The Generation
Chapter 13- Tobias
I sailed over the school searching for Emily. We had decided that since they were closest to home, the All Starz would be brought in next. There were two problems, what order, and how to convince Judy that their participation was a good thing. Me, I thought that since, in the week that the Blade Breakers had joined us, there had been no "David Type" incidences, that we should clear them all first and bring them in at once.
Emily was a definite over achiever. In the first two classes alone she'd gotten back five or so papers. All of them had gotten a perfect score. She was currently in science class and bossing her team around the laboratory like she owned them.
Were I human I would have rolled my eyes. She reminded me of Rachel, always into everything, always leading the way, plowing forward.
Not that she looked like Rachel. Emily had orange/red hair that went to her chin and framed her face. She wore glasses and had eyes that were a sort of teal color. The resemblance was in the way that they carried themselves, confident, aloof, poised for action.
I sailed into the tree near the baseball field next and listened to the other All Starz talking with her. Emily had her finger in Michael's face and glared at him. "You'd better not show off this time Michael. I've told you time and again, and Judy has too, concentrate on the game, not on the simpering airheads fawning at you from the front row! Now get out there and pitch goddess damnit!"
She shoved Michael towards the mound. Jake was carefully planting his feat in just the right position at home plate. //Good luck Jake.// I whispered.
He searched the trees, saw me, and smiled, before getting into position. "SWING BATTA BATTA BATTA!" Michael took a few experimental swings before letting loose a fast ball that would have dented steel.
CRACK! Jake sent it flying back towards the gym but it was... "FOUL BALL!" Steve cried. He was umpire for the day.
//Sorry Jake, I must have cursed you there.//
"KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL JAKE!!" Cassie shouted from the bleachers. "YOU CAN BEAT THIS GUY!!"
"YEAH BIG JAKE!!" Marco mocked. "COME ON JAKE YOU OAF! REMEMBER WHAT I TAUGHT YOU ABOUT FAST BALLS!"
Jake spat, gulped, and took up a new grip on the bat. "You're pretty good!" Michael called to him. "I was team captain in NYC! All you need is to hit it in the right direction!"
"THANKS!" Jake called over.
I heard the girls giggle. "OH WOW! He's cute!"
"Which one? They're both wicked hot!"
Michael grinned out of the corner of his eye. The girls giggled and whispered to each other. And that did it. Michael threw, but he wasn't paying attention to the game anymore. His fast ball had lost its thunder. Jake hit a hard, high home run. With three batters on base, Jake hit a homer! He ran as fast as he could for the first base.
Michael snarled, catching the ball that was thrown to him from outfield. He rocketed it, without stopping to first base. Jake cried out in surprise and slid. Steve sauntered over to examine the situation. "Sorry Mikey, I think he's safe on this one!"
Michael cursed, throwing his hat on the ground. Uht oh. Maybe we shouldn't let this guy in after all. I mean, I knew that the All Starz' tempers were legendary, Steve's most of all, but if this was any indication... Maybe the wouldn't like Jake telling them what to do.
Then, when the game was over, Michael, Eddy, Steve, and Emily came over to Jake and smiled. One by one they shook his hand and said, "Good game."
Michel went last, but he grinned widest of all. "You should be trying out for baseball, not basketball!"
"Thanks, I'll think about that." Jake grinned back at him.
Rachel, Marco, and Cassie came over, thumping Jake on the back.
"Hey man! Nice work!" Marco grinned. "Its not many people that can get under Michael's fast ball."
"You earned his respect." Emily muttered as she passed them, heading for the girl's locker room.
Max walked in silence to the boy's locker room. Was it just me or did he look depressed? It was not at all what I'd expected. I mean, when hearing Elfangor's final testimate, I was so happy. My father, he had seen his missing son! He had given his life and his legacy to me! To me! Tobias! Nobody had trusted me with anything! It was a rosy feeling, MY FATHER DID CARE! I had wanted to scream it to the world!
I had put one in the eye for Visser three! He thought that I was a homeless street punk!
I happily followed Emily out to the locker room. She looked up and saw me circling the school, and then she did something that I took to be a compliment. Emily waved and shouted, "GOOD FLYING WING BROTHER!!!"
I called out to her in response, "TSSSSSSSSEEEEERRRRR!" And turned a circle over the gym.
I waited, and followed her to the nurse's office later that afternoon. I believe that the clinical term is dysmenorhia. Whatever it was, poor Emily was stuck on the nurse's office, moaning in pain. It was just dumb luck when I caught what happened next.
Michael and the English Teacher Mr. Tidwell came leading Max into the room. "I TOLD YOU IT'S JUST A NIGHTMARE!" Max protested angrily. "I fell asleep in class, had a nightmare, and fell out of my chair! That's ALL!"
"I'll call coach." Michael ignored him.
"Whaaaa?" Emily asked. "Can you ask her to take me home too Mike? Tell her I've got the monthly bug."
"I DON'T need to go home!" Max protested. "I'M JUST FINE!"
"You were screaming in your, 'sleep.'" Mr. Tidwell insisted.
//Illim.// That was Mr. Tidwell's yeerk's name. Mr. Tidwell is our insider in the yeerk front. //I know what's going on, more or less, he's one of ours.//
Tidwell blinked. "I think that its safest if you go home, one more outburst like that and you could hurt yourself."
//Do it Max.// I told him. //I'll tell Jake, you stay right there.//
"Alright!" Max capitulated.
I sailed upwards. //Jake! Max collapsed in class! I think he had another one of his flashes! We're just lucky that it was Tidwell and not anybody else! I'm on it! Don't arouse suspicion!//
Jake wrote in the margin of his planner. /Check class./
//I will,// I agreed.
/I'll come by after school./ Jake wrote. /Keep on Max and Emily both!/ Then he erased that note.
//I will!// I said, and sped away.
Nope, the class was in an uproar, but none of them were known controllers. None of them were in the Sharing either. That was a welcome relief. I'd have to explain it to the Blade Breakers. That was my next message. In private thoughtspeak I called down. //Kai, Tyson, Rei, Kenny, Hillary, Max had another one of his flashes in class! Be absolutely careful! We're going to have to keep on our guard for the next couple of days! But don't give away your cover! I'm on him and Emily both! Jake is going to come by after school! You'll have to warn Judy that Jake is coming over, but don't tell her that he's one of us! Marco and I can't come in now that she knows, or guesses what we are! Breaking contact now!//
I sailed back to the tree outside the nurse's office just in time for Judy to pull up the Escalade with the screech of brakes. She ran in, pausing only to sign in before rushing to the nurse's office. I listened. "Thank you Mr. Tidwell, I'll take them both."
"No problem. Emily, are you well enough to get your things or should I have Michael do it?" Mr. Tidwell asked. "Its actually rather convenient for me, now I don't have to call two numbers." He smiled.
"Michael, be a considerate little boy and get my things. Otherwise as soon as I can stand I WILL pound you!" Emily growled.
"Yes miss cheerful." Michael leered back. He left.
I would have rolled my eyes. If Emily were Rachel what did that make Michael? Marco?
I got a head start on Judy by about ten minutes and made it to the house just in time for Judy to tuck both Emily and Max in. She brought Emily a heating pad and some crackers and juice. However, her reaction to Max being sick was almost humorous.
By the time the Blade Breakers and Jake got there Max was almost buried in pillows, stuffed animals, and hot water bottles. He had the thermometer sticking out of his mouth and his glare as Tyson, Kenny, and Hillary giggled at him was almost murderous.
I landed in a tree from which I could watch both Emily and the impromptu meeting. //You're lucky Max. The teacher is a controller spy for us. If it had been Chapman you'd have been down to the yeerk pool before you could say it wasn't me!//
"I don't usually use foul language." Max said, spitting out the thermometer. "But this sucks! I can't even put my head down in class without screaming about viruses and yeerks and Aldrea or Alloran or Dak! I don't even know who these people are!"
//Aldrea and Dak were the leaders of the Hork Bajir army during the Hork Bajir war. And Alloran was infamous for releasing a quantum virus during the last battle on the Hork Bajir world. He's now the host body for the leader of the yeerk invasion of Earth, Visser three.// I explained. //Max, every yeerk knows their names! You have to be really careful!//
"I CAN'T EXACTLY CONTROL IT!" Max protested angrily, sitting straight up in bed. "What am I supposed to do? Stay awake for the rest of my life?"
"Max calm DOWN!" Rei hissed. "Your mother will HEAR you!"
Kai shook his head. "Max, you're staying home until this is resolved, no practice, no nothing, just focus on getting better."
"I AM BETTER!" Max said frantically. "I just want these dreams to stop!" He began to sob in panic. "I sleep and I'm not even me anymore! I'm always somebody else! Always running from a virus, always struggling to demorph before it kills me! Always hurtling through some kind of blank whiteness! I just want it to STOP!"
"Max we can't do anything about it! We know next to nothing about how the morphing technology works!" Jake protested. "Look, I'll ask Ax what he thinks of it, or Ezimili, they'll probably at least know something. But all of you, you have to be careful not to give away your cover!"
//What you saw was from the Hork Bajir War.// I explained. //We know that Judin was in charge there, and that Alloran betrayed her. Aldrea was trapped as a hork bajir. She and the Hork Bajir seer, Dak Hame, had a son named Seerow Hame, after Aldrea's father. Seerow had a son named Jara Hame, the same Jara Hame in the Hork Bajir meadow. Toby Hame is his daughter, the descendant of Aldrea and Dak. She's infamous in the Yeerk Empire. She was named for me. I'm not trying to boast, but I really do strike fear into the hearts of most controllers. And then, of course, there's me. My father was Prince Elfangor. Elfangor spent some time on Earth in Human morph. He was trapped until the Elemist brought him back to the Andilite world and gave him the power to morph back, as well as his own body. Max if you're feeling upset about your mother Judy, just know that you're not alone.// I told him.
Why had I said that? Of course he was alone! He was the only one of the three of us who was having nightmares about our ancestors' battles! Did I have nightmares about Elfangor? Did Toby dream of Aldrea's death, or Seerow's? NO! Neither of us did! Max was new, he didn't have the experience that we did when dealing with Alien legends, history, politics, society! All the things that we knew so well, all the terms that we use every day were completely new to him! Of course he was alone! Of course he wasn't okay!
"Look, Max, I'm not going to lie to you." Jake told him. "We've all been through a lot of shit. And you guys are probably going to have to learn what we did the hard way. We'll tell you as much as we can, but there's still a lot that we don't know."
Max tried to choke back his tears. "I know, I'm trying to be strong." He sniffed. "But... but I mean... this is so weird. My own mother has a secret that she won't let me in on! I trusted her! And now she's hiding from me! But she's NOT an andilite! There's no way she could be an andilite!"
Hillary snorted, Kai rolled his eyes. "Max just be careful!"
"I'll talk to Ax and Ezimili, they're practicing their new morphs now." Jake got up.
Tyson sat down on the bed and pulled Max into his arms, murmuring soft, comforting things to him. Max turned around and snuggled his head against Tyson's chest. None of the other Blade Breakers saw the tears of confusion on his face. But you see, I'm a hawk.
Hawks don't miss much.
I hopped a few levels down to hear Max's mother singing softly while she made dinner.
"Don't be afraid
Close your eyes
Lay it all down
Don't you cry
Can't you see I'm going
Where I can see the sun rise
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that it's alright."
Her voice was so beautiful. I stopped and listened. I'm not sure what I thought at that moment. If I were human, I would have cried. I thought that somehow, listening would give me an insight into this strange, reclusive andilite.
"I've always had to run.
I don't know just why
Desire slowly smoking
Under the midwest sky
But there's something out there
That says I have to try
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that its alright."
/Its not alright Judy./ I thought. /The world needs you. Don't you realize that? How can you stand by and not do anything? Do you think that it protects Max? Do you think that holding him back will keep him from being infested, or killed, when it finally comes down to it?/
"This town thinks I'm crazy
They just think I'm strange
Sometimes they want to own me
Sometimes they wish I'd change"
What species were you thinking of Judin? The andilite society that claims you have two spirits? Or is it human society that you hide from? You wish that you could change too don't you? You wouldn't be a human if you could return to your andilite form would you?
"But I can feel the thunder
Underneath my feet
I sold my soul for freedom
It's lonely but it's sweet."
Well spoken Judin, well sung Judy. Are you like me? Are you content to be what you are? Don't you long, sometimes at least, to run free under the sky? You sold your soul for freedom? Whose? Your's? The Hork Bajir's? Maybe the freedom of this 'Tala' who's life you saved? Did you sell your soul for all of them maybe? If you are so alone, you know the way out. Do you take comfort in our presence? Or are you afraid that the Andilites will take away what is precious to you if you give in to them, to us?
"Don't be afraid
Close your eyes
Lay it all down
Don't you cry
Can't you see I'm going
Where I can see the sun rise
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that it's alright."
It's not all right Judy. It will never be all right. As long as you hide, Max will be tortured, not only by your distrust, by your holding him back, but also by your sad dreams of defeat and despair.
Emily was asleep, being too sick to eat. Jake left shortly before dinner. //Jake, you might want to talk to Ax tonight. There's an alley a few blocks down that the Blade Breakers use to morph in. Why don't you use that?//
"Thanks Tobias." He was alone, so it was all right to talk. "I think I'll use it. Then I'll come back and get my things."
I settled on Emily's windowsill and tucked my head under my wing.
Chapter 13- Tobias
I sailed over the school searching for Emily. We had decided that since they were closest to home, the All Starz would be brought in next. There were two problems, what order, and how to convince Judy that their participation was a good thing. Me, I thought that since, in the week that the Blade Breakers had joined us, there had been no "David Type" incidences, that we should clear them all first and bring them in at once.
Emily was a definite over achiever. In the first two classes alone she'd gotten back five or so papers. All of them had gotten a perfect score. She was currently in science class and bossing her team around the laboratory like she owned them.
Were I human I would have rolled my eyes. She reminded me of Rachel, always into everything, always leading the way, plowing forward.
Not that she looked like Rachel. Emily had orange/red hair that went to her chin and framed her face. She wore glasses and had eyes that were a sort of teal color. The resemblance was in the way that they carried themselves, confident, aloof, poised for action.
I sailed into the tree near the baseball field next and listened to the other All Starz talking with her. Emily had her finger in Michael's face and glared at him. "You'd better not show off this time Michael. I've told you time and again, and Judy has too, concentrate on the game, not on the simpering airheads fawning at you from the front row! Now get out there and pitch goddess damnit!"
She shoved Michael towards the mound. Jake was carefully planting his feat in just the right position at home plate. //Good luck Jake.// I whispered.
He searched the trees, saw me, and smiled, before getting into position. "SWING BATTA BATTA BATTA!" Michael took a few experimental swings before letting loose a fast ball that would have dented steel.
CRACK! Jake sent it flying back towards the gym but it was... "FOUL BALL!" Steve cried. He was umpire for the day.
//Sorry Jake, I must have cursed you there.//
"KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL JAKE!!" Cassie shouted from the bleachers. "YOU CAN BEAT THIS GUY!!"
"YEAH BIG JAKE!!" Marco mocked. "COME ON JAKE YOU OAF! REMEMBER WHAT I TAUGHT YOU ABOUT FAST BALLS!"
Jake spat, gulped, and took up a new grip on the bat. "You're pretty good!" Michael called to him. "I was team captain in NYC! All you need is to hit it in the right direction!"
"THANKS!" Jake called over.
I heard the girls giggle. "OH WOW! He's cute!"
"Which one? They're both wicked hot!"
Michael grinned out of the corner of his eye. The girls giggled and whispered to each other. And that did it. Michael threw, but he wasn't paying attention to the game anymore. His fast ball had lost its thunder. Jake hit a hard, high home run. With three batters on base, Jake hit a homer! He ran as fast as he could for the first base.
Michael snarled, catching the ball that was thrown to him from outfield. He rocketed it, without stopping to first base. Jake cried out in surprise and slid. Steve sauntered over to examine the situation. "Sorry Mikey, I think he's safe on this one!"
Michael cursed, throwing his hat on the ground. Uht oh. Maybe we shouldn't let this guy in after all. I mean, I knew that the All Starz' tempers were legendary, Steve's most of all, but if this was any indication... Maybe the wouldn't like Jake telling them what to do.
Then, when the game was over, Michael, Eddy, Steve, and Emily came over to Jake and smiled. One by one they shook his hand and said, "Good game."
Michel went last, but he grinned widest of all. "You should be trying out for baseball, not basketball!"
"Thanks, I'll think about that." Jake grinned back at him.
Rachel, Marco, and Cassie came over, thumping Jake on the back.
"Hey man! Nice work!" Marco grinned. "Its not many people that can get under Michael's fast ball."
"You earned his respect." Emily muttered as she passed them, heading for the girl's locker room.
Max walked in silence to the boy's locker room. Was it just me or did he look depressed? It was not at all what I'd expected. I mean, when hearing Elfangor's final testimate, I was so happy. My father, he had seen his missing son! He had given his life and his legacy to me! To me! Tobias! Nobody had trusted me with anything! It was a rosy feeling, MY FATHER DID CARE! I had wanted to scream it to the world!
I had put one in the eye for Visser three! He thought that I was a homeless street punk!
I happily followed Emily out to the locker room. She looked up and saw me circling the school, and then she did something that I took to be a compliment. Emily waved and shouted, "GOOD FLYING WING BROTHER!!!"
I called out to her in response, "TSSSSSSSSEEEEERRRRR!" And turned a circle over the gym.
I waited, and followed her to the nurse's office later that afternoon. I believe that the clinical term is dysmenorhia. Whatever it was, poor Emily was stuck on the nurse's office, moaning in pain. It was just dumb luck when I caught what happened next.
Michael and the English Teacher Mr. Tidwell came leading Max into the room. "I TOLD YOU IT'S JUST A NIGHTMARE!" Max protested angrily. "I fell asleep in class, had a nightmare, and fell out of my chair! That's ALL!"
"I'll call coach." Michael ignored him.
"Whaaaa?" Emily asked. "Can you ask her to take me home too Mike? Tell her I've got the monthly bug."
"I DON'T need to go home!" Max protested. "I'M JUST FINE!"
"You were screaming in your, 'sleep.'" Mr. Tidwell insisted.
//Illim.// That was Mr. Tidwell's yeerk's name. Mr. Tidwell is our insider in the yeerk front. //I know what's going on, more or less, he's one of ours.//
Tidwell blinked. "I think that its safest if you go home, one more outburst like that and you could hurt yourself."
//Do it Max.// I told him. //I'll tell Jake, you stay right there.//
"Alright!" Max capitulated.
I sailed upwards. //Jake! Max collapsed in class! I think he had another one of his flashes! We're just lucky that it was Tidwell and not anybody else! I'm on it! Don't arouse suspicion!//
Jake wrote in the margin of his planner. /Check class./
//I will,// I agreed.
/I'll come by after school./ Jake wrote. /Keep on Max and Emily both!/ Then he erased that note.
//I will!// I said, and sped away.
Nope, the class was in an uproar, but none of them were known controllers. None of them were in the Sharing either. That was a welcome relief. I'd have to explain it to the Blade Breakers. That was my next message. In private thoughtspeak I called down. //Kai, Tyson, Rei, Kenny, Hillary, Max had another one of his flashes in class! Be absolutely careful! We're going to have to keep on our guard for the next couple of days! But don't give away your cover! I'm on him and Emily both! Jake is going to come by after school! You'll have to warn Judy that Jake is coming over, but don't tell her that he's one of us! Marco and I can't come in now that she knows, or guesses what we are! Breaking contact now!//
I sailed back to the tree outside the nurse's office just in time for Judy to pull up the Escalade with the screech of brakes. She ran in, pausing only to sign in before rushing to the nurse's office. I listened. "Thank you Mr. Tidwell, I'll take them both."
"No problem. Emily, are you well enough to get your things or should I have Michael do it?" Mr. Tidwell asked. "Its actually rather convenient for me, now I don't have to call two numbers." He smiled.
"Michael, be a considerate little boy and get my things. Otherwise as soon as I can stand I WILL pound you!" Emily growled.
"Yes miss cheerful." Michael leered back. He left.
I would have rolled my eyes. If Emily were Rachel what did that make Michael? Marco?
I got a head start on Judy by about ten minutes and made it to the house just in time for Judy to tuck both Emily and Max in. She brought Emily a heating pad and some crackers and juice. However, her reaction to Max being sick was almost humorous.
By the time the Blade Breakers and Jake got there Max was almost buried in pillows, stuffed animals, and hot water bottles. He had the thermometer sticking out of his mouth and his glare as Tyson, Kenny, and Hillary giggled at him was almost murderous.
I landed in a tree from which I could watch both Emily and the impromptu meeting. //You're lucky Max. The teacher is a controller spy for us. If it had been Chapman you'd have been down to the yeerk pool before you could say it wasn't me!//
"I don't usually use foul language." Max said, spitting out the thermometer. "But this sucks! I can't even put my head down in class without screaming about viruses and yeerks and Aldrea or Alloran or Dak! I don't even know who these people are!"
//Aldrea and Dak were the leaders of the Hork Bajir army during the Hork Bajir war. And Alloran was infamous for releasing a quantum virus during the last battle on the Hork Bajir world. He's now the host body for the leader of the yeerk invasion of Earth, Visser three.// I explained. //Max, every yeerk knows their names! You have to be really careful!//
"I CAN'T EXACTLY CONTROL IT!" Max protested angrily, sitting straight up in bed. "What am I supposed to do? Stay awake for the rest of my life?"
"Max calm DOWN!" Rei hissed. "Your mother will HEAR you!"
Kai shook his head. "Max, you're staying home until this is resolved, no practice, no nothing, just focus on getting better."
"I AM BETTER!" Max said frantically. "I just want these dreams to stop!" He began to sob in panic. "I sleep and I'm not even me anymore! I'm always somebody else! Always running from a virus, always struggling to demorph before it kills me! Always hurtling through some kind of blank whiteness! I just want it to STOP!"
"Max we can't do anything about it! We know next to nothing about how the morphing technology works!" Jake protested. "Look, I'll ask Ax what he thinks of it, or Ezimili, they'll probably at least know something. But all of you, you have to be careful not to give away your cover!"
//What you saw was from the Hork Bajir War.// I explained. //We know that Judin was in charge there, and that Alloran betrayed her. Aldrea was trapped as a hork bajir. She and the Hork Bajir seer, Dak Hame, had a son named Seerow Hame, after Aldrea's father. Seerow had a son named Jara Hame, the same Jara Hame in the Hork Bajir meadow. Toby Hame is his daughter, the descendant of Aldrea and Dak. She's infamous in the Yeerk Empire. She was named for me. I'm not trying to boast, but I really do strike fear into the hearts of most controllers. And then, of course, there's me. My father was Prince Elfangor. Elfangor spent some time on Earth in Human morph. He was trapped until the Elemist brought him back to the Andilite world and gave him the power to morph back, as well as his own body. Max if you're feeling upset about your mother Judy, just know that you're not alone.// I told him.
Why had I said that? Of course he was alone! He was the only one of the three of us who was having nightmares about our ancestors' battles! Did I have nightmares about Elfangor? Did Toby dream of Aldrea's death, or Seerow's? NO! Neither of us did! Max was new, he didn't have the experience that we did when dealing with Alien legends, history, politics, society! All the things that we knew so well, all the terms that we use every day were completely new to him! Of course he was alone! Of course he wasn't okay!
"Look, Max, I'm not going to lie to you." Jake told him. "We've all been through a lot of shit. And you guys are probably going to have to learn what we did the hard way. We'll tell you as much as we can, but there's still a lot that we don't know."
Max tried to choke back his tears. "I know, I'm trying to be strong." He sniffed. "But... but I mean... this is so weird. My own mother has a secret that she won't let me in on! I trusted her! And now she's hiding from me! But she's NOT an andilite! There's no way she could be an andilite!"
Hillary snorted, Kai rolled his eyes. "Max just be careful!"
"I'll talk to Ax and Ezimili, they're practicing their new morphs now." Jake got up.
Tyson sat down on the bed and pulled Max into his arms, murmuring soft, comforting things to him. Max turned around and snuggled his head against Tyson's chest. None of the other Blade Breakers saw the tears of confusion on his face. But you see, I'm a hawk.
Hawks don't miss much.
I hopped a few levels down to hear Max's mother singing softly while she made dinner.
"Don't be afraid
Close your eyes
Lay it all down
Don't you cry
Can't you see I'm going
Where I can see the sun rise
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that it's alright."
Her voice was so beautiful. I stopped and listened. I'm not sure what I thought at that moment. If I were human, I would have cried. I thought that somehow, listening would give me an insight into this strange, reclusive andilite.
"I've always had to run.
I don't know just why
Desire slowly smoking
Under the midwest sky
But there's something out there
That says I have to try
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that its alright."
/Its not alright Judy./ I thought. /The world needs you. Don't you realize that? How can you stand by and not do anything? Do you think that it protects Max? Do you think that holding him back will keep him from being infested, or killed, when it finally comes down to it?/
"This town thinks I'm crazy
They just think I'm strange
Sometimes they want to own me
Sometimes they wish I'd change"
What species were you thinking of Judin? The andilite society that claims you have two spirits? Or is it human society that you hide from? You wish that you could change too don't you? You wouldn't be a human if you could return to your andilite form would you?
"But I can feel the thunder
Underneath my feet
I sold my soul for freedom
It's lonely but it's sweet."
Well spoken Judin, well sung Judy. Are you like me? Are you content to be what you are? Don't you long, sometimes at least, to run free under the sky? You sold your soul for freedom? Whose? Your's? The Hork Bajir's? Maybe the freedom of this 'Tala' who's life you saved? Did you sell your soul for all of them maybe? If you are so alone, you know the way out. Do you take comfort in our presence? Or are you afraid that the Andilites will take away what is precious to you if you give in to them, to us?
"Don't be afraid
Close your eyes
Lay it all down
Don't you cry
Can't you see I'm going
Where I can see the sun rise
I've been talking to my angel
And he said that it's alright."
It's not all right Judy. It will never be all right. As long as you hide, Max will be tortured, not only by your distrust, by your holding him back, but also by your sad dreams of defeat and despair.
Emily was asleep, being too sick to eat. Jake left shortly before dinner. //Jake, you might want to talk to Ax tonight. There's an alley a few blocks down that the Blade Breakers use to morph in. Why don't you use that?//
"Thanks Tobias." He was alone, so it was all right to talk. "I think I'll use it. Then I'll come back and get my things."
I settled on Emily's windowsill and tucked my head under my wing.