Thank you to the person who told me about that mistake with autism; I didn't know that. Everyone, think of it like this – Heero isn't literally autistic, but the brain damage makes him act somewhat like he is, okay? Good, on with the fic. ^____^

Absolute Zero

Continued

2. Cold

          With a contented sigh, Duo rolled over. He had rested wonderfully, though his dreams had threatened to turn on him without warning. Stretching, his lips spread into a small smile, squeezing his already closed eyes tighter. After the stretch and a brief yawn he opened his violet orbs to take in the sights the room had to offer.
          "Good morning H -." His mouth froze. Stunned he sat up, not believing that what he was seeing could be real. Every inch of the pale lavender colored walls was covered in numbers. The same, bright green ones and zeros reached from side to side, from the floor to the ceiling; they reigned over the entire perimeter of the room. Legs shaking slightly, he pulled back the covers and stood. He moved toward the wall directly across from him in the large bedroom, the carpet dampening his footsteps. The sound of breathing to his right attracted his attention. He turned to see Heero lying on the floor, tracing his hand over the wall.
          "Heero…?" Duo called. The boy ceased his motion then turned to look up at Duo. He said nothing. Duo walked over and squatted next to Heero. He could see that Heero had been in the process of creating the last zero that could fit onto the wall. The Japanese pilot finished off the number as Duo came to the realization that it was he who'd written the rest of it.

          "Hoo boy…" Duo breathed, running a hand through his hair. "I think I'm gonna just take this…" He reached for the highlighter slowly, so as not to upset Heero. Heero let Duo take it from him; he had no use for it any longer. Once again Duo scanned the room. How would he explain all this to Quatre? He swiveled around, his attention caught by the sound of feet pushing a body up the stairs.

          "Duo, I thought I would bring you both breakfast." Quatre called from the hallway. 'Oh man, it's Quatre! I can't let him see all this!!' Duo thought frantically. In a panic he rushed to the door and slammed it shut. Quatre stopped abruptly.

          "Duo, what are you doing?" he inquired. Duo locked the door, leaving sweat on the metal as he did so, and raked his mind for an excuse.

          "Uh…I'm not dressed!" This was true; he was still wearing only his boxers, not having had time to put on anything else. Quatre chuckled lightly.
          "Well Duo, unless you're completely naked, I don't see why I can't come in." Duo thought the words over a moment and tried to come up with a response. He turned to lean against the door and jumped.
          "Geez Heero, don't sneak up on me like that!" Heero only stared blankly at the distressed boy. His inquisitive blue eyes moved passed the American to the door.
          "Duo, are you getting dressed? Just let me in, I've seen you in your night clothes before." Duo winced at the sound of Quatre's voice.
          "Just a minute!" He yelled. He knew he couldn't keep Quatre out forever; that would make him more suspicious than he already was. And seeing how it was Quatre's house, it would probably be easier to just let him see it.

          "Alright, I'll let you in…" Duo told him. "But you ain't gonna like what you see…" Slowly he turned around and unlocked the door. Quatre entered cheerfully.

          "Now, that wasn't so hard was it?" The young blonde moved to set the tray of food down on top of a dresser. Duo watched his body stiffen, his skin paling quickly. He thought for sure Quatre would drop the food but his knuckles became whiter than any other part of his body as he gripped the metal. He pivoted slowly, taking in what Heero had done to his room.

          "Duo…" he breathed. "What is this?!" Duo ran his hand though his messy bed of hair.

          "Well as near as I can figure, it's some sorta computer code." He shrugged as the words left his mouth.

          "D………Did you let him do this?! Weren't you watching him?!"

          "Hey, just hold on one second! Why'd you assume Heero did it?!" Quatre turned and gave Duo a look that said he couldn't believe Duo had really asked him that.

          "Duo, did you think I would assume you went and wrote all over the walls?" Duo took a moment to consider this. Quatre shook his head.

          "Never mind that." he said. Turning back to the walls he added, "What's more important is finding out what it all means…"

          "So ya don't care about the walls?" Duo asked. He sighed, relieved, and broke into a smile. "When I saw you gettin' all tense, I thought you were gonna lose it."

          "Well…I'm a little upset about the walls. The room was just repainted a few days ago." He shot a meaningful look in Duo's direction. "But they can be painted again. Right now I'm more concerned with why Heero would write all of this. And…" He sat the food down and walked slowly toward one of the walls, his hand outstretched. "Look at how…perfect it is. Everything is perfectly aligned in columns and rows." And so it was. Every figure was precisely placed. None of the rows went down too far or up to far; they were all exactly parallel to the line formed by the wall and ceiling. Duo moved next to Quatre.

          "Yeah…I never even noticed!" He scratched his head. "How'd he reach that high?"

          "He must've stood on something…" Looking around Quatre saw a small step ladder. Heero watched them both from Duo's bed. Had he done something wrong? Why were they so interested in what he had drawn? He couldn't understand why it was so important to them. To him it was nothing more than something he'd seen in his mind. One of those visions when he closed his eyes… 'No, don't think about that, no sleep, no sleep, no dreams, don't think about that, not that…' Hands sweating, he pulled his knees to his chest and took deep breaths. 'Don't fall back into the darkness.' he told himself silently.

          "Duo…" Quatre began. "Why don't you take Heero out for a walk while we copy this down? I'll call some one to repaint the room when we're done. Don't worry about your things; I'll have them moved to another room." Duo nodded in agreement with Quatre's suggestion and made for the food that had been cooling on the dresser top. After grabbing a plate, he plopped down on the bed next to Heero.

          "Ya can't expect me to do anything without breakfast, can ya?" Quatre smiled slightly as Duo grinned and dug into the food. It was not long before Duo stopped eating his own meal, having realized that Heero wasn't eating.

          "Hey Heero, ya gonna eat or not? Come on buddy, it's good for ya." Duo offered the other plate to Heero but the other boy made no motion to take it. "Come on, Heero…" Quatre stepped toward Heero.

          "Heero, please eat something. You need energy." Deep blue eyes turned toward Quatre as he approached. Quatre stopped suddenly as their eyes met and a bright light flashed before him. Duo gave him a curious glance.

          "Quatre?" he called. Quatre blinked furiously, trying to re-orient himself.

          "I think -." He stumbled backward as light streaked through his mind once more. "Will you play with me?" The words echoed faintly in his ears. Gingerly he placed a hand on his temple. After a moment he looked up at Heero. The former first pilot was staring silently at a number covered wall, no sign of any emotion on his face.

          "Take him outside when you're done eating. Watch him closely." Duo stared after Quatre in awe as he turned to leave, unaccustomed to hearing his voice in the tone with which he had just spoken.

***

          As he and Heero moved along through the forest surrounding the Winner mansion, birds chirping and animals scurrying about, Duo chattered on about seemingly random things in hopes that Heero was listening and could understand him. Heero trudged slowly behind Duo, his eyes fixed on the damp soil beneath his shoes. He really wasn't enjoying this little stroll. Numerous times he had tripped and stumbled, his mind not quick enough to tell his feet to step over things, but Duo had always been there to catch him. The sensation of the other boy's skin coming in contact with his own was overwhelmingly unnerving. Duo had learned quickly that if he needed to catch Heero he had better let go of him immediately; a couple of faint bruises served as reminders. The first time Duo caught him, Heero had erupted into a fit of wild flailing. One thing was for sure, Heero was still as strong as he had been before the incident. He couldn't understand why Heero hated the contact so much; he acted as though something was trying to crawl under his skin. But even stranger to him was the fact that he always received a small static shock whenever he did touch Heero. Deciding it wasn't worth worrying over he continued to ramble good-naturedly, denying that he stopped thinking about it because he was afraid of the answer.

          After a while, the forest thinned and gave way to a wide open meadow. Here, Duo sat in the grass while Heero wandered a bit.

          "When you're better, you'll be able to get back to your gundam, you know." Heero kneeled in the grass as Duo spoke. "It's still waitin' for ya. Don't listen to Wufei – you know how he is. And don't listen to anybody who tells ya you're not gonna get better. Cuz we both know you are, right Hee-chan?" Heero stood slowly, his hands cupped together, and moved toward Duo. "But in some ways, it's kinda nice havin' ya like this. Usually you get all "I'll kill you" if I call you Hee-chan." He flashed his signature grin. Heero stopped within a foot of Duo and stared down into his hands. Duo got up and peered over the edge of Heero's fingers.

          "What ya got there, Heero?" The boy did not answer but Duo could see for himself what it was. A small, brown mouse was sitting there, trembling like a leaf in the wind. Duo thought for a moment that the mouse's movement was too wild and jerky to be caused by fear. He started to lean closer to get a better look at it but Heero pulled away as soon as he sensed Duo getting too near to his arms. Straightening back up Duo said,

          "I dunno if you'll be able to keep it. You already messed up Quatre's walls, he probably doesn't want a bunch a mouse pies all around the house…" Heero remained silent, staring intently at the ball of fur in his hands. As Duo watched, the mouse slowly began to calm down and after a moment wasn't moving at all. He smiled, won over by the way the mouse seemed to be comforted by Heero.

          "Alright, bring him with us. I'll talk to Quatre – he won't mind a little mouse, eh?" A soft ringing broke the silence. Duo pulled a cell phone from his pocket, opened it, and held it up to his ear.

          "Hello there, you've reached the Maxwell Hotline where we make you hot to the max. Press one if you're a single chick, press two if you're a single chick with a sister, press three if you're a single chick with a sister and a best friend –." Wufei's irate voice cut Duo off.
          "Come back to the safehouse now, baka." A grin spread across Duo's face as Wufei hung up.

          "I'll be there at midnight – wear something 'comfortable'." Laughing quietly, he put the phone away and turned to Heero.

          "Alright buddy, looks like they're ready to have us back." Still staring down at the mouse in his hands, Heero walked toward Duo, ready to follow him back to the safehouse. Duo and his incessant chatter led the way.

***

          It was two in the afternoon when Duo and Heero returned to Quatre's mansion. While Duo ate lunch and the others worked on the code, Heero was left almost completely unattended. Duo tried his best to watch Heero but he soon found himself as caught up in figuring out the code as everyone else. The messy haired boy sat alone in the room adjacent to the one all the others were in and played with his mouse. More accurately, he tried to play with the little creature; no matter what he did, he couldn't get it to move. He looked up as the door opened and Quatre stepped through, looking rather tired. Heero stood as the boy ran a hand through his blonde hair, letting out a sigh as he did so. As Quatre opened a small refrigerator to retrieve some sodas, Heero picked his mouse up and walked over to him. Quatre jumped slightly as he turned, holding the drinks, to find Heero right behind him.

          "Oh Heero," he breathed, smiling slightly. "I didn't know you were in here." He noticed that Heero was staring downward. He lowered his eyes and found what Heero was looking at. "I see you've made a new friend!" Quatre said in as chipper a tone he could muster. "Does he have a name?"
          "…cold…" Heero mumbled. Quatre blinked his aquamarine eyes in confusion.

          "His name is…Cold? That's an odd name for a mouse, don't you think?" Heero shook his head slowly.

          "It's cold…" he said. Quatre nodded, now understanding what Heero was saying.

          "Come with me, I'll get you a jacket." He started to turn to leave but once again Heero shook his head.

          "It's cold…" He held up the mouse so Quatre could see it.

          "Oh, I see." Quatre sat the sodas down and reached up slowly to take the mouse from Heero. "The mouse is cold. Well don't worry, we'll find someplace warm to put him." With a reassuring smile he took the little rodent and began to think of ways to warm it up. But his thoughts kept straying. Something was wrong with this situation. Hesitantly he glanced down at the mouse. If it was cold it should have been shivering but it wasn't moving at all. As far as he could tell it wasn't even breathing. Gently he pulled on one of its legs. The appendage was very stiff; it felt as though it might snap at his touch. Heero glanced anxiously back and forth between the mouse and Quatre's ever more somber face. Quatre saw him and quickly put on a smile.

          "Wait right here Heero, I'll be back in a second!" He strode back into the other room before Heero could respond. The other three pilots looked up at him as he entered.

          "Hey, where're the sodas?" Duo inquired. Looking closer he could see that Quatre was holding Heero's mouse. "Oh uh, sorry man, I meant to tell you -."
          "Heero can't keep this mouse." Quatre stated flatly.

          "Come on Quatre, he's been through a lot and the little guy makes him happy." Duo pleaded. Quatre shook his head.

          "Duo, you don't understand. He can't keep this mouse." This time Quatre's voice was a bit more earnest.

          "Look, I don't see why -."
          "It's dead, Duo!" Quatre hissed. Duo stared at him blankly for a moment before getting out of his seat and moving toward him.

          "How can it be dead? It was alive just a little while ago…"

          "This mouse has been dead for hours. It's already stiff!" Duo nodded after touching the mouse.

          "Well how are we gonna explain it to Heero?"
          "I don't know…I don't know how he'll respond to death now." Wufei snorted quietly.

          "He's in a war. He deals with death everyday."

          "But that was before…the incident…" Quatre protested.

          "Don't try to shelter him from it!" Wufei stood and walked toward Duo. "If you're going to treat him like he's still himself…" he snatched the mouse from Duo.

          "Hey!" Duo exclaimed. Wufei headed for the room Heero was still in.

          "…Then you can't keep him from parts of himself!" Wufei finished. Heero watched them all file in. Wufei held his hand up to Heero's eye level with the mouse on his palm.

          "You see this mouse Heero?" he demanded. Heero stared at the lifeless ball of fur in Wufei's hand. "It's dead. This mouse is dead." Heero blinked a few times.

          "It's cold…" he murmured.

          "It isn't just cold, Heero, it – is – dead. That means it will never move again. It will never run again, it will never eat again, it will never play again – it's dead, Heero. The mouse is dead." The other boys watched warily as Heero took in what Wufei had said. Heero's hands rose, trembling, to take the mouse from Wufei. Wufei turned his hand over, letting the animal fall. Once Heero had the mouse he stared down at it as he had before. But now he saw something new. It was very vague but he could see bits and pieces of it. Instead of a little brown mouse there was a brown puppy. He was carrying it for some reason. There was pain, guilt…he had done something…something wrong… A little girl…a flower… He closed his eyes and tried to will the visions away but they kept coming.  An explosion…the building was falling… no, no that's not what was supposed to happen…she wasn't supposed to die! Heero lifted his head, his face set in a deep scowl, hot tears burning the ends of his eye lashes. Wufei's own dark eyes locked with Heero's and it seemed as though all the information in the world passed through his mind in a split second. His face took on a confused expression. 

          "…Heero…?" His voice was barely above a whisper. Then for no apparent reason his eyes glazed over and he fell forward, unconscious.

          "Whoa…" Duo mumbled. He caught Wufei before he could hit the floor. When he looked at Heero again, the Asian boy was sitting on the floor, eyes fixed on the dead mouse in his hands, rocking back and forth calmly.

          "Come on…" Quatre said, interrupting the silence. "Let's take Wufei somewhere where we can lie him down." He bent down to catch hold of Wufei's legs and helped Duo carry him out of the room. Trowa watched them take Wufei away quietly. His ever observant green eyes turned slowly on the distraught boy. Heero's head swiveled around and Prussian blue met emerald green. Trowa jumped and turned his head back quickly, as though he had just been given a small electric shock. His slightly widened eyes concentrated hard on the floor as he tried to organize his scrambled thoughts. Heero's hate-filled gaze followed him as he shuffled out of the room with two fingers caressing his temple. As soon as Trowa could think clearly again he began to wonder what had shaken him so. Had Heero done that to him? It didn't seem possible but he reminded himself of his own words – Heero wasn't a normal person anymore. Wufei's voice caught his attention. He stopped in the doorway to listen.

          "It happened so fast…" the Chinese boy was saying.

          "What did you see?" Quatre asked.

          "He…shot me." Duo laughed quietly at Wufei's comment.

          "You must've been hallucinating, Wu-man." Wufei shot a glare in Duo's direction.

          "No, I wasn't. It was too real to be a hallucination. He pulled out his gun and shot me!"

          "But Wufei, if you really had been shot, wouldn't you at least be bleeding?" Quatre argued. Wufei's brow furrowed.

          "I know what I saw…but I didn't just see it. I felt it. I felt the bullet go through me!" He placed a hand over his chest where the sensation had been, as if trying to find the place he'd been damaged; the pain of the metal slicing through his heart still lingered, though the wound did not. Trowa spoke up from his position by the door.

          "I saw something too, Wufei." He said. "It even felt real." The fifth pilot tensed, knowing what Trowa was going to say. Trowa stopped him before he could speak.

          "It wasn't real, Wufei." Wufei sighed and resigned. "It wasn't real."

          "Alright, it wasn't real." Wufei began. "So what was it?"

***

          Heero's dark blue eyes opened slowly. He was met with darkness. Why was he back in this place? Why couldn't he escape this place?

          "There's no way out of this place." The tiny voice was too familiar. Hesitantly Heero turned his eyes upon the boy, expecting to see again the horrific slaughter he'd seen before. But the boy was perfectly fine. He wasn't damaged in any way. The child still hid his face behind the ball.

          "What do you mean there's no way out of this place?" Heero received a mysterious giggle in response.

          "There is no way out…" Heero whipped around in the direction the voice came from but saw no one.

          "There is no way…" Again Heero spun around, trying to locate the speaker.

          "No way out…" The boy laughed as Heero turned this way and that trying to find the source of the voice. No way out, no way out, there is no way, there is no...

          "There is no way out of this place." Heero's eyes came to rest on the boy as he repeated what he had first said.

          Duo looked up from the gun he was cleaning. He'd thought Heero had moved. But his eyes told him that the sleeping boy was lying calmly on his bed, his slumber undisturbed. With a dismissive shrug he turned back to the task at hand. He knew he'd need the gun again sooner or later. Preferably sooner; he didn't want to wait too long in making OZ regret what they had done to Heero.

          "Who are you?" Heero demanded, taking a step forward. As he had before, the child turned his back to Heero and began to bounce the ball.

          "Will you play with me?"

          "Why do you keep asking me that? Who are you?"

          "Will you play with me?" Heero shook his head this time.

          "No, not until you tell me who you are." For a moment, the only sound was that of the ball hitting the floor. Then, without warning, the boy spoke.

          "Will you play with me…?" His head turned slightly. "…Heero?" Heero felt himself retreat a step though he had not consciously decided to do so.

          "Heero…" The name echoed inside his head. "Will you play with me, Heero?" His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

          "How do you know my name?" The boy laughed at Heero's question as he turned the remaining distance to face him.

          "Because, Heero…" His mouth twisted into a horrid sneer. "I am you." The blue eyes which had narrowed now widened in disbelief. How could this child be him? Looking closer, he could see that the boy did look like him but…he was wrong. This was not how he had been…he knew it.

          "Heero…" He stepped away, shaking his head. "Because, Heero…" This boy couldn't be him. "I am you, Heero…" It couldn't be true. He knew he wasn't this way. "Because I am you, Heero…" The ground gave way. His body tumbled into the cold, unwelcoming shadows around them. "I – am – you…"

          "HEERO!" Duo seized Heero's shaking body, and tried to wake him. He winced slightly as the familiar static shock that now accompanied touching the disabled boy rippled through his hands. The fit had come on unexpectedly; he had been lying perfectly still one moment and the next he was convulsing wildly. Quatre ran in as foam started to form around Heero's mouth.

          "What happened, Duo?!" He asked frantically. Duo pulled back as Heero's hands grazed his face.

          "Call an ambulance, would ya?!" Quatre nodded briefly and turned to do just that.

          "Come on Heero…" Duo mumbled. "Why do you keep doing this?" The words escaped Heero's mind as the seizure continued and he drifted further into the darkness of his dreams. As he looked on, some men in white lab coats approached the boy. One took him by the hand and led him to a metallic chair covered with wires and plugs. Heero sat up slowly on the new floor he had landed on. The man who had led the child to the chair stood in front of him and talked to him as the others began to connect the wires to his body.

          "What are you doing?" Heero demanded. None of them seemed to hear him. A soft whine went up as the chair reclined. The boy's eyes widened considerably. The man's last words drifted to Heero's ears.

          "This may hurt a little." A loud thump sounded as electricity surged through the tiny body. Heero's hand went to his chest instinctively; a dull ache had arisen there.

          "Alright, charge it up!" One of the paramedics ordered. The defibrillator let out its customary high pitched wail as it began to charge once more. As the ambulance tore down the streets, the paramedics were doing all they could to keep Heero alive. Duo had forced his way into the ambulance with them and the other pilots were taking one of Quatre's cars.

          "Hey, why are you shocking him?! You're only supposed to do that if his heart stops!!" Duo cried. One of the men pushed Duo back with his arm.

          "Look kid, his heart did stop. Now if you want it beating again, I suggest you back off and let us work." Duo nodded and sat back out of the way.

          "Clear!" He watched Heero's motionless body jump as the shock spread through him. The sound of steady beeping filled the tiny mobile room. There was a unanimous sigh.

          "Okay, we have a heartbeat, let's keep it up…" The defibrillator was set aside and an oxygen mask was readied in case it was needed. Sirens broke the silence of the night as the ambulance sped on toward its destination.

          The boy's screams pounded furiously against Heero's eardrums. The men continued their experiment, oblivious to the pain it was causing. Finally, Heero could take it no longer.

          "Stop it!" He yelled. "Stop, now!!" Without thinking he pushed off from the floor and made for the boy. He didn't know why he was acting this way. He had been trained not to let his emotions get in the way of rational thought – hadn't he? Blinking in confusion, he slowed to think. Had he just remembered something? A tortured cry shattered his musings and wonderings. As fast as he could make his legs move, he ran to the chair and began ripping the wires from it with his bare hands. The boy was almost free when he felt hands on his back. The men were trying to stop him. Determined to help the child, he fought against them but there were so many hands, so many, too many, he couldn't fight them all… His skin tingled where wires started to wrap around him.

          The other pilots stared on solemnly as Heero was wheeled away on a stretcher into the emergency ward, thrashing wildly and roaring words that no one could decipher. More and more nurses and doctors accumulated around the stretcher as it went; the few that had started out found him to be more than they could handle.

          "I can't get the IV in his arm! His muscles are too tense!" One of the nurses exclaimed.

          "Keep trying!" A doctor responded. "He's too strong – if we don't get him sedated, we won't be able to help him." He held Heero's arm along with another nurse so that it could be strapped down.

          "He's just a kid!" Yet another nurse cried. "He shouldn't be this strong!"

          "Just look at him – he's well built."

          "Maybe he's another one of those soldiers…do you think so? We've been getting a lot lately." The doctor who had spoken before interrupted them.

          "I don't see a soldier, and I sure as hell don't see an abnormally strong kid. What I see here is someone who needs help, not nurses to question him and not do their jobs!" The two women mumbled apologies and got back to work. Heero continued to kick and yell, fighting off the imaginary enemy from his nightmare.

          "NO!!" More and more cables seized him, coming from every direction. He pulled away, an expression of disgust forming on his face as the ever more numerous hands came in contact with his skin. His body was being pulled down, down into the darkness, down into the hellish pit where all sensation ceased, where he could not see, could not feel, could not think, down to where he was not alive, down to where he was missing, the black hole that had ensnared his memories…He was being swallowed whole.

          "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE ME!!" Summoning all his strength, he lurched forward and was surprised not to feel any resistance. Floating silently, he opened his eyes and stared up at the small light that had somehow penetrated the heavy blanket of shadows. Though he couldn't hear it, all around him people sighed in relief as the sedative began to take effect. With wide eyes he watched a figure glide down to him. Its lengthy hair swirled slowly around its head as it moved, as though it were in water. It smiled at him.

          "You…" Heero breathed. "But you can't be…" A slender finger rose and perched gently on the person's lips. Frozen in disbelief, Heero stared on as the figure landed and started toward him. Its body solidified and he could see that it was wearing all white. Putting its hands in its pockets, it walked to him, still smiling that reassuring smile.

          "Are you…?" He couldn't bring himself to finish the question. A small laugh rose from the stranger's mouth, echoing slightly.

          "I am if you want me to be."

          "But…you're not." Heero shook his head. "No, you can't be – because if you are, you can't be here." Now the newcomer's face took on a more serious expression.

          "Heero," It began. "It doesn't matter who I am, or who you think I am. All that matters is that you know…"

          "That I know what?" Heero inquired.

          "…that you know I am here to help you." Heero's eyes began to close and the figure faded slowly. The doctors and nurses exchanged glances as Heero's head rolled to the side, sleep overcoming his fear, and he murmured,

          "…I know…Two…" One of the nurses scratched her head.

          "What do you think he meant by that?" The doctor stared at Heero for a moment.

          "I have no idea…"