Chapter 9 -I'm Confessin' that I love You: Part Two
"Well how do you think he is, he's in bits!" Daniel said across the table
to Nina. "I've been walking around on tippy-toes all week for fear of
setting him off!"
"Oh damn, it's my fault, I convinced him to do it!"
"No, no. He would have done it himself eventually anyway, you just helped
hurry it on!"
"Is he going to be ok?"
"I hope so. He's made so much progress this past year, this really was
the last thing he needed. He'd have been better off had he never met up
with her again! I just hope he doesn't hit the bottle!"
"I haven't seen him this bad over a woman since that Carlye one dumped
him!" Nina said.
"That was bad alright. But I have a feeling this one is going to be
worse."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well he was convinced that she was 'the one'"
"He thought Carlye was the one too. The problem with that boy is when he
falls in love at all he really falls! He loses all sense of reality!"
Nina and Daniel both took a sip of tea.
"Yeuch, honestly, I don't know how you drink this herbal stuff, it's like
drinking grass or something!"
"And how would you know what that's like? You've been drinking way too
much coffee lately anyway, this is better for you. So drink it and shut
up!"
"Yes doctor!" Daniel said in his sarcastic tone.
"Don't you use that tone with me! What I don't understand is what went
wrong. I mean according to Hawkeye they were getting on really well. You
ask me that girl didn't know how lucky she was. She could do a lot worse
than Hawkeye, a lot worse!"
"Yeah!" Daniel agreed.
"Excuse me!" came a voice from the other side of the reception desk.
"Oh what is it? Can't you see we're busy?" Nina snapped.
"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt!"
"Nina! Do we have to have another talk about your customer relations
skills?" Daniel said timidly.
Nina shot Daniel a killer look, then got up and walked casually over to
the desk.
"I'm sorry, how may I help you?" she said in the fakest sounding pleasant
tone she could.
"Could I possibly see the doctor!"
"Of course you may. Just fill out this form and the doctor will be with
you soon!" she smiled as the man took his seat. "How was that?" she
snapped back at Daniel who just threw his eyes to Heaven.
*****************************************************************
Meanwhile, Hawkeye sat at home in the kitchen opposite a bottle of vodka,
listening to the many voices that whizzed through his mind. 'Go ahead,
have a glass, what does it matter now!' was the strongest thought in his
head at that moment. It had been two days and Margaret hadn't called. Not
so much as a call to see if he was alright!
He kept trying to figure out where he had got it so wrong. Maybe it was
the pills? She didn't want to take up with a pill-popper! But he had told
her he wasn't taking them anymore, he had explained everything. She acted
like she understood! Had it all been an act? Was she using him until
someone better came along? No, that didn't sound like Margaret at all.
She wasn't like that! Maybe she just didn't love him! Maybe it was as
simple as that.
In the end he grabbed the bottle of vodka, walked out the back porch and
smashed it off the wall. "I'm not going to give in to you!" he shouted at
the broken shards of glass. He then stormed off in the direction of the
cliffs, he had to get out of the house.
********************************************************************
Back in Boston, Margaret was getting an earful from Carla.
"You what? and you just left him walk away? Are you completely insane?
The best thing that has ever happened to you and you let it walk away!"
"You don't have to yell at me believe me I've been doing enough of that
myself!" Margaret replied as she downed another scotch.
"And he said he'd wait for you?"
"No matter how long he said!"
"And that you were 'it' for him, and that his love would never die?"
"Yep!"
"But you do love him don't you?"
"More than anything!" she cried.
"Margaret, help me out here. It may just be the bourbon but I think I've
lost the plot a bit. The man you love right?"
"Right!"
"Declared his undying love for you right?"
"Right!"
"And you basically told him to go and stuff it?"
"Well when you say it like that you make me sound cruel!" said Margaret,
who was slightly tipsy by now.
"Well it was! What were you thinking? Were you drunk? Were you under the
influence of some kinda mind distorting drug?"
"No!"
"Well then why? It just doesn't make sense!"
"I don't know why!" she cried, "I just got scared!"
"Of what of Hawkeye? You're kidding me right? How could you be scared of
that sweet, wonderful man who cares for you so much that he has willingly
committed himself to a life of celibacy in the off chance you decide to
change your mind and go after him!"
"Stop it, you're making me sound like a crazy woman!"
"Well you are if you let this man get away!"
"I would be wouldn't I? I mean he's my world! I'll never love anyone the
way I love him!"
"Ugh, now you're just getting soppy!" Carla said tossing her eyes.
"I've stuffed up big time haven't I? I don't know what came over me. I
just couldn't say anything. He thinks I was just using him all this time.
Oh Carla, what am I going to do? Face into a life of spinster-dom!" she
slurred.
"There's only one thing to do, you have to go after him!"
"Wha?" Margaret exclaimed.
"You have to go to Crabapple Cave or whatever and find him and tell him!
Say 'Sorry about the other day but I kinda lost control of my mind but
well now I've got it back and would really like to have your children!',
or words to that effect!"
"Yeah, ok, I can do that!" Margaret nodded.
"Right then let's go!"
"What?"
"Come on, right now!"
"No, I can't go right now!"
"What? Why?"
"First I have to go throw up!" Margaret said as she ran for the bathroom.
"Ok, we'll leave it 'till tomorrow then! All we need is for you to get
there and then throw up at his feet! That would not make for a gracious
apology!"
*****************************************************************
Hawkeye was sitting on the sand watching the roll of the tide. It was a
cold day in Crabapple Cove and he sat with his arms tightly wound around
his torso. Nina came up from behind and sat next to him.
"You on a break?" he said without looking.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to know how you were!"
"Interesting thing the tide isn't it?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well think about it, hundreds of waves roll in day after day and not one
of them the same as the last!"
"Fascinating!" she said in her stern sarcastic voice "But I did not come
here to talk waves!"
"Fine then" he said childishly.
"I'm sorry about what happened with Margaret!" she said sincerely.
"So am I!" he retorted.
"At least now you know though!" She said knowing it was a stupid comment
to make.
Hawkeye laughed, "Oh yeah, things are certainly much better now that I
know!"
"And you can finally move on!" she added.
"Humph, there is no moving on Nina. No matter what I'll never shake her.
She will always be a part of me and even if I wanted to I could never
kill the love I have for her, never!"
"If you never kill the love then you'll also never kill the pain."
"So be it! I'm well used to living with pain. But like you said, at least
now I know where I stand! I'll see you later!"
With that he got up, dusted the sand off his jeans and headed back
towards the house.
"Ain't no girl worth that!" Nina said shaking her head as she rose and
made her way back to the office.
*****************************************************************
Margaret got the taxi to drop her right outside the house. She double-
checked the address with the one Hawkeye had scribbled down for her, then
paid the driver and dragged her suitcase up the drive towards the front
door. It had been a lot harder to get there than she had imagined.
Unsurprisingly, few people had ever heard of Crabapple Cove and it took
some time to find a taxi driver that knew the way.
Her palms became sticky the closer she got to the door, she was afraid he
would just slam it shut on her face. She wouldn't blame him if he did,
she had been unforgivably cruel to him. She just hoped he would at least
hear her out, before shutting the door on her!
Hawkeye sure wasn't kidding when he said how beautiful the place was.
Although it was a bitterly cold day she still found the sea a mesmerising
sight. She could already see herself living here, here with Hawkeye!
This is it! She said as she knocked on the door, bracing herself for what
might happen, but nothing happened, no one came.
"Not home. Damn it!" she exclaimed. "Of course!" she said hitting her
head, "He's at work!"
She decided not to wait and headed straight to his workplace. She left
her suitcase by the door and walked back in the direction of town. She
hadn't the foggiest notion of where she was going but someone was bound
to point her in the right direction, after all, everyone here surely knew
the Pierces.
******************************************************************
Nina walked casually back into the office, it was a slow day, so she took
an extended break. Daniel was out on a house call and he need never know.
As she walked in, she noticed a young blonde woman calling over the
reception desk.
"Can I help you?" she asked, immediately noticing that this woman was an
out-of-towner.
"Oh, yes I hope so!" the woman said as she turned around to face Nina.
"I'm looking for a doctor Pierce, can you help me?"
"You're in luck, we happen to have two of them! Would you be interested
in the younger or the older model?" Nina said in her usual sarcastic way.
"Oh" Margaret laughed, "I'm looking for the younger one, ah Benjamin
Franklin!"
Nina raised an eyebrow at the young woman "No one round here ever calls
him that!" she declared, "But you're out of luck, today's his day off!"
"Oh" Margaret said disappointed, "Well can you tell me where he might
be?"
"Not around here anyway that's for sure!" Nina was enjoying toying with
this woman. Suddenly a thought occurred to her, blonde, beautiful, from
out of town, looking for Hawkeye! "You wouldn't be Margaret would you?"
she said slowly.
"Oh yes, yes I am!"
From the look on Nina's face Margaret could tell she was not happy to see
her.
"Come back here a sec, you and me need a talk!"
"I really need to see Hawkeye!" Margaret said as she backed away towards
the door.
"Well you'll need my help to find him, so humour me, have a cup of tea
with me first!"
"Alright" Margaret said following Nina behind the desk. Nina motioned her
towards a chair in the break-room.
"Ok I'll get straight to the point!" Nina shot at her, "Just what are you
trying to do to that boy?"
Margaret was stunned by the accusation, "Excuse me!" she said.
"Because I tell you he does not deserve to be treated that way. I have
known Hawkeye Pierce since he was a teenager and though he gets on my
nerves from time to time I can promise you, you will not meet a better
man this side of the equator!"
"I..." Margaret started only to be cut off.
"I have worked alongside his father for over fifteen years, that boy is
like a son to me, I altered his pants when he just kept growing out of
them, I helped him pick out a suit for the prom, I know that boy inside
out! He's a good boy, sincere, loving. He could never hurt you because I
don't believe he even knows how!"
"Yes I..." Again she was cut off.
"And if that's not the kind of man you want then you need your head
examined lady! There are women in this town who could only ever dream of
having that man's love and I tell you this, they would fight you for
him!"
"Can I..."
"So unless you're here to tell him that you love him, I'd advise you to
push off because I don't want to see him hurt anymore than he already has
been!"
"May I say something!" Margaret said as patiently as she could.
"Of course, why didn't you just speak up?"
Margaret rolled her eyes.
"I am here to tell him that I love him, and that I made a stupid mistake,
and that I'm sorry, and that I want no one but him, but I can't very well
tell him if I'm stuck here talking to you! Now where is he?" Margaret
declared raising her voice to show she meant business.
"You are? Well that's different? Ok, I met him a short while ago down at
the beach and when I left he was walking back towards his house!"
"He's not there. I already tried, there was no answer!"
"Oh! Hmm. Hang on today's Thursday right?"
Margaret nodded.
"Well any Thursday that he is off he usually goes fishing, don't ask me
why he's just funny that way. But that's probably where he'll be. You'll
have to walk right down to the bottom of Main St., then off to your right
there's a walkway that will lead you along the beach. Follow that for
about a half mile and you should see a sort of wooden deck in the
distance, that's where he'll be!"
"You're sure?"
"Didn't I just say that's where he'll be?" Nina said impatiently.
"Yes!"
"Then that is where he will be! Now go on, get going!"
"Right!" Margaret said as she made her way swiftly to the door, "Thank
you!"
"Sure thing" Nina said. "Humph, second guess me!" she muttered as she
gathered up a bunch of files, "I know that boy inside out I tell ya!"
****************************************************************
Margaret started to quicken her pace as she approached the end of the
street. She could feel her heart thumping. She never felt this nervous
before in her life. "There it is!" she said as she veered off to the
right to follow the path that Nina had told her about. She started
running now, she could feel that she was getting closer. "I should have
worn something warmer!" she thought as the biting ocean breeze caused
tears to run down her face.
"Can't be much farther!"
She stopped suddenly! She saw him! Off in the distance, fishing rod in
hand and facing out to sea. He was wearing a woollen hat and a warm coat
and seemed oblivious to the world around him.
A solitary figure shadowed by the brilliant light from the horizon in
front of him. Hawkeye came here for one sole purpose, to be alone. Harry
the dog sat quietly by his side. Having overcome their initial
differences, both had since become good friends and Harry rarely left
Hawkeye out of his sight now.
Margaret was out of breath by the time she reached them. She clasped her
knees with her hands as she tried to catch her breath. Harry's ears had
picked up as he heard her coming. He stood up and turned around,
cautiously watching the figure approaching them.
"Woof!" he left out a single warning growl.
"What is it boy?" Hawkeye said turning his head to investigate.
Hawkeye felt as though his feet had been nailed to the ground, he
couldn't move.
"Margaret?" he whispered.
Margaret was still trying to catch her breath. "Hi!" she said shyly.
Harry was by now circling Margaret trying to get a good sniff at the
stranger.
"Agh, what's that?" she yelled in fright as she noticed the brown and
white fur-ball at her feet.
"Harry stop that!" Hawkeye ordered and the dog dutifully obeyed. "That's
Harry, my half-brother!" Hawkeye said.
"What?" Margaret said not understanding.
"Doesn't matter, wha... what are you doing here?"
"Hmm? Oh, um, well..." Oh God I'm making such an ass of myself! Margaret
thought as she tried to think back on the speech she had been rehearsing
all the way to Crabapple Cove. In the end she just stared into his eyes,
she could see pain and confusion in them, but most of all she could see
love.
"You said you'd wait didn't you?" she said smiling shyly, watching for
his reaction.
Hawkeye's eyes lit up but he proceeded with caution. He didn't want to
make a fool of himself again.
"Yes but to be honest I didn't expect you this soon! What's going on here
Margaret?"
"I am so sorry!" she blurted out. "I never meant to hurt you!"
"Yeah well, thems the blows! My fault for misreading the signals!" he
said without emotion.
"But you didn't misread anything! I, I love you too!"
"You do?"
"Yes, with all my heart! Have done since Korea. I don't know exactly when
it happened but you somehow sort of grew on me out there! And the more I
got to know you the stronger I began to feel"
"I don't understand!" Hawkeye said shaking his head "The other day you
blew me over and out! What changed?"
"Forget the other day, I was not thinking straight, I..."
"It's a little hard to forget, you did smash all my dreams into a million
pieces!"
"I was crazy, I was, I don't know what I was, you just took me by
complete surprise. It all seemed too good to be true! I didn't know what
to say, I guess I just got scared. I kept thinking, what if I give myself
to you and you go and do what all the other men in my life have done! I
couldn't take that pain again Hawkeye, especially not from you cause
well, you're 'it' for me too! I don't ever want to lose you!"
Hawkeye allowed the smile that had been gathering to finally break across
his face.
"So does this mean that you've reconsidered my offer?"
"If you'll give me a second chance?"
"What do you think?" he said as he moved closer to her. "You don't have
to be afraid of anything with me Margaret, I'm yours now and I'm never
going to leave you!" He put his hand up to graze her cheek. "I've been
hurt in the past too you know? But that's not going to stop me from
having another go. This time I know it will last!"
"How are you so sure?"
He moved his hands to her shoulders and stared intensely into her eyes,
"Because if you could stick three years of working along side me in that
pressure cooker then I know you could stick a life time! You're the only
woman who ever knew how to handle me Margaret! I've got no secrets with
you, you already know exactly who I am! You've seen me at my worst and
somehow you still manage to love me. If this can't last then nothing can!
I've never in my life felt this close to anyone! Do you believe me now?"
"Yes, I feel so close to you too, but I'd like to get a lot closer!"
Hawkeye gathered her up in his arms. He embraced her with all his might,
he wanted her to feel so secure in his arms right there and then that she
would never want to leave them. "I'm so happy you came!" he whispered in
her ear as tears began to trickle down his face. But these were different
tears, there was no sadness, no bitterness in these tears, just pure,
intense joy! "You saved me Margaret!"
Margaret had longed to be held like this. All the men she had ever loved
had never held her this way. She could feel the love trembling through
his body, she felt safe, she felt loved! "I should have never let you
walk away in the first place! I feel so foolish for being so afraid!"
"We were both foolish, for wasting all this time when we could have been
together. Margaret, you'll probably hear this a lot from now on, you
confuse the hell out of me, but I love you!"
"Well Hawkeye, you may drive me up the walls from time to time, but I
love you too!"
"Does this mean I can kiss you now?" he said placing his hand on her
cheek.
"Oh yeah!"
Hawkeye smiled before leaning in to meet her lips. First contact was with
her nose, then he moved down to her lips and ever so gently they kissed
for the first time since Korea. As the kiss grew deeper he began to move
his hands up and down her back until they came to rest on her hips. She
had moved her hand up to cup the back of his neck and pull him in closer.
Her other hand moved gently across his shoulder blades. They stayed that
way for some time, it felt too good to let it end. Eventually Hawkeye
broke his lips away just far enough to speak. He was now gently rubbing
her back, "We ought to get you warmed up!" he said "Let's go back to the
house and I'll get a great big fire started!"
"Ok!" she smiled back at him.
He wrapped his coat around her shoulders and together they made their way
back along the sandy walkway. "What about your fishing gear?" she asked
looking back.
"Ah, I'll get it later!"
"What if someone takes it?"
"You got a lot to learn about Crabapple Cove! Come on Harry!"
Harry immediately responded and ran on ahead of them as they walked.
"Dad got Harry as a kind of substitute-son for when I was away!"
"He replaced you with a dog? Not very flattering is it?"
"No I guess not!" he laughed.
********************************************************************
"Hey Nina, anything strange or exciting while I was out?" Daniel called
as he came in the door.
"Ha!" Nina let out a sarcastic laugh. "Well we had a visitor!"
"This isn't one of those times where I have to keep guessing who it was,
is it?"
"No, this is too big to keep to myself any longer! I have been dying to
tell someone and wouldn't you know it, this would be the one day nobody
needed a doctor..."
"Nina who is it already?" Daniel was not a short tempered man by any
means but Nina really knew how to push the wrong buttons!
"Oh alright then! Hawkeye's fame fatale showed up here about an hour ago
looking for him!" she said with satisfaction.
"You're kidding!"
"Would I kid you?"
"What did you say, what did she want?"
"Turns out she loves him after all and came here to patch things up!"
"She does? She did? That's great!"
"I thought so too so I sent her off to find him. Haven't seen either of
them since!" she said raising an eyebrow.
"This is wonderful, I gotta get home, I gotta see what's happened!"
Daniel said as he turned to head for the door.
"Hold it mister!" Nina boomed. "Just where do you think you're going?
Would you not give them some space?"
"Oh, I suppose you're right! I'll give them time to sort things out.
Isn't this great? My little boy has got himself a woman!"
"Joy to the world!" Nina said sarcastically as she filled out some
documents.
"Oh come now Nina, I know you're happy as well, come on! Let a little bit
of that sunshine out!" he teased.
Nina looked at him stony faced before breaking down into a big smile.
"Our little Hawkeye's all grow'd up!" she screamed.
"Well how do you think he is, he's in bits!" Daniel said across the table
to Nina. "I've been walking around on tippy-toes all week for fear of
setting him off!"
"Oh damn, it's my fault, I convinced him to do it!"
"No, no. He would have done it himself eventually anyway, you just helped
hurry it on!"
"Is he going to be ok?"
"I hope so. He's made so much progress this past year, this really was
the last thing he needed. He'd have been better off had he never met up
with her again! I just hope he doesn't hit the bottle!"
"I haven't seen him this bad over a woman since that Carlye one dumped
him!" Nina said.
"That was bad alright. But I have a feeling this one is going to be
worse."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well he was convinced that she was 'the one'"
"He thought Carlye was the one too. The problem with that boy is when he
falls in love at all he really falls! He loses all sense of reality!"
Nina and Daniel both took a sip of tea.
"Yeuch, honestly, I don't know how you drink this herbal stuff, it's like
drinking grass or something!"
"And how would you know what that's like? You've been drinking way too
much coffee lately anyway, this is better for you. So drink it and shut
up!"
"Yes doctor!" Daniel said in his sarcastic tone.
"Don't you use that tone with me! What I don't understand is what went
wrong. I mean according to Hawkeye they were getting on really well. You
ask me that girl didn't know how lucky she was. She could do a lot worse
than Hawkeye, a lot worse!"
"Yeah!" Daniel agreed.
"Excuse me!" came a voice from the other side of the reception desk.
"Oh what is it? Can't you see we're busy?" Nina snapped.
"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt!"
"Nina! Do we have to have another talk about your customer relations
skills?" Daniel said timidly.
Nina shot Daniel a killer look, then got up and walked casually over to
the desk.
"I'm sorry, how may I help you?" she said in the fakest sounding pleasant
tone she could.
"Could I possibly see the doctor!"
"Of course you may. Just fill out this form and the doctor will be with
you soon!" she smiled as the man took his seat. "How was that?" she
snapped back at Daniel who just threw his eyes to Heaven.
*****************************************************************
Meanwhile, Hawkeye sat at home in the kitchen opposite a bottle of vodka,
listening to the many voices that whizzed through his mind. 'Go ahead,
have a glass, what does it matter now!' was the strongest thought in his
head at that moment. It had been two days and Margaret hadn't called. Not
so much as a call to see if he was alright!
He kept trying to figure out where he had got it so wrong. Maybe it was
the pills? She didn't want to take up with a pill-popper! But he had told
her he wasn't taking them anymore, he had explained everything. She acted
like she understood! Had it all been an act? Was she using him until
someone better came along? No, that didn't sound like Margaret at all.
She wasn't like that! Maybe she just didn't love him! Maybe it was as
simple as that.
In the end he grabbed the bottle of vodka, walked out the back porch and
smashed it off the wall. "I'm not going to give in to you!" he shouted at
the broken shards of glass. He then stormed off in the direction of the
cliffs, he had to get out of the house.
********************************************************************
Back in Boston, Margaret was getting an earful from Carla.
"You what? and you just left him walk away? Are you completely insane?
The best thing that has ever happened to you and you let it walk away!"
"You don't have to yell at me believe me I've been doing enough of that
myself!" Margaret replied as she downed another scotch.
"And he said he'd wait for you?"
"No matter how long he said!"
"And that you were 'it' for him, and that his love would never die?"
"Yep!"
"But you do love him don't you?"
"More than anything!" she cried.
"Margaret, help me out here. It may just be the bourbon but I think I've
lost the plot a bit. The man you love right?"
"Right!"
"Declared his undying love for you right?"
"Right!"
"And you basically told him to go and stuff it?"
"Well when you say it like that you make me sound cruel!" said Margaret,
who was slightly tipsy by now.
"Well it was! What were you thinking? Were you drunk? Were you under the
influence of some kinda mind distorting drug?"
"No!"
"Well then why? It just doesn't make sense!"
"I don't know why!" she cried, "I just got scared!"
"Of what of Hawkeye? You're kidding me right? How could you be scared of
that sweet, wonderful man who cares for you so much that he has willingly
committed himself to a life of celibacy in the off chance you decide to
change your mind and go after him!"
"Stop it, you're making me sound like a crazy woman!"
"Well you are if you let this man get away!"
"I would be wouldn't I? I mean he's my world! I'll never love anyone the
way I love him!"
"Ugh, now you're just getting soppy!" Carla said tossing her eyes.
"I've stuffed up big time haven't I? I don't know what came over me. I
just couldn't say anything. He thinks I was just using him all this time.
Oh Carla, what am I going to do? Face into a life of spinster-dom!" she
slurred.
"There's only one thing to do, you have to go after him!"
"Wha?" Margaret exclaimed.
"You have to go to Crabapple Cave or whatever and find him and tell him!
Say 'Sorry about the other day but I kinda lost control of my mind but
well now I've got it back and would really like to have your children!',
or words to that effect!"
"Yeah, ok, I can do that!" Margaret nodded.
"Right then let's go!"
"What?"
"Come on, right now!"
"No, I can't go right now!"
"What? Why?"
"First I have to go throw up!" Margaret said as she ran for the bathroom.
"Ok, we'll leave it 'till tomorrow then! All we need is for you to get
there and then throw up at his feet! That would not make for a gracious
apology!"
*****************************************************************
Hawkeye was sitting on the sand watching the roll of the tide. It was a
cold day in Crabapple Cove and he sat with his arms tightly wound around
his torso. Nina came up from behind and sat next to him.
"You on a break?" he said without looking.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to know how you were!"
"Interesting thing the tide isn't it?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well think about it, hundreds of waves roll in day after day and not one
of them the same as the last!"
"Fascinating!" she said in her stern sarcastic voice "But I did not come
here to talk waves!"
"Fine then" he said childishly.
"I'm sorry about what happened with Margaret!" she said sincerely.
"So am I!" he retorted.
"At least now you know though!" She said knowing it was a stupid comment
to make.
Hawkeye laughed, "Oh yeah, things are certainly much better now that I
know!"
"And you can finally move on!" she added.
"Humph, there is no moving on Nina. No matter what I'll never shake her.
She will always be a part of me and even if I wanted to I could never
kill the love I have for her, never!"
"If you never kill the love then you'll also never kill the pain."
"So be it! I'm well used to living with pain. But like you said, at least
now I know where I stand! I'll see you later!"
With that he got up, dusted the sand off his jeans and headed back
towards the house.
"Ain't no girl worth that!" Nina said shaking her head as she rose and
made her way back to the office.
*****************************************************************
Margaret got the taxi to drop her right outside the house. She double-
checked the address with the one Hawkeye had scribbled down for her, then
paid the driver and dragged her suitcase up the drive towards the front
door. It had been a lot harder to get there than she had imagined.
Unsurprisingly, few people had ever heard of Crabapple Cove and it took
some time to find a taxi driver that knew the way.
Her palms became sticky the closer she got to the door, she was afraid he
would just slam it shut on her face. She wouldn't blame him if he did,
she had been unforgivably cruel to him. She just hoped he would at least
hear her out, before shutting the door on her!
Hawkeye sure wasn't kidding when he said how beautiful the place was.
Although it was a bitterly cold day she still found the sea a mesmerising
sight. She could already see herself living here, here with Hawkeye!
This is it! She said as she knocked on the door, bracing herself for what
might happen, but nothing happened, no one came.
"Not home. Damn it!" she exclaimed. "Of course!" she said hitting her
head, "He's at work!"
She decided not to wait and headed straight to his workplace. She left
her suitcase by the door and walked back in the direction of town. She
hadn't the foggiest notion of where she was going but someone was bound
to point her in the right direction, after all, everyone here surely knew
the Pierces.
******************************************************************
Nina walked casually back into the office, it was a slow day, so she took
an extended break. Daniel was out on a house call and he need never know.
As she walked in, she noticed a young blonde woman calling over the
reception desk.
"Can I help you?" she asked, immediately noticing that this woman was an
out-of-towner.
"Oh, yes I hope so!" the woman said as she turned around to face Nina.
"I'm looking for a doctor Pierce, can you help me?"
"You're in luck, we happen to have two of them! Would you be interested
in the younger or the older model?" Nina said in her usual sarcastic way.
"Oh" Margaret laughed, "I'm looking for the younger one, ah Benjamin
Franklin!"
Nina raised an eyebrow at the young woman "No one round here ever calls
him that!" she declared, "But you're out of luck, today's his day off!"
"Oh" Margaret said disappointed, "Well can you tell me where he might
be?"
"Not around here anyway that's for sure!" Nina was enjoying toying with
this woman. Suddenly a thought occurred to her, blonde, beautiful, from
out of town, looking for Hawkeye! "You wouldn't be Margaret would you?"
she said slowly.
"Oh yes, yes I am!"
From the look on Nina's face Margaret could tell she was not happy to see
her.
"Come back here a sec, you and me need a talk!"
"I really need to see Hawkeye!" Margaret said as she backed away towards
the door.
"Well you'll need my help to find him, so humour me, have a cup of tea
with me first!"
"Alright" Margaret said following Nina behind the desk. Nina motioned her
towards a chair in the break-room.
"Ok I'll get straight to the point!" Nina shot at her, "Just what are you
trying to do to that boy?"
Margaret was stunned by the accusation, "Excuse me!" she said.
"Because I tell you he does not deserve to be treated that way. I have
known Hawkeye Pierce since he was a teenager and though he gets on my
nerves from time to time I can promise you, you will not meet a better
man this side of the equator!"
"I..." Margaret started only to be cut off.
"I have worked alongside his father for over fifteen years, that boy is
like a son to me, I altered his pants when he just kept growing out of
them, I helped him pick out a suit for the prom, I know that boy inside
out! He's a good boy, sincere, loving. He could never hurt you because I
don't believe he even knows how!"
"Yes I..." Again she was cut off.
"And if that's not the kind of man you want then you need your head
examined lady! There are women in this town who could only ever dream of
having that man's love and I tell you this, they would fight you for
him!"
"Can I..."
"So unless you're here to tell him that you love him, I'd advise you to
push off because I don't want to see him hurt anymore than he already has
been!"
"May I say something!" Margaret said as patiently as she could.
"Of course, why didn't you just speak up?"
Margaret rolled her eyes.
"I am here to tell him that I love him, and that I made a stupid mistake,
and that I'm sorry, and that I want no one but him, but I can't very well
tell him if I'm stuck here talking to you! Now where is he?" Margaret
declared raising her voice to show she meant business.
"You are? Well that's different? Ok, I met him a short while ago down at
the beach and when I left he was walking back towards his house!"
"He's not there. I already tried, there was no answer!"
"Oh! Hmm. Hang on today's Thursday right?"
Margaret nodded.
"Well any Thursday that he is off he usually goes fishing, don't ask me
why he's just funny that way. But that's probably where he'll be. You'll
have to walk right down to the bottom of Main St., then off to your right
there's a walkway that will lead you along the beach. Follow that for
about a half mile and you should see a sort of wooden deck in the
distance, that's where he'll be!"
"You're sure?"
"Didn't I just say that's where he'll be?" Nina said impatiently.
"Yes!"
"Then that is where he will be! Now go on, get going!"
"Right!" Margaret said as she made her way swiftly to the door, "Thank
you!"
"Sure thing" Nina said. "Humph, second guess me!" she muttered as she
gathered up a bunch of files, "I know that boy inside out I tell ya!"
****************************************************************
Margaret started to quicken her pace as she approached the end of the
street. She could feel her heart thumping. She never felt this nervous
before in her life. "There it is!" she said as she veered off to the
right to follow the path that Nina had told her about. She started
running now, she could feel that she was getting closer. "I should have
worn something warmer!" she thought as the biting ocean breeze caused
tears to run down her face.
"Can't be much farther!"
She stopped suddenly! She saw him! Off in the distance, fishing rod in
hand and facing out to sea. He was wearing a woollen hat and a warm coat
and seemed oblivious to the world around him.
A solitary figure shadowed by the brilliant light from the horizon in
front of him. Hawkeye came here for one sole purpose, to be alone. Harry
the dog sat quietly by his side. Having overcome their initial
differences, both had since become good friends and Harry rarely left
Hawkeye out of his sight now.
Margaret was out of breath by the time she reached them. She clasped her
knees with her hands as she tried to catch her breath. Harry's ears had
picked up as he heard her coming. He stood up and turned around,
cautiously watching the figure approaching them.
"Woof!" he left out a single warning growl.
"What is it boy?" Hawkeye said turning his head to investigate.
Hawkeye felt as though his feet had been nailed to the ground, he
couldn't move.
"Margaret?" he whispered.
Margaret was still trying to catch her breath. "Hi!" she said shyly.
Harry was by now circling Margaret trying to get a good sniff at the
stranger.
"Agh, what's that?" she yelled in fright as she noticed the brown and
white fur-ball at her feet.
"Harry stop that!" Hawkeye ordered and the dog dutifully obeyed. "That's
Harry, my half-brother!" Hawkeye said.
"What?" Margaret said not understanding.
"Doesn't matter, wha... what are you doing here?"
"Hmm? Oh, um, well..." Oh God I'm making such an ass of myself! Margaret
thought as she tried to think back on the speech she had been rehearsing
all the way to Crabapple Cove. In the end she just stared into his eyes,
she could see pain and confusion in them, but most of all she could see
love.
"You said you'd wait didn't you?" she said smiling shyly, watching for
his reaction.
Hawkeye's eyes lit up but he proceeded with caution. He didn't want to
make a fool of himself again.
"Yes but to be honest I didn't expect you this soon! What's going on here
Margaret?"
"I am so sorry!" she blurted out. "I never meant to hurt you!"
"Yeah well, thems the blows! My fault for misreading the signals!" he
said without emotion.
"But you didn't misread anything! I, I love you too!"
"You do?"
"Yes, with all my heart! Have done since Korea. I don't know exactly when
it happened but you somehow sort of grew on me out there! And the more I
got to know you the stronger I began to feel"
"I don't understand!" Hawkeye said shaking his head "The other day you
blew me over and out! What changed?"
"Forget the other day, I was not thinking straight, I..."
"It's a little hard to forget, you did smash all my dreams into a million
pieces!"
"I was crazy, I was, I don't know what I was, you just took me by
complete surprise. It all seemed too good to be true! I didn't know what
to say, I guess I just got scared. I kept thinking, what if I give myself
to you and you go and do what all the other men in my life have done! I
couldn't take that pain again Hawkeye, especially not from you cause
well, you're 'it' for me too! I don't ever want to lose you!"
Hawkeye allowed the smile that had been gathering to finally break across
his face.
"So does this mean that you've reconsidered my offer?"
"If you'll give me a second chance?"
"What do you think?" he said as he moved closer to her. "You don't have
to be afraid of anything with me Margaret, I'm yours now and I'm never
going to leave you!" He put his hand up to graze her cheek. "I've been
hurt in the past too you know? But that's not going to stop me from
having another go. This time I know it will last!"
"How are you so sure?"
He moved his hands to her shoulders and stared intensely into her eyes,
"Because if you could stick three years of working along side me in that
pressure cooker then I know you could stick a life time! You're the only
woman who ever knew how to handle me Margaret! I've got no secrets with
you, you already know exactly who I am! You've seen me at my worst and
somehow you still manage to love me. If this can't last then nothing can!
I've never in my life felt this close to anyone! Do you believe me now?"
"Yes, I feel so close to you too, but I'd like to get a lot closer!"
Hawkeye gathered her up in his arms. He embraced her with all his might,
he wanted her to feel so secure in his arms right there and then that she
would never want to leave them. "I'm so happy you came!" he whispered in
her ear as tears began to trickle down his face. But these were different
tears, there was no sadness, no bitterness in these tears, just pure,
intense joy! "You saved me Margaret!"
Margaret had longed to be held like this. All the men she had ever loved
had never held her this way. She could feel the love trembling through
his body, she felt safe, she felt loved! "I should have never let you
walk away in the first place! I feel so foolish for being so afraid!"
"We were both foolish, for wasting all this time when we could have been
together. Margaret, you'll probably hear this a lot from now on, you
confuse the hell out of me, but I love you!"
"Well Hawkeye, you may drive me up the walls from time to time, but I
love you too!"
"Does this mean I can kiss you now?" he said placing his hand on her
cheek.
"Oh yeah!"
Hawkeye smiled before leaning in to meet her lips. First contact was with
her nose, then he moved down to her lips and ever so gently they kissed
for the first time since Korea. As the kiss grew deeper he began to move
his hands up and down her back until they came to rest on her hips. She
had moved her hand up to cup the back of his neck and pull him in closer.
Her other hand moved gently across his shoulder blades. They stayed that
way for some time, it felt too good to let it end. Eventually Hawkeye
broke his lips away just far enough to speak. He was now gently rubbing
her back, "We ought to get you warmed up!" he said "Let's go back to the
house and I'll get a great big fire started!"
"Ok!" she smiled back at him.
He wrapped his coat around her shoulders and together they made their way
back along the sandy walkway. "What about your fishing gear?" she asked
looking back.
"Ah, I'll get it later!"
"What if someone takes it?"
"You got a lot to learn about Crabapple Cove! Come on Harry!"
Harry immediately responded and ran on ahead of them as they walked.
"Dad got Harry as a kind of substitute-son for when I was away!"
"He replaced you with a dog? Not very flattering is it?"
"No I guess not!" he laughed.
********************************************************************
"Hey Nina, anything strange or exciting while I was out?" Daniel called
as he came in the door.
"Ha!" Nina let out a sarcastic laugh. "Well we had a visitor!"
"This isn't one of those times where I have to keep guessing who it was,
is it?"
"No, this is too big to keep to myself any longer! I have been dying to
tell someone and wouldn't you know it, this would be the one day nobody
needed a doctor..."
"Nina who is it already?" Daniel was not a short tempered man by any
means but Nina really knew how to push the wrong buttons!
"Oh alright then! Hawkeye's fame fatale showed up here about an hour ago
looking for him!" she said with satisfaction.
"You're kidding!"
"Would I kid you?"
"What did you say, what did she want?"
"Turns out she loves him after all and came here to patch things up!"
"She does? She did? That's great!"
"I thought so too so I sent her off to find him. Haven't seen either of
them since!" she said raising an eyebrow.
"This is wonderful, I gotta get home, I gotta see what's happened!"
Daniel said as he turned to head for the door.
"Hold it mister!" Nina boomed. "Just where do you think you're going?
Would you not give them some space?"
"Oh, I suppose you're right! I'll give them time to sort things out.
Isn't this great? My little boy has got himself a woman!"
"Joy to the world!" Nina said sarcastically as she filled out some
documents.
"Oh come now Nina, I know you're happy as well, come on! Let a little bit
of that sunshine out!" he teased.
Nina looked at him stony faced before breaking down into a big smile.
"Our little Hawkeye's all grow'd up!" she screamed.
