Author's Note: Hmmm, if you all haven't noticed 7 and 8 had no chapter titles...heh, woops! Well please enjoy this chapter, and I guess I left you all in a cliffhanger, huh? *DUH!*
animelubber- Thank You! All this is making me soooo happy! Thanks so much! *smiles* AAH! I can't stop smiling! You are such a wonderful person!
Moonmage- What will Shigure do? I'm sorry to say that this chapter doesn't explain what he will do... maybe a little but it won't. So it'll be in the next chapter! This chapter has a lot of stuff... of course words, too! Thanks!
Lil-Sun-Rei- OOOoooOOooh! Lolly! Is it strawberry?! I can get extremely addicted to starwberry anything! Evil cliffhanger are the best aren't they?? BWAHAHA!! ¬_¬ *ahem*
C.B.- Thank you so much for reviewing! Don't worry! Yuki shall remember in this chapter! He WILL! Heh, thank you for reviewing!
Enchanted Crimson Rose- Of course people hate suspense! I hate it, but at the same time LOVE it! n_n I feel so loved! I'm in both favorite lists? I feel loved!! WooOhoO! Thank you for reading my story as well as reviewing it! I feel the same way, but my two favorite are Yuki and Kyo. And I prefer the pairing Yuki and Tohru-- although there's nothing wrong with Kyo/Tohru I just think Yuki and Tohru are more compatible!
TYouhkriu- Shall the Sohmas hate Tohru? Hmmm... let's see in the next chapter! My goodness, Yuki is so loved by you! n_n Thanks!
flaming-river- Thank you for such a comment! I'm not sure if I should be happy that you envy me... there are a lot more people that are WAAAAAAAAAAY skilled than me, but thank you anyways! n_n It's good to hear you're addicted to my story! (Or is it bad? Good for me bad for you I guess)
Thank you for reading and reviewing everyone! I appreciate it ALOT!! Enjoy!
-=-
Chapter 9: Nobody's Fault
Yuki tried to move his right arm. He tried again.
"Dammit." He whispered to himself.
He was moved into Shigure's house now, and just a while ago, Hatori had helped him use his right hand. He tried to hold a glass of water, and it ended up breaking on the floor. He tried to eat with his right hand, and ended up with with food all the table. He saw Kyo smirk for a while, then it disappeared after some time. He wanted to grab the cat's neck and wring the life out of it-- but his stupid arm wasn't working right.
He sighed, as he looked at it, then shook his thoughts away from it. Shigure hasn't been in the house lately and whenever he was-- he looked like he had just seen a ghost of some sort. He looked pale and as if he lacked sleep.
'Something is very ominous about this...' He thought. He was hiding something, and when Hatori did come over, he had spoken with him in the office. Yuki wanted to eavesdrop, but, that was just wrong-- curiousity did kill the cat. He smirked at the passing thought. How he wished right now.
When Hatori came out, he was a bit too quiet. Yuki wondered what happened-- what they talked about.
"I wish my stupid arm would hurry up and heal." Yuki said to himself. He was getting very frustrated, suddenly feeling drowsy he layed himself on his bed.
-=-
Kyo had smirked when he saw how helpless the rat was. 'Serves him right' was the passing thought, then, '...That's kinda cold.'
WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH HIM?! Was he losing his mind? He was ACTUALLY feeling sorry for the RAT?! He shook his head. He had been on the roof ever since Hatori came, he heard a few words exchange between Shigure and Hatori...
--"...it's the journal... you should really read..."--
--"...What?... impossible...there should be... maybe it's another clan..."--
He furrowed his eye brows together, "Journal? What the hell is Shigure reading now?" He asked out loud at no one in particular. He shuddered involuntarily at what he just said. Shigure was such an idiotic pervert. But, why should Hatori read a hentai book? Maybe it's important or something--
Back at the main problem at hand-- FEELING SORRY FOR THE RAT?! He was officially insane. Why should he, when Yuki was pampered all his damn life with everyone adoring his every move? His every word? His every damn breath that he takes? He didn't even see Yuki show some mercy when he's flying through the every door!
His temper went loose, "I shouldn't even be sorry, because I'm the cat. It's his stupid ass fault I'm a cat-- his stupid dumbass fault for everything!"
--"... why do you blame Yuki...? It's not his fault too, you know? He had no choice being born under the year of the rat... and so did you, Kyo.."--
Tohru said those when they were walking back home one day, when Yuki was in some student council meeting. He tried to find an excuse to say to her, "You're wrong! It is his fault!" But, nothing came. Every time he opened his mouth, Tohru would find a way to trap him. She had always tried to tell him this simple message... it was the only message she had always, always tried to say...
-=-
Akito looked around him. He was still on his futon, slowly dying, slowly fading away from the world. His room was dark, and he smelled hate in the air. Hate for what? Hate for his being born just to die. Hate for not living the life he should be living?
They all had it easy on them. They were allowed to live, while he was locked in his own personal cage of terror. 'When will I die? Will I wake tomorrow?' It was all he could think of. He'd often wish he'd die on the very spot where he'd sit or lay upon, so that the endless questions would come to a stop.
They roamed free outside under the sky so blue and they were able to breathe lightly with no real doubts. And him? He roamed under the darkest clouds and breathed heavily with doubts. He shouldn't be in here. He close his eyes and slowly died-- he had been dying several times now, but never actually dying...
-=-
He opened his eyes and saw a brown haired girl sitting on a rock. He was in Yuki's secret base. Oh yes, he knew, he'd gladly destroyed it, but Shigure had a reasonable answer. Instead of always going to the nearest market, the garden provided.
"You haven't visited in quite a while, Akito-san."
There was a tone in her voice, a voice of a woman who had just been kissed goodnight by a lover. She was happy...?
She turned to face him and he saw, as she turned, a translucent pair of wings behind her back. She had given up hope for a time, then how come she's so full of joy? Why was she in this place, instead of the dark and empty void?
It was Yuki... this very place threw an aura that it was his.
"I was quite busy hanging onto the life I had left." He replied.
"...Ah I see... Isn't it a wonderful day?" She asked smiling.
Akito didn't want to smiled, although he could alomost feel his mouth itching to curve into one. Her smile was catchy, but not too catchy.
"There's nothing beautiful about it." He replied coldly.
"Is that so? May I ask why?" She asked as she dusted off some dirt from her skirt. Not that it would matter since that dress of hers was utterly dirt proof.
"It's fake. An illusion, a dream" he replied.
She walked over towards him, "A dream? It seems real enough for me." She said.
"Those who believe in their dreams are fools."
She winced, and he slightly grinned. If he can't be happy then no one can. It was his philosophy. This was his belief and his strength. He wasn't happy with the life he had to live, so what gives them the right to enjoy theirs when he was the one dying for them?
"Do you dream of a better life, Akito-san?" She asked walking closer towards him. Hurt was evident in her eyes.
"...What kind of a question is that? That's like asking does life end--?"
"Does it?" She asked cutting him off.
"Of course it does. All things must come to an end."
She looked down, Akito wanted to ask her what it was she was thinking, but he wouldn't concern himself with her. She was just a little sacrifice. Just like him. He knew if it was her, they'd find every way to get her out of this hell hole he had dug her in. Their little precious savior. Disgusting. Revolting. Wrong...
He had tried to break it, break the dammned curse. But, nothing worked, until someone up above actually listened to a dying man's wish. It was miracle and a puzzle. Why now? Why her? There was Yuki they could've taken and held captive here, but it had to be her, Why was that? Was it because she was special? Was it because everyone adores her so much they'd go for the extreme? It may be that, but the Angel and her there was a resemblance in their eyes... there was pain and joy that can be triggered amongst them.
"Then this must come to an end, too." She quietly said.
"Unfortunately so." Akito said coldly.
She looked up at him, "Why...? Why do you hate me so much? Why do you hate your family so much?"
The answer was obvious.
"Hate you? Why? You come walking into the clan and be welcomed, loved and praised. You help them, love them, cry for them, pain for them, and all those returned back with more love and adoration." He said.
"I've done those, even offered my protection and more-- and to recieve back hate? I don't hate them Honda Tohru-san, I simply despise the way their mind and hearts work. You are a stranger, and I am part of the family. They welcome you with arms open wide and welcome you to bask in life under the sun. I on the other hand? They throw me off into the coldest pits of this cruel life and leave me to rot."
She looked at Akito like a wounded animal, "You hate me for that? I don't hurt them or torture them Akito. I-I don't take away their happiness from them just because I'm not--"
"I don't hate them. I don't hurt them nor torture them. I offer protection and a secured life. I give them love. I do not take away their happiness just because I'm not happy-- I..."
He ran out of words, 'What does this girl think of me now?! That I have no excuse? I can go on for ages! I...' He lied to himself. He couldn't go on.
"Akito-san... Do you blame them for this?" She asked.
Akito turned away from her, "I do." He replied, and yet again lying to himself because in actuality...
-=-
Yuki fell asleep, a dreamless sleep... was it? In his dream he saw Tohru wearing a white dress, her hair adorned with lily petals and was down. He looked around and saw himself hugging her, then smiling with her.
He smiled at the scene then saw himself leaving her, but as he left he saw a small smile on Tohru's lips.
He woke and sat up. Yuki ran his his hand through his hair, "Could it be a dream?" He asked himself. Yuki stared outside the window which was open. It was already noon, or past noon. He got up and walked towards it to close it. The wind was getting colder now that it's winter. He walked back towards bed where he planned to drift off to sleep once again. But, as he spread his sheets he saw a fresh lily petal laying on his bed.
--"I shouldn't be drowned in my dreams for they are only illusions, and if I drown in them, I may start to begin to live in a fantasy that isn't real.."--
Yuki smiled, "I'm pretty sure this is real... Tohru-san." He said and instead of going back to sleep he tried to flex his right arm.
-=-
Tohru watched Akito search for an answer,
"I don't need to answer your foolish question." He replied and walked away behind the trees and disappeared.
She sighed, "Another close encounter with Akito-san." She whispered to herself. She understood a bit why Akito was like that. Why he was so cold and bitter at a young age. The only reason he was alive was that he has to die. What was the point in being born when you were to die soon? 'I don't know what I can do to help you, Akito-san. But, the first thing you have to do is believe you can pull free from your troubles...'
--"Tohru-kun... be someone who believes... for that will certainly be an encouragement to someone..."--
"I do believe, Okaa-san." She said to herself and walked towards Shigure's house, "...Because truthfully and in actuality... it's nobody's fault."
-=- End of Chapter 9 -=-
Author's Note: I do hope you enjoyed this! If I'm updating later than usual next week or so, blame the damn tests! Yeah they should all burn!! Although that's wasting ALOT of trees... poor trees. So recycle people! @_@ Eh? What am I saying? Anyway, I was really happy with all the reviews I recieved from the last chapter-- you people are great! Your reviews are defenitely confidence boosters! I haven't exactly gone to Fanfiction.net and read some other fics lately since I had Turkey day to spend. So, I'm a bit slow. Lil-Sun-Rei, expect me to read your fic soon!! MWAHAHA! I wonder what happens to Kagura?? Gads I reall have to go read fics!
Review!
animelubber- Thank You! All this is making me soooo happy! Thanks so much! *smiles* AAH! I can't stop smiling! You are such a wonderful person!
Moonmage- What will Shigure do? I'm sorry to say that this chapter doesn't explain what he will do... maybe a little but it won't. So it'll be in the next chapter! This chapter has a lot of stuff... of course words, too! Thanks!
Lil-Sun-Rei- OOOoooOOooh! Lolly! Is it strawberry?! I can get extremely addicted to starwberry anything! Evil cliffhanger are the best aren't they?? BWAHAHA!! ¬_¬ *ahem*
C.B.- Thank you so much for reviewing! Don't worry! Yuki shall remember in this chapter! He WILL! Heh, thank you for reviewing!
Enchanted Crimson Rose- Of course people hate suspense! I hate it, but at the same time LOVE it! n_n I feel so loved! I'm in both favorite lists? I feel loved!! WooOhoO! Thank you for reading my story as well as reviewing it! I feel the same way, but my two favorite are Yuki and Kyo. And I prefer the pairing Yuki and Tohru-- although there's nothing wrong with Kyo/Tohru I just think Yuki and Tohru are more compatible!
TYouhkriu- Shall the Sohmas hate Tohru? Hmmm... let's see in the next chapter! My goodness, Yuki is so loved by you! n_n Thanks!
flaming-river- Thank you for such a comment! I'm not sure if I should be happy that you envy me... there are a lot more people that are WAAAAAAAAAAY skilled than me, but thank you anyways! n_n It's good to hear you're addicted to my story! (Or is it bad? Good for me bad for you I guess)
Thank you for reading and reviewing everyone! I appreciate it ALOT!! Enjoy!
-=-
Chapter 9: Nobody's Fault
Yuki tried to move his right arm. He tried again.
"Dammit." He whispered to himself.
He was moved into Shigure's house now, and just a while ago, Hatori had helped him use his right hand. He tried to hold a glass of water, and it ended up breaking on the floor. He tried to eat with his right hand, and ended up with with food all the table. He saw Kyo smirk for a while, then it disappeared after some time. He wanted to grab the cat's neck and wring the life out of it-- but his stupid arm wasn't working right.
He sighed, as he looked at it, then shook his thoughts away from it. Shigure hasn't been in the house lately and whenever he was-- he looked like he had just seen a ghost of some sort. He looked pale and as if he lacked sleep.
'Something is very ominous about this...' He thought. He was hiding something, and when Hatori did come over, he had spoken with him in the office. Yuki wanted to eavesdrop, but, that was just wrong-- curiousity did kill the cat. He smirked at the passing thought. How he wished right now.
When Hatori came out, he was a bit too quiet. Yuki wondered what happened-- what they talked about.
"I wish my stupid arm would hurry up and heal." Yuki said to himself. He was getting very frustrated, suddenly feeling drowsy he layed himself on his bed.
-=-
Kyo had smirked when he saw how helpless the rat was. 'Serves him right' was the passing thought, then, '...That's kinda cold.'
WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH HIM?! Was he losing his mind? He was ACTUALLY feeling sorry for the RAT?! He shook his head. He had been on the roof ever since Hatori came, he heard a few words exchange between Shigure and Hatori...
--"...it's the journal... you should really read..."--
--"...What?... impossible...there should be... maybe it's another clan..."--
He furrowed his eye brows together, "Journal? What the hell is Shigure reading now?" He asked out loud at no one in particular. He shuddered involuntarily at what he just said. Shigure was such an idiotic pervert. But, why should Hatori read a hentai book? Maybe it's important or something--
Back at the main problem at hand-- FEELING SORRY FOR THE RAT?! He was officially insane. Why should he, when Yuki was pampered all his damn life with everyone adoring his every move? His every word? His every damn breath that he takes? He didn't even see Yuki show some mercy when he's flying through the every door!
His temper went loose, "I shouldn't even be sorry, because I'm the cat. It's his stupid ass fault I'm a cat-- his stupid dumbass fault for everything!"
--"... why do you blame Yuki...? It's not his fault too, you know? He had no choice being born under the year of the rat... and so did you, Kyo.."--
Tohru said those when they were walking back home one day, when Yuki was in some student council meeting. He tried to find an excuse to say to her, "You're wrong! It is his fault!" But, nothing came. Every time he opened his mouth, Tohru would find a way to trap him. She had always tried to tell him this simple message... it was the only message she had always, always tried to say...
-=-
Akito looked around him. He was still on his futon, slowly dying, slowly fading away from the world. His room was dark, and he smelled hate in the air. Hate for what? Hate for his being born just to die. Hate for not living the life he should be living?
They all had it easy on them. They were allowed to live, while he was locked in his own personal cage of terror. 'When will I die? Will I wake tomorrow?' It was all he could think of. He'd often wish he'd die on the very spot where he'd sit or lay upon, so that the endless questions would come to a stop.
They roamed free outside under the sky so blue and they were able to breathe lightly with no real doubts. And him? He roamed under the darkest clouds and breathed heavily with doubts. He shouldn't be in here. He close his eyes and slowly died-- he had been dying several times now, but never actually dying...
-=-
He opened his eyes and saw a brown haired girl sitting on a rock. He was in Yuki's secret base. Oh yes, he knew, he'd gladly destroyed it, but Shigure had a reasonable answer. Instead of always going to the nearest market, the garden provided.
"You haven't visited in quite a while, Akito-san."
There was a tone in her voice, a voice of a woman who had just been kissed goodnight by a lover. She was happy...?
She turned to face him and he saw, as she turned, a translucent pair of wings behind her back. She had given up hope for a time, then how come she's so full of joy? Why was she in this place, instead of the dark and empty void?
It was Yuki... this very place threw an aura that it was his.
"I was quite busy hanging onto the life I had left." He replied.
"...Ah I see... Isn't it a wonderful day?" She asked smiling.
Akito didn't want to smiled, although he could alomost feel his mouth itching to curve into one. Her smile was catchy, but not too catchy.
"There's nothing beautiful about it." He replied coldly.
"Is that so? May I ask why?" She asked as she dusted off some dirt from her skirt. Not that it would matter since that dress of hers was utterly dirt proof.
"It's fake. An illusion, a dream" he replied.
She walked over towards him, "A dream? It seems real enough for me." She said.
"Those who believe in their dreams are fools."
She winced, and he slightly grinned. If he can't be happy then no one can. It was his philosophy. This was his belief and his strength. He wasn't happy with the life he had to live, so what gives them the right to enjoy theirs when he was the one dying for them?
"Do you dream of a better life, Akito-san?" She asked walking closer towards him. Hurt was evident in her eyes.
"...What kind of a question is that? That's like asking does life end--?"
"Does it?" She asked cutting him off.
"Of course it does. All things must come to an end."
She looked down, Akito wanted to ask her what it was she was thinking, but he wouldn't concern himself with her. She was just a little sacrifice. Just like him. He knew if it was her, they'd find every way to get her out of this hell hole he had dug her in. Their little precious savior. Disgusting. Revolting. Wrong...
He had tried to break it, break the dammned curse. But, nothing worked, until someone up above actually listened to a dying man's wish. It was miracle and a puzzle. Why now? Why her? There was Yuki they could've taken and held captive here, but it had to be her, Why was that? Was it because she was special? Was it because everyone adores her so much they'd go for the extreme? It may be that, but the Angel and her there was a resemblance in their eyes... there was pain and joy that can be triggered amongst them.
"Then this must come to an end, too." She quietly said.
"Unfortunately so." Akito said coldly.
She looked up at him, "Why...? Why do you hate me so much? Why do you hate your family so much?"
The answer was obvious.
"Hate you? Why? You come walking into the clan and be welcomed, loved and praised. You help them, love them, cry for them, pain for them, and all those returned back with more love and adoration." He said.
"I've done those, even offered my protection and more-- and to recieve back hate? I don't hate them Honda Tohru-san, I simply despise the way their mind and hearts work. You are a stranger, and I am part of the family. They welcome you with arms open wide and welcome you to bask in life under the sun. I on the other hand? They throw me off into the coldest pits of this cruel life and leave me to rot."
She looked at Akito like a wounded animal, "You hate me for that? I don't hurt them or torture them Akito. I-I don't take away their happiness from them just because I'm not--"
"I don't hate them. I don't hurt them nor torture them. I offer protection and a secured life. I give them love. I do not take away their happiness just because I'm not happy-- I..."
He ran out of words, 'What does this girl think of me now?! That I have no excuse? I can go on for ages! I...' He lied to himself. He couldn't go on.
"Akito-san... Do you blame them for this?" She asked.
Akito turned away from her, "I do." He replied, and yet again lying to himself because in actuality...
-=-
Yuki fell asleep, a dreamless sleep... was it? In his dream he saw Tohru wearing a white dress, her hair adorned with lily petals and was down. He looked around and saw himself hugging her, then smiling with her.
He smiled at the scene then saw himself leaving her, but as he left he saw a small smile on Tohru's lips.
He woke and sat up. Yuki ran his his hand through his hair, "Could it be a dream?" He asked himself. Yuki stared outside the window which was open. It was already noon, or past noon. He got up and walked towards it to close it. The wind was getting colder now that it's winter. He walked back towards bed where he planned to drift off to sleep once again. But, as he spread his sheets he saw a fresh lily petal laying on his bed.
--"I shouldn't be drowned in my dreams for they are only illusions, and if I drown in them, I may start to begin to live in a fantasy that isn't real.."--
Yuki smiled, "I'm pretty sure this is real... Tohru-san." He said and instead of going back to sleep he tried to flex his right arm.
-=-
Tohru watched Akito search for an answer,
"I don't need to answer your foolish question." He replied and walked away behind the trees and disappeared.
She sighed, "Another close encounter with Akito-san." She whispered to herself. She understood a bit why Akito was like that. Why he was so cold and bitter at a young age. The only reason he was alive was that he has to die. What was the point in being born when you were to die soon? 'I don't know what I can do to help you, Akito-san. But, the first thing you have to do is believe you can pull free from your troubles...'
--"Tohru-kun... be someone who believes... for that will certainly be an encouragement to someone..."--
"I do believe, Okaa-san." She said to herself and walked towards Shigure's house, "...Because truthfully and in actuality... it's nobody's fault."
-=- End of Chapter 9 -=-
Author's Note: I do hope you enjoyed this! If I'm updating later than usual next week or so, blame the damn tests! Yeah they should all burn!! Although that's wasting ALOT of trees... poor trees. So recycle people! @_@ Eh? What am I saying? Anyway, I was really happy with all the reviews I recieved from the last chapter-- you people are great! Your reviews are defenitely confidence boosters! I haven't exactly gone to Fanfiction.net and read some other fics lately since I had Turkey day to spend. So, I'm a bit slow. Lil-Sun-Rei, expect me to read your fic soon!! MWAHAHA! I wonder what happens to Kagura?? Gads I reall have to go read fics!
Review!