Just a Girl – Not inadequate
The schoolday had been strenuous, everyone knew she was a mutant, why would she otherwise ride with the goth to school? Obviously not because they were great pals, they were far from it. She had heard the rumors and whispers behind her back, and it hurt. Yesterday, they had seen her as a person, now, they considered her a 'mutie freak'. The rumors about her powers were amusing, however. Some thought she could melt them if they looked her in the eyes, others thought she had some kind of mind control and then there were those who thought she was a vampire like creature, drinking blood and the likes of that.
Marianne had expected it, though, and was jumpy the entire day. Afraid to be alone, thinking someone would get to her, make her lose control. She stuck to the group, but was quiet all day long.
"Like, Marianne, is something wrong?" Kitty asked, outside after school.
"It'll be fine, just a bad day," Marianne smiled at the younger girl, suddenly, she heard someone honk and she looked up to see her brother's pick-up truck.
"Like, go on, I'll tell Rogue your brother will drie you home," Kitty smiled, seeing the eagerness of the girl to go to her brother.
"Thanks Kitty! Bye! I'll see you at dinner!" Marianne thanked the girl before running to her brother.
"Hey M. They treating you all right at the mansion?" Devon grinned broadly at her, had been worried over her the entire day, since his mother's death, he had taken care of his younger sister. Having her move into the mansion had been hard on him, but he knew it was for the better.
"It's great there. I think they can really help me. Mister Logan is going to teach me how to fight, and they're all very nice. Well, Mister Logan is gruff, but Jean says he's always like that. Rogue doesn't like me all that much, Jean says she has issues with trusting people," Marianne clomb into the passenger seat, "the other kids at school don't like it, though. You should hear the rumors."
"They're bothering you? At school?" Devon turned his head sharply to look at her.
"Devon! Road! I really don't wanna die!" Marianne protested against his shift of attention. She let out a reliefed breath as he turned his attention back to the road. "It's not that big of a deal. Just whispering, rumors. Besides, Kitty, Kurt, Amara, Bobby and the others are there and they back me up."
"Why are they teaching you how to fight? I didn't hear anything about fighting, I don't know if I like this Marianne," Devon sped up a little.
"Well, basically it's just self defense. And mister Logan really knows what he is doing. I promise, Devon, I'll show you that you made a good decission. So, what does dad say?" Marianne changed the subject, she didn't want to tell him what professor Xavier had told her what she would do if she would become a member of the X-men.
"He wants to have a talk with the professor, makes sure he's telling the truth. He's coming back this Saturday. I'll pick him up and drive him over," Devon grew silent after that, not really knowing what else to say. He hated that she was a mutant, not because he hated mutants, but because of how other people looked at them, because she was in for a hard life, and that he could do nothing to help it. Her moving into that mansion proved itto him: he couldn't help her, no matter how much he wanted to help her. He was powerless, perhaps, if he had been a mutant, he would have been able to help her.
"I'm Fantasy," Marianne suddenly spoke up and saw Devon look confused at her, "it's my nickname, code name if you please. Almost everyone in the mansion has one. Well, except for Jean and Rogue. Kitty, Jean and Amara helped me pick one."
"It's a very good name, Fantasy, like the sound of that. Well, Fantasy, how is baldy going to help you get control?" Devon smirked.
"Meditation, a lot of meditation. He thinks my power is tied to my emotions, so I have to get them under control. And his name is professor Charles Xavier, he deserves more respect then 'baldy'," she wrinkled her nose to express her distaste in his choice of nicknames, "and Miss Ororo can help me, she has to keep her emotions under control too."
"The one with the white hair? Figured, she looks like an ice queen to me," Devon snorted, knowing he would get on her nerves this way. These people had won Marianne's respect, and she didn't like hearing people talk bad about those who had her respect.
"I'll have you know, Devon Jong, she can kick your ass all the way to where ever dad is and that she is NOT an ice queen. She's a weather witch. She controls the weather," Marianne retorted.
"So, you really like them then, wanna go out for an ice cream?" Devon asked her, Marianne quickly agreed to that, but warning him she had to be at the institute before dinner time, because she had to help make it.
~*Later, in the kitchen at the Institute*~
"But isn't it hard, controlling your emotions? Not being able to get mad at someone even if they deserve it?" Marianne asked the white haired woman standing next to her.
"I will not lie to you, child, it is very difficult, but it is necesary," the weather witch softly smiled at the girl, while carefully watching how she made the dessert, "you know that well. Care to explain how and why?"
"My mom, I wanted to be like her so much. I had her learn me to cook, make clothes, everything. Didn't make me any more of a lady, though. I'm scared, miss Ororo, I live on my emotions, having to keep them under control has always been a problem for me. Devon worries too, he's afraid I'll change with this," Marianne focused her attention on the decorations of the dessert.
"I can understand your worries, child, and I'm afraid that I can't say it won't change you, merely that it could be for the better. And there is no reason to call me 'miss', Marianne," Ororo immediately understood the girl's worries.
"You know, mi... Ororo, you remind me of my mother in many ways, you're even more a lady then she was. But everything here, it makes me feel so... so inadequate. You can all fight, control your powers to some point, and here I come. The girl who can't land a punch if her life depended on it, who couldn't get a hold of herself when her mother died, when her powers manifested and generally fails at controlling that power," Marianne clenched her left fist, "I feal like a freeloader. I want to help, Ororo, I truly want to help, but if I can't be on the team, I don't know how to help."
"You are far from inadequat. You are simply a creature of the heart, and control is difficult for those, there is nothing to be ashamed of. A creature of the heart is often the most honest and giving person one can ever meet, child. And you won't be useless. For one, I heard Hank is searching for someone to train to be a doctor for mutants. Perhaps you would like to talk to him about that," Ororo pur her hand comfortingly on the girl's shoulder.
After that, Marianne didn't speak a word, but smiled up at the older woman. Thanking her for assuring her that she was not useless, not a freeloader, but most of all, not inadequat.
The schoolday had been strenuous, everyone knew she was a mutant, why would she otherwise ride with the goth to school? Obviously not because they were great pals, they were far from it. She had heard the rumors and whispers behind her back, and it hurt. Yesterday, they had seen her as a person, now, they considered her a 'mutie freak'. The rumors about her powers were amusing, however. Some thought she could melt them if they looked her in the eyes, others thought she had some kind of mind control and then there were those who thought she was a vampire like creature, drinking blood and the likes of that.
Marianne had expected it, though, and was jumpy the entire day. Afraid to be alone, thinking someone would get to her, make her lose control. She stuck to the group, but was quiet all day long.
"Like, Marianne, is something wrong?" Kitty asked, outside after school.
"It'll be fine, just a bad day," Marianne smiled at the younger girl, suddenly, she heard someone honk and she looked up to see her brother's pick-up truck.
"Like, go on, I'll tell Rogue your brother will drie you home," Kitty smiled, seeing the eagerness of the girl to go to her brother.
"Thanks Kitty! Bye! I'll see you at dinner!" Marianne thanked the girl before running to her brother.
"Hey M. They treating you all right at the mansion?" Devon grinned broadly at her, had been worried over her the entire day, since his mother's death, he had taken care of his younger sister. Having her move into the mansion had been hard on him, but he knew it was for the better.
"It's great there. I think they can really help me. Mister Logan is going to teach me how to fight, and they're all very nice. Well, Mister Logan is gruff, but Jean says he's always like that. Rogue doesn't like me all that much, Jean says she has issues with trusting people," Marianne clomb into the passenger seat, "the other kids at school don't like it, though. You should hear the rumors."
"They're bothering you? At school?" Devon turned his head sharply to look at her.
"Devon! Road! I really don't wanna die!" Marianne protested against his shift of attention. She let out a reliefed breath as he turned his attention back to the road. "It's not that big of a deal. Just whispering, rumors. Besides, Kitty, Kurt, Amara, Bobby and the others are there and they back me up."
"Why are they teaching you how to fight? I didn't hear anything about fighting, I don't know if I like this Marianne," Devon sped up a little.
"Well, basically it's just self defense. And mister Logan really knows what he is doing. I promise, Devon, I'll show you that you made a good decission. So, what does dad say?" Marianne changed the subject, she didn't want to tell him what professor Xavier had told her what she would do if she would become a member of the X-men.
"He wants to have a talk with the professor, makes sure he's telling the truth. He's coming back this Saturday. I'll pick him up and drive him over," Devon grew silent after that, not really knowing what else to say. He hated that she was a mutant, not because he hated mutants, but because of how other people looked at them, because she was in for a hard life, and that he could do nothing to help it. Her moving into that mansion proved itto him: he couldn't help her, no matter how much he wanted to help her. He was powerless, perhaps, if he had been a mutant, he would have been able to help her.
"I'm Fantasy," Marianne suddenly spoke up and saw Devon look confused at her, "it's my nickname, code name if you please. Almost everyone in the mansion has one. Well, except for Jean and Rogue. Kitty, Jean and Amara helped me pick one."
"It's a very good name, Fantasy, like the sound of that. Well, Fantasy, how is baldy going to help you get control?" Devon smirked.
"Meditation, a lot of meditation. He thinks my power is tied to my emotions, so I have to get them under control. And his name is professor Charles Xavier, he deserves more respect then 'baldy'," she wrinkled her nose to express her distaste in his choice of nicknames, "and Miss Ororo can help me, she has to keep her emotions under control too."
"The one with the white hair? Figured, she looks like an ice queen to me," Devon snorted, knowing he would get on her nerves this way. These people had won Marianne's respect, and she didn't like hearing people talk bad about those who had her respect.
"I'll have you know, Devon Jong, she can kick your ass all the way to where ever dad is and that she is NOT an ice queen. She's a weather witch. She controls the weather," Marianne retorted.
"So, you really like them then, wanna go out for an ice cream?" Devon asked her, Marianne quickly agreed to that, but warning him she had to be at the institute before dinner time, because she had to help make it.
~*Later, in the kitchen at the Institute*~
"But isn't it hard, controlling your emotions? Not being able to get mad at someone even if they deserve it?" Marianne asked the white haired woman standing next to her.
"I will not lie to you, child, it is very difficult, but it is necesary," the weather witch softly smiled at the girl, while carefully watching how she made the dessert, "you know that well. Care to explain how and why?"
"My mom, I wanted to be like her so much. I had her learn me to cook, make clothes, everything. Didn't make me any more of a lady, though. I'm scared, miss Ororo, I live on my emotions, having to keep them under control has always been a problem for me. Devon worries too, he's afraid I'll change with this," Marianne focused her attention on the decorations of the dessert.
"I can understand your worries, child, and I'm afraid that I can't say it won't change you, merely that it could be for the better. And there is no reason to call me 'miss', Marianne," Ororo immediately understood the girl's worries.
"You know, mi... Ororo, you remind me of my mother in many ways, you're even more a lady then she was. But everything here, it makes me feel so... so inadequate. You can all fight, control your powers to some point, and here I come. The girl who can't land a punch if her life depended on it, who couldn't get a hold of herself when her mother died, when her powers manifested and generally fails at controlling that power," Marianne clenched her left fist, "I feal like a freeloader. I want to help, Ororo, I truly want to help, but if I can't be on the team, I don't know how to help."
"You are far from inadequat. You are simply a creature of the heart, and control is difficult for those, there is nothing to be ashamed of. A creature of the heart is often the most honest and giving person one can ever meet, child. And you won't be useless. For one, I heard Hank is searching for someone to train to be a doctor for mutants. Perhaps you would like to talk to him about that," Ororo pur her hand comfortingly on the girl's shoulder.
After that, Marianne didn't speak a word, but smiled up at the older woman. Thanking her for assuring her that she was not useless, not a freeloader, but most of all, not inadequat.