Chapter 2: "Some birthday this has been...."

I've been told that to get what you want, you just gotta give what you can...

How he found himself here seemed to be a mystery, the only one who truly knew why, was him. It was one that had led him down a long and black road and it had all began with one step and one hopefully idea. 'Hope?...ha.' he thought scoffing at such a word. He hardly ever thought of the idealistic little boy that came to this town hoping to help the innocent that suffered by means of his sword.

But I know for what I want it don't come easy as that...

The little boy knew however, that the road he would travel to gain this goal would be one of crimson and nothing else. So he swore that he would kill if it would mean to bring a new era upon them faster...

They say, "Look out, boy, tomorrow comes and things will look better by then."...

A new man came in and a few men waved. He waved mildly back then scanned the room and had to look twice before he found the one he was searching for. He pressed through the room grabbing a cup of sake along the way. He then stood for a second by the table with a crude smirk on his face.
He sat down only simply stating, "Well Kenshin, it looks as though tonight some lanterns need to be put out."
The man spoke in terms only him and Kenshin knew. Kenshin understood what he meant though. Another job, another kill, another light gone out.
"I thought you said I would only be doing this for a year at the most..." his tone was still rock hard, "It is that of two years today."
The man arched an eyebrow but only shrugged, "Hang in there kid better times will be comin' soon enough."
Kenshin did not reply.
He reached into his pocket slyly as he smirked, "Two years eh? Oh, I remember you came along with us on your birthday wasn't it? Then here's your present. I know it's nothing new but it's something I came up with on spare of the moment." his tone held that of deep sarcasm.
A small envelope was passed discretely to him. He took it without even looking up. The mocking of his birthday only passed by him, he cared nothing of having a useless squabble with this man. If he wanted this man's life he would have already taken it and by this man's actions, he knew it.
"I trust you know what to do..." the man ended the conversation as he placed yen on the table and then took his leave slipping past the men once more and exited through the door.

But I'll look out the window, then look in the mirror at the same old me again...

Kenshin gripped the envelope wrinkling it as he slipped it into an unseen pocket inside his kimono. He looked out the window but he was not looking at the closed up houses, dark streets, and alleys, only that of a faint refection of what he had become staring straight at him. Not many fifteen year olds could claim that they were the feared Hitokiri Battousai that was wanted dead. Nor could they say they were even a Hitokiri at all. They didn't know of the bloodshed that came with the name Hitokiri Battousai, but when your nickname name means 'Sword-drawing master assassin' what were you expecting?
Kenshin only absently gripped his cup harder until that of a high pitched cracking noise could barely be heard. The laughter covered it up. He looked down as the sake spilled on to his hand and then on to the table. 'Not a big deal...' he thought, 'It's not like I can taste it anyways...'

Still can't get it right, still can't get it right, still can't get it right...

Nothing was left in that inn to tell that Kenshin had been there, only shattered remains of a cup and a pool of sake that was now dripping to the floor.

Kenshin walked down the darken roads staying in the shadows mostly by instinct and habit. Besides a man walking alone at this time of night would seem suspicious.
Everyone was scared and were wearing themselves down from the strain of constantly being alert. Kenshin could understand this strain all too well. His body had grown used to the constant strain of only a few hours of sleep during the day. Sometimes it amazed him with the worry of always watching his back and the constant battle in him self how he got any sleep at all...

And for all I know, I swear I never will...

Kenshin paused, his instincts telling him someone was drawing near and quickly. In a split second he had unsheathed his katana as he waited for his opponent to show his or her self. In the few years he had been a Hitokiri none of that prepared him for what happened next.

He blinked as a young girl of only about seven ran towards him tears streaked her already dirtied face, making it so she was unable to see. She wore a plain kimono that was torn and tattered and looked like a rag. She ran barefoot her sobs audible.

Do you think you'd sell your soul, to just have one thing to turn out right?

Kenshin was taken by surprise. What was such a young girl doing out so late on a night such as this? He realized though she must be an orphan, probably just trying to get by in this tortured country. He did not move, watching her with his sharp eyes. He was unlike most people when it came to seeing in the dark. He could see extremely well which was fortunate since his occupation demanded such.

For the thousandth time you turn and find...

The little girl not watching where she was going ran straight into him. Kenshin was a man short in stature and thin, but if anything this was misleading for he was tone and made of solid muscle. So he only watched his expression lacking emotion as the girl fell back on the ground.
She looked up, her face asking the question of what in the world had she hit? He met her tear filled gaze with that of his cold one.
Her eyes shifted to his unsheathed katana and she immediately tried to back away, panicking.
His eyes shot up catching that of a boy around twelve running towards the girl. He was in the same condition as the girl except his eyes held an expression of fear and worry.
He ran to the side of the little girl, "Sis, don't do that again!!" he exclaimed.
He then looked up at Kenshin as he knelt up giving an even more honoring gesture than that of a low bow to Kenshin however, it looked more like groveling...
"I'm s-s-so sorry samurai. I'm sorry she didn't bow. P-p-please forgive her, she's younger than me and doesn't understand. Please I beg of you, spare her!" the boy's words ran together in a shaky tone.

That it just makes no difference to try...

Kenshin gripped the hilt of his katana harder in anger at being called a samurai once again. Samurais were worthless pigs in his opinion. How many times had he been traveling the roads and saw samurai threatening elders or even small children at not showing the proper respect? The bowing and scraping made Kenshin sick. He remembered how at one time samurais used to be honorable and noble, now however they were just sword drawing snobs who thought they were above everyone else.
An emotion however caught him off guard. Was it pity he felt? Pity, that if he was killing to put an end to tyranny and to help the innocent and yet here these children were suffering as if no one had done anything to help them, or pity for the thought of children so young being caught up in this war? It was amazing how much a war could change paths of so many people. He could talk from experience.
"I'm not a samurai." he scoffed as he lowered his sword. "Don't act so frightened, I won't hurt you." he added.
He may be a cold hearted assassin but that's what he was. He killed only certain people; he didn't go around killing senselessly. He also never killed someone who was innocent of the war and only suffering from its effects.

Like Holden Caulfield, I tell myself, there's got to be a better way...

The boy gave him a look of disbelief at first. He was stunned completely. "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." the boy bowed.
"Stop doing that," Kenshin demanded.
The boy looked up at him curiously, obviously not understanding why he wanted him to stop.
"All that scraping is making me sick. No one is better than another...." he spat.

Then I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, dream of brighter days...

"Besides I'm not as honorable as you think..." he trailed off.
For the first in a long time, memories of his past flooded his mind. They seemed distant to him only a reflection of that of his former self. An idealistic little boy that had learned the Hitsen Mitsurugi Ryu style to help the innocent and those around him. He remembered the days when he wasn't wanted and he was just as innocent as the two children watching him fearfully now. What happened to that little boy? It was a question however Kenshin did not want to answer.
As he stared down at the children they only brought to him the cold truth. He was only fooling himself. Was he really fighting for the innocent who were suffering or only being used by the same rebel group he was banded too? This thought left him with only more questions and no answers. If so then was it all in vain? What about the lives his blade had taken? Was he truly just a cold blooded killer or a demon as all his 'comrades' claimed? He knew that's what they called him behind his back even though they thought they were so sly about it.

Still can't get it right...

The feeling of more kis(a person's aura, kind of like a presence) approaching broke his thoughts. Kenshin immediately recognized the hostility the kis let off as he raised his sword once more.
The children gasped in renewed fear as they scrambled behind him. Kenshin glanced down 'What in hell do they think their doing?' he thought as the children stood behind him.
His attention shifted once more as three figures rounded the corner.

Still can't get it right...

His eyes narrowed dangerously as he recognized their clothes and color these men worn. It was that of the Shinsengumi; soldiers part of a the current government, the same corrupted government Kenshin and the rebel group were trying to destroy. 'These men have just ran to their deaths.......they just don't know it yet.' Kenshin thought to himself as his face still held a cold expression.
"So......it looks like we've got some kid who wants to play hero..." one soldier chuckled.
Kenshin glanced back at the kids behind him, then back at the soldier, saying nothing. To help the innocent, that was what made him join in the first place wasn't it, back when he was only fourteen.

Still can't get it right...

"Stand down or we'll cut you down." a man spoke gruffly.
"What is your business with these children?" Kenshin demanded his tone unwavering.
"Children need to learn to respect us! And not steal....you little brat!" the last part was directed to the little girl peeking around from Kenshin's hakama. (Special pants worn back in these times to allow freedom of movement)
Kenshin looked down at the little girl who looked up fearfully. The only thing the kids stole was food.
"They only stole food and by the looks of it, they needed it more than any of you Shinsengumi pigs did." Kenshin retorted as he laid the blade against his shoulder, these men were irritating him and that was a VERY dangerous thing to do.
"How dare you insult us! I think it's time that 'little hero' is taught a lesson." the last one growled.

And for all I know, I swear I never will...

"Get back and hide..." Kenshin spoke to the children as he lowered his sword to that of a battou-justu (a style of fighting developed by the Japanese to be used in war) stance.
The children nodded weakly as they complied, hiding behind a crate.
A soldier raced at him his sword high ready to strike him. He had no idea that he won't even take another step before his life was over.
Kenshin watched as the lifeless corpse dropped in front of him as so many had done before. He only looked up at the soldiers who were now looking at Kenshin in fear. For his eyes had narrowed and instead of an odd purple had now turned an ominous yellow that reflected even the little moonlight that shone. They were eyes that had seen blood shed before, and was used to it.
One soldier however gathered what little courage he had left and ran at Kenshin shouting, "I'LL KILL YOU!!!!"
Kenshin smirked, "Odd, I am the one who usually says that."
With god like speed and a single slash the man fell to the ground never to get up again.
"But however, unlike you I make it a promise, not a threat." he spoke talking more to the last soldier that was left standing.

No way out...

The soldier turned tail and started to run, full of fear. Kenshin did nothing but only stare at him a bit watching him at his futile attempt to save his life, in Kenshin's opinion.
With a sticking thud the soldier fell to the ground never to get up again. Kenshin walked following the path his katana had traveled through the air to retrieved his sword. He pulled his sword free from the lifeless corpse then turned only to hold the gaze of pure fear...

Same old stuff always drags me down...

The boy's little brown eyes widen at the sight of his narrow yellow ones. He looked like what he truly was now. With patches of crimson all over his kimono and hakama it was all too obvious. The little girl was shaking with fear as she huddled, scared that they were next.
The little boy turned to the girl, "Run sis, run now!!!" he shouted.
The girl immediately jumped up and started running away as fast as she could manage without falling in the dark alley.
"I-I'll-l f-fight you." the boy stuttered horribly as he got into some sort of battle stance.
He was shaking from head to toe yet he would sacrifice himself if it meant his sister had a chance to escape.
Kenshin only stood there, studying the boy with his sharp eyes taken back at the sharp pain in his chest. It had been a long time since he had felt pain....or anything for that matter. He scoffed as he cleaned his blade on his hakama. There was something all too familiar about this boy and Kenshin wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He stared at the boy once more as he sheathed his katana. The boy amazingly however held his gaze with his own. After a few seconds Kenshin only turned and walked away, leaving the boy surprised and speechless.

No way out, never gonna get it...

His footsteps were the only thing that sounded in the back alleys once more, though even that was at the edge of his thoughts. New questions and realizations filled his head. He remembered the pain he felt as he looked at that little boy that shook with fear at the very sight of him. Was that it? Was that what had caused that? Or is it the realization that only few years ago Kenshin was just like that little boy, innocent and not covered in blood, and willing to help those that suffered.

Still can't get it right, still can't get it right, still can't get it right...

This made him look down at his outfit already covered for the night and he even hadn't completed his job yet. He stopped still as he pulled the envelope from a secret pocket inside his kimono. He opened it and held up its contains.
Just as usual was printed a name, a description of the man, and where to find him at a certain time and below was noted he would probably be with bodyguards.
He never knew anything more of those he killed. When he used to ask the question he was always handed the same answer. 'You're supposed to kill these men, not get to know them!' So he gave up on learning more of his 'targets' as he came to call them. He could not think of them as humans, it would be impossible to kill them that way.

And for all I know, I swear I never

He wrinkled the envelope angrily. This only reminded him of all the new questions he had thought before. Would killing this man really bring a new era of peace faster? Or was he just some soldier one of his leaders had a grudge against and wanted out of the picture?
The anger he felt from the thought of being used like that boiled inside of him, but he welcomed it. It was better than being so numb. He had become so numb now that even the nightmares he used to have since his first killing were beginning to fade. He had become so numb he no longer felt remorse or regret after a killing.

Never never never never get it...

He looked up at the sky as his eyes widened at the realization of what he had become in heart and soul. He had felt nothing, was nothing, and in turn it was as if he had some how cheated death making him undead himself. It seemed to him that with each swing of his sword and with every death he created, he killed a part of himself.
Was this what he had come to Kyoto to do? Was this what he had left his training incomplete for? To senselessly kill others and lead himself on a road to suicide?
He looked down at the paper wrinkled in his hand. He clenched it even harder as he began back down the alley. It seems he was owed some answers and some he would have to find for himself.
"Some birthday this has been...." he scoffed.

Author's Note: Yep this is the end! ^_^ So...what do you think? Favorite part? Something you liked or didn't like? Let me know! I would love to get some feed back, especially on this one! Well I have a few more stories stashed in my hard drive if I get reviews I'll probably put those up as well!