Disclaimer: I don't own FF VIII, or any of the related characters. If I did, do you think that I'd be writing this? Hell no. I'd be having a hell of a good time spending the big bucks from it. But I can't…sniff

Note: I am sick! As in the cold kind of sick. This chapter is demented, so you may not want to read it…Especially if you don't want bad mental pictures. If you don't care, then read please! Review too, and please no flames! I burn easily ^ v ^ This chapter wasn't part of my plan, but I figured it would be funny, and add to the angst factor too. It is funny sorta, and doesn't really go along with the whole dark theme of the story, but I couldn't resist!

Warning: High PG 13, or low R

Chapter 15: Help!

     Squall stretched his as he walked into the sunlight. He had been sleeping in an odd position the entire flight. His neck hurt like hell, but he ignored the neck spasm he was suffering from.

Squall: Damn, it's f---ing  cold. Where's my jacket? I guess I had better look for –

     Rinoa hopped off of the Ragnarok sporting Squall's jacket. She grinned, and gave it to him. How she got a hold of it was anybody's guess, but she had it at any rate. He grabbed it from her, and slipped it on hurriedly. The ocean was no place to be in winter, especially without a good coat.

     She flipped her hair out of her shirt, and jumped into his arms. He was at first beyond startled, but gently pushed her down. He was in no mood for games.

Rinoa: We all heard you in your sleep.

Squall (irritated that no one woke him): …

Rinoa: Was it a good dream, or a bad one? Your face was all scrunched up so I couldn't tell.

Squall: It was fine.

Rinoa: Oh, okay. Who's that name you said?

Squall (gives her the look): …

Rinoa (laughs it off): It's okay if you have a dream girl. I have a dream guy. He's strong, and handsome, and…

Squall: Oh, gawd. Here she goes about Laguna…

Rinoa: …and cute, and brave.

Squall: …

Rinoa: Your dad's pretty hot. You must get your looks from him.

Squall (says nothing): I'm nothing like him! I don't even look like him! Is this some sort of cruel joke?! Damn it! Quit playing these games with me! I can't take it any longer!

Rinoa: But seriously, who is she? Do I know her, or is she pure fantasy?

Squall: I don't know. (walks off)

Rinoa: You don't know? How odd… Hey wait up! (runs after him).

+++++++++++++++

[Mayor's House]

Quistis: Mayor Dobe, we present your call girl for the evening: Rinoa, daughter of Julia Heartily!

Dobe: I didn't now you were related to her. I guess I should have seen the resemblance before.

Rinoa (to Quistis): I can't believe you used me as a trade off.

Quistis: Shut up, I know you gave him pleasure before. It was his idea.

Rinoa (flashback of Dobe in the buff): …cringes, and shakes in disgust…Here I am, your entertainment for this evening.

Dobe: Ooo yeah.

Quistis: Bye (darts for a trash can to puke in, Dobe started undressing).

++++++++++++++++

[Outside Mayor's House]

Zell: She goin' through with it?

Quistis: Does she have a choice?… Well, yeah, but I mean…yeah she does. She knows her ways around him, and how to manipulate him not to, but…Nevermind…She's a whore.

Squall: I got laid by a girl who laid Mayor Dobe, and Cid? I feel sick…

Irvine: So, Selphie, I hear there's a great lodge nearby.

Selphie: I can't while Rinoa is in there with him

Zell: Oh, the other part Quisty.

Quistis: Oh, yeah, Squall….You have to have drinks with the mayor's wife. It was the only way that they'd agree to help us.

Squall (panic is evident on his face): Oh…shit.

Quistis: It's just drinks. She's bending the drinking age for you.

Squall: Oooooh crap.

Quistis: You're thinking out loud again.

Squall: CRAP!

Quistis: Just drinks. Don't get hammered though, k? We had to really work out a lot so you didn't have to ….ya know. So don't blow it. I had to hear her complain about her sex life for an hour. AN HOUR! Do you know how bad that was?! An HOU--R!

Squall: Um, thanks, but couldn't you work out something that didn't involve me?

Zell: I'll handle this one. SHE LIKES YOUUUUUUUUUU! You turn her onnnn!

Squall (about to hurl): …Crap.

Side note

I can't remember Dobe's wife's name, so she's Wife, k? I'm too lazy to find out…

++++++++++++++++

[Bar]

Squall: Memo to self: Pulverize Zell.

Wife (already drunk): Hey, Squally-baby, can I buy you a drink?

Squall: No thanks.

Wife: Awww. But cute guys get cuter with booze.

Squall: I think it's ugly guys get cuter when the girls drink.

Wife (leaning on him): I think you're right.

Squall: How long is this going to take?

Wife: A loooooong time. Hey, are you a doctor? I got this mole on my boob that needs to get looked at, so can you….

Squall: Uh, no.

Wife (takes her shirt off): See, it's right here, next to, next to, WAAAAAAHHHHH!

Squall: A tattoo of Dobe's name…

     Wife, and Squall sat at a table for a while. She complained about how Dobe doesn't satisfy her, and how he used to be a great guy in every aspect of the word. The waitress came, and Squall ordered a lot of whiskey. Sake wouldn't work this time (he had a stash under his bed), and needed something harder.

     Needless to say they were there for a while, and she finally passed out. Squall, drunk himself, carried her to her house, only to find Rinoa, and Dobe doing it.

Squall (drops Wife): Oh, shit, that's small man.

Dobe: Really?

Rinoa: SQUALL! Get out!

Squall: Okaaaaay…(walks into the door). I'm fine.

Rinoa: Are you drunk? (wraps up in a hand towel)

Squall: Yep.

Rinoa: Reallllly drunk?(gets off of the kitchen counter)

Squall: Yyyyyyyyeeeeeepppppp.

Rinoa: Dobe, I gotta go, k?

Dobe: Yeah, I can see. (looks at her ass)

Squall: The room is spinning…

Rinoa (clothed): C'mon.(helps him to Ragnarok)

++++++++++++++++

[Ragnarok]

Squall: You're pretty.

Rinoa: You've said that already.

Squall: I know. So, why did we break up?

Rinoa: I dunno.

Squall: Hmmm. I dunno either.

Rinoa: I couldn't take you to the Garden, you're too drunk to be respectable. Everyone would laugh, and you'd hate everyone even more.

Squall (she's laying him down to sleep it off): You're a slut.

Rinoa: You said that already too.

Squall (points to her crouch): I'm not f----ing that. I know where it's been… sometimes…

Rinoa: Tonight is going to be a long night….

Oceania (using telepathy): Squall, you f----ing drunkard. Grrr. Ass hole. When I see you I'm going to kick your ass. This is embarrassing…

Squall: I hear voices.

Rinoa: Tonight is going to be a very long night.

Note: Yeah, demented. My medicine is working. I can't think straight. Is that bad? Hmmm… I guess… Oh well! Tee hee.