There once was a terror on Earth. His name was David. A.K.A.
Slurpey Guy, Smeagol, or Pokey Guy. One day he was terrorizing his sister
and her friend, who happened to be a hobbit. Suddenly, the three of them
saw a flash from David's camera, and suddenly they ended up suddenly, at
suddenly Middle-Earth suddenly.
"What the hell?" said Stephanie. The hobbit.
"That isn't G rated!" screamed Elizabeth the elf!
"Whateva'!" said Stephanie the hobbit.
David remained silent, gazing evily into the distance. He pointed his camera and a flash occured. Off in the distance, they heard someone scream:
"Dammit!"
A few moments later, Frodo popped up in front of David.
"You are a very immature lad," said Frodo, very seriously. Then he looked down at David's camera quizically, and took it from him. "WHAT IS THIS EVIL MAGIC?"
"Give me back my camera!" screamed David in a high-pitched voice; like the girl he truly is.
"Hahahahahahaha you're a girl!" taunted Elizabeth the elf.
"I know! I mean... no I'm not!" retorted David.
Awkward silence.
"Frodo!" Stephanie screamed, and hugged him. The camera flashed in Frodo's hand. It was a picture of his beautiful hairy foot!
Suddenly David started making slurping noises! (Hence the name Slurpy Guy.) It was very creepy and disturbing. Elizabeth with her free hand bonked him on the head and knocked him out. But not for long...
Suddenly everybody else from the fellowship was there! Woo! Hoo!
"Where the hell am I?" said Legolas, scratching his blonde head.
"You are truly a silly goose elf," said Gimli. He was knocked out. Doosh!
Pippin was attracted to the shiny metal looking object, (which was the EVIL MAGIC!) "What is this?" he asked innocently. David popped up from the ground.
"EVIL MAGIC!" he screamed, then he did a double-take.
"EVIL CHILD OF THE APOCOLYPS!" screamed Merry, and Pippin along with Sam tackled him down. (Tackled David down.) David was knocked out again!
Then, Boromir, (WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!) took the camera, and pounded on it with his horn. Doosh. It was cloven in two! Suddenly the camera flashed, and Boromir started twitching and fell to the ground! DEAD!
"HOLY MOTHER OF ELVES! BOROMIR DIED BY THE... EVIL MAGIC!" screamed Legolas, and he knocked an arrow and it flew at the... EVIL MAGIC! The evil magic FLASHED and the arrow was DEFLECTED!
Then... David got up again.
"It's alive!" screamed Elizabeth.
Suddenly David seized his camera, and jumped up on Aragorn's back. Aragorn was too startled to do anything, so Gandalf bopped David in the head with his staff.
"FOOL OF A... EVIL MAGIC!" he screamed and David passed out again. On Aragorn's back. Aragorn couldn't get the little Slurpy Guy off of him.
"Damn it... this always happens to me..." he muttered. Legolas gave him a look.
Aragorn reached up and grabbed David's legs. David screamed like a girl, and the camera flashed in Aragorn's face. Aragorn was put into a daze!
"Oh, God, no..." muttered Gimli. David started flashing the camera in everyone's faces.
Now, all that was left was Stephanie, Frodo, Elizabeth, and Legolas! (
They were standing back to back! Ready for attack!
David started to poke everybody's foreheads. Frodo slapped his hand away.
"EWWWW!" Frodo screamed. Stephanie tackled David to the ground.
"EAT THIS, SLURPY, POKEY, SMEAGOL GUY!"
And David passed out again. What a weakling.
The dead body of Gollum started twitching! (Don't ask why it was dead or how it got there, okay? You'll just make my job harder here.)
He crossed his arms over each other and wiggled his fingers! Bwahahahahahahaha!
"BAKA! SHIMATTA BAKA! JAPANESE RULES!" Elizabeth screamed.
David woke up and crossed his arms and wiggled his fingers, then screamed when he saw Stephanie, and fell back to his....dead state.
"No, it's like, hmmmmm......" Stephanie said., as she read this fic.
"Don't ask, or your paths will lead to the wrong outcome."
"What?" Legolas asked Elizabeth.
"I LOVE YOU!" Elizabeth screamed.
Frodo shifted around uncomfortably. "Wow. Get a room," he said.
"AND I LOVE YOU!" shouted Stephanie! She sprang into his arms! The poor little guy could barely hold her, so he sank to his knees in pain. Oh well. He's strong. He could bare the ring.
Meanwhile... dead David was arguing with dead Gollum. They were trying to see who was hotter.
8*-9
"What was that?" Frodo asked, and he lifted his finger and pointed to the things above this sentence.
"I'm hotter!" screamed David!
"No I'm hotter!" screamed dead Gollum!
"NONE OF YOU ARE HOT I'M THE HOTTEST!" screamed Legolas, and then he passed out again.
Boromir gave him a look. 'I'm really the hottest one... they just don't know it,' he thought...
'No, I'm really the hottest one,' someone thought. IT WAS GIMLI!
"DAMN YOU ALL, I CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS, AND I'M THE SEXIEST!" screamed Gandalf. Go gay guy! Show 'em who's boss!
Awkward silence.
"I am! LOOK AT MY SEXY CAMERA!" screamed david! The camera gave David a look. Slurpy.....
MAY IT BE, YOUR JOURNEY ON!
"TO LIGHT THE DAY!" David sang. Everyone takled him. They beat him. They shoved potatoes in his mouth. They stuffed orcs in his shirt. They put onions and scorpions in his pants. Ouch.
"SLURP SLURP MUMBLE MUMBLE POKE!" DAVID SCREAMED.
"@" SCREAMED EVERYONE!
Anyone realize this fic doesn't make sense?
"LETS THROW A PARTY!" screamed Gandalf. "THEN I CAN SHOW HOW SEXY I AM!"
"GO GAY GUY!" screamed all the hobbits. They were trying to be... friendly. They really felt sorry for the guy.
Disco lights fell from the sky! Everything turned into a disco room! Gandalf was dressed as a hippie! He was doing the egyption dance! Frodo hid his eyes behind Sam; who was hiding his eyes behind Merry; who was hiding behind Pippin, who was hiding behind Boromir, who was hiding behind Aragorn, who was hiding behind Stephanie, who was hiding behind Gimli, who was hiding behind David, who was hiding behind Elizabeth, who was hiding behind Legolas. Legolas; unfortuantely; had to see the sight. He was an elf. He couldn't die.
"I will be scarred for the rest of my immortal life." He muttered.
"YOU'RE SPENDING YOUR IMMORTAL LIFE WITH US, DUDE!" David screamed. "IF ELIZABETH IS GOING TO MARRY YOU, THEN YOU HAVE ME AS A BROTHER-IN-LAW!"
"HOLY CRAP!" Legolas screamed. "I'm not marrying you now!" he turned to Elizabeth.
"DAMN YOU DAVID!" Elizabeth said and turned around and killed her brother. He joined Gollum in holy matrimony.
"Dun worry, love, he's gone forever!" Elizabeth said and raised her arms to the air. She took Gandalf's staff and knocked out the gay guy, then took Legolas's hand and started to dance.
"Glad that mushiness is over," mumbled the hobbits. Then they started dancing on the tables. They were drunk. Wow.
Suddely... ... ... there was a flash from David's camera from when he had taken a picture of EW at the bus stop, (EW is a codename), and he appeared! He thought everything was stupid and gay.
"Where the crap am I?" he asked.
"THAT'S RUDE, THAT'S NOT G RATED!" shouted Elizabeth, and EW gave her a look and she started dancing with Legolas again. Legolas gave EW a look and EW gave him a look and Stephanie popped up in-between them so they wouldn't die.
EW and Elizabeth are immortal enemies. Mortal enemies. Immortal enimies. Mortal. OH WHATEVA'!
Stephanie took EW's hand, and they started dancing! EW didn't resist! Mwahahahaha. He was nice for once in his life, but his thoughts were pretty R rated, and Gandalf heard, and bopped him one. EW took a basketball out of the air and nailed the gay guy in the back of the head. How many mortal/immortal enemies will this guy make? Stephanie asked him that and he said,
"LOTS!" (
"Okay, then, J.F. Kennedy..."
This is a bad fic.
Suddenly, flash. Stephanie, Ew, Frodo, Elizabeth, Legolas, the dead body of Gollum and David in holy matrimony landed in Earth. Legolas and Elizabeth ran off to Japan and got married. Away from David. David was dead with Gollum oin holy matrimony. They had a honeymoon. In Japan.
Stephanie and EW got married in New Zealend, and they lived happily ever after in a hole. Not just any smelly, uncomfortable hole, but a hobbit hole, and that means comfort. Of course, EW made himself a gigantic basketball court, so, yeah. Do what you want to do, dude.
Frodo went to the wedding, and Stephanie married him, too. (
GOODNESS CHILD! :D
Ew made Frodo his best man. Not clean his dirty underwear. I mean, comb his hair. What? *laughing* Laughing. AHHAHAHA! LAUGHING! That's funny. I'se the b'y that builds the boat and I'se the b'y that sails her! MAGGOTY BUTTER! I DONN'T WANT YOUR MAGGOTY FISH, THAT'S NO GOOD FOR WINTER! I TOOK LIZZER TO THE DANCE, AND WAS UP TO HER KNEES IN GRAVEL. Oh-OH! Fogo, Twilingate, Morton's Horbor! Her peticoat wants a border! Old Sam Oliver in the dark. Corner. All around the.....cirle.
AHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THE END!!!!!!!!!
THE END!!!!!!!!!!
Wait! Ubi late dao omnis tera! Ubi late ubi late! Omnis tera! Ubi late!
SINGS RATHER LOUDLY AND OUT OF TUNE
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT.
FOR REAL.
THE END.
"What the hell?" said Stephanie. The hobbit.
"That isn't G rated!" screamed Elizabeth the elf!
"Whateva'!" said Stephanie the hobbit.
David remained silent, gazing evily into the distance. He pointed his camera and a flash occured. Off in the distance, they heard someone scream:
"Dammit!"
A few moments later, Frodo popped up in front of David.
"You are a very immature lad," said Frodo, very seriously. Then he looked down at David's camera quizically, and took it from him. "WHAT IS THIS EVIL MAGIC?"
"Give me back my camera!" screamed David in a high-pitched voice; like the girl he truly is.
"Hahahahahahaha you're a girl!" taunted Elizabeth the elf.
"I know! I mean... no I'm not!" retorted David.
Awkward silence.
"Frodo!" Stephanie screamed, and hugged him. The camera flashed in Frodo's hand. It was a picture of his beautiful hairy foot!
Suddenly David started making slurping noises! (Hence the name Slurpy Guy.) It was very creepy and disturbing. Elizabeth with her free hand bonked him on the head and knocked him out. But not for long...
Suddenly everybody else from the fellowship was there! Woo! Hoo!
"Where the hell am I?" said Legolas, scratching his blonde head.
"You are truly a silly goose elf," said Gimli. He was knocked out. Doosh!
Pippin was attracted to the shiny metal looking object, (which was the EVIL MAGIC!) "What is this?" he asked innocently. David popped up from the ground.
"EVIL MAGIC!" he screamed, then he did a double-take.
"EVIL CHILD OF THE APOCOLYPS!" screamed Merry, and Pippin along with Sam tackled him down. (Tackled David down.) David was knocked out again!
Then, Boromir, (WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!) took the camera, and pounded on it with his horn. Doosh. It was cloven in two! Suddenly the camera flashed, and Boromir started twitching and fell to the ground! DEAD!
"HOLY MOTHER OF ELVES! BOROMIR DIED BY THE... EVIL MAGIC!" screamed Legolas, and he knocked an arrow and it flew at the... EVIL MAGIC! The evil magic FLASHED and the arrow was DEFLECTED!
Then... David got up again.
"It's alive!" screamed Elizabeth.
Suddenly David seized his camera, and jumped up on Aragorn's back. Aragorn was too startled to do anything, so Gandalf bopped David in the head with his staff.
"FOOL OF A... EVIL MAGIC!" he screamed and David passed out again. On Aragorn's back. Aragorn couldn't get the little Slurpy Guy off of him.
"Damn it... this always happens to me..." he muttered. Legolas gave him a look.
Aragorn reached up and grabbed David's legs. David screamed like a girl, and the camera flashed in Aragorn's face. Aragorn was put into a daze!
"Oh, God, no..." muttered Gimli. David started flashing the camera in everyone's faces.
Now, all that was left was Stephanie, Frodo, Elizabeth, and Legolas! (
They were standing back to back! Ready for attack!
David started to poke everybody's foreheads. Frodo slapped his hand away.
"EWWWW!" Frodo screamed. Stephanie tackled David to the ground.
"EAT THIS, SLURPY, POKEY, SMEAGOL GUY!"
And David passed out again. What a weakling.
The dead body of Gollum started twitching! (Don't ask why it was dead or how it got there, okay? You'll just make my job harder here.)
He crossed his arms over each other and wiggled his fingers! Bwahahahahahahaha!
"BAKA! SHIMATTA BAKA! JAPANESE RULES!" Elizabeth screamed.
David woke up and crossed his arms and wiggled his fingers, then screamed when he saw Stephanie, and fell back to his....dead state.
"No, it's like, hmmmmm......" Stephanie said., as she read this fic.
"Don't ask, or your paths will lead to the wrong outcome."
"What?" Legolas asked Elizabeth.
"I LOVE YOU!" Elizabeth screamed.
Frodo shifted around uncomfortably. "Wow. Get a room," he said.
"AND I LOVE YOU!" shouted Stephanie! She sprang into his arms! The poor little guy could barely hold her, so he sank to his knees in pain. Oh well. He's strong. He could bare the ring.
Meanwhile... dead David was arguing with dead Gollum. They were trying to see who was hotter.
8*-9
"What was that?" Frodo asked, and he lifted his finger and pointed to the things above this sentence.
"I'm hotter!" screamed David!
"No I'm hotter!" screamed dead Gollum!
"NONE OF YOU ARE HOT I'M THE HOTTEST!" screamed Legolas, and then he passed out again.
Boromir gave him a look. 'I'm really the hottest one... they just don't know it,' he thought...
'No, I'm really the hottest one,' someone thought. IT WAS GIMLI!
"DAMN YOU ALL, I CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS, AND I'M THE SEXIEST!" screamed Gandalf. Go gay guy! Show 'em who's boss!
Awkward silence.
"I am! LOOK AT MY SEXY CAMERA!" screamed david! The camera gave David a look. Slurpy.....
MAY IT BE, YOUR JOURNEY ON!
"TO LIGHT THE DAY!" David sang. Everyone takled him. They beat him. They shoved potatoes in his mouth. They stuffed orcs in his shirt. They put onions and scorpions in his pants. Ouch.
"SLURP SLURP MUMBLE MUMBLE POKE!" DAVID SCREAMED.
"@" SCREAMED EVERYONE!
Anyone realize this fic doesn't make sense?
"LETS THROW A PARTY!" screamed Gandalf. "THEN I CAN SHOW HOW SEXY I AM!"
"GO GAY GUY!" screamed all the hobbits. They were trying to be... friendly. They really felt sorry for the guy.
Disco lights fell from the sky! Everything turned into a disco room! Gandalf was dressed as a hippie! He was doing the egyption dance! Frodo hid his eyes behind Sam; who was hiding his eyes behind Merry; who was hiding behind Pippin, who was hiding behind Boromir, who was hiding behind Aragorn, who was hiding behind Stephanie, who was hiding behind Gimli, who was hiding behind David, who was hiding behind Elizabeth, who was hiding behind Legolas. Legolas; unfortuantely; had to see the sight. He was an elf. He couldn't die.
"I will be scarred for the rest of my immortal life." He muttered.
"YOU'RE SPENDING YOUR IMMORTAL LIFE WITH US, DUDE!" David screamed. "IF ELIZABETH IS GOING TO MARRY YOU, THEN YOU HAVE ME AS A BROTHER-IN-LAW!"
"HOLY CRAP!" Legolas screamed. "I'm not marrying you now!" he turned to Elizabeth.
"DAMN YOU DAVID!" Elizabeth said and turned around and killed her brother. He joined Gollum in holy matrimony.
"Dun worry, love, he's gone forever!" Elizabeth said and raised her arms to the air. She took Gandalf's staff and knocked out the gay guy, then took Legolas's hand and started to dance.
"Glad that mushiness is over," mumbled the hobbits. Then they started dancing on the tables. They were drunk. Wow.
Suddely... ... ... there was a flash from David's camera from when he had taken a picture of EW at the bus stop, (EW is a codename), and he appeared! He thought everything was stupid and gay.
"Where the crap am I?" he asked.
"THAT'S RUDE, THAT'S NOT G RATED!" shouted Elizabeth, and EW gave her a look and she started dancing with Legolas again. Legolas gave EW a look and EW gave him a look and Stephanie popped up in-between them so they wouldn't die.
EW and Elizabeth are immortal enemies. Mortal enemies. Immortal enimies. Mortal. OH WHATEVA'!
Stephanie took EW's hand, and they started dancing! EW didn't resist! Mwahahahaha. He was nice for once in his life, but his thoughts were pretty R rated, and Gandalf heard, and bopped him one. EW took a basketball out of the air and nailed the gay guy in the back of the head. How many mortal/immortal enemies will this guy make? Stephanie asked him that and he said,
"LOTS!" (
"Okay, then, J.F. Kennedy..."
This is a bad fic.
Suddenly, flash. Stephanie, Ew, Frodo, Elizabeth, Legolas, the dead body of Gollum and David in holy matrimony landed in Earth. Legolas and Elizabeth ran off to Japan and got married. Away from David. David was dead with Gollum oin holy matrimony. They had a honeymoon. In Japan.
Stephanie and EW got married in New Zealend, and they lived happily ever after in a hole. Not just any smelly, uncomfortable hole, but a hobbit hole, and that means comfort. Of course, EW made himself a gigantic basketball court, so, yeah. Do what you want to do, dude.
Frodo went to the wedding, and Stephanie married him, too. (
GOODNESS CHILD! :D
Ew made Frodo his best man. Not clean his dirty underwear. I mean, comb his hair. What? *laughing* Laughing. AHHAHAHA! LAUGHING! That's funny. I'se the b'y that builds the boat and I'se the b'y that sails her! MAGGOTY BUTTER! I DONN'T WANT YOUR MAGGOTY FISH, THAT'S NO GOOD FOR WINTER! I TOOK LIZZER TO THE DANCE, AND WAS UP TO HER KNEES IN GRAVEL. Oh-OH! Fogo, Twilingate, Morton's Horbor! Her peticoat wants a border! Old Sam Oliver in the dark. Corner. All around the.....cirle.
AHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THE END!!!!!!!!!
THE END!!!!!!!!!!
Wait! Ubi late dao omnis tera! Ubi late ubi late! Omnis tera! Ubi late!
SINGS RATHER LOUDLY AND OUT OF TUNE
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT.
FOR REAL.
THE END.