disclaimer: neither the characters, nor the bumper sticker, belongs to me. I'm a poor post college student with no job, so suing me would be a waste of time.
author's note: this is an old story, dating back to about 4th season. I jotted it down in a moment of humor after being inordinately proud of myself for knowing what the bumper sticker meant.
summary: Season 4: Xander's on campus, and thwarted by a new foe.
Eschew Obfuscation
by Casix Thistlebane
"Eschew Obfuscation". That's what the bumper sticker said. Xander couldn't tear his eyes away from it. "Eschew Obfuscation". What could it possibly mean? He had to know. But he couldn't ask anyone.... What if it was obvious? He'd look like even more of an idiot.
Maybe it was some sort of religious meaning, like those Jesus fish that Willow was always glaring at. Some obscure Arabic religion, that just one person on the UC Sunnydale campus belonged to, and was proud of. "Come and worship the holy Eschew." No, that didn't sound quite right.
Or perhaps it was a political organization? Eschew Obfuscation. An underground right wing party? Or maybe something like Sein Fein? Crowds of people trapped in a third world country under a fascist regime, chanting "Eschew Obfuscation!" He could very much see that.
"Eschew Obfuscation," he muttered softly to himself. "Es-chew Ob-fuss-cay-shon."
"What was that?" Willow asked, leaning back against the car next to him.
"Er, nothing," Xander replied.
It had to be some sort of announcement, or an order or something. Otherwise, there would be more words on the bumper sticker. Right? Maybe if he tried using it.... No that would only lead to trouble, and further embarrassment.
Then it struck him. Perhaps it was just a clever use of gibberish, to confuse the uninitiated? That must be it. For the life of him, he couldn't make any more sense of the sticker than that. It was obviously put there to make people feel stupid. He suddenly decided he didn't like the sticker. The sticker should die.
But of course, if he did anything to the sticker, then people would see that it frustrated him, and if it did mean something, they'd know that he didn't know.
He'd just have to be more subtle.
He shifted his weight to rest more on the car with the offending sticker. As casually as he could, he lifted his left foot, covered in mud from his cross-country trek to the campus, and placed it over the sticker. He smeared the dirt from side to side, obscuring the message almost completely. He smiled to himself, quite satisfied with what he'd done. No bumper sticker would ever get the best of him.
Life was just so much simpler without confusion.
The End
author's note: this is an old story, dating back to about 4th season. I jotted it down in a moment of humor after being inordinately proud of myself for knowing what the bumper sticker meant.
summary: Season 4: Xander's on campus, and thwarted by a new foe.
Eschew Obfuscation
by Casix Thistlebane
"Eschew Obfuscation". That's what the bumper sticker said. Xander couldn't tear his eyes away from it. "Eschew Obfuscation". What could it possibly mean? He had to know. But he couldn't ask anyone.... What if it was obvious? He'd look like even more of an idiot.
Maybe it was some sort of religious meaning, like those Jesus fish that Willow was always glaring at. Some obscure Arabic religion, that just one person on the UC Sunnydale campus belonged to, and was proud of. "Come and worship the holy Eschew." No, that didn't sound quite right.
Or perhaps it was a political organization? Eschew Obfuscation. An underground right wing party? Or maybe something like Sein Fein? Crowds of people trapped in a third world country under a fascist regime, chanting "Eschew Obfuscation!" He could very much see that.
"Eschew Obfuscation," he muttered softly to himself. "Es-chew Ob-fuss-cay-shon."
"What was that?" Willow asked, leaning back against the car next to him.
"Er, nothing," Xander replied.
It had to be some sort of announcement, or an order or something. Otherwise, there would be more words on the bumper sticker. Right? Maybe if he tried using it.... No that would only lead to trouble, and further embarrassment.
Then it struck him. Perhaps it was just a clever use of gibberish, to confuse the uninitiated? That must be it. For the life of him, he couldn't make any more sense of the sticker than that. It was obviously put there to make people feel stupid. He suddenly decided he didn't like the sticker. The sticker should die.
But of course, if he did anything to the sticker, then people would see that it frustrated him, and if it did mean something, they'd know that he didn't know.
He'd just have to be more subtle.
He shifted his weight to rest more on the car with the offending sticker. As casually as he could, he lifted his left foot, covered in mud from his cross-country trek to the campus, and placed it over the sticker. He smeared the dirt from side to side, obscuring the message almost completely. He smiled to himself, quite satisfied with what he'd done. No bumper sticker would ever get the best of him.
Life was just so much simpler without confusion.
The End