Disclaimer: Don't own anything and don't claim to. I'm broke and have accepted it.

"Wesley, did you love others before the shell?" Illyria walked into his room in the middle of the night. For a time-controller, she knew very little about what was appropriate conversation time.

Wesley sat up in bed groggily. "Why are you here? Honestly. We humans need sleep, a need you have lately been confused by."

"I want to know. You mourn greatly for that which you lost. Was she the only one you loved so?" she tilted her head to the side in question.

"Yes." Wesley said without hesitation. "She's the only one I loved like this."

"And her, did she love another so?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Wesley shook his head and tried to wish Fred back. Again, no luck. "Why do you ask?"

She put her fingers up, in a way that always meant Fred's voice was coming. He prepared himself to remember they were just memories and she was gone.

"Maybe it's not so much magical but chemical when two people are attracted. Maybe it's like the DNA knows what it needs and when it finds it, nothing can get in its way. It just takes it" said Fred's voice. (Fred/Gunn quote from "Couplet")

"I've had others like it. I feel...different when these ones come. They're of the same essence, but not the same. It cannot be you she's speaking of." Illyria said with mild confusion.

"Why are you so sure?" Wes said, trying to keep the chill out of his voice.

"These memories are older, less confused. She isn't worried about how it will change. The love is there and that is all she can see. Later, with you, she has the difficulty of bearing foresight and memories. I can only assume, this is from the other memories of you being with the dark and evil one."

"Dark and evil one?" Wesley questioned, then realized. "Oh. You mean Lilah. You make her sound like she was a horrible monster. There was good in her, too. She just forgot it after so long being like she was."

Illyria shrugged. "I have only her memories to go by. This is how she saw her."

"I see." said Wesley.

"You defend her...this "Lilah." Why? She does not seem worth that. Everyone else you are defensive for fights evil, while she, seems to cause evil and relish in it. What makes this one different?"

"She...I wasn't evil when I was around her. I also guess I wanted to save her." he said

"You speak fondly of her." she said.

"I speak as fondly as anyone can of Lilah."

"Did you love anyone as you loved Winifred Burkle?" she questioned.

"You already asked that."

"I ask again. Answer again."

"I haven't loved anything on this whole world or any other like I loved Fred." he said with tears in his eyes.

"Has anyone loved you?"

"What do you mean?"



"Has anyone, but Winifred, loved you like you loved her.

The "no" he wished would come easily out, wouldn't allow itself to be said. If he said it would he be lying? Was Lilah even capable of comprehending and emotion like love? Was there anything left in her to feel that for him? Was she just trying to further herself in the world she wanted by using him as a stepping stone? Or, could she possibly have really loved him?

"Yes." he said finally.

"I see. I am beginning to see why you humans are so constantly muddled. You have many complications of emotions." Illyria began to walk away but turned around. "If it helps, she didn't love you less. The older love was just simpler, not deeper. Goodnight, Wesley. Thank you." she walked out of the room in silence and left him there. She clutched the letter that Wesley never found in her hand. She looked once more at the very bottom reading: Love, Lilah and retaped the signed dollar bill on the back.