. Just last night she had asked if there was something wrong, and he had just said it was the rumble that had him all out of whack.

The truth of the matter was, that Randy was terrified. He thought back to everything that had happened in his life since October and meeting Annie, and he couldn't believe the drastic change. He had gone from partying every night to partying once a week or less. It wasn't because he felt like he couldn't, but in all honesty, because he didn't want to.

He was still unable to grasp at how quickly everything had changed between himself and Annie. They had gone from hating each other and fighting to getting along and being friends. Then, from there they had gone to being lovers and engaged. It had only been four months, and his feelings were strong, he was certain he wanted to spend his life with her.

However, he wasn't sure that they were ready to be parents. Their careers had both just started. Randy knew Annie would much rather give up her job than to see him give up his, but it bothered him that she would have to make that kind of sacrifice for him, for their child. He wanted her to be happy, and he knew how much she loved her job.

That wasn't the only thing that worried him, however. It had been only last Monday that Annie had looked like she was going to pass out or crumble under all of the stress. She had to be ordered to take a nap, for crying out loud. Now, seven days later, and she wasn't looking much better. Her skin was a little paler than usual, and no one could really tell, but he could.

Between the whole Jon thing, her transfer to the OVW, her return to the WWE, and now all these new responsibilities, Randy knew it would only be a matter of time before she had some kind of breakdown. Her stressing over her possible pregnancy probably wasn't helping anything either.

Randy let out another sigh. There were so many things to think about when something like this was at hand. He didn't know that a person could feel so many uncertainties. He was worried and in doubt, and he felt bad for thinking so negatively.

He felt bad because he knew Annie would be having it a thousand times as hard as himself if she was with child. While he would only be going through emotional changes, Annie would have to face emotional AND physical changes. Then, when the baby did come, he'd be on the road, and Annie would be at home. It wouldn't be fair for her. She'd probably feel insecure and lonely, and he didn't want to do that to her.

He couldn't help himself from getting a mental picture of a pregnant Annie. Her stomach would be round and probably only slightly sticking out, since she's so small. She'd be wearing a light pink shirt and pair of overalls, rolled up just beneath her knees, exposing her shins and bare feet.

Her deep blue eyes would look more oceanic and crystalline than ever. She'd wince every time the baby kicked, then yank his hand over to feel it move. For some reason, when he thought about it, it calmed him. It made him feel like it wouldn't matter that much if she were going to have a baby.

Then it hit him, he had a sudden epiphany. Everything became so clear. All of his questions were answered, and all of his doubts were erased. He had to find Annie. He had to tell her how he felt, no more trying to hide it, because now, for the first time in days, he was thinking clearly again.

~~~

Rose took a deep breath before she continued down the hall. She was feeling more confident than she had in days. She hadn't been at the Royal Rumble, but she had ordered it from her hotel room. The truth is, she had been afraid of seeing Rene, still so unsure of how she felt about him. She had called Stephanie and told her that she wasn't feeling well. It was true…to some extent.

The very thought of going to the arena did make her nocuous. Stephanie had told her not to worry about it. That while she'd miss her, the rest of the creative team wouldn't really need her, considering both the SMACKDOWN! and Raw writers were going to be there. Stephanie just told her to get better before Monday. They'd definitely need her then.

Rose had made it tonight, though. She had reminded herself of the declarations she had made earlier that week, and decided that she was no longer stressed about anything. She would go the creative meeting, get her job done, and go home. If she bumped into Rene, she would treat him for what he was, a friend.

She had spent the better part of the week convincing herself that friendship was indeed the only thing she felt toward him. Now she needed no more convincing. She was strong, she was confident, and more importantly, she was independent.

Rose started to make a right turn, but the sound of her stomach rumbling made her go left and head toward the cafeteria. When she walked through the doors, two things happened. One, she became face to face with the sole object of her thoughts here as of late, and two, all of the strength, confidence, and independence that she had worked so hard building up, deserted her.

Rose's legs began to feel like jelly as she looked up into the surprised, but friendly, blue eyes of Rene 'Dupree.' His huge smile was enough to make her heart switch from steady beats to soft pitter patters. Her stomach tied in knots at their closeness. They hadn't even been this close the last time. She could feel his steady breaths on her face, warm against her skin.

She noticed that his mouth was moving, and she forced herself to come back to reality. Slowly, all of the feelings that had momentarily abandoned her, found their way back to the surface. Rose regained control just in time to catch on to what he was saying.

"…alright?"

"I'm fine. Sorry about that," she smiled apologetically.

"It's alright. I'm actually glad we bumped into each other. I was wondering when you wanted another driving lesson?"

"Oh," Rose thought for a moment. She was going to have to build up a hell of a lot more confidence if she was to make it through an entire lesson with him sitting next to her,

"I'm free Wednesday," she finally chirped up.

"Great, I'll see you then," Rene started to walk away, but the stopped and turned back around. He captured the wrist of Rose, who had also started to retreat, "Hey, Rose?"

Rose froze at the effect his touch was having on her. 'It's just a wrist for crying out loud! Pull yourself together,' she yelled at herself inside her mind. She turned slowly, "Yes?"

"Do you need a lift to your hotel?"

"Um…I'm not sure that's such a-"

"C'mon, where are you staying?" he pressed.

"I'm staying at the Hotel Hershey," she said a bit hesitantly.

"Really? I'm staying there too. I haven't seen you around," he observed.

"I just checked in a few hours ago," she shrugged.

"Oh…that would explain it, I guess," he laughed. "Well, now you have to let me take you home."

Rose couldn't help smiling, "Okay. I'll meet you after the show."

"Alright, later," he said as he exited the cafeteria.

"Bye," she managed a few seconds too late. 'Oh well,' she thought to herself. Rose continued to make her way to other side of the cafeteria. Raw would be starting soon, but even sooner than that, the creative meeting would be commencing. She had to hurry up.

~~~

Annie made her way to the arena. She had just got done at the doctor's office. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. She turned into the parking lot and turned off the engine, slowly making her way out the car and into the building.

~~~

Randy walked down the ramp with Dave and Ric. He hadn't managed to get to Annie before now. He turned his mind away from the subject. He needed to focus. As soon as he turned his attention away from Annie, pained flared up his entire body. He was still aching from last night. He and Mick had really gone at it last night, and he was definitely feeling it.

Before he knew it, the match was underway, and Ric was in the ring going after Jericho. Things went by alright when he got into the ring until he got put in the corner. It usually didn't hurt so damn much, but after last night…'Fuck.' He felt out of it, like he was just drifting from one side of the ring to the other. He felt every blow, but that was about all he felt. He heard Rob's voice, "You alright?" Randy managed to get in a "Yeah, keep going. I'll be alright."

~~~

Annie watched from the monitor in the back. 'He looks like Hell,' she could tell he wasn't a hundred percent, and his night wasn't even starting. There was still a promo and then the big finish at the end of the night. Annie sighed heavily.

She had a feeling it wasn't just the beatings that was getting to Randy. When the match was finally over, Annie made her way to the entrance ramp, she wanted to see him as soon as he got backstage.

Randy came through the curtain first, he had to hurry up and get to Eric's office to cut a promo. As soon as he came through, however, he was greeted by the one person he had been trying to see all night. He looked in Annie's eyes and knew she had an answer. He sensed she was nervous, but before he could speak, he heard Eric's voice.

"Randy! C'mon, we're about to come back from break!"

Randy nodded in reply and gave an apologetic look to Annie, who gave an understanding smile. He rushed to Eric's office and got ready. When the cameraman said go, he pushed everything out of his mind, save for what he needed to do. He would have to deal with everything else in a few minutes.

~~~

Rose hurried down the hallway, looking for Stephanie. She was about to turn the corner when she heard voices. It was Randy and Annie. Rose held her breath, and tried not to eavesdrop, but she couldn't move. Besides, she had to go that way to get to Steph's office. What else was she going to do? She decided to wait it out and not interrupt, and while she tried not to listen, the rest of the building was quiet.

"Annie, I need to tell you something," Randy grabbed her hands.

"I know, but I need you to know tha-"

"Please, just listen."

"Okay," Annie nodded, squeezing his hands.

"Look, I know we've been going crazy this week, wondering whether or not you may be pregnant. I know you were really scared, and if you found out what I think you found out, then you still are scared."

Randy tried to think of a way to put what he was going to say next. All the while, Rose was standing against the wall with her eyes wide open in shock. Now she had to listen.

Randy continued, finally thinking of what he wanted to say, "The truth is, Annie, that I've been scared too. I didn't think that we'd be ready to have a baby. Both of our careers have just gotten started, and I know how much you love your job. But the thing is, I realized something tonight when I was thinking-"

"Wait a minute, I thought you told me you wouldn't mind if I were pregnant? Why didn't you tell me how you felt?" Annie asked, feeling bad that he had lied, probably to spare her any heartache. She could have been strong for him if she would have known he was feeling stressed.

"I didn't want to worry you or make you feel insecure about us. I know you've been through some bad relationships, I just wanted to make you feel reassured about ours."

"Randy, I-"

"Let me finish," he continued when she nodded, "I realized something tonight. Things moved really fast with us. We met four months ago, and now we're engaged, and you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you, Annie, and if you're pregnant, it's not going to change anything about that. The only thing that will change, is that I'll love you even more, and I'll have a child to love too. I know you're scared, but don't be. I'm here for you and I'll be there for our child too."

Annie felt her bottom lip trembling, and she threw her arms around Randy's neck and squeezed him as hard as she could. She sobbed into his shoulder, and let the tears roll. She had been dying to let them out all week, and now, they were using this opportune moment to escape. She clung to him for a few minutes and tried to regain control of herself. She had to tell him, "Randy, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?" he questioned as he wiped away one of her tears.

"I'm not pregnant," she squeaked.

Randy's eyes widened, "What?" he sounded a little disappointed, actually.

"We're not going to have a baby," she smiled wider. "Are you disappointed?"

"No…yes…I don't know. I guess it's best this way, but…"

"Yah, I know," she looked down.

Randy grabbed her around the waist and lifted her in the air, "I love you, babe."

"I love you too, sweetie," she beamed down at him.

"Marry me?"

"One of these days," she laughed.

Randy eased her down into another embrace before they started walking down the hall in a silent happiness.

Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. She had almost cried. How could any two people love each other that much? It seemed that every time she saw Randy and Annie together, she was baffled by it. Here she was, protecting herself from love, assuring herself that she didn't need or want something like that. Yet, the more she saw how happy other couples were like, Paul and Stephanie or Randy and Annie, the more she questioned herself, 'What's there to protect myself from?'

How could she not want that? Was she even sure she didn't need it? They all made love look like something essential and good. However, in Rose's observations of foster parents and thoughts of her own parents, she never could grasp how love could be anything other than negative. Something that destroys and causes pain. Solitude had always been Rose's way. No friends, no family, and no love.

She just didn't know anymore. Everything she had once believed was becoming more and more questionable by the day. Especially when she spent time with Rene. She had tried to hate him in the beginning, but she just couldn't do it. And now, now it was even worse. Now they were seeing each other for driving lessons, swimming lessons, he was taking her home from the events, eating together occasionally, and to top it all off, she had to run away from him just to keep herself from kissing him.

Rose shook her head. What the Hell was she going to do? She had excepted his invitation to drive her to the hotel, and Wednesday she'd be getting another driving lesson. 'Could things possibly get any more confusing?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, there it is. I'll try to have another chapter out tomorrow or sometime this week. I'll try, I promise! But like I said before, we're moving, and it's going to take a couple days for things to get settled and back to normal! REVIEW, as always!

Pammi