Many moons have passed since Xena died. The nightmares never stop.
The pain never goes away. The tears fall ceaselessly. I haven't slept, I
can't eat. My heart and soul have been ripped from my body. I can't bare
the pain any longer. The light has left me and it won't return. I feel
the darkness coming. I can't stop it. I won't stop it. I welcome it. As
I hold this dagger to my heart, something inside tries to stop me. I can
hear her screaming at me to not do it. 'But I want to!" I yell back.
'No,' she yells to me. 'Why not? You did this to me,' I reply. 'I'm
sorry Gabrielle. I never wanted to leave you. But I couldn't let those
souls suffer because of me. They are at peace and so am I. You have to
let me go,' she calmly said to me. 'I can't let you go. If I do then I
have to admit to myself that you're really gone. I can't do that,' I reply
as the tears fall freely from my eyes. 'I know it's hard to do, but you
have to. It's hard for me to see you and not be able to hold and comfort
you. How do you think that makes me feel? Gabrielle, if I could I would
hold you until all the pain just melts away. But I can't and that just
kills me. If there was a way for me to return to you without putting the
other souls in danger, I would,' she said as tears streamed down her face.
I sat there staring up into her eyes. There was pain and hurt in them. I
could see it. Was I causing all of that? I never meant to hurt her. 'I'm
sorry Xena. I didn't mean to cause your pain. It's just that life is so
hard without you. I'm afraid I'll forget you Xena. I don't want to forget
you,' I cry finally letting go of my pain. 'I don't think you will forget
about me. I have to go now Gabrielle. You must let me go now. I will
always be with you. Remember, I will always love you, my beautiful bard,'
she replies as she slowly fades away. 'I love you always,' I reply. I
look at the dagger that's still in my hand. I let the dagger fall from my
hand and stand up. I sigh a big sigh as I let Xena go. I know that one
day I will see her beautiful face and lovely blue eyes again. I realize
that her memory will live on in me forever. She will never really be gone
to me as long as she lives on in my heart.
