Disclaimer thingie: don't own stuff blah blah, except the rabbit and the tree kangaroo and the fairies and all their stuff, as well as George. And those Fluffy Duckies and Bunnies everyone is talking about! Lets not forget the giraffe. Yes it is ALL MINE HAHAAHHAA!
Chapter 14 – Close Encounters of the Fluffy Kind
It was silent for a short while. That was until the screams. Our 'sane' heroes jumped and were quite upset until Bunny realised that it was just St John pretending to do karate.
"Whaaaaaaaaaha!" he went and made choppy motions with his arm. Then he kicked randomly.
Logan growled and rolled up a sleeve and began to move towards Johnny with bad intentions.
Bunny stopped him. "No, bud. That wouldn't be a particularly good idea. Not with them so close."
"Well I'll just make it quick then."
Bunny shook her head. "I don't think so, they can sense that sorta thing. And you don't want to know what they do to people who hurt one of them."
Logan was surprised. "What you mean that that little f@*kwit is one of 'em now?!"
"Yep. They have a sort of psychic bond with him now. Well its what happens when you let them get into your head." She shrugged.
"So you were tellin' us to block our ears for a good reason then."
"Yes, not just 'cause it was annoying."
"Right."
"Look bub, just 'cause I'm a talking rabbit an' you are in a f@*ken weird place, an' everything is nuts, doesn't mean you can't trust me." Bunny patted Logan reassuringly on the knee. "See I wouldn't grievously hurt or recklessly endanger anyone. Hey don't give me that look! Ok so I might scare or rough someone up a bit, but never badly hurt them. Ok well just enough to stop them or at least slow 'em down a bit. Nothing a few years of rehabilitation and plastic surgery couldn't fix. I wouldn't kill them, lets just leave it at that shall we?" She concluded.
Logan sighed. "I take back that stuff about you being a sick bastard."
"That's all right, hey I'm your Animal Spirit Guide, and we have to be kinda alike in order for me to relate to you. Besides I've done a few things in my past too."
"Monty Pythons Holy Grail." Logan chuckled.
The rabbit looked up at him. "Funny you should say that…"
But Bunny didn't finish. No, Johnny interrupted with a squeal and was silent and Snowy shot over to Bunny and Logan with a single bound. He huddled close to them and shivered. And it seemed he had a good reason too. In the near distance there was a faint quacking.
"Umm… You're the expert mate. Ahh… what's that about?" asked Snowy very nervously.
"It's a diversionary tactic. Basically it's called 'Shock and Awe'." Grunted the Rabbit.
And with those words the quacking faded away into the distance. It became far too quiet.
"Um…" piped up Snowy squeakily. "Shouldn't we take a look at the book boss? Now?"
Bunny slowly shook her head. "I don't need to. I already know what's gonna happen."
"Ha ha… ha, well it's all very well that yew know mate. But what about the rest of us."
"Just try not to end up like him." She replied and motioned to the very expectant Johnny.
He stood and cocked his head from side to side like a dog does when it's listening to its master's voice.
Logan who had been silent for sometime and straining to hear anything that sounded like the supposedly evil ducks and rabbits opened his mouth and uttered those infamous words. And before anyone could stop him either.
"It's quiet, too quiet."
The tree kangaroo nearly fainted, Johnny let out a delighted squeal and the rabbit banged her head against his kneecap and cursed Logan soundly.
"What, did I say something?" he asked confused.
Logan then continued with other words that are too harsh to be allowed into this fanfics PG-13 rating. Mostly this was caused by the many ducks that swooped past his head.
And some of it was directed at what hit him and everyone else when they flew past. Some went into his mouth.
The 'sane' ones ducked for cover.
"What is with th' f@*ken marshmallows?!" He cried.
"Well would you rather it was poo?" Growled the rabbit.
"Poo?"
"What?"
"You said poo."
"I did?'
"Yes."
"Damn it! It's happening!"
"What?" said Logan worriedly.
"Nothing. Forget that I said anything." Replied the rabbit a little too quickly.
Logan narrowed his eyes, he was now highly suspicious.
He would have questioned her further but more bad things happened involving ducks. Like more marshmallows, and innocent everyday objects like logs or rocks suddenly sprouting more ducks with more marshmallows. And then there was the quacking.
Logan swatted a few that had tried to collide with his head, their large fluffy down covered bodies meant that all blows were absorbed and landing were particularly soft. Much like toilet tissue. Seeing that he had failed to dispatch them he decided to use his claws but Bunny grabbed his arm and shouted a warning to him over the cacophony.
"No, don't kill 'em that's the last thing you should do!"
Logan gave her a startled look and then quietly sheathed his claws. The rabbit looked really very serious about it.
And so the assault continued, Logan using fists instead of claws, Bunny delivering vicious kicks and head butts, Snowy doing the kangaroos back home proud by doing the old grabbing them by the throat, biting and giving his opponent several disembowelling kicks to the stomach. None of them were doing much more than winding any of the ducks. Johnny did nothing except show his appreciation for the, well show in front of him by laughing manically and eating marshmallows.
Then as quickly as they appeared, the ducks melted silently back into the bushes.
Our heroes (save Johnny) all stood in the circle that they had formed during all the fighting.
"I feel disorientated and confused, mate." Whimpered Snowy.
"That's what they want you to feel, the bastards!" Snapped Bunny.
Logan grunted, some of those ducks had hurt. Both emotionally and physically. The worst kind.
And Johnny just laughed and ate more marshmallows.
Logan gave him a disgusted look.
"He he he! Have'n' fun are yew?!" He cackled.
"Strangely enough, yes." Logan replied with a smile.
John curious, had to know why. "Why's that mate?"
"Ya do know where those marshmallows came from don' ya?" Logan asked sweetly.
Johnny gave Logan a long look and then spat them out.
"Yum." He muttered quietly.
But Johnny was not down for long. No indeed at that very moment a bunch of small black figures a lot like Bunny leaped out of the bushes.
"Hoooooooorrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaah!"
"Eeeeeeeeyyyyyyahhh!"
"Whaaaachaaa!"
The masked figures landed in a semi-circle and made a series of complicated motions with their limbs, which were called names like Dragon Rears Mighty Head and Laughing Dog Leaves Scene of 'Crime'.
Yes that is right my dear readers!
They were Ninjas!
And they were rabbits!
Very fluffy, fuzzy bunnies, but they were Ninjas!
Which makes them infinitely worse than normal fluffy and fuzzy bunny rabbits!
Chapter 14 – Close Encounters of the Fluffy Kind
It was silent for a short while. That was until the screams. Our 'sane' heroes jumped and were quite upset until Bunny realised that it was just St John pretending to do karate.
"Whaaaaaaaaaha!" he went and made choppy motions with his arm. Then he kicked randomly.
Logan growled and rolled up a sleeve and began to move towards Johnny with bad intentions.
Bunny stopped him. "No, bud. That wouldn't be a particularly good idea. Not with them so close."
"Well I'll just make it quick then."
Bunny shook her head. "I don't think so, they can sense that sorta thing. And you don't want to know what they do to people who hurt one of them."
Logan was surprised. "What you mean that that little f@*kwit is one of 'em now?!"
"Yep. They have a sort of psychic bond with him now. Well its what happens when you let them get into your head." She shrugged.
"So you were tellin' us to block our ears for a good reason then."
"Yes, not just 'cause it was annoying."
"Right."
"Look bub, just 'cause I'm a talking rabbit an' you are in a f@*ken weird place, an' everything is nuts, doesn't mean you can't trust me." Bunny patted Logan reassuringly on the knee. "See I wouldn't grievously hurt or recklessly endanger anyone. Hey don't give me that look! Ok so I might scare or rough someone up a bit, but never badly hurt them. Ok well just enough to stop them or at least slow 'em down a bit. Nothing a few years of rehabilitation and plastic surgery couldn't fix. I wouldn't kill them, lets just leave it at that shall we?" She concluded.
Logan sighed. "I take back that stuff about you being a sick bastard."
"That's all right, hey I'm your Animal Spirit Guide, and we have to be kinda alike in order for me to relate to you. Besides I've done a few things in my past too."
"Monty Pythons Holy Grail." Logan chuckled.
The rabbit looked up at him. "Funny you should say that…"
But Bunny didn't finish. No, Johnny interrupted with a squeal and was silent and Snowy shot over to Bunny and Logan with a single bound. He huddled close to them and shivered. And it seemed he had a good reason too. In the near distance there was a faint quacking.
"Umm… You're the expert mate. Ahh… what's that about?" asked Snowy very nervously.
"It's a diversionary tactic. Basically it's called 'Shock and Awe'." Grunted the Rabbit.
And with those words the quacking faded away into the distance. It became far too quiet.
"Um…" piped up Snowy squeakily. "Shouldn't we take a look at the book boss? Now?"
Bunny slowly shook her head. "I don't need to. I already know what's gonna happen."
"Ha ha… ha, well it's all very well that yew know mate. But what about the rest of us."
"Just try not to end up like him." She replied and motioned to the very expectant Johnny.
He stood and cocked his head from side to side like a dog does when it's listening to its master's voice.
Logan who had been silent for sometime and straining to hear anything that sounded like the supposedly evil ducks and rabbits opened his mouth and uttered those infamous words. And before anyone could stop him either.
"It's quiet, too quiet."
The tree kangaroo nearly fainted, Johnny let out a delighted squeal and the rabbit banged her head against his kneecap and cursed Logan soundly.
"What, did I say something?" he asked confused.
Logan then continued with other words that are too harsh to be allowed into this fanfics PG-13 rating. Mostly this was caused by the many ducks that swooped past his head.
And some of it was directed at what hit him and everyone else when they flew past. Some went into his mouth.
The 'sane' ones ducked for cover.
"What is with th' f@*ken marshmallows?!" He cried.
"Well would you rather it was poo?" Growled the rabbit.
"Poo?"
"What?"
"You said poo."
"I did?'
"Yes."
"Damn it! It's happening!"
"What?" said Logan worriedly.
"Nothing. Forget that I said anything." Replied the rabbit a little too quickly.
Logan narrowed his eyes, he was now highly suspicious.
He would have questioned her further but more bad things happened involving ducks. Like more marshmallows, and innocent everyday objects like logs or rocks suddenly sprouting more ducks with more marshmallows. And then there was the quacking.
Logan swatted a few that had tried to collide with his head, their large fluffy down covered bodies meant that all blows were absorbed and landing were particularly soft. Much like toilet tissue. Seeing that he had failed to dispatch them he decided to use his claws but Bunny grabbed his arm and shouted a warning to him over the cacophony.
"No, don't kill 'em that's the last thing you should do!"
Logan gave her a startled look and then quietly sheathed his claws. The rabbit looked really very serious about it.
And so the assault continued, Logan using fists instead of claws, Bunny delivering vicious kicks and head butts, Snowy doing the kangaroos back home proud by doing the old grabbing them by the throat, biting and giving his opponent several disembowelling kicks to the stomach. None of them were doing much more than winding any of the ducks. Johnny did nothing except show his appreciation for the, well show in front of him by laughing manically and eating marshmallows.
Then as quickly as they appeared, the ducks melted silently back into the bushes.
Our heroes (save Johnny) all stood in the circle that they had formed during all the fighting.
"I feel disorientated and confused, mate." Whimpered Snowy.
"That's what they want you to feel, the bastards!" Snapped Bunny.
Logan grunted, some of those ducks had hurt. Both emotionally and physically. The worst kind.
And Johnny just laughed and ate more marshmallows.
Logan gave him a disgusted look.
"He he he! Have'n' fun are yew?!" He cackled.
"Strangely enough, yes." Logan replied with a smile.
John curious, had to know why. "Why's that mate?"
"Ya do know where those marshmallows came from don' ya?" Logan asked sweetly.
Johnny gave Logan a long look and then spat them out.
"Yum." He muttered quietly.
But Johnny was not down for long. No indeed at that very moment a bunch of small black figures a lot like Bunny leaped out of the bushes.
"Hoooooooorrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaah!"
"Eeeeeeeeyyyyyyahhh!"
"Whaaaachaaa!"
The masked figures landed in a semi-circle and made a series of complicated motions with their limbs, which were called names like Dragon Rears Mighty Head and Laughing Dog Leaves Scene of 'Crime'.
Yes that is right my dear readers!
They were Ninjas!
And they were rabbits!
Very fluffy, fuzzy bunnies, but they were Ninjas!
Which makes them infinitely worse than normal fluffy and fuzzy bunny rabbits!