Chapter 1: Mary Sue's Big Secret
It was another year at Hogwarts, and Harry, Hermoine, Ron, and the rest of the Gryffindors (except Neville; he had forgotten to come to dinner) were waiting hungrily for the feast to start after the sorting. "Come on, we're hungry!" yelled Fred.
"I thought Dumbledore was a cold, heartless, bastard, but you sure proved me wrong." Joked Fred, right before Dumbledore hit his spoon and said
"Can I have your attention please. We still have one more student to sort. She is in her 4th year, and is an exchange student from America. Her name is Mary Sue. I hope and expect you to treat her all with care and compassion. I will call her in to be sorted." "Mary Sue, please come in." When she walked in, every single girls jaws dropped in envy and every single guy was drooling. Mary Sue was drop dead gorgeous. She had beautiful, floating blond hair that was slightly curled. She had light periwinkle eyes that glittered. She wore robes of lavender that curved around her body smoothly around her body band showing her shiny tan legs. Her robes gave her cleavage like no tomorrow. She walked like one of those Victoria's Secret models. She sat down on the stool and put the sorting hat on her head with a fashionable tilt.
"Gryffindor" roared the sorting hat and all the Gryffindor boys cheered. (None of the girls cheered and Hermoine looked furious) Ron and Harry were both having dreams of themselves kissing her. While they ate, she just sat there and when Ron asked why she wasn't eating. She said, " I'm to good for fattening food like this. This is fried and disgusting. I can't simply afford to gain any weight! And how rude of you to ask!" Harry thought that was kind of harsh. Mary Sue then said, "You must be Harry potter. You're famous, but nothing compared to me. I have a fan club with over 1000 members. Ha, Beat that Harry nobody." Everyone at the Gryffindor table was beginning to hate her. "Hermoine, your hair is so ugly and unlike mine. You should really think about dyeing it blond and getting plastic surgery to look like me, but I think you may be a hopeless cause! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, They should call you Hermoine the hag!" Mary Sue rudely said. "Dean, your skin is black. When god made you, he said oops, I burned one. And Seamus, you should really get liposuction you fat pig. You're wider than you are tall! Fred and George, the gay twins. Come and see the gay twins! 25 cents a peek, but don't get too close boys, they might kiss you! But me, I'm perfect with no flaws! I'm rich. Ron you're poorer than a hobo in debt! By the end of dinner, they all hated her with great passion. The boys luckily got to go to sleep in a different dormitory than Mary Sue. The next day at breakfast, Harry, Hermoine and Ron talked. " Mary sue is a stuck up, jerk whose personality is worse than a rocks." Said Hermoine.
"Really, I had no idea. I thought Mary Sue was very nice." He stated sarcastically. When they got to Herbology, Mary Sue answered all of Prf. Sprouts question about Mandrakes, Butuboters, and Tentaculas. Professor Sprout then said, "Mary Sue, you are the most smart and able student in this class, (Hermoine gasped) and everyone, especially Hermoine, should be more like you. The rest of the lessons were all the same: Mary Sue got praised, bragged about, and all the teachers frowned at everyone else except her. At about 9 pm, Hermoine walked into the girl' bathroom, and went in to a seemingly empty stall. What she saw was priceless! Mary Sue was standing up peeing, and she was a boy!!! Since Mary Sue didn't see Hermoine, Hermoine conjured a camera out of mid air, took a picture, and left unnoticed. She was shaking with glee! She, Hermoine, had proof that Mary Sue was a boy! She ran up to the Gryffindor dormitory, and yelled the password, "FAIRY LIGHTS!" The portrait opened, and Hermoine rushed up to Harry and Ron to say, "You won't believe what I found out about Mary Sue. Mary Sue is a boy! Here, take this picture and see for yourself!" Sure enough, the picture proved it, and Harry Hermoine, and Ron were all very happy. The next day, Mary Sue's big secret got out, and everyone was teasing her. She ran out of the school, crying hysterically, having learned about Karma.
It was another year at Hogwarts, and Harry, Hermoine, Ron, and the rest of the Gryffindors (except Neville; he had forgotten to come to dinner) were waiting hungrily for the feast to start after the sorting. "Come on, we're hungry!" yelled Fred.
"I thought Dumbledore was a cold, heartless, bastard, but you sure proved me wrong." Joked Fred, right before Dumbledore hit his spoon and said
"Can I have your attention please. We still have one more student to sort. She is in her 4th year, and is an exchange student from America. Her name is Mary Sue. I hope and expect you to treat her all with care and compassion. I will call her in to be sorted." "Mary Sue, please come in." When she walked in, every single girls jaws dropped in envy and every single guy was drooling. Mary Sue was drop dead gorgeous. She had beautiful, floating blond hair that was slightly curled. She had light periwinkle eyes that glittered. She wore robes of lavender that curved around her body smoothly around her body band showing her shiny tan legs. Her robes gave her cleavage like no tomorrow. She walked like one of those Victoria's Secret models. She sat down on the stool and put the sorting hat on her head with a fashionable tilt.
"Gryffindor" roared the sorting hat and all the Gryffindor boys cheered. (None of the girls cheered and Hermoine looked furious) Ron and Harry were both having dreams of themselves kissing her. While they ate, she just sat there and when Ron asked why she wasn't eating. She said, " I'm to good for fattening food like this. This is fried and disgusting. I can't simply afford to gain any weight! And how rude of you to ask!" Harry thought that was kind of harsh. Mary Sue then said, "You must be Harry potter. You're famous, but nothing compared to me. I have a fan club with over 1000 members. Ha, Beat that Harry nobody." Everyone at the Gryffindor table was beginning to hate her. "Hermoine, your hair is so ugly and unlike mine. You should really think about dyeing it blond and getting plastic surgery to look like me, but I think you may be a hopeless cause! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, They should call you Hermoine the hag!" Mary Sue rudely said. "Dean, your skin is black. When god made you, he said oops, I burned one. And Seamus, you should really get liposuction you fat pig. You're wider than you are tall! Fred and George, the gay twins. Come and see the gay twins! 25 cents a peek, but don't get too close boys, they might kiss you! But me, I'm perfect with no flaws! I'm rich. Ron you're poorer than a hobo in debt! By the end of dinner, they all hated her with great passion. The boys luckily got to go to sleep in a different dormitory than Mary Sue. The next day at breakfast, Harry, Hermoine and Ron talked. " Mary sue is a stuck up, jerk whose personality is worse than a rocks." Said Hermoine.
"Really, I had no idea. I thought Mary Sue was very nice." He stated sarcastically. When they got to Herbology, Mary Sue answered all of Prf. Sprouts question about Mandrakes, Butuboters, and Tentaculas. Professor Sprout then said, "Mary Sue, you are the most smart and able student in this class, (Hermoine gasped) and everyone, especially Hermoine, should be more like you. The rest of the lessons were all the same: Mary Sue got praised, bragged about, and all the teachers frowned at everyone else except her. At about 9 pm, Hermoine walked into the girl' bathroom, and went in to a seemingly empty stall. What she saw was priceless! Mary Sue was standing up peeing, and she was a boy!!! Since Mary Sue didn't see Hermoine, Hermoine conjured a camera out of mid air, took a picture, and left unnoticed. She was shaking with glee! She, Hermoine, had proof that Mary Sue was a boy! She ran up to the Gryffindor dormitory, and yelled the password, "FAIRY LIGHTS!" The portrait opened, and Hermoine rushed up to Harry and Ron to say, "You won't believe what I found out about Mary Sue. Mary Sue is a boy! Here, take this picture and see for yourself!" Sure enough, the picture proved it, and Harry Hermoine, and Ron were all very happy. The next day, Mary Sue's big secret got out, and everyone was teasing her. She ran out of the school, crying hysterically, having learned about Karma.