Notes to Readers:
The co-author on this chapter is, of course, Jodancingtree. She has added lots
of charming touches, thanks, Jo!
Thank you for the comments! Reviews are very motivating and give me insights
into the stories that make me dig deeper in writing, which I probably wouldn't
do were I the only one reading these stories... (I am sending them on to Jo,
and she thanks you as well.)
Bookworm, something is definitely disturbing the Master and Thain; read on!
Aemilia Rose, I'm sure Pip would appreciate your concern if he weren't so sunk
in his own troubles.
Xena, you noticed one of the things that didn't come out… yet… good for you!
*** What ails the Master and Thain will come out shortly, though they are not
quite worried about the same thing… yet. *** Rosemary's giddiness was fun and
one of Jo's little touches. She really knows how to make a story come to life.
Hai, I wish one of the three would come to live at my house, or that I had some
inkling of that truth-sifting talent. It might make things just a bit easier,
wouldn't you think?
Tim the E., recognition is
the beginning, but courage and determination to try to change are essential
factors as well, and Pippin has all those characteristics.
FantasyFan, You're right, it is not over. Not only the guilt and shock at what
they almost did hangs over them, but also the consequences of hasty,
ill-considered action. *** It is nice to have the truth-sifting as an inherited
trait, makes Ferdi seem much less... what is the word I'm looking for?
Contrived? Freakish? Ah, cannot apply such terms to Ferdi! *** hobbits and
food, what a combination.
Ff.net and other factors permitting, expect to see the next chapter two
days from this posting. If you cannot access ff.net, try www.storiesofarda.com. You can leave
reviews there, as well (thanks SoA reviewers! See replies at SoA as well), and
there is a "reply" feature where an author can reply to a review
right there rather than within the text of the story. I have also discovered
the "author alert" feature. Amazing place, that SoA.
The next chapter of "The Rebel" will be posted on the morrow, if all goes well.
Enough admin notes. Let's get to the story.
***
Chapter 21: Facing Facts
'I cannot believe what we nearly did.' Merry sat on the bench outside the door,
where Ferdi and Tolly had sat a couple of hours earlier, waiting for the fire
to be hot enough. 'We, who are sworn to uphold the King's justice! You know,
Pip, I railed against Aragorn, when he told me Gondor's law demanded that he
punish Beregond. Death or banishment, he said; 'twas one or the other. I railed
against him and his law, and here I am –'
'But he didn't execute Beregond, or even banish him, really. Just sent him to
Ithilien, and that was honour, not banishment.' Pippin wasn't following Merry's
thought, was only half listening if the truth were known. He heard the peal of
Farry's laughter inside the house, and his heart hurt in his chest.
'That's just the point!' Merry snapped. 'Aragorn knew how to temper justice
with mercy. Wouldn't you think a hobbit could do as much? But there was
precious little mercy about either of us today.'
Pippin didn't answer. He stood leaning against the doorframe, and Merry looked
up in concern. 'Pip? Are you all right?'
'I'm well enough, Merry. Don't fuss.'
'Yes, it's likely you could put that over on me, isn't it?' Merry tried to pull
his cousin down to sit next to him on the bench, but Pippin resisted, taking
Merry's hand and putting it gently aside. 'Are you ill, Pippin? You've hardly
left Farry's side since we got here; you might have taken his fever.'
Pippin walked a few steps away before he stopped and just stood there,
defeated. 'I'm not ill, Merry. I — Ferdi came in to talk to me last night –
well, you knew that. He said... he implied... no, he said it right out,' Pippin
was fumbling for words.
'What did he say?'
'They tell me I'm a good Thain, you know. One of the finest.' Pippin gave a
hard little laugh. 'Tookland is prospering, and the people are not so insular,
so short-sighted, so...'
'Tookish?' Merry supplied, smiling in spite of himself.
'...Tookish,' Pippin agreed, 'as they were before I stepped up.'
'Yes, I'd heard that,' Merry said. 'Although letting the ceiling of the New
Smials fall in on you was perhaps a step backwards.'
'They're getting over that,' Pippin said in dismissal. 'Besides, the New Smials
were re-dug and finished and hobbits are living there now – no signs of the
ceiling falling in on anyone's head – so I think we've put that behind us.' He
kicked at a half-buried stone, grimacing as it stood firm against his assault.
'What does this have to do with Ferdi?' Merry said. He had visions of waiting
for hours while Pippin talked around the subject.
'He said...' Pippin bent down, worked his fingers under the rock, pried it up,
and cast it away into the woods. 'He accused me of neglecting Farry.' Pippin 's
voice was so low that Merry nearly missed the words.
'He - what?' Merry said in shock.
'He said that Farry felt so unloved, so useless, the lad thought we'd be better
off without him,' Pippin went on miserably. 'And he'd be better off in Gondor,
where halflings are honoured. We wouldn't have to waste our limited time on
such a troublesome child.' The Thain raised his face to Merry, and his eyes
were brimming. 'The agony of it is – he's right.'
Merry was too shocked to reply.
'I used to while away hours with my little lad,' Pippin continued sadly. 'I
couldn't get enough of his company; I delighted in seeing the world through his
eyes. We used to take walks together, the three of us, Diamond and me with
Farry between us, holding our hands, and I could have walked to Erebor and back
again with them, and never grown weary.' His voice broke and he covered his
eyes with his hand.
Merry moved to put his arm across Pippin's shoulders. 'Farry knows you love
him, Pip.'
'Does he?' Pippin answered bitterly. 'I wonder. How many good words have I had
for him, the past few years, weighed against the scoldings, the chidings, the
disappointed looks and brush-aways because I was too busy? Ferdi's taken him
fishing oftener that I have.'
Merry got up from the bench and began to stroll around the clearing, drawing
Pippin with him, his arm holding his cousin close to his side. It was too
chilly to sit still, despite the sun that was beginning to struggle out from
behind the clouds, and walking might help, anyway.
'Diamond, too,' Pippin went on. 'She still hasn't got over losing that babe.
She's been wrapped in her own sorrow; she's hardly had a smile for the lad
these two years, and he thinks it's his fault! He blames himself – ah, Merry!
If I had been more of a comfort to Diamond, if I had –'
'It's "If only" and "should have" that will bring your head down
to an early grave,' Merry said, quoting an old hobbit proverb.
'I'm destined for an early grave in any event.' Pippin's voice was low. 'You'd
think I'd show more wisdom in using what time I have. What will it matter, how
many papers I've slid across my desk, how many reports I've read, how many
complaints I've heard, when I'm dead and gone? What will I leave my son? A
handful of dust and ashes, slipping through his fingers, blown away on the
wind!'
Merry had no words to offer. He cringed inside at Pippin's talk of death, but
he knew – oh he knew, how his cousin failed a little more each year. Not
something he wanted to think on, but it was there, always, in the dim recesses
of his mind. And now Pippin was reaping the bitter harvest of his own choices.
He had buried his grief for the lost babe by burying himself in his work, and
only now did he see what this had meant for Farry.
'I've lost my treasure, Merry; I've lost my son.' The tears overflowed and he
gave a choking sob. Merry wrapped both arms around him and let him weep.
'Farry's not quite lost yet,' Merry said, when the storm abated.
'He has more regard for Ferdibrand than he does for his own father; I can see
that in him. I don't know if there's time enough to win back his heart, Merry.'
'While there's breath, there's life,' Merry said. 'You're not buried yet, Pip,
and who knows how many sips are in the cup for any of us? I could fall from the
Ferry into the River this very day, and be gone forever.'
'Bite your tongue!' Pippin said, horrified.
Merry chuckled and shook his head. 'My point is, Ferdi has given your son back
to you; he's given you another chance. Faramir is willing to go back to the
Smials, surely you saw that just now. Very well, he's going back for Ferdi's
sake, because of what Ferdi risked for him, but he's going of his own free
will, and that is something you can build on.'
Pippin pulled out his handkerchief and blew his nose. 'You're right, of course.
If not for Ferdi, the lad would be long gone by now.' He shuddered. 'Or starved
to death up in that tree, mayhap.'
'You owe Ferdi a great deal.' They were at the far end of the clearing by now,
where glowing coals were all that remained of Hilly's fire. The branding iron
lay discarded on the ground where Hilly had dropped it, when Faramir ran out.
"I am deeply in his debt,' Pippin agreed. He bent over to pick up the
iron, poking at the coals, spreading them out and trying to grind them into the
dirt. Realization was setting in. 'I pay my debts handsomely, do I not? He
saves my son, and I try to banish him with a brand on his cheek. He saved Farry,
and Farry saved him – from me! I am not fit to be Thain, Merry.'
Merry grimaced. 'Nor I to be Master. Who have been too long around Men, Pippin
– the Shire, or the Travellers?'
'We thought we would stop the contagion, and we are the carriers,' Pippin said
bleakly. 'Reginard saw the truth – and Berilac, back at the Hall. He told us we
had sewed this case up too neatly, without even hearing the evidence.' There
was a fallen tree trunk at the edge of the yard, left from the storm, and
Pippin sat down on it with a groan. 'Was it inevitable, Merry, that we'd come
back changed like this? Hobbits are not wont to be so – implacable.'
'Frodo did not,' Merry said slowly. 'He came back more soft-hearted than he
left. Soft in the head, I thought sometimes, and was shamed to be thinking such
a thing. The Ring-bearer – he suffered more than any of us, but it did not make
him hard.'
The memory of Frodo rose before them. There had been no hatred in him, no
bitterness. Even Saruman had received mercy from Frodo.
'But could he have governed?' Pippin asked. 'We've done a great injustice,
Merry; I am not sure I should not resign the Thainship over this day's work.
But there must be justice as well as mercy, or evil will run rampant.'
'Frodo knew that.' Frodo understood about evil; who better than he? 'He did not
invite Saruman to stay on! Only he would take no vengeance. I have been so
angry, Pippin! I didn't trouble myself to really listen to Ferdi, or Tolly
either, and I wouldn't wait until sundown for Farry to wake, because I was
consumed with anger. Frodo would have listened, and so he would have heard the
truth.'
'Sam too,' said Pippin. 'Not as merciful as Frodo, but he would have listened
with an open mind. Perhaps we'd better have the Mayor hear all our cases,
cousin.'
Merry laughed. 'He wouldn't do it; he's not such a fool! We'll have to hear our
own cases, I'm afraid, but not unless we can bring more justice – and mercy, as
well – to our judgments.' He sobered, meeting his cousin's eyes. 'Would you
really step down, Pip?' If he had the choice to stay, that is? Merry
thought. This day's work was not yet over, after all, but he shoved that
knowledge aside.
Pippin sighed. 'Who would take my place?' He stood up, shrugging as if he
settled a burden on his shoulders again. 'No, I won't step down. I made a
promise, Merry; I will not go back on it. But I think I will ask the Mayor for
some memento of Frodo, an old pipe, perhaps, or one of his pens. I'll keep that
on my desk where I can see it, to remind me.'
'A pen for you, and a pipe for me,' Merry said with a smile. 'I may even smoke
it, when I'm hearing a difficult case.'
Pippin nodded. 'We'll try again,' he said. 'Let's go in; it's cold out here.'
