Holey flying shpizgnats of wonderment! 12 whole reviews for chapter 4
alone!! ROCKABILLY!! *bounces around like a mad-woman* I don't think I can
answer all of them, or even supply witty comments... alas, I am lazy and
there is too much blood in my caffine system.
Taineyah: There is NO plot against pyromaniacs! You're just paranoid... or are you?! *twitch*
Evanescence Kicks Ass: Your welcome! ^-^
Girl Number 1: I'm sorry about Pie-Pie not making much appearance... or none at all... but I'm probably going to write a sequel to this, focussed on the Brother Hood, and Pie-Pie will be there, in abundance... making-out with his mirror...
Goldylokz: YEEEE! *bounces around* Yay! Someone with whom I can bash AMYRO! *takes out her Shiney-Mallet-of-Justice-Thingie and blasts Amara back to Nova Roma* We don't have rage issues, not at all! *glances around suspiciously*
Persona the ITG: Thanks to your generous donation of Compliment Cookies, my ego has pulled through and allowed me to continue. Compliment Cookies... that's fabulotastic... I love it!
Sparkie-The Wateringcan: Okay, first of all, your pen name is AWESOME! It makes me larff! Secondly, I agree. There aren't enough Jonda fics out there. *bangs head on table* It's enough to make me weep.
Ishandahalf: The bunnies are on crack?! Eep! *hugs her Shiney-Mallet-of- Justice-Thingie closer for protection*
General information: Those of you (Goldylokz, GiniaTM) who guess that Simon Williams is based off of the character from Avengers (either Wonder Man or The Vision) YOU ARE CORRECT! YaY!! *huggles* We don't like Simon, and think he deserves to stay dead, and far away from Wanda. We would also like it of Wanda and John got together in Ultimates... that would just make our day. *cries because Evolution's really over*
DISCLAIMER: Did you know that the average disclaimer isn't given enough credit for the hard work they put into every fanfic? I mean, it's unjust how the writers get all of the credit, while the disclaimer is sticking its neck out for them, saving them from lawsuits! Be a friend. Hug your disclaimer today.
*Amieva kicks her disclaimer back into it's cage* You didn't see ANYTHING!
#############################################################
"The first step in finding you magikal center is to sit and meditate for however long it takes..."
"Well, that helps..." Wanda grumbled at the first page of her book. She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bedroom floor, surrounded by burning candles of every shape, colour and size. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath through her nose, and slowly released it through her mouth, like the book had instructed. The tiny flames flickered from the disturbance in the air currents.
She was clutching an athame (a ceremonial dagger) in one hand, and a small pentacle in the other. She was supposed to focus all of her energies on these two objects, to charge them with her essence, her power. This was essential for Wanda to create a bond with the magikal items.
The blade in her hand started to get warmer and warmer as she focussed harder. Her hands began to burn, and something hot was dripping down her arm. Wanda got the panicked feeling that something went wrong. Her eyes snapped open and she gasped.
In her hand, was the wooden handle of her athame, and melted metal smothering her hand and forearm. Wanda threw the object away from her and it crashed into the wall, leaving a small scratch. She opened her other fist to find the pentacle in slightly better shape. It had been bent and warped to conform to the shape of her palm.
"Oh my god..."
~*~
St.John was sprawled across the couch, holding an open sketch-book at arms length, and rotating it. He was wearing a tinfoil hat, and a tee-shirt that said 'Drunk Girls Think I'm Hot.'
The girl in the drawing looked quite realistic, having been drawn from memory. John smirked mischievously. So this was what Petey had been daydreaming about lately. The girl drawing looked to be in mid-giggle. Her sleek hair was pulled up into a tight pony tail with her bangs hanging in front of her face. She was the type John figured Pete would go for, small, bubbly and as sweet as sugar. Now he had something to tease the large Russian about. The very thought of future mischief made him chuckle devilishly.
"Did y'finally figure out you be a hopeless case yet?" a deep voice came from behind the couch.
John whipped around and came face to face with his fellow Acolyte, Gambit. "G'evening t'you too, mate." he said unenthusiastically, still flipping through the stolen sketchpad.
Remy shoved John's socked feet off the end of the couch and replaced them with his sexy Cajun behind (in other words, he sat down... I like being descriptive!). John was forced to sit up and readjust his hat, to keep it from slipping off.
Remy clicked the television on, but turned to assess John's accessories. "Expectin' de mother-ship t'call or somet'in'?" he asked mockingly.
"Laugh if you want, Frenchie, but when the government sends out mutant killing robots, I'll be the only one able to hide from their sensors." (Hurrah for AU! I can do whatever I want!)
Remy muttered something insulting in French, then turned his attention back to the news.
Not being able to argue with the Cajun anymore, John started to become bored again. He flipped his body around so his legs were hooked over the back of the couch, and his head was dangling upside-down above the floor. He pulled the sketchpad in front of his face again, and started to whistle 'My Little Buttercup'.
Remy scowled, and turned back to the inverted pyromaniac who was grasping for attention. Then he noticed what John was investigating. That was Peter's new sketchpad! Pete had been searching frantically for it for the past three hours, and John had it all of this time. "Whatcha got dere?"
"Just lookin' at some sheila that Pete drew. You'd thing he was in love with'er or something!"
Remy reached over and snatched the sketchpad out of his hands.
"HEY! Whatever happened to asking b'fore taking?!"
"Y'forget, mon ami, dat Remy be a master t'ief. He don' need to ask fo' not'in'." Remy flipped through the pages, until he came to a drawing Peter did of Wanda while she was reading. An evil though crossed his mind. "Woo! Remy didn' know petite could bend DAT way!"
"What are you goin' on 'bout now?" John wasn't paying attention to him, but was absorbed in watching a news report on a fire that wiped out half a city block, wishing he could've been there.
"Remy just marvelling at dis here picture dat Petey drew of Maggie's girl. Dat position should be made illegal!"
"WHAT?!" John toppled off the couch, hitting his head and losing his hat in the process.
"I don' know, but Remy be reconsidering de unwritten rule 'bout not datin' yo' bosses daughter! I wonder when Petey had de chance to see de petite like dat..."
John sprung up from the floor and tackled Remy, ripping the sketchbook out of his hands. "Gimme that!" he uncrumpled the page and examined the drawing. It was a very innocent rendering of Wanda, sitting in a large armchair, reading a book, fully clothed. His heart was still beating rapidly from the panic Remy caused him.
"Merde! De last time Remy saw someone jump like dat, Viktor was chasing after one of Jason's illusions!"
"Shut up, Remy!" John scowled, trying to smooth the page out without smudging the pencil. "Petey's going to be pissed when he finds out you wrecked his sketches, pal."
Remy grinned. "Oh contraire, homme. Y'see, I was not de one who stole de book in de first place. Besides, I've seen some o'his other books in worse shape."
Again, John didn't hear him. He was enthralled with the drawing again. It was almost better than staring at a fire.
"Wanda est tres jolie, non?"
"Yeah..."
"Ah, l'amour!"
"Yeah... Wait! What?!" John snapped back to reality. He didn't know a lick of French, aside from "voulez-vous couchez avec moi?'. "What did you just say about Wanda?"
"Look it up." Remy clicked the remote control and silenced the television. He stood up and stretched. "Remy's going to go an' see if Petey is up to a game of tear-off."
John was confused. "What's tear-off?"
Remy smirked. "Stay put, an' we'll teach you."
And with that said, Remy left the room.
Five minutes passed, and John was still sitting still, waiting for someone to explain this strange game to him. Suddenly, Peter thundered into the room, his face was red and contorted in rage.
"Hey, Pete! Didja lose the game or something?" John asked innocently.
A scary grin appeared on Peter's face. "No, little man. We haven't even started game!"
~*~
Wanda blew out the last of the candles and placed the book back on the shelf. "I don't believe it! It actually worked."
Her thoughts were cut off by a high-pitched scream, followed by quick thundering steps, coming closer and closer. Something thumped into her closed door then continued to run. She risked opening her door in time to see John rush up the attic steps with Peter hot on his trail.
A few moments later, Remy came up the steps at a much calmer pace. She stepped into the hall. "Remy? Why is Peter attempting murder?"
Remy chuckled. "Artistic differences." He continued up the stairs.
"Wha-?" there was another holler and a loud crash from above. The ceiling above Wanda's head shook, and bits of debris fell. She sighed. This was the third time this week.
~*~
"This has to be the best day of mah life!" Rogue spun around uncharacteristically. There was one of those huge grins plastered on her face. Y'know, the kind that goes from ear to ear.
"You've been saying that every day for the past week."
"And do we know why the Queen of Darkness is all smiles?" Wanda whispered to Kitty.
Kitty giggled. "Remy got them a spot at a, like, majorly hot concert that coming up!"
"Oh!" Wanda exclaimed, suddenly putting two and two together. "So that's why Remy was out so much and making so many phone calls..."
Rogue squealed. That's right, she SQUEALED! "Do you have any idea what this means?!" she grasped Kitty's hands and started to dance about. "Ah get ta play! Infront of an audience! People are gunna hear ME!"
Kitty looked to Wanda. "I've already heard this at least, like, seven times. What's really cool is, Rogue's band and friends get free backstage passes!"
"What am Ah gunna wear?!"
"When's the concert?" Wanda asked as Rogue rambled to herself.
"Hallowe'en! Isn't that, like, awesome?! I should totally get a date. I mean, Lance was my first boyfriend and all, but I, like, need to move on. There's that big black-haired guy I've noticed a few times... I think his name was Peter?" Kitty trailed off.
"Kitty, aren't you on the dance-committee? There's that Hallowe'en dance coming up..."
"Just because I have to help plan it doesn't mean I have to attend, silly! Besides, I'd rather watch Rogue and the boys than go to some stupid dance with a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders."
"Good point." Wanda laughed. "Count me in!"
Wanda wanted, very badly, to tell Rogue about what she had accomplished the night before, but she just couldn't get to her at the moment. Still, the black-haired goth was quite proud of herself, discovering that she had magikal powers and all.
Besides, Wanda had other things on her mind. There was a rumour going around about Simon asking questions about her.
~*~
John slammed his head on the desk for the fifth time that period. They were having health class instead of their regular gym. This class, they would be taught the finer points of reproduction. And to add insult to injury, the female gym teacher was there to educate the boys about the effects of pregnancy on the female body. They had charts and diagrams, and video clips.
John wanted to die. Oh yeah, this is JUST what he wanted to see before lunch.
"But most importantly boys, it is essential to wear the proper protection during interc-"
John blocked her droning voice out of his mind. He figured if sex was going to be anything like the way they were describing it, he would just die a virgin to save himself the agony and boredom.
"Psst!"
'Stupid drafty windows, letting in all of the cold air...' John grumbled to himself.
"Pssssst!!"
'They should really get that fixed...'
"Hey! Ozzy!" someone behind him hissed in a harsh whisper.
Turning around to look over his shoulder, John inwardly groaned. Simon was trying to get his attention. 'Stupid Wanker...'
"G'day, mate. Crikey this class is hella dull." John said mockingly, but Simon was too thick to realize it. John figured it was safer for his sanity to listen to the teacher instead of whatever stupid Aussie joke Simon had for him.
"-Then the head passes through the cervix, as demonstrated in diagram A.-"
A bunch of the weaker stomached students rushed out of the classroom.
"I wanted to ask you about that Lehnsherr-chick..."
John's head snapped around so quickly, he was lucky he didn't sprain something. Why was Simon inquiring about Wanda? What would 'Wonder Man' possibly want to know about a girl who fancies herself the next mistress of Dracula? "Yeah? What about her?" he grunted, rubbing his sore neck.
"-Followed by the after-flow of placenta-"
Mr. Osbourne, their fearless teacher, paled and excused himself from the lesson.
Simon leaned in closer so that his buddies couldn't hear him. "Is she, y'know, dating anybody?"
John narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "No... b-"
"Great! Thanks buddy!" Simon clapped him on the back the proceeded to converse with his jock-buddies.
"-Mr. Allerdyce..."
John was beginning to feel like a yo-yo. His attention went back to the stout, middle-aged woman with cat's-eye-glasses.
"-Pay attention, Mr. Allerdyce. Now, continuing. Only the strongest of the sperm-cells make it to-"
"Just kill me now..." John's head slammed into his desk for the sixth time in an hour.
~*~
The ever flamboyant Miss. Homlings was doting over her favourite students, as usual, while the rest were left to their own devices. This meant that Rogue, Wanda, along with a few other teens, were being subjected to another one of their crazed teacher's herangs about the wonders of live- theater.
"Only then, can the true nature of the character RISE UP!! And you will SHINE like-"
Wanda was elbowed on her right side. She looked up from her fuzzy white socks and saw Rogue staring at her quizzically. Wanda raised her eyebrows in question. Rogue responded by nudging her head in one direction. Wanda followed Rogue's nudging and turned to see a pair of brilliant blue eyes staring back at her.
SIMON WILLIAMS WAS STARING AT HER?!
Simon smiled the kind of smile that would melt the heart of even the coldest ice queen. Wanda gasped and whipped around again to see Rogue snickering at her. Wanda flipped her off, but the dumb grin on her face took every bit of malice out of the gesture (I think I'm going to be sick...).
After class ended, Wanda found herself in a state of deja vu, collecting her things from the stage and slipping her boots back on, only this time, she was getting a nervous feeling in her stomach, like something was going to happen.
"Ahem..."
Simon was standing behind her, while she was bent over, buckling her boots. Wanda blushed profusely. He was just a little too close for comfort.
"Excuse me, Wendy, right?"
She straightened up again, having calmed her nerves enough to act cool. "Wanda. My name is Wanda."
"Wanda, right... I'll remember that." he had that blasted smirk on his face again! "So, Wanda... I couldn't help but notice how well you played that last scene. It certainly grabbed my attention."
Wanda raised an eyebrow. In her last scene, she was a refrigerator... "Thanks... I'm glad I pulled off a convincing appliance..." (this is a funny story! In my drama class, I was playing this dirty old man who was hitting on old ladies in the park. My teacher said I was quite convincing. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult... Enough babble, on with the story...)
"Yeah, that takes a lot of talent. So anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to go out, this weekend, or something..."
Wanda's heart began to race. 'Oh my god! Simon Williams is asking me out! Simon WILLIAMS!! Asking ME?!' "Holey shit!"
"What?!"
Wanda didn't realize she said the last bit out loud. "Uhh... I meant, sure! I'd love to!"
"This Saturday?"
"Okay!"
"Great! It's a date." he plucked up her hand and pecked it lightly.
Wanda found herself grinning like an idiot as Simon left the room, until the warning bell alerted her, telling her to get her butt to her last class.
###########################################################
I like reviews! Almost as much as I like a statue of a monkey sculpted in cheese. But since it's unlikely I'll get a statue of a monkey sculpted in cheese, you can leave me a review.
May the Glomp Gods smile upon you!
Bai-Bai!
Taineyah: There is NO plot against pyromaniacs! You're just paranoid... or are you?! *twitch*
Evanescence Kicks Ass: Your welcome! ^-^
Girl Number 1: I'm sorry about Pie-Pie not making much appearance... or none at all... but I'm probably going to write a sequel to this, focussed on the Brother Hood, and Pie-Pie will be there, in abundance... making-out with his mirror...
Goldylokz: YEEEE! *bounces around* Yay! Someone with whom I can bash AMYRO! *takes out her Shiney-Mallet-of-Justice-Thingie and blasts Amara back to Nova Roma* We don't have rage issues, not at all! *glances around suspiciously*
Persona the ITG: Thanks to your generous donation of Compliment Cookies, my ego has pulled through and allowed me to continue. Compliment Cookies... that's fabulotastic... I love it!
Sparkie-The Wateringcan: Okay, first of all, your pen name is AWESOME! It makes me larff! Secondly, I agree. There aren't enough Jonda fics out there. *bangs head on table* It's enough to make me weep.
Ishandahalf: The bunnies are on crack?! Eep! *hugs her Shiney-Mallet-of- Justice-Thingie closer for protection*
General information: Those of you (Goldylokz, GiniaTM) who guess that Simon Williams is based off of the character from Avengers (either Wonder Man or The Vision) YOU ARE CORRECT! YaY!! *huggles* We don't like Simon, and think he deserves to stay dead, and far away from Wanda. We would also like it of Wanda and John got together in Ultimates... that would just make our day. *cries because Evolution's really over*
DISCLAIMER: Did you know that the average disclaimer isn't given enough credit for the hard work they put into every fanfic? I mean, it's unjust how the writers get all of the credit, while the disclaimer is sticking its neck out for them, saving them from lawsuits! Be a friend. Hug your disclaimer today.
*Amieva kicks her disclaimer back into it's cage* You didn't see ANYTHING!
#############################################################
"The first step in finding you magikal center is to sit and meditate for however long it takes..."
"Well, that helps..." Wanda grumbled at the first page of her book. She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of her bedroom floor, surrounded by burning candles of every shape, colour and size. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath through her nose, and slowly released it through her mouth, like the book had instructed. The tiny flames flickered from the disturbance in the air currents.
She was clutching an athame (a ceremonial dagger) in one hand, and a small pentacle in the other. She was supposed to focus all of her energies on these two objects, to charge them with her essence, her power. This was essential for Wanda to create a bond with the magikal items.
The blade in her hand started to get warmer and warmer as she focussed harder. Her hands began to burn, and something hot was dripping down her arm. Wanda got the panicked feeling that something went wrong. Her eyes snapped open and she gasped.
In her hand, was the wooden handle of her athame, and melted metal smothering her hand and forearm. Wanda threw the object away from her and it crashed into the wall, leaving a small scratch. She opened her other fist to find the pentacle in slightly better shape. It had been bent and warped to conform to the shape of her palm.
"Oh my god..."
~*~
St.John was sprawled across the couch, holding an open sketch-book at arms length, and rotating it. He was wearing a tinfoil hat, and a tee-shirt that said 'Drunk Girls Think I'm Hot.'
The girl in the drawing looked quite realistic, having been drawn from memory. John smirked mischievously. So this was what Petey had been daydreaming about lately. The girl drawing looked to be in mid-giggle. Her sleek hair was pulled up into a tight pony tail with her bangs hanging in front of her face. She was the type John figured Pete would go for, small, bubbly and as sweet as sugar. Now he had something to tease the large Russian about. The very thought of future mischief made him chuckle devilishly.
"Did y'finally figure out you be a hopeless case yet?" a deep voice came from behind the couch.
John whipped around and came face to face with his fellow Acolyte, Gambit. "G'evening t'you too, mate." he said unenthusiastically, still flipping through the stolen sketchpad.
Remy shoved John's socked feet off the end of the couch and replaced them with his sexy Cajun behind (in other words, he sat down... I like being descriptive!). John was forced to sit up and readjust his hat, to keep it from slipping off.
Remy clicked the television on, but turned to assess John's accessories. "Expectin' de mother-ship t'call or somet'in'?" he asked mockingly.
"Laugh if you want, Frenchie, but when the government sends out mutant killing robots, I'll be the only one able to hide from their sensors." (Hurrah for AU! I can do whatever I want!)
Remy muttered something insulting in French, then turned his attention back to the news.
Not being able to argue with the Cajun anymore, John started to become bored again. He flipped his body around so his legs were hooked over the back of the couch, and his head was dangling upside-down above the floor. He pulled the sketchpad in front of his face again, and started to whistle 'My Little Buttercup'.
Remy scowled, and turned back to the inverted pyromaniac who was grasping for attention. Then he noticed what John was investigating. That was Peter's new sketchpad! Pete had been searching frantically for it for the past three hours, and John had it all of this time. "Whatcha got dere?"
"Just lookin' at some sheila that Pete drew. You'd thing he was in love with'er or something!"
Remy reached over and snatched the sketchpad out of his hands.
"HEY! Whatever happened to asking b'fore taking?!"
"Y'forget, mon ami, dat Remy be a master t'ief. He don' need to ask fo' not'in'." Remy flipped through the pages, until he came to a drawing Peter did of Wanda while she was reading. An evil though crossed his mind. "Woo! Remy didn' know petite could bend DAT way!"
"What are you goin' on 'bout now?" John wasn't paying attention to him, but was absorbed in watching a news report on a fire that wiped out half a city block, wishing he could've been there.
"Remy just marvelling at dis here picture dat Petey drew of Maggie's girl. Dat position should be made illegal!"
"WHAT?!" John toppled off the couch, hitting his head and losing his hat in the process.
"I don' know, but Remy be reconsidering de unwritten rule 'bout not datin' yo' bosses daughter! I wonder when Petey had de chance to see de petite like dat..."
John sprung up from the floor and tackled Remy, ripping the sketchbook out of his hands. "Gimme that!" he uncrumpled the page and examined the drawing. It was a very innocent rendering of Wanda, sitting in a large armchair, reading a book, fully clothed. His heart was still beating rapidly from the panic Remy caused him.
"Merde! De last time Remy saw someone jump like dat, Viktor was chasing after one of Jason's illusions!"
"Shut up, Remy!" John scowled, trying to smooth the page out without smudging the pencil. "Petey's going to be pissed when he finds out you wrecked his sketches, pal."
Remy grinned. "Oh contraire, homme. Y'see, I was not de one who stole de book in de first place. Besides, I've seen some o'his other books in worse shape."
Again, John didn't hear him. He was enthralled with the drawing again. It was almost better than staring at a fire.
"Wanda est tres jolie, non?"
"Yeah..."
"Ah, l'amour!"
"Yeah... Wait! What?!" John snapped back to reality. He didn't know a lick of French, aside from "voulez-vous couchez avec moi?'. "What did you just say about Wanda?"
"Look it up." Remy clicked the remote control and silenced the television. He stood up and stretched. "Remy's going to go an' see if Petey is up to a game of tear-off."
John was confused. "What's tear-off?"
Remy smirked. "Stay put, an' we'll teach you."
And with that said, Remy left the room.
Five minutes passed, and John was still sitting still, waiting for someone to explain this strange game to him. Suddenly, Peter thundered into the room, his face was red and contorted in rage.
"Hey, Pete! Didja lose the game or something?" John asked innocently.
A scary grin appeared on Peter's face. "No, little man. We haven't even started game!"
~*~
Wanda blew out the last of the candles and placed the book back on the shelf. "I don't believe it! It actually worked."
Her thoughts were cut off by a high-pitched scream, followed by quick thundering steps, coming closer and closer. Something thumped into her closed door then continued to run. She risked opening her door in time to see John rush up the attic steps with Peter hot on his trail.
A few moments later, Remy came up the steps at a much calmer pace. She stepped into the hall. "Remy? Why is Peter attempting murder?"
Remy chuckled. "Artistic differences." He continued up the stairs.
"Wha-?" there was another holler and a loud crash from above. The ceiling above Wanda's head shook, and bits of debris fell. She sighed. This was the third time this week.
~*~
"This has to be the best day of mah life!" Rogue spun around uncharacteristically. There was one of those huge grins plastered on her face. Y'know, the kind that goes from ear to ear.
"You've been saying that every day for the past week."
"And do we know why the Queen of Darkness is all smiles?" Wanda whispered to Kitty.
Kitty giggled. "Remy got them a spot at a, like, majorly hot concert that coming up!"
"Oh!" Wanda exclaimed, suddenly putting two and two together. "So that's why Remy was out so much and making so many phone calls..."
Rogue squealed. That's right, she SQUEALED! "Do you have any idea what this means?!" she grasped Kitty's hands and started to dance about. "Ah get ta play! Infront of an audience! People are gunna hear ME!"
Kitty looked to Wanda. "I've already heard this at least, like, seven times. What's really cool is, Rogue's band and friends get free backstage passes!"
"What am Ah gunna wear?!"
"When's the concert?" Wanda asked as Rogue rambled to herself.
"Hallowe'en! Isn't that, like, awesome?! I should totally get a date. I mean, Lance was my first boyfriend and all, but I, like, need to move on. There's that big black-haired guy I've noticed a few times... I think his name was Peter?" Kitty trailed off.
"Kitty, aren't you on the dance-committee? There's that Hallowe'en dance coming up..."
"Just because I have to help plan it doesn't mean I have to attend, silly! Besides, I'd rather watch Rogue and the boys than go to some stupid dance with a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders."
"Good point." Wanda laughed. "Count me in!"
Wanda wanted, very badly, to tell Rogue about what she had accomplished the night before, but she just couldn't get to her at the moment. Still, the black-haired goth was quite proud of herself, discovering that she had magikal powers and all.
Besides, Wanda had other things on her mind. There was a rumour going around about Simon asking questions about her.
~*~
John slammed his head on the desk for the fifth time that period. They were having health class instead of their regular gym. This class, they would be taught the finer points of reproduction. And to add insult to injury, the female gym teacher was there to educate the boys about the effects of pregnancy on the female body. They had charts and diagrams, and video clips.
John wanted to die. Oh yeah, this is JUST what he wanted to see before lunch.
"But most importantly boys, it is essential to wear the proper protection during interc-"
John blocked her droning voice out of his mind. He figured if sex was going to be anything like the way they were describing it, he would just die a virgin to save himself the agony and boredom.
"Psst!"
'Stupid drafty windows, letting in all of the cold air...' John grumbled to himself.
"Pssssst!!"
'They should really get that fixed...'
"Hey! Ozzy!" someone behind him hissed in a harsh whisper.
Turning around to look over his shoulder, John inwardly groaned. Simon was trying to get his attention. 'Stupid Wanker...'
"G'day, mate. Crikey this class is hella dull." John said mockingly, but Simon was too thick to realize it. John figured it was safer for his sanity to listen to the teacher instead of whatever stupid Aussie joke Simon had for him.
"-Then the head passes through the cervix, as demonstrated in diagram A.-"
A bunch of the weaker stomached students rushed out of the classroom.
"I wanted to ask you about that Lehnsherr-chick..."
John's head snapped around so quickly, he was lucky he didn't sprain something. Why was Simon inquiring about Wanda? What would 'Wonder Man' possibly want to know about a girl who fancies herself the next mistress of Dracula? "Yeah? What about her?" he grunted, rubbing his sore neck.
"-Followed by the after-flow of placenta-"
Mr. Osbourne, their fearless teacher, paled and excused himself from the lesson.
Simon leaned in closer so that his buddies couldn't hear him. "Is she, y'know, dating anybody?"
John narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "No... b-"
"Great! Thanks buddy!" Simon clapped him on the back the proceeded to converse with his jock-buddies.
"-Mr. Allerdyce..."
John was beginning to feel like a yo-yo. His attention went back to the stout, middle-aged woman with cat's-eye-glasses.
"-Pay attention, Mr. Allerdyce. Now, continuing. Only the strongest of the sperm-cells make it to-"
"Just kill me now..." John's head slammed into his desk for the sixth time in an hour.
~*~
The ever flamboyant Miss. Homlings was doting over her favourite students, as usual, while the rest were left to their own devices. This meant that Rogue, Wanda, along with a few other teens, were being subjected to another one of their crazed teacher's herangs about the wonders of live- theater.
"Only then, can the true nature of the character RISE UP!! And you will SHINE like-"
Wanda was elbowed on her right side. She looked up from her fuzzy white socks and saw Rogue staring at her quizzically. Wanda raised her eyebrows in question. Rogue responded by nudging her head in one direction. Wanda followed Rogue's nudging and turned to see a pair of brilliant blue eyes staring back at her.
SIMON WILLIAMS WAS STARING AT HER?!
Simon smiled the kind of smile that would melt the heart of even the coldest ice queen. Wanda gasped and whipped around again to see Rogue snickering at her. Wanda flipped her off, but the dumb grin on her face took every bit of malice out of the gesture (I think I'm going to be sick...).
After class ended, Wanda found herself in a state of deja vu, collecting her things from the stage and slipping her boots back on, only this time, she was getting a nervous feeling in her stomach, like something was going to happen.
"Ahem..."
Simon was standing behind her, while she was bent over, buckling her boots. Wanda blushed profusely. He was just a little too close for comfort.
"Excuse me, Wendy, right?"
She straightened up again, having calmed her nerves enough to act cool. "Wanda. My name is Wanda."
"Wanda, right... I'll remember that." he had that blasted smirk on his face again! "So, Wanda... I couldn't help but notice how well you played that last scene. It certainly grabbed my attention."
Wanda raised an eyebrow. In her last scene, she was a refrigerator... "Thanks... I'm glad I pulled off a convincing appliance..." (this is a funny story! In my drama class, I was playing this dirty old man who was hitting on old ladies in the park. My teacher said I was quite convincing. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult... Enough babble, on with the story...)
"Yeah, that takes a lot of talent. So anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to go out, this weekend, or something..."
Wanda's heart began to race. 'Oh my god! Simon Williams is asking me out! Simon WILLIAMS!! Asking ME?!' "Holey shit!"
"What?!"
Wanda didn't realize she said the last bit out loud. "Uhh... I meant, sure! I'd love to!"
"This Saturday?"
"Okay!"
"Great! It's a date." he plucked up her hand and pecked it lightly.
Wanda found herself grinning like an idiot as Simon left the room, until the warning bell alerted her, telling her to get her butt to her last class.
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