A/N: I'm happy Marianne was so well loved that people are not happy about
her death. D-m-n-w-t! Put away those chinchilla's! On my own defense: I
wrote the chapter and I was at the end like: she died? O, okay, nice to
know. I am a very evil person, so I won't tell if that was the end of
Marianne or not...
Just a Girl – Coping
It was a couple of days after that horrible mission, Devon had been devestated by the news. He had been angry with what had happened, but he hadn't blamed any of them, unlike themselves. They blamed themselves for not getting Marianne out. After two days, Devon had left with Bridget for Canada. He couldn't live somewhere where everything reminded him of Marianne.
The first days had gone by as if it was a dream, or rather a nightmare. The mutants they had saved had all left in order to try and find out if others had remained out of the Genoshians's grasp. Marianne's room was left untouched. Devon didn't want to take anything with him, save for a picture of him and Marianne together.
It was now that they began to realise that it was all far too real: Marianne had died, she wouldn't be coming back. She wouldn't stand in the front door and say it was all a mistake, that she was fine. That hurt, possibly even more then when they had seen the lab explode and realised Marianne hadn't made it out. The daze had passed, and now they were left to try and cope with losing their friend, little sister and confidant.
Xavier had paid for a grave for Marianne, even though they didn't have a body, they still wanted somewhere to be close to her, to talk to her.
Rogue stood in front of the stone, fingers sliding over the engraved words.
//Marianne Jong, beloved daughter, sister, friend.\\
She refused to read the date of birth or date of death, it made it all too real.
//Taking a step to the world unbound Spinning my fantasies all around Freed from the gravital leash I swear the heaven's in my reach\\
It was part of the lyrics from a song from Nightwish, Rogue knew the song, she had picked the lyric with the rest of the girls. It was 'Know Why The Nightingales Sing'.
"Why did this happen? Shadow said ya would come out after him, that he shouldn't worry. Why didn' ya? What happened Marianne? Were ya hurt? Why didn't ya ask for help then? It hurts, ya know, ya weren't supposed ta die, hell, ya weren't even supposed to be hurt," Rogue squatted in front of the stone. It was getting dark, Rogue knew she should be going back, but she just couldn't. She had absorbed Marianne, so she should have Marianne's present, no matter how faint, in her mind. But it wasn't there, or the psyche kept to the background. Yes, she had her memories, but she would be much more content with Marianne's psyche to explain to her what had happened.
"Rogue?" she heard Shadow's voice, "what're you doin' here?"
She noticed how he didn't call her 'doll'. That was the name he used for Marianne, a name that irritated her to no end. It was a name for her and no other, that name had died with Marianne, in the explosion.
"Ah came ta visit Marianne," she replied silently.
"I know I didn't know Marianne for very long, but I do know that if you wanna visit 'r, you shouldn't be here. This is a stone, this has nothing ta do with 'r soul. If you wanna visit 'r, think back ta what ya know of 'r," Shadow squatted next to her, "I'll be leavin' fer a while, get my bearings back."
"Ya're runnin'," Rogue said.
"Yup, that's what I'm good at, accordin' to Marianne. I don't think she ever forgave me fer dumpin' 'r in that city. Come, I'll give ya a ride back to the institute," Shadow held out his hand, "no jokes."
"You're not comin' back?" Rogue looked at him, she already knew the answer: her memories from Marianne of Shadow told her he was not one who dealt well with loss, no matter what kind of loss.
"Nope, already said my goodbyes, the prof. said I'd be welcome to return any time I wanted. I'm thinkin' 'bout goin' very much way south. As in South America south," he tried to make joke about it, but both of them knew better. The USA reminded him too much of the mutant haters that had gotten Marianne killed.
The ride back to the institute was quiet, unsettling. The two of them didn't like eachother, period, however, it was often said that tragedy made a group grow closer. Rogue realised that she and Shadow would never see eye to eye, on anything, if their lives depended on it. He left as soon as she stood in front of the gates, not saying a word.
As she entered the mansion, she saw Logan waiting for her in the hall way.
"Ah know it's passed curfew, just ground meh, 'kay?" Rogue said as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Not today, kid. Go on to the kitchen," he said. The mood at the institute was all out defeated. Even the Brotherhood picked it up, and they had agreed that it would be stupid to mess with the 'X-geeks' at a time like this, under several threats of Lance, who had been the first outside of the mansion to hear what had happened, from Kitty.
Rogue quietly entered the kitchen, the team that had been present at the lab, Logan and Shadow excluded, sat scattered through out the room, brooding, blaming themselves.
"Rogue, where have you been?" Jean was the first to notice.
Rogue surpressed the urge to ignore her, and replied: "Cemetary."
A uncomfortable silence decended upon the group again as Rogue took her seat. Kitty silently witnessed what was going on. She didn't like the silence, or them all blaming herself. In her mind, she knew that none of them could have saved Marianne. She still didn't like it, however, nor did she understand it.
"You know, we first met her in that ice-cream parlour," Kitty spoke up, the silence was making her go insane if something didn't happen. They hadn't directly talked about Marianne in all that time, and she wanted to talk, badly.
"First day at school, first hour, she was in mah class, sat down raht next ta meh. Ah didn' lahk 'r," Rogue confessed, "Ah didn' really give 'r a chance, did Ah? Till too late."
"Well, you like, have her in your head," Kitty tried to comfort Rogue, who was looking very down at that realisation..
"No, her psyche didn't stay, she pulled back from meh," Rogue looked down at her hands. Silence decended upon the group.
Kitty highly doubted that Marianne would appreciate them acting like this. No, come to think of it, she mused, Marianne would probably be laughing like there was no tomorrow at their stupidity, or she would feel guilty. It really depended on Marianne's mood, Kitty decided, because Marianne most definately had a mean streak. They had found that out after one particular prank from Bobby, which involved her hair turning a bright purple and Bobby's pink in return. But, ofcourse, she hadn't died her hair over, and after her revenge, Marianne had been able to laugh about it. Luckily for her, it had been that kind of dy that was washed out after three of four times in the shower. Bobby had been given a more permanent version of the dy.
"I wish we knew why she didn't come out," Jean sighed, "Shadow said she had been fine when he took the last one out and she didn't call for help."
"Zhat vill be zhe million dollar question," Kurt sighed.
"She could have been hurt on her way out," Scott kept his eyes fixed upon the table. He was still blaming himself, like everyone. And, to be honest, Rogue seriously was getting pissed about the whole attitude. She had Marianne's memories, and she knew that she did not like someone blaming themselves over something she did.
"Ah don' think Marianne would lahke this very much. We keep on forgettin' that she chose for this. No one forced 'r ta go with us. Hell, she forced us ta let 'r go with us," Rogue looked around, daring anyone to disagree.
"How would you know this, Rogue? You said you don't have her psyche in your head," Jean cocked an eyebrow.
"But Ah have 'r memories. An' believe me when Ah tell ya all, she would personally come ta kick each an' every one of your asses. Ah understand that we lost someone very important to all o' us. But Ah don't understand whah everyone is blaming him or herself. We didn't set the selfdestruction on, we didn't keep mutants fer testin', we all knew the risks, an' we all accepted them. As did Marianne. If anyone of us would've died, would we have wanted the rest ta blame themselves?" Rogue stopped to take a deep breath as she glared at the rest of the team. She knew she hadn't gotten through to them enough to make them stop blaming themselves, of stop her from blaming herself, but perhaps this would be a push in the right direction.
Just a Girl – Coping
It was a couple of days after that horrible mission, Devon had been devestated by the news. He had been angry with what had happened, but he hadn't blamed any of them, unlike themselves. They blamed themselves for not getting Marianne out. After two days, Devon had left with Bridget for Canada. He couldn't live somewhere where everything reminded him of Marianne.
The first days had gone by as if it was a dream, or rather a nightmare. The mutants they had saved had all left in order to try and find out if others had remained out of the Genoshians's grasp. Marianne's room was left untouched. Devon didn't want to take anything with him, save for a picture of him and Marianne together.
It was now that they began to realise that it was all far too real: Marianne had died, she wouldn't be coming back. She wouldn't stand in the front door and say it was all a mistake, that she was fine. That hurt, possibly even more then when they had seen the lab explode and realised Marianne hadn't made it out. The daze had passed, and now they were left to try and cope with losing their friend, little sister and confidant.
Xavier had paid for a grave for Marianne, even though they didn't have a body, they still wanted somewhere to be close to her, to talk to her.
Rogue stood in front of the stone, fingers sliding over the engraved words.
//Marianne Jong, beloved daughter, sister, friend.\\
She refused to read the date of birth or date of death, it made it all too real.
//Taking a step to the world unbound Spinning my fantasies all around Freed from the gravital leash I swear the heaven's in my reach\\
It was part of the lyrics from a song from Nightwish, Rogue knew the song, she had picked the lyric with the rest of the girls. It was 'Know Why The Nightingales Sing'.
"Why did this happen? Shadow said ya would come out after him, that he shouldn't worry. Why didn' ya? What happened Marianne? Were ya hurt? Why didn't ya ask for help then? It hurts, ya know, ya weren't supposed ta die, hell, ya weren't even supposed to be hurt," Rogue squatted in front of the stone. It was getting dark, Rogue knew she should be going back, but she just couldn't. She had absorbed Marianne, so she should have Marianne's present, no matter how faint, in her mind. But it wasn't there, or the psyche kept to the background. Yes, she had her memories, but she would be much more content with Marianne's psyche to explain to her what had happened.
"Rogue?" she heard Shadow's voice, "what're you doin' here?"
She noticed how he didn't call her 'doll'. That was the name he used for Marianne, a name that irritated her to no end. It was a name for her and no other, that name had died with Marianne, in the explosion.
"Ah came ta visit Marianne," she replied silently.
"I know I didn't know Marianne for very long, but I do know that if you wanna visit 'r, you shouldn't be here. This is a stone, this has nothing ta do with 'r soul. If you wanna visit 'r, think back ta what ya know of 'r," Shadow squatted next to her, "I'll be leavin' fer a while, get my bearings back."
"Ya're runnin'," Rogue said.
"Yup, that's what I'm good at, accordin' to Marianne. I don't think she ever forgave me fer dumpin' 'r in that city. Come, I'll give ya a ride back to the institute," Shadow held out his hand, "no jokes."
"You're not comin' back?" Rogue looked at him, she already knew the answer: her memories from Marianne of Shadow told her he was not one who dealt well with loss, no matter what kind of loss.
"Nope, already said my goodbyes, the prof. said I'd be welcome to return any time I wanted. I'm thinkin' 'bout goin' very much way south. As in South America south," he tried to make joke about it, but both of them knew better. The USA reminded him too much of the mutant haters that had gotten Marianne killed.
The ride back to the institute was quiet, unsettling. The two of them didn't like eachother, period, however, it was often said that tragedy made a group grow closer. Rogue realised that she and Shadow would never see eye to eye, on anything, if their lives depended on it. He left as soon as she stood in front of the gates, not saying a word.
As she entered the mansion, she saw Logan waiting for her in the hall way.
"Ah know it's passed curfew, just ground meh, 'kay?" Rogue said as he opened his mouth to speak.
"Not today, kid. Go on to the kitchen," he said. The mood at the institute was all out defeated. Even the Brotherhood picked it up, and they had agreed that it would be stupid to mess with the 'X-geeks' at a time like this, under several threats of Lance, who had been the first outside of the mansion to hear what had happened, from Kitty.
Rogue quietly entered the kitchen, the team that had been present at the lab, Logan and Shadow excluded, sat scattered through out the room, brooding, blaming themselves.
"Rogue, where have you been?" Jean was the first to notice.
Rogue surpressed the urge to ignore her, and replied: "Cemetary."
A uncomfortable silence decended upon the group again as Rogue took her seat. Kitty silently witnessed what was going on. She didn't like the silence, or them all blaming herself. In her mind, she knew that none of them could have saved Marianne. She still didn't like it, however, nor did she understand it.
"You know, we first met her in that ice-cream parlour," Kitty spoke up, the silence was making her go insane if something didn't happen. They hadn't directly talked about Marianne in all that time, and she wanted to talk, badly.
"First day at school, first hour, she was in mah class, sat down raht next ta meh. Ah didn' lahk 'r," Rogue confessed, "Ah didn' really give 'r a chance, did Ah? Till too late."
"Well, you like, have her in your head," Kitty tried to comfort Rogue, who was looking very down at that realisation..
"No, her psyche didn't stay, she pulled back from meh," Rogue looked down at her hands. Silence decended upon the group.
Kitty highly doubted that Marianne would appreciate them acting like this. No, come to think of it, she mused, Marianne would probably be laughing like there was no tomorrow at their stupidity, or she would feel guilty. It really depended on Marianne's mood, Kitty decided, because Marianne most definately had a mean streak. They had found that out after one particular prank from Bobby, which involved her hair turning a bright purple and Bobby's pink in return. But, ofcourse, she hadn't died her hair over, and after her revenge, Marianne had been able to laugh about it. Luckily for her, it had been that kind of dy that was washed out after three of four times in the shower. Bobby had been given a more permanent version of the dy.
"I wish we knew why she didn't come out," Jean sighed, "Shadow said she had been fine when he took the last one out and she didn't call for help."
"Zhat vill be zhe million dollar question," Kurt sighed.
"She could have been hurt on her way out," Scott kept his eyes fixed upon the table. He was still blaming himself, like everyone. And, to be honest, Rogue seriously was getting pissed about the whole attitude. She had Marianne's memories, and she knew that she did not like someone blaming themselves over something she did.
"Ah don' think Marianne would lahke this very much. We keep on forgettin' that she chose for this. No one forced 'r ta go with us. Hell, she forced us ta let 'r go with us," Rogue looked around, daring anyone to disagree.
"How would you know this, Rogue? You said you don't have her psyche in your head," Jean cocked an eyebrow.
"But Ah have 'r memories. An' believe me when Ah tell ya all, she would personally come ta kick each an' every one of your asses. Ah understand that we lost someone very important to all o' us. But Ah don't understand whah everyone is blaming him or herself. We didn't set the selfdestruction on, we didn't keep mutants fer testin', we all knew the risks, an' we all accepted them. As did Marianne. If anyone of us would've died, would we have wanted the rest ta blame themselves?" Rogue stopped to take a deep breath as she glared at the rest of the team. She knew she hadn't gotten through to them enough to make them stop blaming themselves, of stop her from blaming herself, but perhaps this would be a push in the right direction.