The Latenight Adventures of Margret
Chapter 2 - Tanning and Gretchel and Felicity and -- X_X
By Lady Yami
AN: BUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Shouldn't I be working on Riku Goes to the Mall?...Yes. XD But writing that is so hard. **cough** I feel better when I'm writing something different like this. ._. Anyways, this chapter features a lot of Riku being stupid. ^^
People seem to be under the impression that I hate the silver-haired keyboy. The answer is NAY! _O I just simply like making fun of him. When I first started reading into KH, in fact, he was my favorite character simply because of his role in the story. However, it soon came to my attention that Riku was EVERYONES' favorite character, and I was just like....."Screw this"! _O I eventually got more into Sora, and I found I actually liked him better than Repooped.
Riku: Repooped? -_-
Sora: **struts**
Kairi: **gets squashed by Vegnagun**
Margret: **knits** _O FWOOBA BWA BWA!
There you are, my pre-story ramble. 10 reviews a chapter is all I ask for, but more will make things come faster. XD
Disclaimer: Do I really need to add one for the second chapter, to? O_o Ah well. I don't own KH. Duh. But I do wonder...has anyone ever actually been sued on this site for not adding a disclaimer? Do lawyers scuttle around on this? IS FF.N A LAWYER PLAYGROUND? IS IT?! DO THEY GAIN EXP?! HUH? HUH?! **SCREAM**
....Okay, laugh. Just try. XD
On a note: THANK YOU REN!
All I have is Word Pad, so I had to send the .rtf format to Ren, whom could then save it in a .html format my happy uploading doom. **bows**
Note 2: Downoad the Star Ocean EX Opening 'To the Light'. +_+
Note 3: Buy Final Fantasy: Unlimited. Guranteed consumption of your soul. @_@
/AN
Destiny Island.
Paradise.
Sweet tropical breeze.
Beautiful landscape.
The laughter of children.
And then;
" I AM THE ALMIGHTY WAFFLE KING"!
The peace was wrecked instantly, needless to say. Birds erupted from their various perches among the islet, a random hurricane destroyed a few huts (Selphie went flying by disdainfully), a car exploded, the sun went out briefly, and Tidus stopped trying to hit on a palm tree.
"...Riku....shut up."
Silence.
"But...K-chan...," the voice whined, but was quieted again by a midly-cute and highly nasal female voice.
"Riku...just...," the voice trailed off. And now we could indeed see that the voice belonged to a pretty teenage girl who looked about 16, with a halo of red hair and clear blue eyes.
She looked innocent enough, really. Her has was kept shoulder-length, and she was wearing a simple white tank top with a denim skirt. She let the familiar sand sift between her toes as she sighed. The fanboys drooled, but were promptly eaten by a random Unknown. Possibly Blackcoat.
Errrmmm...anyways. She held a pitcher of lemonade in one hand, and wore a disdainful expression on her heart-shaped face.
She was standing next to a hammock, which was placed rather secretively in the MIDDLE OF THE BEACH. It was a normal hammock, really, with a strong bamboo stand supporting it. The thing itself was the simple white rope kind. Not too unusual, not at all. What WAS unusual, however, was the person laying in it.
A long man, obviously and---
....Clear all thoughts out of your head...the bad kind, I mean.
"You mean the perverse kind"? The girl, now called Kairi, questioned, ignoring the fact that the narration and whatnot and simply come out of nowhere.
"Precisely, you st00pid Mary Sue BIATCH"!
"Lady...," Kairi said sternly, "You MUST STOP putting yourself in your own stories. It's bad enough with Riku Goes to the Mall or whatever shit that is".
"Yes'm."
"Who was that, Kairi"? Came the deeper yet still teenage voice.
"Nobody, Riku. Just some dumbass 15 year old who's supposed to be doing her homework but keeps minimizing it to work on this".
"Ah," Riku said.
There was a silence between them, and then; "Kairi....why won't I tan"?
Kairi looked gravely to the sand below. "Thing is, Riku....nobody knows."
" I mean....we've apparently spent a lot of our lives on this island, like, every day. And yet...none of us are tan," he sighed.
"Well, there's Wakka," Kairi interjected hopefully.
"He's half Jamaican and half st00pid b4ll d00d".
"Umm...Tidus"?
"He's a main character. Plus, he ain't THAT tan," Riku said sternly.
"...Sora"? Kairi knew she had made a mistake. For, there were a few changes in Riku since he had returned from Kingdom Hearts;
1 He smelled funny.
2 He got a spiffy outfit.
3 Any mention of Sora threw him into Deep-Diveish rage.
Almost immediatly, the sky darkened over menacingly. Clouds covered the sun ("NOOOOOOOOO! NOW WE'LL REALLY NEVER TAN"!, Selphie screamed.) The landscape turned menacing, and Riku was suddenly holding the Oblivion to her throat. She sighed.
And NOW she realized why she had never gone out with him.
Meanwhile....
"I've gotttttttttttttt a lovelllyyy bunch of coconuts"!
"Deedly dee"!
"Heerrreee they are stannnnnnddddddiinnggg in a rowww"!
"Bum bum bum"!
"Big ones"!
"Small ones"!
"Some as big as your head"!
"Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wr--"
"HEY, THAT WAS MY LINE"! The second voice roared, and one could see that there were indeed two Unknows; sitting inside a quaint looking cafe in Uninspired Metro Area. From this point forwards, they shall be known as Gretchel and Felicity. ^^
Gretchel flipped off his hood deftly, his red eyes flashing insanely in all his seme rage. His hair was a dark sky blue. It was sucha pretty blue, in fact, that you wanted to stick crappy little glittery things on it, then yell "OH UNKNOWN, YOU ARE SO TEH LOVELY AND STARRYFUL"! and then you will try and fly a rocket into him, only his head will explode and then the camels will come to eat the remains and --
Felicity quaked, and his own hood slid off. He had perfectly lovely shaggy white hair, with soft amber eyes. He was currently shaking like a leaf, as it was because his partner in insanity, (and Monty Python songs, as seen above), was currently ready to go medevil on his ass.
"Felicity...how many times do I have to say it....," he began, his gloved hand reaching out to lace deftly through his companion's pretty sparkly hair. "Do not steal my LINES"! He roared, and strange theme music came out of nowhere. Possibly Uranus. Or HIsanus. Or Sora's----
The audience leveled a shotgun deftly at the authoress, who merely coughed, pushed her glasses up and continued typing.
"B-but...that was MY line," he began, and then quickly interjected before Gretchel's theme music could start again, "We CAME here in order to seek the one who bears the key--" he started, but was stopped short when a giant key suddenly imapled him.
"KEYS!! WITH AN "S", MOTHER FUCKER"!!! Roared the one who sees both dead people AND stupid people. The Keyblade returned to it's rightful owner, and Felicity's wound was healed with the power of Elmer's Glue.
Because Unknowns are made of wood and melted condoms. Remember that.
Gretchel blinked as Felicity poked tentatively at his now-healed wound. (He he, poked is a funny word! ^^) "That was...special...". Both Unknowns finished simultaneously.
Gretchel's bishounen features darkened. "If he can hear us...he's got to have...recon, or some shit".
Felicity blinked and giggled in all his uke goodness. "Silly, recconisance is when you take something like a radar and--"
"URUSEI"! Gretchel roared, and breathed fire on Felicity. His hair sizzled happily, and Felicity ran around screaming. When the fire had stopped happily consuming his hair (after he dunked hishead in a toliet), he stood very carefully, his hand poised above the table, one mild amber eye fixed on his companion. Gretchel went from his normal healthy tan hue (HOW DOES HE DO IT?!) to a nasty white palour. "Y-you wouldn't....," he stammered, licking his now-dry lips.
"If you do something like that again...Yes. But for now, no!" The uke finished, and then smiled with his big-gentle-psycho eyes.
Gretchel's color returned. Almost at once, his swaggering, total-confidence attitude was back and kickin'. "Shall we go destroy something, amigo"? He smiled.
"Indeed," the uke agreed gently, and they walked out towards the light-filled doorframe with their hearts united in doomy goodness.
Then a rocket hit Gretchel's head.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, THAT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK"!
AN:...Reviews! +_+ And...I really need to know what people like the most. I know this wasn't much of a chapter, I was just sort of setting up scenarios. @@